r/Technicallythetruth | i suppose so

i slept like a baby last night last night uh oh i crapped my beard [Music] i wanted to make an mk gorill thing but my art is trash so your art is trash come on that's fantastic you want to see my art that's right you don't seriously though you ain't trash i'm the only one on this channel who's trash okay i digress how's it going ladies and gentlemen welcome back to mk i'm your host robin that's right not jack he'll be back don't worry about that today we're going to be taking a look at r slash technically the truth everybody's favorite type of truth as opposed to everybody's least favorite type of truth the inconvenient type without much further ado let's jump right on in what's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze what a shoe okay he deserves all of that you can't spell american dream without eric andre in the middle cheers i'll drink to that bro oh my god i needed that i've seen a lot in my life but never have i seen a man who was armed and unarmed at the same time bacon egg and cheese well you're not wrong i guess how to get the perfect beach body eat loads of sand i am a beach chart to help determine risk of bear attack no risk of bear attack really very high risk of bear attack also no risk of bear attack man we really are not in the perfect spot in the solar system for this are we me making out with girlfriend on the couch her you want to take this to the bedroom all right i'll grab this end you get the other no one binary craft just went from zero to one real fast call me biodegradable because i break down really easily same lauren very much same birthdays are fatal in large dosages who are you who are so wise it is i thomas the tank engine i wasn't hurt too badly the doctor said all my bleeding was internal that's where the blood's supposed to be you're very right bobby has four dimes amy has 30 pennies which child has more money bobby how do you know show your thinking hmm i'm thinking bobby crap and now i'm thinking arby's the average human body contains enough bones to make an entire skeleton the average made a bookshelf for my brick collection oh how nice carrots may be good for your eyes but booze will double your vision nada he's got a point i wouldn't mind any liquid that would make my vision a hundred percent gooder a spoon is just a small bowl on a stick used to eat from a larger bowl yes he's figured it out ladies and gentlemen call the c.i.a man addicted to drinking brake fluid says he can stop any time he wants god i would really hope so after all that a lifelong breathing addiction me just born trying out breathing from the peer pressure of everyone else doing it i'm not going to take a bullet for anyone because if i have time to jump in front of a bullet you have time to move you know you probably just made tons of songs seem completely pointless thanksgiving day after thanksgiving guy who made this calendar no need to thank me 49 divided by 52 is 49 over 52 my calculator no need to thank me i hate cancel culture imagine god canceling you because you did or said the wrong thing the very first bible story is god canceling two people over an apple lmao what stupid god snake ruin and everything can you please comfort my son doctor how often do little kids die from cancer only once hi do you accept children under the age of 2 at the festival no just credit card or cash thank you too much change is not a good thing ask the climate oh there's that inconvenient truth we were talking about instead of all the negative postings here's a pic of some topless chicks and short skirts ooh dang that's what i'm talking about right there i present to you the chili cheese dog oh i get it chill yeah you're funny hey if you want a real good recipe look up the twinkie wiener sandwich you'll thank me later most people think that t-rexes can't clap because they have short arms but really it's because they're all dead what they're all dead in poland we don't say sidewalk we say uh something else and i think it's beautiful i translated that it said freaking uneven cobblestones well that sounds about right i'm not gonna dispute it six year old me one two skip a few 99 100 my classmates crap just went from zero to a hundred really freaking quick why yes it did didn't it for 24 hours all crimes are legal what crimes will you be committing none because they're now legal listen here you little we did it america we flattened the curve more like made a horseshoe me 14 at the grand canyon wow that's really deep good night honey good night dear wait a minute honey can talk wait can deer talk went to visit my aunt who despite suffering from dementia has an intact sense of humor me how have you been her i have no idea why aren't millennials buying diamonds i work at a grocery store yeah and i read reddit posts none of us are buying diamonds anytime soon how in hell do you get dick from richard you ask him nicely or you get a few drinks in him and then he'll just do whatever i guess doctor what happens after we die we clean the bed and admit a new patient technically the truth dear atheists how is it that cavemen survived the asteroid but the dinosaurs didn't social distancing they stayed 65 million