r/Technicallythetruth | get it?

a tree house is the biggest insult to a tree here i killed your friend hold him just hold his carcass for me his deformed body parts [Music] how's it going ladies and gentlemen welcome back to mk i'm your host robin and today we're going to be taking a look at r technically the truth let's see how technical these truths really are god dang it that makes no sense let's get in there there is no biblical evidence that jesus even knew how to parallel park letting him take the wheel seems a bit irresponsible uh no you're so wrong everybody knows that jesus drove a honda but he didn't like to talk about it from john 12 49 for i do not speak of my own accord shut up you're not scared of being alone in the dark you're scared of not being alone in the dark that's correct i'm very scared of that if you did it when you're drunk you wanted to do it sober i'm pretty sure i didn't want to sleep outside in a wheelbarrow all night but alright i've decided on a new constellation i call it the bees if you look up at the night sky and see all those sparkly dots congratulations you see the bees i've just made astrology ten thousand times easier you're welcome those born under the sign of the bees have emotions think thoughts is likely introverted or extroverted has at least a few friends and was born at some point if it wasn't for the uk france switzerland italy montenegro albania north macedonia greece turkey lebanon syria jordan saudi arabia qatar united arab emirates oman india and sri lanka you could sail in a straight line from ireland to australia isn't that crazy wait so how big are you though uh six foot four-ish no i mean like in bed how big are you still six foot four just sideways my man she's obviously talking about the circumference of your left butt cheek her i'll have the salad no nuts please waiter of course me it didn't say it had nuts i'm allergic so i tell them to be safe that makes sense and for you steak no bees please hippos can run faster than humans on land and swim faster than humans and water which means the bicycle is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon i'm sorry but i don't want to go up against a hippo in anything let alone a triathlon pissed off the i.t guy and he said he was going to give me a black eye and i laughed looks like he put me in my place touche i.t guy touche you want a pic of my boob yes okay please delete it after okay i'm really insecure here it goes don't worry you can trust me oh look it's my boob feminist i'll use my mother's last name me you mean your grandfather's why are you booing me i'm right what girls think i wonder why boys always shower for so long yeah they probably masturbate what boys think showering warm is nice yes hot water go burr well technically a cold shower goes burr oh shut up if you eat an entire cake without cutting it you technically only had one piece so i want to eat it in pieces it's more fun i'll be late for work today there's a cat on my car roof and i have to take the bus you can't just come in late because you don't want to bother a damn cat just get rid of it i'm afraid i won't be able to what's more important your job or a damn animal well uh you be the judge jeremy i look crazy but i saved a baby shark you got catfished there was a catfish over on the beach dead batteries free of charge do we all know at least one person that holds on to old dead batteries all national anthems are actually country songs hey whoa whoa whoa whoa don't talk like that isaac newton died a virgin that means i have one up on history's greatest scientific genius because i'm not dead i'm not dead yet either my friend in the game red dead redemption 2 the character gets warm when he's in the desert areas during the day which is a reference to the fact that deserts are hot during the day the attention to detail that rockstar put into that game is just astounding this is a dinosaur free workplace and we've proudly been that way for quite some time yeah quite some time muddy when wet dusty when dry damn straight that's just me the perennial cry to save earth is odd planet earth survives massive asteroid strikes it'll survive anything we throw at it but life on earth will not neal just shut up kneel shut up could i request a picture at it please could the phone be removed and his hand be holding me instead thanks sure here you go oh that's an amazing picture i'd have that framed how much would a trip to spain cost it depends on where you live for example if you live in spain it's free well yes but actually yes you know what really gets my goat el chupacabra excuse me she can't catch you cheating if you don't cheat now fellas this is the best one yet guaranteed shorter hair well that's a pretty easy guarantee i really don't see how they can mess that one up they think your haircuts are unamerican well it was very observant of them because we aren't american actually i love those smart asses donut fact number 18 donuts are healthier than crystal meth yeah and they're also healthier than your average soda too by a lot i heard someone say they knew a guy named hunter in college but he was vegan so they called him gatherer and i think that's hilarious yeah i'm sure he really loved that too i guess this batman sculpture was made out of just ice [Laughter] how many children do you have this mofo dropped one song and dipped who the heck is this just somebody that we used to know yeah it's like it was his plan all along island isn't land who are you who are so wise in the ways of science i don't know man i'm pretty stupid okay if i was the last person on earth would you date me michelle if you were the last person on earth i wouldn't exist i sit blindfolded a woman in a lab coat feeds me a twix left she marks her notes 329 consecutive correct guesses is there actually any difference the left ones don't taste right