r/Technicallythetruth | DON'T CUT IT!!

cargo space car no do that cargo road why use lot word when few words do trick [Music] hey what's up ladies and gentlemen welcome back to mk i'm your host robin and today we're going to be taking another look at r technically the truth where the best kind of truth reigns supreme alright without much further ado let's get right into the meat of the video shall we hi how can i help how many seconds are there in one year 12 of them january 2nd february 2nd march 2nd april 2nd may 2nd june 2nd july 2nd august 2nd september 2nd october 2nd november 2nd and december 2nd well you're not wrong i completed 14 years of alcohol sobriety wow congrats man inspirational i'm 14. you are technically correct the best kind to correct hey look an alien this is my planet so you're the freaking alien here really that's where you live you live like this dude do you think spiders could get arachnophobia that's called social anxiety oh good to see that spiders can suffer from the same things we can i wonder if they're just as scared of themselves as we are of them could you please go shopping and buy one jug of milk and if they have avocados get six one hour later they had avocados you stole that i woke up i dated him i kissed him i loved him now read it backwards why don't humans have a specific noise that means there are bees here let's leave immediately why are elephants more advanced than us we do have a specific noise it sounds like this there are bees here let's leave immediately yeah we evolved languages for a reason do you think elephants have noises for you're stupid no but we do sounds like this you're stupid i'm trying to get into the guinness book of world records as the oldest man in the world which is taking up a lot of my time my new personal best 36 when i was born i was the worst person in the world at being the oldest man in the world i've gone up about 3 billion places and that is serious improvement i want to start reading again any recommendations books the sentence are you as bored as i am can be said backwards and still make sense are you as bored as i am am i as bored as you are ma i saw dear rob i i can't keep reading things backwards man come on if i ordered bottomless fries as my last meal before being put to death then i could technically avoid the death penalty yes so long as you can keep eating me one piece of cake won't hurt the cake fat i think that's a sign no it's a cake you win this round cheese actually that is a rectangle cheese so what's your idea of a perfect date just like this i find other formats a bit confusing brain flip your pillow me why brain be a lot cooler if you did a shark could swim faster than me but i could probably run faster than a shark so in a triathlon it would all come down to who is the better cyclist thank you now i'm imagining a great white on a bike defend your answer sarge i don't know how much longer we can hold him you better have given that kid points for the question i mean come on that's cute one time that's cute who else hates it when someone knocks over your dominoes ah you ruined the already ruined pizza i'm just kidding i love dominoes every single thing that exists in this infinite universe is either a duck or not a duck oh i'm not a duck they're right hey people who know astrology i've been having a lot of feelings lately any planets i can blame that on earth you can always blame earth what did adam say the night before christmas it's christmas eve found a paper i wrote in fifth grade that i got an f on my prompt was imagine you're sitting on a cloud what would you do or see i wrote i would see the ground as i fell because i would fall through it because in science you told us that clouds were just water mists teachers do not like it when you call back to things they taught you they really don't sorry bro no firearms allowed inside how different elements produce different colored fireworks barium cesium magnesium sodium uranium copper yeah yeah breaking google buys fitbit for 2.1 billion dollars oh bad deal i bought mine for 69.95 i'm making friends are you are you really making friends you can be honest with us we're the internet we won't judge you brownie face turn that brown upside down okay listen here you little sh can you come out yeah give me a minute mom i'm gay i know that silly come out to the car car i'm gay you wouldn't hit a guy with glasses would you you hit a guy with glasses well played oh i'm king candy or should i say turbo oh yeah i'm not gonna keep doing it let's move on what's your secret for always staying down to earth well i mean gravity the third hand on the clock is also the second hand sir this is a wendy's how i look in the mirror how i look in real life well look at you you handsome wrinkled devil the correct way to spell hats is hats because it's all caps at a coveted testing site wearing masks handing over paperwork for me and two of my kids woman looking over papers okay anthony keegan and cadence hawk are you guys related to tony hawk me yes are you pulling my leg no we are all directly related to him i don't know why this happens to tony hawk he's not that unrecognizable i would recognize tony hawk mask or not what's wrong with you people when your girlfriend leaves a note on the fridge saying this isn't working and you open it but it still works woman finds out blood donor who saved her life 11 years ago turned out to be her husband wow he was already inside her before their first date ah there it is a gross comment first thing jesus loves you i'm sure he says that to all the girls yeah jesus what's your problem man comedian caught releasing laughing gas on his show arrested the audience after listening to his bad jokes on the show well that's the first time i've ever heard of a comedian trying that huh it's actually quite clever if it wasn't highly illegal hey that's just a regular saber why don't you try holding it doesn't weigh much