years apart man i really wish people at my local taco bell would distance that far from me throwback to when i used to smoke pot and sniff coke thank god i'm a changed man now i feel like snorting coca-cola would be way worse than actually snorting cocaine if someone filmed you unknowingly and you went viral on reddit which subreddit would you most likely have been posted in and why if my mom had read it she'd probably post all my baby footage on r slash kids are freaking stupid i mean no kid is freaking einstein from birth except einstein of course patches 350 you're a genius 50 percent of roger federer's name is er oh my god fear has two meanings forget everything and run or face everything and rise the choice is yours face everything and rise forget everything and run i'm definitely going with forget everything and run every time breaking google buys fitbit for 2.1 million dollars oh bad deal i bought mine for 69.95 yeah whatever serves fitbit right for buying pebble and then shelving it forever you guys suck the flag of norway indonesia poland finland france netherlands thailand flag of czech republic czech republic czech republic czech republic and then czech republic ah whose design is really better than number one describe what is meant by forgetting i can't remember you're a genius you [ __ ] i'm getting flashbacks to third grade my mom always said the nicest things there's only two days in our lifetime that are not 24 hours the day we're born and the day we die i was born exactly at midnight i'm going to kill myself exactly at midnight just to prove you wrong your obituary better say that you lived every day to the fullest anybody want my hand in marriage why would i marry your hand yeah come on little nos i want the whole thing you know what i'm saying always steal a man's wallet not his heart why would you not want his heart it could probably sell for more than what he has in his wallet you better sell it quick they spoil fast people have read it who were once homeless how did you change your life for good getting a home bravo bravo just absolutely inspiring saying shark-infested waters is like saying human infested houses i mean they live there man that's just rude oh no no he's got a point if i said i love you would you say it back of course i love you it back oh that's it you betrayed me for the last time remember kids if you don't sin then jesus died for nothing he's technically correct if i see that god robert downey jr image one more time i am going to jump off a bridge into a canyon i tried committing suicide today never doing that crap again i almost killed myself ah 2013 simpler times you guys remember 2013 seems like a lifetime ago at this point i'm the kindest man alive i'm a popular german chocolate company you're clearly cow shut up this is the most cutest interpretation of child labor yeah anime tends to do that a lot if you have one lasagna and you stack another lasagna on top you still have one lasagna just one that's at least twice as good as the original when you were starting out i wish we could use laughing emojis in real life or you know you could just laugh hey dad can i use the lawnmower to make some extra money you sure can son for sale wonder how much he's getting out of it though you gotta drive a hard bargain kid where did her leg go oh man it was 1973. she was on the front lines the vanguard if you will a mortar came out of left field she never saw it coming she woke up a day later in the hospital set up in a ripped tent rain pouring outside distant gunfire being heard she realized it was gone really is a sad story guys you all right next post when sweden is playing denmark it's swee versus den the remaining letters that are not used are den mark oh that is just brilliant no liquids are allowed on board okay enjoy your flight fools sixty percent of my body is liquid tricky tony one tsa zero can you change my car out for something a little more expensive thank you this should do it oh man is that a basket of student loans daddy why is that book so thick it's a long story well i would hope it's a long story if it's that thick dad carl why do you still work as a mailman on such a low salary it's not about the money it's about sending a message and look at that crap eating grin i want to punch this guy donuts are healthier than crystal meth is that right hey is that true if it is my entire life just changed when she tells you she's not into middle-aged guys ah don't worry shrug it off my man you'll find somebody capable is my middle name i thought your middle name was the oh yeah it is isn't it god this is a great show minecraft java edition more than 500 sold well technically they're not wrong how many copies in total are they at now uh oh 200 million highest selling video game of all time yeah i would say more than 500 is kind of accurate air and space museum i get it because it's full of air and there's plenty of space neurosurgeon can change my oh son of a that one got me i hate you jesus promised to rid the world of sin we still have sin odin promised to rid the world of the ice giants have you seen any ice giants lately guys i think harry is on to something jesus is just like every other politician