ALL OF R/MADLADS

[Music] stephen russell escaped from prison by using laxatives to fake the symptoms of aids he then called the prison posing as a doctor asking for prisoners interested in an experimental treatment and volunteered once out of texas he sent the death certificate to the prison stating he had died that is level 300 iq no smoking alcohol and this mad lad is taking a lighter right to the bottom of the bottle you are breaking that rule sir watching this at 11 10 and i have school tomorrow and i'm 10 years old what a mad lad at a young age hello who are you andrew and roo speech 100 that is speech 100. this is hilarious to watch as a european so is article 13. that's that's devastating that's a real life mad lad everybody like this image so when you google ashton kutcher it's the first thing that appears listening to this from australia that's so sick thanks for the support i didn't say i liked it or it was good dude sounds like crap idiot sir archie one of the first great american racehorses retired because quote there were no opponents willing to race against him his offspring were also so successful that they were effectively banned you could see the the guy training the horse smiling he knew what he did children terrified after theater plays insidious instead of inside out the best thing i have seen all day imagine you're going into a theater it says inside out on the outside like come on little tommy little jessica let's go watch inside out how do you not know within the first i don't know 10 minutes that you're not watching the right movie it has the title card okay chemistry substitute was slowly writing endgame spoilers on the board every time we talk [Laughter] that is that is cruel and unusual boom was really out here acting like they didn't have their own dangerous and dumb trends there was a fad in the 1950s called booth stuffing where teens would try to stuff themselves in phone booths boom is really out here and like they didn't have their own dangerous and dumb trends booth stuff and that actually looks kind of fun though i'm in gunpo south korea i found a guy in montevideo uruguay on reddit that's the best you're going to get from me the exact opposite side of the world today we made an earth sandwich 8 a.m for me 8 p.m for him i love the internet gotta love earth sandwiches dude yummy call me i think i'm all right teacher did you do your homework student did you grade my test teacher i have other students tests to grade student i have other teachers homework to do outstanding move thanks man i love his little sound booth he's in george wallace what are you doing in mad lads all straight up eat a club sandwich at a cottage and cottage cheese at the club i really don't give a damn anymore [Laughter] george wallace you are a mad lad 30 likes and i'll drop this 10 code here's the code he's not wrong he's really not wrong i can't be mad i edited this comment so the replies make no sense alex alphys what is wrong with you oh nothing's wrong he's just a mad lad diet mountain dew diet c or mist tropicana lemonade which is out of control get a hold of yourself tropicana lemonade mad beverage not really a lad at quackity hey nice quackity made it tell me this isn't cute this isn't cute you mad lad you did it thanks virgin full name what a name what is a suitable punishment for my 14 year old daughter she used my fabric scissors to cut tortilla wraps holy hell judy [Laughter] judy replies with death judy's gonna grab your daughter by the hand and throw her off the top of cliff judy is gonna get the soul stone by sacrificing your daughter what's your dirty little secret my ex told me to drug her and do with her what i wanted so i drugged her and play video games all night with friends she still thinks i screwed her multiple times that night not my thing but she wouldn't stop pestering me about it boredvalk says i badly photoshopped my dog then i paid facebook to show you this instead of an ad have a nice day as perfectly sculpted photoshop hey andy hey andy hey andy hey andy hey andy hey andy what is your refrigerator running yeah haha you fool you have fallen prey to one of my tricks i was not interested in the operational condition of your refrigerator i was simply conducting a sleight of hand in the form of clever wordplay what i was referencing was the movement of your refrigerator in the form of physical running which is simply preposterous drat foiled again i talk to my friends like this from time to time it's the best way [Laughter] so my uncle got a drone and now he's messing with people oh my god that's awesome to the person at work who always steals my donuts your day of reckoning has come oh my god my men's no [Laughter] oh my god my man's filling the doughnuts with mustard oh i'm gonna pass out that's the funniest thing i've ever seen back to back heavy hitters on our slash mad lads my emoji musashi was a 17th century japanese swordsman who twice arrived late to duels and defeated both opponents upon his next duel he arrived early and ambushed the force that was assembling to ambush him what a mad ladies and look at that the waters dodge in his sword attack england's oldest man says key to reaching 111 is avoiding dying well he's not wrong warning if i hear even one end game spoiler half the class chosen randomly by coin flip fair and impartial will immediately fail my class don't even make up lies to be funny i don't want to hear one word about it at all sincerely mr thanos the hardest choices require the strongest wills my 39 year old resident had me watering her flowers for well over 20 minutes because they had to be perfect she then told me to look at them really closely and tell me if i noticed anything they were fake literally not real at all then she said april fools go get me a coffee ella maya mad lady i am the biggest wiener lover of them all from wienerlover3000 wiener lover 3001 entered the battle not so fast oh no the assignment description for essay 5 was to write a review on a movie that we had seen the opportunity arose and i took my chances fight club the first rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club comments i saw an opportunity and i took it i cannot say that i am sorry because that would be a lie am i proud yes dropbox feedback i struggled over this grade for a long time i finally decided you get a grade for a laugh and how relevant your review is for this particular movie let me warn you do not try this kind of and i'm just gonna say this kind of stunt again blah blah blah whatever he's a mad lad he can do what he wants you stole a wet floor sign and then you keyboard spammed you'd probably slip it on the floor cause you stole the sign idiot found this picture framed at my grandma's house little does she little does she know every single one of us are giving the middle finger [Music] please do something about the dandelions in your lawn please free dandelions take as many as you like hello mayo i brought my dog to the boys restroom and she's a girl what a mad lad that's not allowed alright i put spider-man temporary tattoos on my entire body i am spider-man man the perfect betrayal where's the lamb sauce you'll never find me gordon indian groom was caught playing pubg at his wedding while the bride stared in this belief she was probably looking at his cool kill streak he probably got that chicken dinner burger king releases unhappy meal because no one is happy all the time mcdonald's responded can we make a statue for the hero who killed hitler and ended world war ii hi world war ii was a bloody conflict that took millions of lives however the man who managed to ended by killing hitler gone unrecognized for too long so i proposed we'd create a statue to this hero in berlin by where the fiera bunker once was please support this cause i think he knows she's on facebook twitter myspace and heroine pewdiepie fan from india traveled to uk to watch deleted t-series diss track that's dedication who reported my premium snapchat to the irs i'm being effing audited oh this is about the thought audit i remember that being funny well it wasn't just do your taxes idiot i'm not a christian jesus christ typing in chat he thought he was in a k-pop band just getting random attention because you look vaguely like you're in a k-pop band it's the glasses it's the cute k-pop glasses that are doing it for you buddy mad lad makes wikipedia page out of his fishing trip my last fishing trip me with one of the fish i caught date a