i guess you could call it a light saber good good let the hate flow through you ah restaurant yes i would like to go to restaurant please and have food restaurant food oh boy r slash gaming this should be fun are we allowed to post adult links [Laughter] it's so funny cause his name is link what do you want to be when you grow up i want to be michael jordan when i grow up what do you need to do to achieve your dreams step one get bigger step two shave my head step three be black at least one of those is realistic when she tells you she's not into middle-aged guys ah chin up my guy you'll get your chance soon enough united states of america in god we trust money a big part of the story is lost when it becomes a movie a big part of the story is lost when you cut a freaking circle out of it dude yeah that's a terrible visual metaphor everyone i've ever loved is here within these walls false your parents are at the bottom of the ocean get the facebook crap out of here kamikaze instructors be like watch carefully i'm only going to do this once [Laughter] oh no what did i sign up for how many horses are in this photo there's definitely more than one hold on let me see if i can count them one two three four five six seven eight nine uh ten eleven twelve one i'm not gonna lie to you i lost count a while ago one of those people please elaborate a singular person belonging to that specific group may you expand upon the previous statement one sole member of the human race whose words mannerisms actions or opinions render them identifiable as a constituent to a party of two or more individuals amongst whom those defining characteristics are shared wow no pills no exercise in only one month you can do it too register now for photoshop courses the best tool to change your body i think i broke my leg in two places you should probably stop going to those places but what if they're fun did you know the pool on the titanic is still filled with water man i don't think the pool on the titanic exists anymore i think it's mostly gone now it's a citation for violating the neighborhood noise ordinance paper beats rock once again i was wondering if spider-man's spider sense is based on an actual thing spiders can do so i googled can spiders sense danger and the national wildlife federation treated me like the dumb ass i am spider sense spider-man is able to sense danger lurking near the warning signal coming as a pain in his head that varies with the intensity of the threat spiders can detect danger coming their way with an early warning system called eyes [Laughter] i hereby find you guilty of click baiting what happens next will shock you damn he waited a long time for that punchline cvs pharmacy don't wait get shot today you can get it for free if you're still in school man school's been out for so long here the nra went bankrupt technically simon says doesn't end until simon says simon says game is over so people are still playing simon says from when they were children jake no what pleases you in bed sleep yeah that's got to be the best thing you can do in bed let's all be honest with each other i grabbed this bulkhead as chorizo made of soy i thought it was saying i am chorizo in spanish how'd that work out for you bud huh covered in spiders man where can i get one i would legitimately love an obvious plant figurine stranger suicide is not the answer you it is sometimes for example if someone said what is it called when you kill yourself you are a comedic genius you son of a [ __ ] a surgeon a plastic surgeon most people who hate pineapple on pizza have never tried pineapple on pizza tried it not my cup of tea that's because it's pizza not tea covered 19 has killed 1.6 million people in the world and you are alive use a few seconds to thank god amen amen amen thanks for killing 1.6 million people pizza delivery men of reddit has anyone ever ordered extra sausage and if so what was your experience we put extra sausage on the pizza the heck do you think man an old bad tweet can be more harmful to a celebrity's career than vehicular manslaughter depends on which end of the vehicle said celebrity is on it's difficult to argue with your assessment it is harry there's someone watching us oh god that would freak me out just imagine if you will actually breaking the fourth wall on the movie that is your life you look to your right and you see a theater watching you whales are bigger than literally every single thing in the universe that is smaller than a whale um yes where can i unsubscribe from whale facts i found them the frosted mega wheats oh man i would love a mega wheat i'm really tired of the mini ones that's going to look stupid in 60 million years i wonder where we're all gonna be in 60 million years oh right dead we're we're all gonna be dead yeah never mind and just like that ladies and gents we've come to the end of another video decided to make some fan art oh you just casually decided to make something that looks that incredible okay i see how it is trying to make me look bad huh always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed this video consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed it well then consider getting yourself subscribed and clicking that bell icon and if you're feeling extra adventurous why not seek out my channel here on the sub box on mk i've started to make some new content recently and i would sure love it if you could drop by and give me some support if not like i've always said i might just cry alright before i ramble on any further i'll be seeing you folks

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,294,220

Rating: 4.9540782 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth emkay, technicallythetruth, technicallythetruth emkay, reddit truth, truth, reddit puns, dad jokes, puns, emkay technicallythetruth

Id: s5e5tg-ZvHQ

Length: 11min 58sec (718 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 06 2021