r/Technicallythetruth | wonder what they sell 🤫

i need large tanker of unsea juice man who identifies as six-year-old dominates crossfit kids class was he born on the 29th of february [Music] how's it going ladies and gents welcome back to mk i'm your host robin and today i'm going to be taking a look at r slash technically the truth you know the best kind of truth okay let's jump into it first thing huh you can't live in an abandoned home ah well i guess we're starting pretty strong here how would i describe my childhood probably with adjectives yeah i bet you would dirty bastard using correct grammar in english oh tyson what do you have to say take your age subtract two then add two that's your age let me see here hold on um how did he do that taking offline exams after attending online classes is like joining the army after playing pubg what pubg haven't heard that name in years according to a japanese legend when you can't sleep at night it's because you're awake wow this is some owl city level logic right here tell me the truth i'm i'm ready to hear it since people with one or no testicles exist anyone with two technically has an above average number of balls i wasn't as ready as i thought it was waterloo please the station well i'm a bit freaking late for the battle aren't i [Laughter] today would have been my birthday if i was born today no no come on now shut up i just saw two blind people fighting i yelled he got a knife and they both started running i'm a good person well that's one way to break up a fight i suppose colorblindness oh boy what are y'all trying to say here also called color vision deficiency people may experience colorblindness yes that would be a common symptom of colorblindness would it not my name is bond james bond i didn't ask for a middle name mr bonbon asked my dad for a macbook well played dad gee thanks being born increases your risk of death by one hundred percent man those pro-lifers haven't thought about this statistic now have they no one beatboxers why would you do that the pork box didn't do anything to you man god it's just not right me i trained this chicken to talk her let's see what's a male deer buck how much is 200 pennies buck buck oh i get it you son of a [ __ ] why is there a coyote on a bus because they can't drive and they're trying their best bruce why don't you mind your own business if you never did this you had no childhood no really you you weren't born so you just kind of died inside someone's body you know what i mean every cigarette you smoke takes seven minutes off of your student loan debt now that's one way to think about it man big tobacco's scary man you technically have two minutes to live but every time you breathe it restarts the clock so if i hold my breath for more than two minutes i die i exist without my consent same dude i think the vast majority of us are in the same boat as you though so you ain't special any series and or movies related to cooking no masterchef and no ratatouille breaking bad well yeah that really is the epitome of technically the truth huh bible spoilers jesus dies yeah but it was for the greater good you know it was for the sin of all man i i don't know i didn't read it i made it to like chapter three and then just kind of lost interest but i think that's what happens babe why would you do that your dog died i thought bringing you an identical one would cheer you up what the heck am i supposed to do with two dead dogs now i don't know play fetch was there anything i ate that wasn't microwaved the salad you freaking donut of course you don't microwave salad dude you asked he answered and he answered truthfully 7am delhi airport long queues for liquor and not a single person at the bookstore what does this mean liquor can't be downloaded why do you have a framed picture of your ceiling fan i realize that's a mirror that's a fan art say dad [ __ ] no you are wrong son i am now going to throw you out the window the aim of golf is to play as little golf as possible oh my god i hate how accurate that is i can't believe boss forgot my birthday i thought he was my friend you how did you get past security you let your guard down is it too much to ask to just remember bank robbers djs preachers are you with me give me your money everybody on the floor put your hands up if you think about it a highway to hell seems a much easier and faster way than a stairway to heaven well they've got a lot more people to get down there than heaven has to get up there so you know it kind of works itself out me explaining that a pregnant horse can run faster because it has two horsepower my physics teacher does it i mean one regular horse theoretically has like what is it 14.5 horsepower or something like that i'll be back in 10 minutes but if i'm not just read this message again i've looked at this for five hours now if you read that message one and a half times you're legally allowed to leave single father tries to end world hunger with his rock collection hashtag explain a film plot badly oh my god i cannot wait until avengers memes die forever japan's flag is also a pie chart of how much japan is in japan japan is japan japan is japan japan is japan how do we really know though when you run out of christmas wrapping paper happy birthday jesus no matter how kind you are german kids are kinder oh how to speak a foreign language step one go to a foreign country step two speak your mother tongue double thumbs up that costs you thousands of dollars all