couple of days ago location i'm not going to tell you my secret fishing spot result got two fish commanders and leaders me that one big bass maybe with my g loomis conquest mag bass casting wrong strength i'm not sure but a lot of fish like 100 casualties and losses nine worms two fish just send this to harvard they gotta let me in now dear harvard admissions committee thank you for your interest in giving me a harvard rejection letter i have reviewed your letter and i am impressed with your rejection reasons and other suggestions however i received many rejection letters this year therefore after careful consideration i have decided not to accept your rejection letter please understand that this is not a negative evaluation of a rejection letter but rather a reflection of my unique choice criteria once again i appreciate your courage to give me a rejection letter and wish you every success in your future rejecting i'll see you all on campus in august best wishes blind admitting you cheated on your husband creating an entire religion to explain why you're pregnant with another man's kid thanks mary lottery winner arrested for dumping two hundred thousand dollars worth of manure on xboss's lawn that man has got pure joy on his face man sues mcdonald's for still being depressed after eating happy meals not a guarantee but watch a woman tell her husband she's pregnant while conan o'brien pours good milk down the sink what a mad lad reduce garlic breads back to 50p or my nan's not coming out oh i love that image so much the customer at subway wants to speak to the manager i worked at a subway that didn't have any authority slash managers just a couple of minimum wage base level workers i don't remember what this particular customer was mad about but she was arguing with me and didn't like the answer i gave her she has to speak to the manager and they're not being a manager i decided to promote myself on the spot and replied with manager speaking how can i help you this did not make her very happy because she realized she was not going to get a different answer and ask for a phone number to call the owner has specifically told us to never give his cell number to customers so i gave her the store number she gives me a crap eating grin thinking about how much trouble she's about to get me in when the phone behind me starts to ring i will never forget the face she gave me as i answer the phone look her in the eyes and ask her how may i help you in usa it's called trash can in uk it's called bin throughout the world it's called fortnite oh god of old town road except it's not old town road and i eat a sheet of paper well now there's a miner in our video one time i borrowed a pen from the teacher and never gave it back mad lad the human race has built its fair share of remark feats the chinese built the awe-inspiring great wall of china in the 7th century the egyptians built the egyptians built the majestic pyramids of giza thousands of years ago and bath university students have just built a huge tower of picnic benches on their campus mad lads whenever i see an endgame spoiler i report it for porn so the instagram workers have to watch the end game spoilers wow i didn't even know that i didn't know that you were forced to watch it i thought it was just automating yeah what a mad lad this guy posted this on the subreddit r slash red no [Laughter] destruction people have read it what is it like to be super attractive this is reddit there are no attractive people here thanks smoke wine every day wait are you the guy who was just smoking the alcohol earlier in the post that's the mad lad he's back hey lucifer's time lord says one time in math class my teacher was really ticked at us and he was yelling do you even know basic math do you know addition what's two plus two corey what's two plus two and four corey wasn't paying attention so i leaned over to him and whispered seven and he blurted out seven and i have never laughed harder and i doubt i ever will i know this is probably an r slash that happened but god i could just see that happening so i noticed one of my friends downloaded my sex playlist off itunes so i thought i'd have a couple songs to throw her off adam tell me why the national anthem is in your sex play we had a kid at our high school who refused to speak for the entirety of our high school career even if a teacher called on him the day we graduated he spoke for the first time his reasoning for his four years of silence was just because i could mad man washing my hands without soap good god you're not even washing your hands just getting them wet hey james so this is one of my senior pictures and i wanted to make sure you could tell i was in the water but it looks like i'm just laying in black dirt is there any way you could look like i was under water more sure james fredman you've done it again classic mad lad one hour standing in the swamp for no reason thanks one giant onion i'm texting illegally i meant to be cleaning my room mad lad played basketball against a guy with air pods and an apple watch on he answered a phone call mid-game and hit a three in my face while talking about the girl he was with the night before i never felt so humiliated in my entire life classroom management 101 i went to the midnight showing of avengers end game it was awesome i am tired behave where i start giving away spoilers yo harassing people with fat yoshi i'd do that that's i would get arrested for doing that honestly in florida get arrested for doing anything to someone else in a public bathroom even if you just you know go wash your hands and like hey hey someone's taking a poopoo in there he can't be in here right now i almost got arrested in india no clickbait visiting scammers in india doom on a calculator ti 83 plus games tutorial how baby says mama is first word after reading book about dad oof hi james could you please remove the guy watering the plants in the background thank you sure yeah i play fortnite with a gamecube controller legend well guys i bought winrar that is that is mad lab material i once lost all the vowels in my scrabble set sold it on ebay as the welsh version left twix is better oh in our slash right twix that's uh that's declaring war oscar ceremony and the oscar goes to joaquin laughs rdj why are you laughing joaquin you won't get it i don't remember making you king of my booty a true king doesn't ask when he conquers the neighbor's kids challenged us to a water fight i'm in just waiting for the water to boil side note can i please take you on a date pro tip maybe don't comment on a post of my dead dog to ask me out which character from the office are you angela oh good job u.s history teacher admitted she liked to look at r legal advice so if you see this what up blank i did my work maybe if we all do a big cough facing up we can cough it into space get this guy in a phone call with the president lpt donate to a food bank instead of buying reddit gold for stupid cliche comments thought i was meowing back to my cat for the past hour but it turns out it was just me and my dad meowing at each other from different rooms in the house test post please ignore don't tell me what to do upvoted that's when you delete your comment only b words delete their comments nope and there they go i edited my comments so you won't know why i got all these likes how dare you playing the horn pub intro on the school announcements oh reviews are public and editable tick tock bad reddit good flying to mcdonald's on my paramotor i've seen this this is uh it sure is something i didn't get the joke sir private message i will explain i also didn't get the joke sir google it spotify account someone broke into my spotify account and whenever i try to play a song they play frick you by celo green guys i'm blank on a different gmail since i'm not allowed to text my parents can monitor my real email okay so i created a new one you have to have sex with your username how does it go lucky me definitely not you ouch when y'all both missing free throws and someone in the crowd starts saying just like your daddy and tell him you daddy the best to ever do it but then again you ain't got to say nothing they already know might freak around and eat an entire sleeve of oreos update freaked around and ate an entire sleeve of oreos was it worth it i'm sure it was oreos are pretty good i'm gonna send this into a discord server and say you just got carl rolled nice who do you want to make out with my