r/Technicallythetruth | WE LIVE IN A TV SHOW

memories oh oh I see that type ok whatever then nerd hey what's up everyone welcome back to MI name is Robin and today I'm gonna be looking into our slash technically the truth oh god let's get started tradition peer pressure from dead people yeah okay I guess being alive is more dangerous than being dead again very true stop saying she's my wife that sexist AF period hello everyone meet Lorraine she's the woman I screwed on the night of my wedding I would literally die if a guy did this to me same the average 18 year old is 18 and a half years old I mean I guess the invention of knocking I'm gonna punch your house until you talk to me I feel like that's the exact thought that went through that person said long yellow things when you just couldn't remember what the name of the fruit was I mean me personally I would have called him long minions but eh that's just me if a woman sleeps with ten men she's a [ __ ] but if a man does it he's gay he's gay I couldn't agree with that 2002 GMC Sonoma pickup nine hundred fifty bucks not bad is this still available yes are you flexible at all yeah I can touch my toe is it drinking alone if you're pregnant it is if you keep drinking oh dear God my toddler was about to hit her head on a bar at the playground so I told her to duck and she cracked at me and then hit her head it sounds a lot like Zach honestly humans use flashlights to navigate in the dark cats use well-built eyes bats oh oh I see life is an egg explain has chickens in it sometimes okay thanks pissy jorts when is Tuesday well you can imagine my surprise when I found out that Tuesday was indeed on Tuesday electricity consumption in Europe in 1507 oh wow they really didn't use a lot back then did they you live in the United States this isn't Japan shut up that's the second most German thing I ever saw what's the first most German thing you ever saw Germany understandable yeah okay Bobby has four times amy has 30 pennies which child has more money Bobby okay he's got that how do you know show your thinking oh wow he is thinking pretty hard there technically speaking this was the least diverse movie recently made oh don't even open up that can of worms man Alice places a prepared slide on her microscope but when she looks into it she can't see anything suggest one reason why not she's blind it's hard to argue with his assessment more reasons to avoid water can be extracted from rocket fuel is the main ingredient in pesticides 100% of violent criminals have consumed water in the hours leading up to their crimes is the number one cause of drowning excess consumption will cause sweating urination and possibly death 100 percent of people exposed to water will die doctor Enderlin veterinarian and taxidermist either way you get your dog back oh no that is not exactly the way I'd want to look at it everyone is tried to move something with their mind at least once in their lives I can move most of my body parts with my mind oh look at mr. talented over here showing off if this virus not done by May I'm gonna have to intervene what are you gonna do intervene I suppose my man draw a small clock that shows 10 minutes past 11:00 okay Memorial Baptist Church honk if you love Jesus text while driving if you want to meet him today number 1 all fungi are edible number 2 some fungi are only edible once there are quite a few things that are only edible once for instance my leftover Taco Bell only one time are you gonna get away with that guys I'm just kidding I never have leftover Taco Bell study finds every style of parenting produces disturbed miserable adults well auntie VAX parents have it right then you can't be a miserable adult if you don't become an adult Oh God vaccines cause more onion articles why do programmers prefer dark mode because light attracts bugs shut up what's on May 4th Monday May 4th when I was a kid I thought vegetarian and lesbian was the same thing well both lifestyles do lack meat yeah except pastrami hates the rolls are just Italian gushers why would you say something so controversial and yet so brave and true as Alfred once said some men want to watch the world burn who are these men in real life arsonists now you got me there these updates to this game have changed the game yeah that's how updates work at least I'd hope so and for my next trick I will disappear screw you pear you taste like crap Oh got him you can't buy an unused mirror now he's got a fight if I punch myself and it hurts am i weak or strong a strong weak an idiot no that guy's got the right idea one look at Medusa and I'm rock-hard that's why you got a stare lower than her eye level you know what I mean like right it I'd say teeth level and you'll be fine when your name causes confusion hello I'm Tina with two eyes well I'm David with two ears I'd hope so David my own fee up siga Soros spent one to two hours on this I'm nine years old what's a nine-year-old doing on reddit sharing his awesome dinosaur sketches well that much is clear even if you're like me and you can't pronounce the name because you're dumb number eight also remember the ABC rule of first aid a bone coming out through the skin is very bad have 100 years of extreme hairstyles by Vanity Fair I can't believe it took a hundred years to make this video I know right and it's really showing what Disney character has the highest body count vanos this is true oh my god it really is isn't it somewhere out there there's a rock that more people have looked at than any other rock we'll never know what that rock is but it exists the moon I can't believe anybody would forget our good friends the moon I mean come on we see him every night he's our best friend don't look at him don't look at the moon both sexes can screw a Pringles can but neither can do it well take my up boat behold the Pokemon fan base I'd