languages travel at the speed of sound but sign language travels at the speed of light change my mind i don't really want to change your mind sounds like it would be a lot of my time wasted kids could you lighten up a little yeah sure that one's really funny guys selfie with messi yeah you're not wrong about that one i guess so what do they do with the rest of the mole they release it back into the wild why do you ask no really why do you ask took me 10 minutes to find what's wrong with this picture it took me 10 seconds to realize he's too fat to be an astronaut it took me 20 seconds to realize there's no wind on the moon to ruffle the flag and it took me 30 seconds to realize you can't see the moon from the moon pretty sure you can see the moon from the moon though a good percentage of my friends are nazis that percentage is zero that is a good percentage of nazi friends to have absolutely the world should strive to hit zero percent nazi capacity we've just got a lot more than we realize to worry about first only fans wait a minute i've got a sneaky suspicion you guys aren't selling what i'm hoping you are in there what's blue and smells like red paint okay uh i don't know blue paint what is suction cup man doing in this chat and how does he not know the answer to that my sister calls it wrapping paper well your sister's a genius and you should be thankful elmo stared in disbelief at the parasite that had been inside his body for decades are you saying that these puppeteers leave their arms in there for years and years and years at a time because that hand looks surprisingly clean i would rather sleep on your chest than a hundred pillows yeah given that illustration i would too good god my neck is already messed up enough man that just hurts to look at got polio me neither thanks science or diphtheria pertussis tetanus measles mumps rubella hpv hemophilus pneumococcus hepatitis a hepatitis b varicella and the list goes on and on and on and on fun facts with squidward all of you have kicked a pregnant woman before yeah that's right squidward and i'll do it again make no mistake this picture is very depressing cause he's pressing the d key look at that dude carbon dating you look older than your profile picture i've been under a lot of pressure are you coming to my gender reveal party this afternoon yeah man we'll all be there it's a boy dude how do you manage to stay cool all the time because i don't get into arguments with stupid people i just cut it short and say you're right but that's completely irrational and wrong you're right rise and shine jesus great run you lost 79 kilo oh no oh no no someone used apple maps prisoner who briefly died argues that he served his life sentence well i guess he's got a point though r slash ask women what's the quickest and easiest method of shaving your legs cut off both legs you'll never have to shave again that's the fastest and easiest is it really the easiest fifty percent air fifty percent water technically the glass is completely full he said as his iq points grew did you know if you wear a sock inside out the entire universe is wearing your sock except for you no a christmas carol by charles dickens abridged christmas sucks you suck yay christmas ah the nintendo switches yeah two dollars is not a tip five dollars is not a tip anything i give you outside this [ __ ] bill is the tip yeah don't mix this up man don't get this wrong anything other than the bill is the tip you can deal with it describe how the transformer works right we got car robot man we might have to check with zach on this for accuracy but i think this is correct honey tell me what's wrong fire trucks are actually water trucks yeah how long has it taken you to figure that out how old are you 27 28 jeez man i figured that out like an hour ago the four horsemen of news headlines world bank says poor need more money diana was still alive hours before she died federal agents raid gun shop find weapons planes forced to land at airports i have a very annoying neighbor can someone teach me trumpet that's the best part you don't need to learn to play trumpet to annoy them just try your best and have fun wow you're so right thank you everyone who received the first smallpox vaccine in 1798 has died really makes you think doesn't it yeah if you're cold they're cold bring them inside and warm them up and put them in your mouth wanted a man's been stealing wheels off police cars police are working tirelessly to catch him this one belongs in terrible facebook memes actually quite a few of these did so you know oh thank goodness on that horrid note we've come to the end of another video ladies and gentlemen made this a while back holy crap that is insanely detailed also you should always feel proud of yourself for being able to draw hands accurately i know i've said it before but i will never stop saying it always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed this video consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed the video well make sure to get yourself subscribed and click on that bell icon and until next time i'll be seeing you you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 436,401

Rating: 4.9614472 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth emkay, technicallythetruth, technicallythetruth emkay, reddit truth, truth, reddit puns, dad jokes, puns, emkay technicallythetruth

Id: 5llnUVTHd7E

Length: 12min 31sec (751 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 02 2021