future husband uses banana kitty cookies future husband i'm a teenager i want to be dangerous i want to do something crazy i want to go steal a traffic light rebellion how do not post shane images it's spam end of posting it will get your post removed posting many will get you banned and there's chains they got a reward though i'm not paying him what don't let him know that people usually pay each other for commissions limfow you're one mad lad yeah and an [ __ ] if you spell out the entire pledge of allegiance i'll delete this account ouija says i pledge allegiance to the flag you can have sex with any person ever who do you choose someone's mom over xbox life without using numbers how old are you 15. i was jerking in class once while the class was being noisy and the teacher was on their laptop and the teacher's assistant walked up to me and said you shouldn't be doing that in class and i looked at her dead in the eye and said you shouldn't be looking down there i legit got rick rolled by some graffiti and it was a qr code can you answer this question without using any vowels ouija says flip off emoji can y'all stop saying wholesome so much your chin wholesome you can hold some of these balls bro ignored my dm for years but wants me to repost her missing sister la mao go find her yourself mrs independent what brings you here if you are a creep my secrets are mine to keep i'm at beauty sleep i'm not a creep i'm here to peep keep your curtains open or i'll weep 1 out of 5 stars bad this game is about as good as my math mark you should probably be studying more damn imagine getting roasted by a developer hurry and comment on psycholog1 on tick-tock no when someone makes a no-one literally no one comment no one literally no one doomguy in every single video having to do with telling someone to shut up someone in my running group ran a marathon in his driveway all 26.2 i would literally go insane i want a handwritten letter so freaking bad handwritten letter nice be my friends on instamessage add me and chat with me now no the toothless stitch hybrid has to be one of the cutest things to ever exist i'm confused because that is the worst one so far i'm confused because i don't remember asking for your opinion but feel free to have said opinion i have no problem coming to terms that not everyone can appreciate amazing art what the f is there a bear on a jet ski mind your own business why vaping is so bad for you who's watching while puffing clouds i queen if you respond to me truly i will reveal a secret that i kept for 11 years sure hello there general kenobi i'm in love with you since we met what i thought we were bff since 09 well okay freaking you want to go on a date after this virus thing ends i queen yes i'm surprised it hasn't got an award though people can get awards for comments for no reason other than some people just have the money like i can say mcnuggets and get a gold it's not that smart i'm starting to ramble but i seriously think this is a problem stop giving people awards for no reason do it because it's true absolute beauty this comment alone should not get an award mcnuggets freak you told my wife google has been furloughed i changed the assistant's voice from female to male just for a change my wife asked me why the voice had changed a few days later i told her the female had been furloughed by google she seemed to accept that explanation so might leave it as is until lockdown has ended well now nobody can say i just pulled the stickers off i just pulled the stickers off this democracy manifest our slash memes doesn't allow moving pictures me hey i don't know what a butthole looks like can you show me looks like this this subreddit is stupid like people get rewards for saying oh my crush texted me back so i'm gonna say something and watch this blow up you did it you crazy son of a [ __ ] you did it learned today that my ex-husband buys his weed from a lesbian dominatrix that banned him from djing at her sex club because he kept playing his version of lean on me made entirely of samples of homer saying what are some things that continue to work even when broken your mom oh my god the classic your mom mad lad one of my favorite memories of my cat was walking into a room and seeing a glass next to the edge of the table with the cat sitting next to it i remember thinking well that's not a good place for that glass to be at that point the cat looked up at me looked at the glass and then turned back to me and while maintaining eye contact took her pawn slowly slid the glass off the table yeah that cat is a bad lad a friend gave me a rick astley cd in high school and actually really enjoyed it he rick rolled the hell out of me like if you have the prototype i do but i didn't like him okay toast butter i'm not gonna bs you guys i haven't done anything other than play animal crossing off stream for two days i'll stream tomorrow 100 animal tossing nice i'm in home depot where the hose at gardening section thank you i'm actually going insane my new wi-fi provider had all porn blocked and i genuinely don't know what to do with myself i'll screen record some stuff and send it to you never going to give you up but with a pornhub link so people can't memorize it he made a group chat named it zeke's surprise birthday party and left the chat on thursday june 6th i'm off at 10 i'll be home at 10 15. smile and he named the name of the conversation zeke surprise birthday party and left he just la mao little i can't stand him holy crap have any of you heard of the harvard mit pigeon prank an mit student dressed in a black and white striped shirt went to the harvard football stadium every day of one summer blowing a whistle while scattering breadcrumbs or birdseed to coax neighborhood pigeons down onto the field at harvard's opening game of the season upon the referee's first whistle it's said that hundreds of pigeons extended onto the field causing a half hour delay that is amazing bmw driver goes on 170 miles spin to have a break from the wife and kids you know what fair enough what's the manliest quality ever answering come in when someone knocks on the stall door while you take a crap can't afford a mask here's a life hack oh my god he's an astronaut now la mao in my zoom lecture the professor asked if anyone had any questions and one could use the rey's hand feature professor calls on him and he has the nerve to just say no sorry i was just stretching how does a typical english accent of your countrymen look like when written like spoken for finland it looks like tis the [ __ ] very monotoly and often simplifies some words they are easier to pronounce this type of english english saxon is most commonly associated with rally drivers or affix f1 drivers so yeah thanks for listening to my ted talk oh okay and uh well there's there's greece sometimes i join a server forget i'm in it and forget to turn on suppressing at everyone so i get a notification like this occasionally at everyone face reveal the rumor is that i'm hiding occult symbols in my show are totally false i'm not hiding them at all they're in plain sight dummies alex hirsch never change dash p dota song dash p dodo song cued bass hunter dota official video it's not called dota song you are disgrace to bass hunter p pidotasong where are the other nine things one being dead two drowning three falling four caught by delta p five electrocution six dog bite seven burning eight cancer nine alzheimer's ten bofa what's bofa both of these nuts admin me admin you to wear here wait friend added mad lad as a group admin heck yeah mad lad removed friend as a group admin the tyranny begins now pool attendance i have a gorgeous pool boy come every week he's needed for both my mental health and pool's cleanliness can he still come along barbara barbara normally i'd advise against giving your pool boy is that a politically correct thing to call them is performing his job he's still allowed to attend your house but in your particular case i have zero trust in you being able to maintain social distancing so my answer to you specifically is a firm no church sign proclaims chris is risen yo indian officials force tourists to write i'm sorry 500 times after they broke lockdown that'll teach him i hate catching feelings there's this boy i just like him so much he makes me so happy and my stomach gets filled with butterflies when we talk well on the occasion that we do i want to show him that there's love in the world and teach him to trust