r/Technicallythetruth | yes.

10 hours of nothing close your eyes for full screen no i believe that's for vr only [Music] hey everybody welcome back to mk my name's jack and today we're looking at a bit of technicalities and the truth if you're looking for lies then this place is i mean it sort of is for you i guess 404 not found yes it is it's right there the numbers right there i found it i win your joke loses actually this does apply to the dress code my dress code that is age is just a number actually age is just a word oh man there's gonna be a lot of these aren't there answers that are so dumb that i just laugh at them ridiculously oh by the way guys a quick shout out to our latest bit of fan art yep that's it that's the joke that's the joke everyone fun fact nothing starts with n and ends with g shut up shut up give me your teacher's license you're fired go away you go home sir how old are you 15. what do you look like i look like a human all right all right looking pretty suspiciously lizard person right now buddy but hey who knows maybe she's into scaly skin there's also a joke in there somewhere with her name being lizzy but i can't be bothered finding it moving on the four horsemen of chess kind of underwhelming to be honest i like the apocalypse ones much better better designs how far does a squirrel have to fall to die zero feet squirrels have been known to die without falling at all so the answer to your question is zero feet you know what that actually makes sense especially if you ask how many feet you can leave the squirrel with before it dies not even at the two minute mark yet and we're already going to a dark place oh boy meanwhile in tinder i lost my watch at a party once an hour later i saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at that party infuriated i immediately went over punched him and broke his nose no one does that to a woman not on my i mean i saw it coming i i still uh i don't know why marvel hasn't tried to put advertisements on hulk he is essentially a giant banner yeah you go ahead and approach the hulk and tell him you're gonna slap a sticker on his butt see how he reacts which bird does not lay eggs penguin nope a male bird scientist no i'm a confident driver you almost just ran someone over confidently though is so guy [Music] oh yeah here they come being healthy is just the slowest possible way of dying well yeah that's what being healthy is about personally i'm not in a race to experience the end game dlc of life if 666 is evil then 25.806975801127 is the root of all evil do you have a freaking calculator in your shower security question what was the last name of your first grade teacher my first grade teacher hacking my bank account i'm in [Laughter] why is this so freaking funny it's a joke it's that that's why ah yes i was definitely go to four years of school to make 50k per year and get shot at why not teachers do it plants really be like i do not vibe with this dirt and die look i'm not sure if that's exactly how it happens i think it's more so whether they can actually survive in the soil not really just them being choosy that said my green thumb's about as colorful as concrete so i'm sure i'm wrong you can't say anything racist without being called racist these days oh man what what a shame this is from the reductress they make articles sort of posts all the time like this and they're hilarious i highly recommend checking them out i'd be a lot thinner if i wasn't so fat i'm sure that's a very true thing mr butt chest no one literally no one ah i make a lot of bad puns on purpose because i find them funny because how terrible they are i feel like technically the truth subreddit is basically just karma for me making those terrible puns goodbye dad any final words just too good well i know what i'm saying on my deathbed it's sorted yep done church is just a book club that's been stuck on one book for centuries see that's why it's now law to change the book every week at book club otherwise before you know it everyone's killing each other over what they read in a book once it just gets out of control you say when you add direction to speed you just got vectored you can't tell with the quality of this image but it is meant to be a vector image i feel this kind of ruins the joke i went into a pet shop and asked for 12 bees the shopkeeper counted out 13 and handed them over you've given me one too many that one is a freebie oh thanks dad jokes i'm gonna write that one down what is the difference between a 20 gaming mouse and an 80 one like i was curious as to know if there's any important difference or is it all just a scam sixty dollars that wasn't what he was asking you know that wasn't what he was asking you can't spill food on your shirt if you're not wearing one and they say hitchcock and scully are idiots in the show they are they're smart just not in the general sense just ring up b and q and ask how big is the q he said same size as the b what gets you out of bed every day i don't know