r/Technicallythetruth | aka

defend your answer answer sarge i don't know how much longer we can hold him the teacher you weren't supposed to do that yeah but are you gonna give me the points anyway like you should [Music] how's it going ladies and gentlemen welcome back to mk i'm your host robin don't say it i swear to god i will cry and today we're going to be taking another look at our slash technically the truth you know the one where the best kind of truth reigns supreme let's get right to it which actor crushed a role so hard that nobody else will be able to live up to it john malkovich in being john malkovich he did do a pretty good job at being john malkovich if a guy is addicted to masturbating but then gets addicted to sex it's fair to say his addiction got out of hand shut up aka is also known as also known as don't do this to me please not today if you put alaska on top of the continental united states a lot of people would die well we could flip it over and pop it somewhere else if you'd rather those people die i mean we have to put alaska somewhere someone's gotta die a man bought 12 flowers 11 real and one fake he said i will love you until the last flower dies like if you like it the fake one was never alive can hearts physically cry and i mean these emojis i think that's called internal bleeding i'm not sure exactly what the doctors call it i just know that it's not good boneless chicken 35 cents that actually doesn't seem too bad boiled egg for 35 cents dude sign me up for like eight two identical boobs can also be called identities ah okay i'm liking where we're going this time in the 1990s a california man steve komisar began putting ads in national magazines selling solar-powered dryers for 50 bucks customers would then receive a simple clothesline in the mail well you may as well use it at that point you paid 50 bucks for it go to college and be poor skip college and be poor millennials oh man gen z2 at this point why do you think it's going to change before they all start getting out a condom would have prevented this post hey wait a minute come on i stopped the woman from getting kidnapped today really how ah self-control oh is this just the alternate timeline where buffalo bill goes and gets a regular job on wall street or something maybe he's a cop now serious question here has anyone ever found a friend through twitter and actually met up with them does my wife count if she can do basic math then i'm sure she counts well i don't know bonk hasn't responded yet also i can answer this question i have quite a few actually me is it a crime to throw sodium chloride in your enemy's eyes judge yes that's assault me i know it's assault but is it a crime look the fact that the judge hasn't answered or responded at all is making me a little nervous this did make me chuckle can you cure her of course the curing room oh is that how the show's gonna end spoilers and whom do i have the pleasure of speaking with david and how are you david not really sure my parents named me that oh we got a wise guy probably a dad grab the nearest book flip to page 69 and read the seventh word that is how you die what's the reason for death death well that's true stop or you gay i can live with that stop or you die can't live with that now can you oh shoot they're right you've got my balls and a vice yeah and i know what you're thinking oh yes i have a vice first day as a bartender customer i'll have a martini dry me staring at all the liquid ingredients i don't know how to tell you this people who were once blind and had now gained their sight what was that experience like for you well it was a pretty eye opening experience oh [ __ ] off and take my up dude oh ew how old is this mofo said up dude bro you know someone is beyond help when they say up dude or when does the narwhal bacon aerial photo of arizona from an altitude of four feet i only see two feet shoot you got him bro fist bump this farmer isn't just good at his job he's outstanding in his field is that all we get to learn about the farmer or do we have a cool story coming up 2020 president donald trump joe biden kanye albert albert what would you do to save the world from hunger food oh guys we missed out are you kidding me nothing here just animals turned into food yummy i've never wanted a banana more in my life half air half water technically the glass is always full oh you're one of those guys all right boys let's kick his ass wanted to hold a kilogram before buying a coin it was heavier than i thought i would guess to be about a thousand grams okay you silly you will not die at the hands of quicksand ask me how i know this uh please how do you know this quicksand does not have any hands listen here you can't spell hero without her you can't spell her without he oh god no no no we're not doing this hi james could you please make me a real superhero i'd love it sure oh look at that you're a true hero now my friend i'm 14 and this is deep please send help 14 year old fell into a deep hole next to his house oh shoot timmy stuck in the earth i mean don't get me wrong i know that a well is also in the earth but it was on purpose blind people have read it what do you find physically attractive and a partner somebody asked my blind friend if his girlfriend was hot he pondered for a moment replied i don't know oh i bet that made her laugh though come on billy the sexy redneck that's a good one what do you order the most when you stop by the ice cream truck or ice cream shop ice cream if jeff bezos really wanted to mess with the world he could come back down from space and declare that he has seen firsthand that the world is flat if jeff bezos really wanted to mess with the world he would just continue doing what he's doing yeah i'm really tired of jeff bezos jokes because that [ __ ] needs to start helping oh but thank god he gets to go into space i can't wait for him to give us another [ __ ] speech just like that last douchebag did yeah i'm talking to you branson lemonade oh [ __ ] it is look some of these are just good okay you got me did you go to the liquid zoo where you can walk inside you mean aquarium yes it's a freaking aquarium not a liquid zoo we don't really know what the hell they are i went to the denver aquarium a few months ago and there were tigers in there my dad bought 15 