the girls again i want to make him the happiest boy alive i want him to be there for each other but at the end of the day i know i'll never be with him i'm just clingy and annoying is his name jack reed no damn yo who the kentucky fried frick is deleted and why is he in my comment section mind your own goddamn business someone translated dracula into icelandic and it took over 100 years for anyone to point out that he just made a fanfic rewrite of what he wanted the story to be entirely new version of the story with some all new characters and a reworked plot uh shorter puncher more erotic oh no they're predicting this will be a rough week for america it was a rough week for jesus too but just look at the outcome he died jokes on them i go to random pools and pour in packets of artificial sweetener background information the video was on how much pee is in a pool mark robert found out how much pee is in a pool by figuring out how much artificial sweetener is in the water artificial sweetener only comes from some drinks so the only way you could get in the pool is by someone peeing it out i spent one hour slowly taking off all the little hairs on my orange oh my god that is a nice looking orange now where did i keep my unsea juice bruh if this post gets gold you're deleting this deal time to put up or shut up telling police officers that i'm high oh my god ah the nickelodeon hotel i stayed there once there was a dead squirrel floating in the pool kids were crying when i told them it was the real sandy oh no i hold the door because i like to watch people do that awkward quick walk from a distance away to get to it and that apology look that follows as they pass me say what you want about only fans but i just moved into my dream house at only 20 years old get out of my house i get it don't call me a female dishwasher is better how does b words instead of men sound can't use a term for females on males quick maths lad this disrespect above me now hashtag feminist hashtag feminism come look at this come collect your dishwasher she's faulty hi thanks for getting in touch we have forwarded your inquiry to bosch home uk we'll get back to you soon the average teacher in the united states makes 58 353 a year this is a disgrace under my administration we will bump that up to sixty nine thousand four hundred and twenty dollars a year hell yeah ace watkins he's got my vote gamer press for 2020 baby today the student debt crisis reached 1 billion 650 foot weight that's trillion holy today the student debt crisis reached 1 trillion 654 billion 792 million 448 thousand and 855 dollars just made the payment so it should have dropped by 275 dollars crisis averted he stopped student debt they'll be writing simon's name in the streets 275 simon will be his name ed sheeran got sick of his neighbors moaning so he just bought their houses ed sheeran is lazy and i bought that house during the area 51 raid i'm gonna wear a t-shirt with a url on it so the guards look it up after we all die i'll rick roll the military after i'm dead that's like level 10 mad lad that's some cr that's catastrophic really his name's cryptic for a reason is that some cryptic message he leaves after death what's the most rebellious thing you did as a kid as a kid i should have lied to my dad's face about having a school project on the solar system i even made up a deadline so we'd have plenty of time but i just wanted to make something with him not sure why i lied it's kind of sad really i'm leaving youtube for two years two years later he comes back to youtube after two years he kept his word he kept his word and look he's real happy about it maybe he had a little bit of burnout murphy's law states that the best way to get the right answer on the internet is to not ask a question it's to post the wrong answer what are some examples where you applied this law that's cunningham's law not murphy's law murphin's law is anything that can go wrong will go wrong oh i see what you did right okay david donelly more like david dummy [Laughter] ask a guy who works at mcdonald's anything what do you work mcdonald's four-year-old can i have some of your candy wife i got this for mother's day you're only a mom because of me why are you bowing me i'm right i was arguing with my husband and my son screamed yay two christmases from the other room text on bag reads as this text has no other purpose than to terrify those who are afraid of the arabic language sometimes when my girl makes me mad i upload pictures with her forehead edited to be slightly bigger my baby look like megaman but that's okay that's okay professor your formula sheet has to be one-sided me oh i hate that oh i don't like that shape it's like one endless loop but it's all once uh i don't like it that's the worst who let him do that just let him pass the test of the sheer impressive skill alone five guys nah hold that phone up five gays got him god i'm good r slash roast me this could be the poster of ant campaign uh i just proved it can't sir [Music] an eight-year-old girl was screaming at the grocery store because her dad would not buy her a chocolate bar so i bought one and ate it in front of her that's just cruel you're a bully you're just a mean person block my number bro i dare you how many phones this man's got he got 3 6 9 12 man's got at least 25 26 phones and you're paying a monthly bill for all of them how much money are you making apparently that persistent kind of money you have 26 phones there is an unsecured ihome speaker within bluetooth range of my new apartment you already know what i just did he rick rolled them that's unforgivable logan's run 22 buying every seat at a sad movie so no one will see me cry i wish i had that kind of money i would have bought every seat i went to go watch daddy's home 2 in theaters and i wish i could have bought out the entire theater so no one could have seen me laugh at that movie i just saw a dad in cargo shorts on a riding mower shoot some finger pistols and another dad on a riding mower what a freaking power move it's kind of that i'd be except i'd be riding two riding mowers my foot one foot per riding mower i'd be like jean-claude van damme except jean-claude van dad want to be this clean get pressure cleansed this freaking guy straight up cleaned the exit ramp to advertise and pressure cleaned out his number i ain't even mad at him for it honestly that's pretty that's some pretty solid marketing though i cannot be mad at that one time i made my therapist cry lmao didn't you go to school for this coward didn't you go to school for this my three-year-old asked me how long he had to wait until he could stop listening to me i told him he had to listen to me for the rest of his life he looked me dead in the eyes and said i'll listen to you for the rest of your life toddlers are cold-blooded man it will be a lot harder for kids to win against their parents in video games in the future yeah my parenthood goals to stay just good enough at the latest games that i could beat my kids at the latest game and then go victory screw their mom i admire this guy that's a that's a power statement if i've ever seen one hey jimmy you playing the fortnites yeah get dunked on kid watch me crank my 90s i'm gonna go crank your [Music] now i'm gonna go crank your mom my dad brought me home mcdonald's god bless his soul my dad died no mcdonald's for you i'm gonna eat my nuggies in peace now cole go think about your dead dad somewhere else grandmother tricks speeding drivers by pointing her hair dryer at them she's too dangerous to be kept alive quarantiner do it mace windu quarantiner like if you have a big p my man edited the comment for 3.3k likes to say like if you have a small in case you haven't noticed you've fallen right into my trap elmo doesn't care if you're white elmo doesn't care if you're black elmo doesn't care about anybody's skin color you all taste the same elmo oh i don't like that statement elmo you have something i want to talk about where's dory where's the fish where's your dorothy fish where is she death row inmate eats an entire bible as this i'm gonna read that again because that caught me off guard death row inmate eats and i'm reading this right an entire bible as his last meal if you claim to be metal and you're not this guy then you're just a poser i mean yeah i don't see how you give more metal than that this man was on death row he's gonna go get taken out and put into the next realm and he goes bring me a bible