about you guys but my arms and legs usually get me up for me it's the ice cold water bucket i have time to tip on my head at 6am every morning been finding the water's not working as much anymore so i'm kind of resorting to using blood now just to kind of really shake me up i thought you'd like to know that i'm outstanding in my field dad can you draw me a green pig in a desert in a witch's hat bit of an odd request but uh here you go a ham sandwich i hate you why did you make me draw this meanwhile in r suicide by words meanwhile in our slash ask reddit geez we're meanwhiling everywhere today you have the death note whose name are you writing my own ah there's the technical truth this season of earth is just not realistic it's just not so many plot holes like where did the murder hornets go why introduce them if they aren't important to the story yeah i think we covered this in a previous video but i'm pretty sure that was just a filler arc not even even an arc it was just a filler episode considering its current pace and viewership i'm worried they're gonna resort to a fan service episode i mean i am not comfortable walking around in a g-string comfy onesie for days what to do if your parachute fails if your parachute fails don't panic you've got your whole life to fix it [Laughter] [Music] oh that was a very shady comment shady one masturbation is single player sex okay but why is your jojo stand dabbing yeah who needs a partner when you've got a deal what really brings out the child in me a miscarriage ah you're correct but i don't want you to be wand fighting prevents abortion sucker pee pee for jesus i'm just loving the dude's smug grin that wins it for me oh look uh if i was a parent i'd [Laughter] i'd take photos of my kids having these as treats and then on the 21st birthday i'd show everyone in all honesty i don't think i'd actually do that making kids feel bad for liking guys in any way i feel is a bit of a weird thing to do just playing table tennis we've all kicked a pregnant woman before i should call my mom it's quick it's easy and it's free pouring river water in your socks why would i do that it's quick it's easy and it's free that i guess that did answer my question me on the outside me on the inside blood and muscle and mucus and spit and saliva a zoom feature that makes things smaller please tell me the name of the site so i know to never go there it said zoom it didn't specify in or out people like you who are still somehow correct are the kind of people i hate oh oh wait his name's jew oh no i don't want my nazi biggest hollywood director directors by height yeah i'm technically the biggest this is the exact logic i go on about my sister and i she's technically shorter than me so even though she's older by age she is technically a little sister it's a swimming pool next we're gonna have someone photoshopping a pool table on there with people playing on that pool table so there's people playing pool what that is swimming in a pool while that is in a pool that is swimming inside a pool people get confused when converting kilograms to pounds it's simple take the weight you want to convert let's say 100 kilos for example and you freaking google what it is in pounds oh it's funny because that's exactly what i always do no need to thank me except for you leela thank me in my quarters condoms those are for freaking puddies yes seems common sense but i've seen many people use them as gloves in this current epidemic so i'm not surprised that i need to clarify this whose car is this where are you headed what do you do miner mine oh no oh god it works at all oh i hate you i hate you oh it's always the dumbest ones how often do planes crash just once okay no that's not the answer she's looking for oh no oh no this i'm sure by now you've noticed oh it's so dumb why do i love it so much what's it like to be at the oscars from your perspective i could see a lot of legs see it sounds cute and innocent but he's being a total perv shower thoughts someone out there has peed at you for taking their username i couldn't believe mine was actually available how long have you been waiting for this moment since i joined reddit five years ago i'm so happy without saying the title how does your favorite movie end credits well mine too what are the chances i can't believe we have the same favorite movie now i will disappear on the count of three uno dos he disappeared without a tress wow texting and driving deaths in 1492 there was none that that was this clearly supports the truth that we need to get rid of cars see there were humans in 1492 but no cars now we have cars there's deaths and texting and driving oh coincidence i think not hey oscar it's tony can you make a flyer for our new happy hour sure no probs send me the details four dollar kettle one four dollar miller light 22 ounce four dollar lettuce wraps four dollar jim bean shots what time does it start monday to friday 3pm to 6pm done and done buddy oscar you deserve a raise is there anything