see what you did there shut up I found a coupon that gives you $5 off at any store well he's absolutely not wrong Bill Gates the only youtuber that can buy YouTube why buy youtube if you can get an app store slash Play Store for free what it's wife we just ate why are you making pancakes me they're for the dogs why are you making pancakes for the dogs they don't know how well clearly he's incredibly correct and if your dog knows how to make pancakes maybe you should look into that a little bit more than oh wow he can make pancakes I replayed this song like a million times already oh god bill you did the math I feel like this post belongs on they did the math rather than technically the truth even though it is technically the truth how would you write I changed a light bulb on your resume i single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of a new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents ah man I love resume padding bike still for sale yes it is what's the lowest you'll go on it two miles per hour anything less than that and you'll tip over would you eat six donuts oh my honestly my takeaway from this chart is that donuts are healthier than I thought that is very true we drink things significantly worse every day I'd really like to hear the reasoning behind women who won't take their husband's last name because my last name is best and mine is worst I'm sorry Nick Danielle I recently broke up with my boyfriend because he didn't know how I liked my coffee I like my coffee the same way I like my men without other people's vagina in it whoa oh oh wait in it Adam and Eve sin God your game mode has been updated to survival mode oh ho that's one way of looking at it I suppose a man hurled racist slurs and a punch at a FedEx driver then died after he was punched back dang he sent him to God same days shipping Thanks FedEx this isn't what I expected when I bought the tickets holy crap that's something I would pay to see no problem take me underneath the Sleeping Beauty Castle in Disneyland and let me see that frozen body my daughter just asked r2d2 was there for the whole story and never had his memory wipes so why didn't he just tell Luke that Vader was his father at some point I just sat there dumbfounded until he shrugged and walked away amen sometimes it's okay to forget about plot holes and just go on with your fricking life my dog passed away today it seems like an appropriate reaction what holy crap that sucks man I'm going to deliver the baby actually we'd like him to keep his liver don't worry he'll be jens e which means he won't be keeping it for long anyway by asking rick astley to hand you a copy of the movie up you create a paradox whereas he either has to give you up or let you down no God please no a Firefly is the opposite of a waterfall holy crap that one's getting to me a little bit condoms don't really guarantee full protection during sex a friend of mine was wearing one and he got shot by the girl's boyfriend well come on man there were only like 98 percent effective after all how my family sees me how I see my family oh no I get it blow my mind mm your age is just the number of times you've gone around the Sun yes that is indeed how we calculate time here the nineties summed up in one picture oh you are such a little smartass the jug is 4/7 full it needs 72 milliliters more to be full how much water can the jug hold in total well he's absolutely correct archaeologists grave robber with a degree Indiana Jones would like a word if you ride a Segway naked on the freeway for long enough you get to be on TV there are a lot of things you get to be on TV for if you do them long enough mr. shaming x' am I saying that right god I hope so but my point still stands anyone caught exiting through this door will be asked to leave hold up hi James my boyfriend is a fan Mohammed Ali could you make him as a boxer thank you sure he did what he was asked okay seriously that guy's the Amelia Bedelia of Photoshop is this good for wasps no it kills them thank God that's what we're looking for here stay off the tracks they're only four trains if you can read this you're not a train well thanks for crushing my dreams world's fastest gaming PC fastest how exactly if someone that loves all races equally including their own is not racist then someone who hates all races equally including their own is also not racist oh god I did not need to read that today for 24 hours all crimes are legal what crimes will you be committing none because they're now legal listen here you little [ __ ] since James Bond constantly introduces himself he'd probably be a terrible spy well from what I remember James Bond isn't actually his name God dang it it's Terry Terry Susan I think I'm just kidding I have no idea I made all that up that's a nice ham you got there be a shame if someone put an s in front of it and an e behind it oh I hate you it's blunt the person in front of you is also the person farthest behind you oh wow all UFO images are low-quality because if they were high quality we would have identified the flying object and it would no longer be unidentified travel plans in 2020 be like expectations reality I'm sorry but I'll take either one of those after the past couple months we've had okay me and Quarantine like is tomorrow Sunday or Jew teacher what's more abundant land or water me obviously landmass actually water is far more abundant as it covers 71% of earth but there's still more land under the water yeah this is big brain what's the main reason for divorce getting married yeah you're right it seems to run on some form of electricity well you're not wrong no now he's not he's very observant as what he is also in handsome your alarm sound is technically your theme song since it plays at the start of every episode Wow then we all have absolutely horrible theme songs also we all