sir it's your last meal stutter bring me the word of god and i will crunch on it like breakfast guys guys i need to get my license asap i was on the train back from stratford and this guy next to me got a call from his ex while my daughter was crying how can you say i told you stop calling me i've got a family now can you not hear my daughter crying damn that's that's a smooth move this girl thinks i'm gonna chase her she doesn't know there's local mills that want to screw me right now on tub score i just gotta enter my credit card information my social security number and my mother's maiden name as the oldest brother i've mastered the art of faking my dad's footsteps just to mess with my siblings he is too dangerous to be kept alive now this is an avenger level threat peter dinklage is on the calendar for february shortest month and you select me this will not be forgotten what's something that you act like you dislike but you secretly really like i knew a guy with a huge foot fetish that would tell people he had a fear of feet just so girls would try to scare him with their feet did you mean dan schneider that is something about that's really creepy i'm not even gonna front something about that is really gross oh no i'm scared of feet but in his head he's like yeah bring on the toes i don't like that let's follow my wife until she yells at me and you have almost 400 people watching you live follow your wife until she yells at you seems like something i do jeff created a group frick jeff added you you're now an admin jeff left because it says frick you jeff you're a solid man you get exactly what you want to say in the most clever way possible we love you i'm buying a dollar store skeleton and a shallow grave on oh wait hold on one more time one more time damian you can do this this is an easy sentence this is an easy sentence no problem i'm burying a dollar store skeleton in a shallow grave under my new deck should be funny in 30 some years when the next guy is rebuilding it the fox that killed like 30 of our chickens just had to go to the front yard and take a nap he just had a long day don't worry about him think it's easy killing all those chickens i bet it's not i bet it's not the lionfish is destroying the florida coast now they're learning to fear the glock [Laughter] extreme outdoorsman introduced this invasive lionfish to a glock 17. that man is tatted too some biker just dawned scuba gear and went to go shoot up some lionfish of course that's florida how's life baby gorilla that baby girl ah screw it i'm already in the deep end how's life my harambee 6 970 followers i'm going to have to block one of you who's it going to be any volunteers can you seriously grow up 6969 followers i quit today hey i'm quitting uh how come i just don't really like you guys no more i got a new job also so uh each job requires a two week notice this is extremely unprofessional on your part good luck each job require scfu you lucky you got a tax the hell i can't even complain i quit my my job in a very unprofessional way if you were suddenly immortal could feel no pain and healed like wolverine what would you do ah skydiving no parachute eat soup a little bit too hot i'm leaving forever my mom took my phone i'll miss you all so much i'm crying goodbye shared via the nintendo 3ds image share nintendo 3ds image share i screamed i see that dorothy's been using twitter on her nintendo this account will be shut down [Laughter] hello my mom took my phone in my nintendo ds so i have no choice but to use my wii thank you all for the support and love i'll answer my dms and follow back when i have a stable connection to twitter bye through the wii u image share i do not know if this is gonna tweet i'm talking to my fridge what the heck my mom confiscated all my electronics again via the lg smart refrigerator [Music] oh she's so persistent i got hugged by my crush it felt pretty good update it happened again uh i just pretended i'm a really huggy person to my crush so i just hug her every time i see her and she thinks i do it to everyone ah here's a little lesson in trickery i see yeah keegan knows where it's at would someone say your joke louder than you and get all the credit when someone say you joke louder than you and gets all the credit shouldn't have made the joke nike now look what's happened someone said it louder and got all the credit respect from past 20 years i've been doing bodybuilding i don't eat egg chicken mutton pork beef i am a pure vegetarian and i want to become the first veggie mr universe and prove that you don't have to be non-veggie to build body my name is kumar kudu and i am the person standing in the back of this picture [Laughter] select all squares with motorcycles go ahead and select it felons it's 2019. we stealing horse white shirts yeah that's right yeah if you get with me your sweatshirt's mine i don't care if you're a size medium smedium i don't know it's mine now i'ma stretch that bad boy out [Laughter] lost almost 205 pounds last month damn dude what a dramatic weight loss uh what'd you do this weekend local man paralyzed after eating 413 chicken nuggets so the limit is 412. microsoft hired a man named mac book to star in its latest ad slamming apple's laptops that's the 200 iq play i remember one time my homie got a girl's number that worked at mcdonald's and this idiot sent her a text the next day saying mcmorning and she left him on red mcmorning milwaukee man living next to airport paints welcomed to cleveland on his roof to confuse passengers my parents have access to mine and my brother's bank accounts and accidentally took money out of my brother's savings instead of theirs to pay the mortgage and now every time we tell him to do something he says you can't talk to me like that in my house ah cheers dad still at work text mom okay chicken pie for dinner ah frick's sake pish mom says you got a new haircut let's see what the hell is that a skin fade four on top what you think i should have pulled out that's what i'll think congrats on getting married pewds now you and marzia can hold hands uh i'm 15 and me and my ex held hands all the time in school last year you can hold hands before marriage i know nobody asked about me but i was using myself as an example you sinner can ahmad bam me please i'm a manchester united fan and i'm tired of seeing this sub of my similar interests spam me please ah nah lad my hero absolute mad lad nice thanks to his crazy friends this guy now has a freaking prosthetic nerf gun attached to his arm what man's the terminator he's the nerf inator during my interview today i poured some water into a cup and it overflowed a little bit nervous asked the interviewer i simply replied no i just always give 110 get out of my interview this morning on a whim i decided to change my toaster setting from three to four welcome to the new me thanks for following my journey has anyone told you how beautiful you are today no better luck tomorrow wtf lol hey he asked i'll keep using finger quotes every time i say the word organic and the people at this farmer's market want to fight me pepsi bottle coca-cola gloss i don't give a damn that's an og mad lad these are shoes with doggy footprints on the bottoms i have these and it's so funny to see my neighbor blame the dogs for crapping on his porch hey wait wait just one second i feel like this crosses the line of mad lad on new year's eve here in new zealand some people built a sand castle island complete with a pikmin table and the tide was out so that when the tide came back in they would have their own private island and therefore not be subject to the local liquor ban good job new zealand hey you forgot the best part public drinking has been banned in the entire coromandel area and violators could have faced fines of 250 however the construction attracted admiration from the police with inspector john kelly commenting that's creative thinking if i had known about it i probably would have joined them that's incredible only a fool would buy ikea furniture instead i just download the instructions and keep emailing their service department to say that i'm missing a piece until they ship me all the pieces over a six-month period you know i want to say that word instead i'm gonna say you wouldn't download a shelf because i don't know what a yep i can't even say it if there's like two two vowels in there what's yipper yipperlig why would you the university of oxford says yes see you in october who