fake promises left and right odin he's our salvation what's your favorite paradox if you ask rick astley for his copy of the movie up then he cannot give it to you as he will never give you up however in doing so he lets you down thus creating the astley paradox oh my god a penny saved is a penny saved uh yeah you're right what the hell league of legends was playing league of legends congratulations you played yourself thought this plywood looks weird and then got closer it's printer paper and scotch tape illusion 100 with the amount of ink they used they could have bought a hundred sheets of plywood it's actually just really thin plywood happy 10th birthday son here's a rat now go into the woods and fight some strangers and don't come back until you've explored the whole continent this is basically the plot of pokemon people all asians look the same russian presidents for the last 20 years oh my god they really do look very similar don't they the shortest war in history was the anglo-zanzibar war of 1896 it lasted 38 minutes how did it happen quickly thank you since elon musk is from south africa that means he's the richest african-american now that is technically the truth if i've ever seen it in its purest form what is this wrong answers only it's an old-school roomba pull the pin and it cleans everything in a 50-foot radius and it does it really fast too i love the way the earth rotates it really makes my day guys i'm starting to get mad i was throwing out ten thousand magic cards and the bag ripped lol magic the scattering yeah i wouldn't even bother cleaning that up i just light everything on fire that's gonna take days also did you really just have ten thousand loose cards in like some kind of walmart bag from a year ago cause most people that have this many have them in a box or a chest or dozens of binders 2d girls might be cute but front view side view oh man there are no curves at all normal human female on tick-tock bro that's not a normal human that's a skeleton please tell me it's not alive i can't handle living skeletons surgery is just stabbing someone to life in a very slow meticulous way elijah star wars the force awakens an interracial couple gets chased by a man with a burning cross oh i do not like looking at it that way kitkat celebrates gay month by releasing a new kitkat with no straight lines i think they meant no parallel lines because those are still straight also gay month look i'm not completely gay or completely cognizant of all of these different months that we celebrate but game gorillas don't know any bodybuilding techniques so we've probably never seen one at full strength you know dang well there's a pharmaceutical company out there trying to figure this one out right now the inventor of the super soaker circa early 1980s he's a redditor i certainly am you've single-handedly filled many summer days with hours of entertainment well i had to use both hands most wow facts says you're more likely to be killed by a cow than a shark not if you're swimming see john that's where you're wrong what's your biggest let's never talk about this again moment i would but i'll never talk about it again ah that's a good boy or woman good person you're a good person what in tarnation i freaking hate you yeah you know what i hate dylan too if you don't have a need for one don't get it tattoos are for something important oh mom you should have known you walked right into it also tattoos are for something important what justin timberlake timber just in lake a normal conversation you can spell tony as tony no no no that's toenae nay like a horse grand theft auto six trailer you son of a you're gonna earn a subscriber from me dude who said two things are infinite the universe and human stupidity and i'm not sure about the universe you did just there oh yeah why does venice look like patrick needing water hey quit asking questions you shut your mouth and will let you live what did your parents teach you that you would never teach your children how to rewind the vhs i'm gonna do it out of spite for this post now if i ever have kids that i didn't steal mike wazowski has two eyes whoa would you look at that the name certainly does when dew is on the grass rain will never come to pass when dew is on the grass expect a wet if you replace the w and when where and what with tea you get their answers every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough oh don't i know that to be the truth god oh ladies and gents do you hear that that's a fat lady singing that's right we've come to the end of another video always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed this one consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed it well then consider subscribing and clicking that bell icon really helps us out and until next time i'll be seeing you you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,172,368

Rating: 4.9410143 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth emkay, technicallythetruth, technicallythetruth emkay, reddit truth, truth, reddit puns, dad jokes, puns, emkay technicallythetruth

Id: Easpo2wjwaU

Length: 16min 55sec (1015 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 31 2020