mangoes and didn't tell my mom so she bought 10 mangoes and now we're the people from the math problems i wonder what happens to the family after you solve the equation they realize how many mangoes they have i mean what kind of stupid idea is that all right everybody in the comments this is your call to action i want you to tell me how many mangoes these guys are gonna be left over if they give me 40 of them what would happen if americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight i don't know there would be mass confusion oh you how old are these two look no seriously this panel has got to be old enough that dog probably isn't alive anymore what is your one in a million story i once wised a random number generator between one and a million and the number i got was 382 9227 the odds of that happening were only one in a million every naked person i see turns me on yeah lucky you man come on online dating in the 1920s how about you shut up man i hate you the technically the truth is mainly dad jokes you remember that time when mom and dad got into a big fight because he called her the mother of all disappointments vividly he never insulted her like that i just realized something he wasn't insulting her holy [ __ ] yeah took me 30 years to figure that one out which only reinforces his point if you think about it what gives people power money status the mitochondria so funny how that's one of the few things from school people legitimately remember omg if baby oil dissolves condoms what the [ __ ] does it do to babies this may be shocking but babies and condoms are made of different material it's like rock paper scissors baby oil defeats condom baby defeats baby oil condom defeats baby rock also defeats baby this is very true although i have not verified it yet anna meet my family they're rocks yeah there's not a single vin diesel in there how the hell do you pronounce rofl r-o-f-l oh thank you thank you so much it's rofl it's rofl you can't believe someone rubbed one off in the elevator oh man technically we're all time travelers we just moved through time really slow i'd say it's an average of about one second per second hey that math checks out does it alright everybody in the comments i'm calling on you one more time can you verify these readings hi how can i help you how many seconds are there in one year 12 of them january 2nd february 2nd march 2nd april 2nd may 2nd june 2nd july 2nd august 2nd september 2nd october 2nd november 2nd and december 2nd does that answer your question smith yes sir i didn't see you at the camouflage practice today thank you sir how many people are in your house six can i come in and see no because then there'd be seven do you not get this how would you put i'm a pokemon trainer on your resume i kidnap wild animals and shove them in my balls and then you force them to fight right shark that killed new york city woman confirmed as great white and it's still out there lmfao was it supposed to turn itself in yeah as a chef everything you touch turns to [ __ ] yeah but some of it's really really really good first okay has tick tock ever helped you financially yes instead of shopping on amazon i've spent hours on tick tock well i guess that's one way that it actually may have helped yeah for sure my first day as a pilot air traffic control flight 417 please confirm your location over me this is flight 417 we are in the sky over my son keeps eating ice cubes out of the freezer talking about it's like a snack of water i mean it's hot outside so it'll cool you off it's made of water so it'll hydrate you i don't see the problem with his logic here at all rescued this little guy from getting run over anybody know what it is uh thanks for all those replying snake vegetables sports ways to die squash girls are like strawberries sometimes they're in the grocery store oh thank god i didn't know where you were going with that but i'm glad it didn't go the way i was initially thinking i usually sit on the computer 12 hours a day is that bad well that can't be comfortable try a chair who you who are so wise in the ways of science 15 plus 15 is 30 and 16 plus 16 is 32 he's out of line but he's right dang it mathematicians in the comments now my daddy does sell banana behold a tired elephant yo that's actually sick as hell though my three-year-old asked how long he had to wait until he could stop listening to me i told him he had to listen to me for the rest of his life he looked me dead in the eyes and said i'll listen to you for the rest of your life toddlers are cold-blooded man you're different you probably say that to every girl yeah but it's your turn to hear it now so like you know vacuum town one day you'll run the family business but dad vacuums suck that's my boy so i met a cute guy at the bar last night danced with him says he doesn't have a girlfriend we exchange snapchats look him up on facebook and he doesn't have a girlfriend he has a wife oh the shittiest lowest kind of technical truth my male friend told me he'd rather go for a girl in a relationship cause he'd only be up against one other boy but if she was single he'd be up against 20. scary ain't saying he's right but he ain't wrong either when i was young i was poor but after years of hard work i am no longer young you don't really have to work that oh yeah you do that's shoot yeah damn man and just like that we've come to the end of another video ladies and gents before we get going though why don't we take a look at today's fan art huh why don't we do that all right first time making mk fan art not that good hey hey look at me look at me right now you stopped that you stopped that would be not that good don't say that about my friend always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed today's video consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed it well then make sure to get yourself subscribed and click that bell icon and if you're feeling super generous why not check out my links in the description down below i have a serious addiction to twitter and the more followers the better for my hunger pains

Channel: EmKay

Views: 296,934

Rating: 4.9731002 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, Technicallythetruth

Id: 8bD--mwXvn4

Length: 12min 23sec (743 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 10 2021