worse than a lego for stepping on in the middle of the night a landmine my god what the hell do you let your kids play with what is a gift that will last a lifetime cast iron skeleton any consumable item like toilet if they're a reader a good book they may education dynamite depending on how you use it so if the big bang happened 13.8 billion years and mata cannot be created or destroyed and all of our bodies are made of matter that means that all of our bodies are 13.8 billion years old so in conclusion officer yes she was old enough we should have expected that conclusion we really should have someone made up dinosaur sounds without hearing them change my mind to be fair they did base them on the skeletal structure of their throats and mouths and compared them to the shapes of modern animals but funnily enough if we try and draw modern animals and humans the same way we draw a dinosaurs just based on bone structure alone you begin to realize that we actually may have their designs completely wrong i made fried rice a little confused but he got the spirit not gonna lie those things still look rather tasty italian men lying on the floor unconscious while the police stand there and do nothing i hope a luigi can get me bail yes that was purposely a terrible french accent you're just an aren't you no i've got arms and legs and everything you know there's more to humans than just the butthole right what hmm mind-blowing art ah surely by the second one people are getting suspicious sir the virus we flattened the curve really it only worked if we all get it sir oh girl come here let me spit on you oh my god a prehistoric celebration happy 20th anniversary to dinosaur streaming on disney plus dinosaurs are actually millionaires years old idiot there's so much i love about this person's profile picture name and tag some say black lives matter some say all lives matter some says no lives matter but we all know that anything that occupies space and has mass is called mata damn it isaac still trying to make it your own thing jurakyard they said a mask and gloves were enough for the grocery store they lied everyone else had clothes on oh so you find it funny and clever when it's on a board but if i try and do it in real life oh it's suddenly illegal and wrong shocking tales of redundancy i'm the worm it's the worm the worm thanks for turning up can i get you a drink at all sparkling water would be nice oh me too there's this girl i like but i don't know what to do just ask her out man i don't have the guts the propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool when it stops you can actually watch the pilot start sweating [Laughter] but where's the lie pastor we should all strive to be more like jesus done well yes but no john cena a nine-year-old created a portrait of john cena with 750 rubik's cubes well i can't see him so i suppose he did well done that kid okay i wouldn't have been surprised if it was a face of two people that could clearly get mixed up but john cena and john wick are you sure if you like water then you already like sixty percent of me are more into drinking alcohol then you'll love the other forty percent of me too shouldn't you be dead then please call an ambulance would you take me to the beach looks like you're already on the beach okay why do so many people resort to the candid stare when it comes to looking attractive like you look like a lifeless doll i where's the personality in your face just be like you know what's worse is that this is actually very correct evacuation plan run i'm on a diet i used to eat all six slices of pizza now i eat three yeah this is why i try to avoid pizza as much as possible because i know i know i'll just excuse myself by saying oh i'm only having this much of the pizza it's okay and before i know it i've had the whole pizza it's diet killer man it makes you relapse all the time can i call you back i'm just watching a live stream [Laughter] [Music] i'm going camping for a short bit soon and i am totally gonna use this what are you wearing i'm wearing a suit smile if a bear has you stuck in a tree follow these steps locate trunk hollow enter tree trunk saw out bottom of tree tiptoe away this works extremely well in cartoons in real life you would just die well thank you for the educational lesson that has done nothing to help me no politics here just firearms literally i will never ever experience the epic badassery that is being this man right now my living room corner wall floor ah god damn it god damn it at the moment a pie chart is actually done properly on the subreddits and it's a burglar breaks into my house he can't take anything because that's illegal oh my god could you imagine this being a legitimate way to stop a burglar breaking in is illegal too it makes no sense everyone's just downvoted why are you booing me i'm right see this is why fake news and stuff spread so easily everyone just wants to live in their own reality what's one of the first things you did when you turned 18 breathe