said i was going to accept some people are far too cocky the fat acceptance movement is the only movement that doesn't involve any actual movement i'm from ireland and i'm posting here what are you gonna do about it not much i feel like our slash america isn't really used that much i mean your post has one upboat in 22 hours this is literally the worst music i've ever heard i am the artist yeah and i'm the victim holy crap is it just me or is there a sudden influx of awards on every post now i swear 90 of the posts on my feed have already had one award and i feel like this has only been true very recently edit what's something you're good at that's absolutely not useful at all giving awards i have to thank you for showing off so well what huh i just want one brand to tell me that we're not in this together and that my health is their lowest priority kevin we're not in this together and your health is our lowest priority yeah it would be stakehome huh i'm honestly surprised it wasn't moon pie this time those guys are pretty gnarly nothing some mr clean magic eraser sheets can't clean up how the hell are you verified what do you mean how a good marketing department will recognize that you gotta get that social media everywhere we just waited an hour to see our pediatrician as soon as he walked in my toddler took his hand and pointed to his watch and said this is a clock which was the most passive aggressive thing i have ever witnessed damn little genius huh i'm 13 colorblind and just solved a rubik's cube on my own for the first time ever yeah this really is a post huh good for you though what borders on stupidity giving awards to comments look at that someone gave you an award oh boy it's an ask reddit post straight men if you had a son and he told you he was gay how would you honestly react and what would be your first line of words to him hi gay i'm dad i don't know what i expected honestly i really don't also that guy's name is scottish twink excuse me how does that work i'll legally change my name to daddy imagine your teacher calling you daddy it'd totally be worth it yeah i feel like it would be worth it for about five minutes and then you'd really really regret spending all the time and money getting that done you can have sex with one real person from all of human history who's your ultimate lay i'd like to have sex one more time with my wife who passed away from cancer nine years ago my body yearns for hers the ultimate downside to finding the one is she may die young and leave you wanting i also choose this guy's dead wife holy freaking crap my dude oh honestly one of the best comments ever left on the internet giving this award to a person with three months free of self-harm i'm deceased award call an ambulance i'm laughing too hard jesus christ also can we put that title in title gore please why do they have negative two because when posts get down voted they no longer display a positive one but rather a negative one allow me to be a demonstration ah yes perfect there you go an electric lineman was fined for riding without a helmet cuts police station's power supply as revenge jesus christ just gonna keep getting worse and worse and worse until eventually they're at full-blown war and it destroys the entire country fap like to gain entry or yes they require a specific fluid all right that was just nasty let's move on a 55-year-old gardener believes he set a new world record by traveling at 44.6 miles per hour behind a wheelbarrow but but why though i mean really why guys i recently bought a 256 gigabyte iphone 11 pro my son dropped it and the screen shattered anyways i'm doing a free giveaway the kid is eight years old cute thin and not really tall well he's eight mr d gotta give him some time when you see this comment twice when you see this comment twice ah yeah me after logging in on my second reddit account to give myself gold did you really did you really whatever man whatever floats your boat you do you oh good a snapchat story i'm playing gta at one in the morning and i have school later don't tell mom holy crap dude no way freaking hell berry's on a mad one i bought poundland's nine pound gucci trainers and now i'm drowning in [ __ ] what the hell is this publication i really gotta start reading it also bro won't lie those kicks are kind of sick i want them indonesian it worker arrested for hacking into a jumbo billboard to play hardcore porn and it's from the daily mail too click at your own risk i suppose you thought twitter for iphone was cool behold twitter for covid test kit what this is the worst year in history come on how do you piss off an entire fandom if you say anything bad about jon the unordinary sub is going to downvote you so bad to the point that mods will delete your post anything bad about john the what sub see i'm just confused what the hell are they talking about for one night all crime is legal me goes to mcdonald and ask for a water cup and fill it up with soda well yeah but if all crime is legal then crime doesn't exist you can't commit crimes if everything is legal i climbed 400 feet up in the air just to change a light bulb i see your 400 foot light bulb change and raise you 1200 feet i see your 1200 feet and raise you 1500. cheers good god i really hope those jobs pay super well today i learned famous playwright henrik ibsen probably saying that wrong after overhearing his nurse assure a visitor he was doing better spluttered his last words on the contrary you ever just die to flex on medical professionals not yet but i plan on it also fun fact we learned in class today michelangelo carved a sculpture of a roman god broke off the arm and then buried it the sculpture was dug up and was considered to be an authentic roman artifact until michelangelo came along with the missing arm and called shenanigans on himself just to prove he was as skilled a sculptor as the ancient romans honestly mike chill yes you go artists i don't know why but it tickles me hearing someone refer to michelangelo as mike when a girl tells you she lost her virginity so you offer to give her yours my mommy raised a gentleman does anal virginity count because i lost that becoming a mod my uncle just sent a message in the family group asking for money i privately messaged him asking for banking details so i can deposit it he responded saying he doesn't actually need money he asked for money so that nobody in the family would ask him for money how the turntables someone's thinking with portals ah yes the cast of monsters inc james p sullivan boo and mike mike wazowski the person in charge of the pictures hey dave you're known as the nicest man in rock but if you could pass that title on to anyone else who would you choose screw you oh come on netflix make this happen i think he'd make a quality ben 10. i can't even cap what y'all think no oh well the man himself has spoken he's kind of busy right now i feel pretty your beauty cannot be described in words that's true but in numbers i'd say 2 out of 10. militant vegan wearing a cow onesie is mocked and chased away from a mcdonald's in kfc by a man waving a chicken drumstick wow that is one hell of a headline never in my life did i ever think i would read the words militant vegan today i learned an orangutang in san diego zoo kept escaping his enclosure so that he could walk around the zoo and look at the other animals as well as throw feces at his ex-enclosure mate that he didn't like omg here's a picture of him flipping someone off damn i relate to this dude double sound half a video not related to drift piece of crap peace dude imagine getting pinned on a two-year-old video and getting corrected changing movie names to prequel quotes until my boss notices day one i am the senate good evening all this was going to be about our schedule and online meetings but honestly i have no idea how to teach this class virtually and i've decided not to try besides most of you who take this class are stem kids looking for an easy a or philosophy majors who show up high i can smell it i've always been able to smell it regardless just do the one survey i send you each month and you'll get an a ps if any admin sees this i'm tenured you can't fire me see you next semester bye bye oh god tenure is such a valuable weapon i'm gonna unironically review rage shadow legends i will not be sponsored by raid shadow legends please do not pet the raptor he's not friendly and it costs a lot to repair him guys it's my first edit please be gentle