seem to have incredibly similar ones too I just worry that it makes me look middle-aged I can see why you'd think that way but hey at least you're better defended ah someone's a smart aleck I see a student teacher works like a charm the best strategy for defeating enemies is to reduce their health to zero while maintaining your own health above zero I have only just recently learned this while playing Resident Evil 4 it's insane you just follow this one simple trick and you'll win every time please I'll give you head lmao I already have a head you freaking [ __ ] can we uninstall 2020 and install it again this version has a virus thank you I really appreciate IT jokes from churches of all things what really brings out the child in me a miscarriage oh god that is not what I was expecting to see warning tearing this tag off will result in you not having this tag anymore oh shoot I want that tag both concrete and glass are mostly made of sand which makes buildings just massive sandcastles dude this is a Wendy's I'm sorry your dad was pronounced dead I can't believe I've been saying it wrong all these years lazy person facts seven million eight hundred and forty nine thousand three hundred and sixty-seven you were too lazy to read that number no I wasn't shut up what has four letters sometimes nine letters but never has five letters that died I'm just gonna move on to the next post I'm stupid well gotta go I gotta go clock in I said at work in front of a computer all day just to afford to sit at home in front of a computer all night well at night we get a look at things that we're not allowed to look at during the day now aren't we I'd say it's worth it in my opinion based on what I've seen and by what I've seen I mean Zacks only fans run run as administrator' wake up after a night of drinking Oh yikes no charge it's on the house what's worth every penny a dollar I guess people who sell meat are gross but people who sell fruit and vegetables are grosser on a scale from sloth to cheetah how fast can you run human now that puts it into perspective how do you think we keep the cars here so shiny polish sorry sir Oh Oh God dang it a baguette in the butt would be a pain in the ass I'm unlearning French a bat photobombed my moon venus pick yolibeth photobombed my hole 2020 same dude you can fly but only straight down what are you gonna call it gravity it takes 30 minutes to cross what would it take for you to walk across this whole bridge 30 minutes well for me it would probably take at least four hours glasses make you look smarter but you have to fail a test to get them yeah that's right if you need glasses you're actually stupid my first day is a crime scene investigator detective how did this man drown well he couldn't breathe underwater most of us can the use of the term anti-vaxxer suddenly becomes illegal what do you call them instead idiots that's a good word to default to karate is just professional slapping yeah I don't know about that one chief the youngest picture of you is the oldest picture of you Oh Oh Lord nursery rhymes with Justin Fletcher no it doesn't cut Emma tell me something I don't know the word nun is just the letter n doing a cartwheel have you seen him now you have that's right I certainly have if Cowboys had to social distance that means that the town wasn't big enough for the two of them I see the only people in town putting on proper protective material or them bandits husband and I reminiscing about the time I texted him on the way home can you start cooking those sausages then added this as a cute little heart he cooked two sausages no one literally no one oh yeah it is gone that is absolutely true there is no one the rotation of Earth really makes my day no no I understand it that's that's genius just testing the strength of my countertop don't mind me be careful not to fall into the sink what would I do without you fall into the sink well shucks we all hope that doesn't happen two friends hugging each other in 2020 got to keep that 40 foot distance you know in technical terms Moses was the first to download data from the cloud to a tablet oh god I'd all shot up lol one time my grandfather said that depression was all in my head and I said yeah and asthma's all in your lungs I got grounded for a month worth it definitely worth it if you wish to make an apple pie from scratch you must first invent the universe why Hey look it's a teacup what it's living up to its name it's also quite cheap this was my first car too until I met a deer going 80 miles an hour that's a pretty fast deer fun fact deer can jump higher than a house this is due to two main reasons number one house this can't jump and number two deer can WTF well in that case what's wrong shaggy and scooby always run away side by side when fleeing in terror from a monster if a great danes running speed is 30 to 40 miles an hour that means shaggy can run at the same speed this means that shaggy is the fastest human alive beating Usain Bolt's top speed of 27 miles per hour nothing oh oh I see that's actually incredibly impressive to me I wouldn't be disappointed by that at all I'd just be blown away motivate your answer go answer go and with that we have come to the end of today's episode always remember if you enjoyed this video definitely hit the like button down below and hey if you really enjoyed the video make sure to subscribe and click the bell icon I mean come on you know you wanna and until next time we meet I'll be seeing ya [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 2,790,982

Rating: 4.9437456 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth emkay, technicallythetruth, technicallythetruth emkay, reddit truth, truth, reddit puns, dad jokes, puns, emkay technicallythetruth

Id: VlxPlVhRAOI

Length: 19min 48sec (1188 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 05 2020