okay but if you were underwater when you turned 18 that would be quite difficult to do sir well no you probably just drowned but still be able to do it technically so damn it you win this time man who loses their baguette logout failed you need to be logged in to log out please log in to log out okay i'm trying to get into the guinness book of records as the oldest man in the world which is taking up a lot of my time my new personal best is 36 when i was born i was the worst person in the world at being the oldest man in the world i've gone up about three billion places i always forget the name of this guy from countdown but every time he's on i absolutely love him you're the nut that started a family tree happy father's day love you don't make references like that but have cute cuddly creatures as the freaking artwork popcorn is a vegetable nice one millinator birthdays are fatal in large dosages oh yeah that's true as well i guess a pregnant woman swimming is a human submarine okay buddy you need to stop with all this truth okay that's enough unicorns are hot rhinos stop it a tennis court on top of a dubai tower okay dubai why i feel like you're just flexing at this point so unnecessarily much it takes a lot of balls to play tennis on that ah brilliant cherry cake doughnuts boneless wait they normally have bones what are you putting in them i thought the crunch was just a flavoring it has been scientifically proven that horse manure protects you from mexican beer virus take the fresh horse manure and rub your hands it has the following actions one it prevents you from bringing your hands to your nose eyes and mouth two people will keep at least two meters away from you and three no one will want to shake your hand four you will safely wash your hands well before going to lunch i swear it works oh it's it's terrible because it's very very true though i'm gonna save some money and not actually go out and buy manure i'm just gonna go produce my own thanks i'll be right back actually i'm gonna get some more i need to lose 15 to 20 pounds in 30 days send me tips legal and legal clean veganism daily exercise plenty of water plenty of sleep and i can't stress this enough cocaine i i can't really say he's wrong because i mean it usually does do that to people so pepsi tastes like soap what kind of freaking soap do you use oh pepsi meanwhile in our slash teenagers i have a common condition where i was born with five fingers on each hand well he's not wrong by saying it's common but the way he's worded it i just feel like i meant to consider it a unique thing i don't know why the lion is the king of the jungle even though he lives in the savannah and has no idea what a monarchy is [Laughter] i always felt this made no sense to me even as a kid where did that statement even originate from was it from that song like the in the jungle the mighty jungle the lion sleeves tonight like that is that are they the culprit someone needs to be held responsible for this fake news he looks like a pee pee but he a puddi every time you look at it it just gets worse do you think if the cat frowns it gets smaller [Laughter] cowboy cow that's a freaking horse oh you ruined it you ruined the fun of it i rewrote history y'all well technically you've just defaced history and then created an alternate history instead that's a bit different actually if anything far more of a creative feat you sir just invented an alternate dimension wow if that ain't a perfect shot i really hope that sign isn't fake that that's a beautiful like positioning 11 year old radio host inspires america with her vision of hope is there anything you can't do see i can imagine the producers just nope out of that question just oh no in a nutshell this is what a wasp's nest looks like as you can see it's in a nutshell i'm not explaining any further i didn't say i had to yupika yay motherflippers we have reached the end of today's video thanks for watching on mk as always it has been a pleasure rambling at your face if you enjoyed today's content make sure you give a like on this video to help the channel out and if you're new to us all hello there sir madam thing person why not join the mk fam and clip that to subscriber button i stuffed up my wording and if you're here as well why not click the notification bell too so you're always updated on our future content we have got a plethora of more videos on the channel for you to check out and other narrators for you to listen to such as robin and lexi both amazing persons but with all that said and done my name is jack you're doing good for yourself and i'll see you next time bye [Music] you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,131,093

Rating: 4.8698797 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth emkay, technicallythetruth, technicallythetruth emkay, reddit truth, truth, reddit puns, dad jokes, puns, emkay technicallythetruth

Id: Oini4uKImQM

Length: 20min 28sec (1228 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 31 2020