rich redditer good quality memes on this sub i had to replace some floorboards so i left a little surprise for whoever removes them next i made a meme with my memes i'm playing both sides so that way i always come out on top i connected my phone to the school's speakers and rick rolled over 500 kids thank you rick for letting me have this moment of superiority for anyone asking or confused my school had a play and i was the only sound guy on the backstage team when the show ended i played never gonna give you up instead of the ending song yeah alright downvote this comment if the meme sucks and i'll flip the meme when i was little my brother convinced me it's a fingerprint sensor spent hours trying to open the computer with it i always hated that little mouse nipple dogs only no seagulls oh come on dude can't you read oh right dead people have read it how'd you learn how to read sign language and regularly of course deaf people have read it how'd you learn how to read dead bro stop it was a typo yeah but we still think it's funny so you can suck it they swore 307 times that's it holy crap that's gotta be some kind of a record for an uno game i mean after all those are rookie numbers you gotta pump those way up next time bruh teletubbies is the most boring show on earth it won't be boring when your family finds you dead in a ditch holy crap guys no stop i posted a class cancelled sign on my history class door everyone saw it and left i had made the decision to party instead of study for our midterm exam in a last-ditch effort to rectify it i arrived at class early and posted a note that read class cancelled meeting in progress i watched as students came up to the door and quickly left i waited until right at class time and burst through the door like i didn't see it my professor and i waited with one other student who apparently didn't see the sign he had a puzzled look on his face and went to the class door when he saw the sign he informed us the test would be rescheduled of course i moaned and said i have to study again i did that two more classes before i stopped for fear of them getting wise damn alright dude school computers flash games unblocked flash games oh yeah come right on in they blocked the word unblocked so i had to put unblock to bypass the system man those systems really were bad huh if i'm ever popular enough to do a big scavenger hunt the prize is going to be two dozen flash drives each with a different rickroll video does the usps have an only fans let's really get them some coin wet ass postage can't you just buy a book of stamps every month or something like that russia is saving the world the vaccine against covet 19 will be provided to different countries is that how you're going to bring it is it just in one big syringe one time i had a thought process that didn't end logically i was horny and i thought vaginas are good because they're warm fire is warm a big fire is too warm a little fire is little warm i have a small lighter i'll put that to my penis i burned my penis in 2004 a group of yale students pranked harvard by posing as a harvard prep squad and handing out place cards to over 800 harvard fans at a football game the harvard fans were told they would spell out go harvard when it actually said we suck oh sucks to suck harvard libyan president however you say his name once angered an islamic terror group who threatened to kill him the group believed they would be sent to hell if they were killed by a woman so he replaced all of his bodyguards with women oh damn all right would you allow your ex to be in your life again my ex works in a pharmacy so whenever i want to spoil her mood i just go there and buy condom for no reason sometimes i go three times a day anyone need any condoms this dude is doing online dating right i keep 300 he for satisfied every day looking to make that 301 if you're interested please ma'am message me hello how are you doing today just send me the virus link yeah okay i like that you're cutting right to the point to all those who use our competitors products happy father's day damn date sherry 31 years old grandfather shaken companion for granddaughter she suffers from poor choices i don't care who you are just someone please get out of the house every once in a while chica keeping me awake at night well guess what mother effer it's baby shark on 12 hour loop maybe that'll teach you maybe that'll teach you [Laughter] someone painted this rock hey he's just looking at the locals nothing wrong with that so saying hello he's a nice little guy you and your child are driving late at night along a deserted road you come across a van full of money with the driver dead from an apparent heart attack what lesson do you teach your child lift with your legs not your back don't want to hurt yourself carrying all this moolah i bonked my way across america by saying i was prince harry what a lad [Laughter] i remember about a decade ago i accidentally fought it in my front room on the sofa my sister went did you just fought and i went nah i was just sounding my foot rubbing against the sofa listen then i just fought it again she was convinced nailed it it took me about two seconds to realize what's going on here and he got us all i'm sorry if you uh survived this long without looking at it but your journey ends here happy 21st birthday to my beautiful daughter left raylen thanks for the clarification dad hey all joey there just doesn't want to confuse anybody the only thing flatter than the earth is an anti-vaxx child's ekg that's a little dark i see you all tweeting from roombas and smart toilets but nobody can be on my level tweeted from my spacex ai fuel canister inside my brain my neurolink trying to find a doctor at an anti-vaccine rally doctors zero morons 204 well is this the consensus teacher did one of those word cloud things with a virtual response thing for the question what makes water so special i submitted the word wet 600 times what a champion of the people was late to my first fight club last night so i missed the intro rules still fight club was brilliant and i highly recommend fight club oh josh you should have stayed for the rules that's a funny tweet though i like that that's a 10 out of 10 tweet in high school i was dared to play gay chicken which is where two straight guys pretend to be gay okay he told us and the first one to chicken out loses the other guy and i are really stubborn and neither one of us wanted to lose we've been married 14 years and we run a bed and breakfast in vermont with our adopted daughter if that dude doesn't chicken out soon i'm gonna start to suspect that he's actually gay well congratulations on the marriage best freaking hotel ever the hotel staff cannot guarantee additional requests well i would like a picture of johnny utah and bodhi from the 1991 classic point break to be waiting for me upon my arrival got exactly what he wanted boys go to bed nah hi oh my god you're like eight who are you are you crying i am crying why my boyfriend just broke up with me okay show me your boobs you will be beat her wait you'll be beat her show me your boobs you'll be beater so my boyfriend comes home last night absolutely smashed gets undressed and then just stands there in my room so i'm like are you coming to bed and he goes oh no thank you i'm sure you're lovely but i have a girlfriend and goes to sleep on the floor beautifully loyal 10 out of 10. calling in sick to my doctor appointment i can't come in today i'm sick wait wait but that's why you gotta go to the doctor it's actually illegal for teachers to keep the class after the bell as punishment it violates the geneva convention's laws on collective punishment ah life hack just freaking accuse your teacher of a war crime that's what i did i'm gonna miss miss johnson every time i stay at a hotel i take a bite out of the soap bar to confuse the cleaning staff that's a bite mark all right why would you do that this is the one kid whose mom washed his mouth out with soap and he liked the flavor basically i'm going to message this chick and i'd rather be a good idea if you lot chose the first message most like comment decides what it is you're all jerks hey cute crap in a corner i'd guard it i was tasked to reserve seats for 10 with kids to watch jurassic park is this that i that's a really interesting way to book seats i just go to the theater and pay and then whatever seat's available i'd take it seats for ten your seats are one two three four five six seven one two three four five that's funny oh man you ruined a couple's day boring hey uh why do you eat pizza like this answer me coward you see it's very simple very simple i like to eat the crust before i get to the good stuff first because i get to the bad stuff first then i get to the yummy toppings the pepperoni the cheese the sauce you know the rest donald trump destructing how he eats pizza donald trump deconstructing how he eats pizza is what i meant to say definitely the coolest part about twitter is the fact you can say something creative and get 1 000 likes and then some nerd will screenshot it and post it on reddit and get 45 000 upvotes thus getting more internet points than you hey uh you spoke it into reality tell me something interesting about yourself i wear crocs during sex oh well you're doing anything tonight hopefully wearing crocs oh dennis troubles are brewing when dennis is around is she got a dog like this she a hoe my grandma has a dog like this your grandma oh psa florida residents reminded not to open fire on hurricane dorian bullets come back don't shoot oh that's hilarious i really hope that's real me 1988 my dad calls everything by the wrong name why does he know what anything is me 2018 calling my kids mind game computer legos is way funnier than saying minecraft and it pisses her off every time my boo and i went to six flags the other day and we're waiting in line for a ride tell me why this dude asks for a kiss and when i do he pushes me off and yells hey yo chill you're my sister in front of everyone anyway he's for sale oh on clearance too so my ex-girlfriend she's getting married and i'm the dj i can't wait to play our whatsapp voice notes you hear that jennifer hope you and your loved one have a good honeymoon i caught my friend stealing from me so i created a fake profile with his picture and real contact information and his address on a gay dating site i tell guys on the site i want to take it in the butt and guys are showing up to his house constantly trying to screw him and he has no idea why they say what comes around goes around but i don't know what came around for that to come back [Laughter] i'm gonna mispronounce this name i just want you all to be prepared when i do hidaki kobayashi is a 51 year old japanese man who dresses like a 15 year old a japanese school girl i'd still bang do not heat in microwave for more than four minutes but this mad lad does not heed any sort of rule any sort of expectation or any sort of guideline he goes for four minutes in one second my god it just hasn't been the same since noodles anyone okay i just bought my girl on everything i have 10 minutes before she notices is there any way i can screw you i saw this post it made me very happy because it's the funniest thing i've read in like the last week and a half i just imagine the 10 minutes being up and she you just hear an uproarious yell from across the house frick i lost my iphone again tweeted from my gameboy advance tm 1999 there are millions of websites all hyperlinked together 2019. there are four websites each filled with screenshots of the other three i see that this photo has been cropped to hide the fact that it's a screenshot of a tweet and now it's on instagram and the circle continues and now we wait and that's a super that's not a mad life that's a super villain this is a this is a very dangerous man glasses on or glasses off during sex and why i don't wear glasses but i do put on safety goggles before sex gonna have the proper ppe i love this man he taught me everything i knew seem wrong if you wouldn't breastfeed from a cow then you shouldn't drink their milk out of a carton either ah keep this sexy milk stuff coming i'm horny as hell everett everett you're getting a call from god he said quit this immediately bro he's on that hard stuff he on that hines bro hero schoolboy killed by single punch after telling bouncer you'll work for me one day no smoking is good for the environment because it kills humans i just got grounded because i sent this image to my mother who smokes she just couldn't handle the truth and that's okay not everyone's prepared and ready for it this is the most florida stuff i have ever seen mind you there's a hurricane coming and this is in a publix go away that's how we do it in florida baby hi uh just curious is it illegal to park in a mother and child bay if you don't have any children with you hi blank we would you suggest you refer the matter to the owner of the private car park no i think i want to refer this matter to you what they care about for us chief what rule was made because of you men are allowed to wear business casual shorts in the office dress code didn't allow to wear shorts but didn't allow skirts showed up on a kilt until the rules changed [Laughter] that's dominance that is power i upload my tinder pics upside down so when girls turn their phone and swipe left it actually swipes right 200 iq move i should start doing that thanks t-whap this dude in front of me at subway said let me get a six-inch no homo that's actually subway etiquette zakaria see when you go to subway you have to say no homo if you say an amount of sub you want if you want a foot long say no homo six inch no homo it's just etiquette there i want more male friends who don't want to screw around yo you've asked me do it jiggle at least four times this week i mean do it though do it jiggle chat answer brandon do it jiggle i can tell you brandon i mine does oh mine do jiggle hit me up playboy as the oldest brother i have mastered the art of faking my dad's footsteps just to mess with my siblings he's too dangerous to be kept alive no i'd say keep him alive instill fear i applied to be on the next bachelor but i got tired of waiting to hear back so i invited 20 of my tinder matches to the same bar and i'm doing this stuff myself good luck mike if you're disney princess tadashi hamada was the most boyfriend material disney has ever produced too bad the material was highly flammable i didn't watch the movie so i don't get the joke did he did he die in a fire me as a child eighty 7 plus eight thousand nine hundred and five plus eight thousand seven hundred and sixty five and i'm counting on my fingies me as an adult ten plus five technologies beautiful it's fifteen and it's crazy how you morph from a child to a calculator nature's just truly amazing your sibling just became a super villain and you the superhero has to stop them how do you do it oh easy i tell mom what's the most nsfw moment you've ever experienced while at work my co-worker climbed up a ladder without anyone spotting him freaking idiot that's not safe workplace behavior oh my god just came home to a dead chicken cook it mean it's chicken if we were meant to eat them god wouldn't have provided so many different recipes that make them so tasty it was my pet you jerk my dad bought me those chickens hello well you're so mean you could have at least pretended to care okay i'm sorry if i were there we would give it a proper funeral service perhaps something similar to a cremation at about 375 degrees while wrapped in a soothing blade of cajun seasoning and lemon juice yeah something like that we run a petting farm which also has bitey wild animals snooping nearby thought i was being a fun dad letting my son design the shirt message to be conveyed please don't touch the wildlife him this is a big no-no around here my phone my photos my own phone will's laying down the law and this time it's it's personal i replaced a photo of my sister with vladimir putin before my family came over for christmas and so far they haven't noticed yet that's how you get them in your family killing the ender dragon with redstone uh just kill the ender dragon with a sword named redstone that's easy look at me i missed a genius i know the rules when you're made of honor and told you can wear anything you choose i regret nothing this song makes me want to reply to my own comment same foo fighters bring out rick astley and rickroll 60 000 people at reading festival see i pulled a sneaky on you and that brings us to the end of our slash mad lads and if you liked the video leave a like down below and subscribe for more content from mk and as always i'll be seeing you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 2,426,827

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes

Id: ZA_9O72wwlI

Length: 64min 16sec (3856 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 29 2021