oh i'm a right twix kind of guy he has no legs and climbs everest what's your excuse well his legs won't hurt but mine probably will vikings jesus isn't real christian why jesus promised to rid the world of sin but people still sin odin promised to rid the world of frost giants have you seen any frost giants flawless logic my dear when she tells you she's not into middle-aged guys ah cheer up my guy i hear the ren fair's coming back soon every time i drink milk i remember my roommate who used to put powdered milk in his milk so he could drink more milk per milk seems like your roommate is a smart cookie this is something big milk doesn't want you to know have you ever tried blindfolded archery you don't know what you're missing ain't that the truth though i've inquired as to why snes titles aren't available for the 3ds and nintendo only sent me this image in response oh nintendo you used to be pretty funny i still remember loving at the back of the wii's instruction manual where it told you to tinker with your wii to see what kind of things you can come up with tell me something i don't know the number 142-33221 describes itself it has one four two threes three twos and two ones all right i'm having a breakdown you'll be okay i'm there right now friend this is my new favorite comic fruits that do not live up to their names passion fruit grapefruit honeydew dragon fruit fruits that do live up to their names orange ain't that the truth my friend this ai can tell apart real and fake paintings every painting is a real painting if you paint it yeah what does that even mean i know everyone phone number no you don't get the [ __ ] out my profile you creep i do i just don't know who they belong to ah that's a good point actually i will die on this hill i think we can all agree that if your pizza isn't from new york or new jersey it's probably from somewhere else oh no way my eyes have been open to the truth about pizza oh my god a snake just bit me is it poisonous nope not at all but it is extremely venomous oh you son of a [ __ ] now is not the time for lessons i'm easily attracted to men with power well i just paid my light bill you get a light bill wow how'd you get like that every time i do one push-up i do one push-up jesus christ a parrot was trained by drug dealers to alert them of police presence and is refusing to speak after being detained no [ __ ] it's a bird not a rat why is school so damn hard can we go back to the days when women weren't allowed to get an education please delete this tweet don't tell me what to do there are women in the world who still aren't able to get an education so yes delete the tweet good thing they won't be able to see this tweet because they can't read this needs to be reposted yeah i'll say jesus it's not really gonna help anybody land on the ground like that one new clear bomb can ruin your whole day i think i think it's gonna ruin more than just my day hope this will suffice save sex or something i don't know i make memes yo mark this not safe for work it is safe though god damn i hate reddit hugged my mom today first time in a year magic can't wait to do the same i don't think my mom is expecting you though what are your plans for today me and a friend of mine are gonna go buy some glasses and after that and after that we'll see oh i hate today what if we used a hundred percent of the brain all neurons firing at the same time is called a seizure what if cats knew what sin was they wouldn't even care i don't care either trigonometry yo i can agree with that 100 screw all math judge do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth me no what do i do power move of the century i look this up because i want to know if you could and you can technically but then you're just instantly guilty of contempt of court and go directly to jail a trial speed run ah booty whisperer there's no i in happiness well there is if you spell it right my dude she said she belonged to the streets i said baby i am the streets i need to get me that outfit holy hell how do you like my suit i think it suits you can we get more women in suits please we had a surprise test today and well i was really surprised i used to love this show man supermarket trolleys in sweden have a map of the supermarket for guiding you that wouldn't work in the u.s though because most people don't speak swedish well most don't for sure high five 50 less bacteria than a handshake fist bump 78 percent less bacteria than a handshake sweep the leg 100 percent less bacteria than a handshake next time i see my grandma i'm on a greeter like this told my husband i wanted a small coffee table he said he'd build me one this is what i got actually that's kind of sick though people say you're autistic does that mean you take everything literally and i'm like nah that's kleptomaniacs oh i get it i understand florida man arrested for shooting target truck claims well there was a target on it the man's not wrong people your nipples are older than your teeth how dare you say those words to me i'm furious and a little turned on this is incredible china is testing its new autonomous electric train that does not need traditional tracks it runs on a virtual track and can go anywhere motherfu that's a bendy bus geographic south pole when you stand at the geographic south pole all lines of longitude converge at the exact point so you're literally standing in all 24 time zones you can step from today into yesterday and back into tomorrow it's the only place on earth you can time travel press open chat to open chat russia is located in russia shoot to shoot the shotgun like most people my age i'm 47. i'm not 47. oh i see what you're saying if pinocchio had said his nose grows longer every time he tells the truth nobody would know that he was lying oh my god what even is the point in usb 2.0 without the point it'd be usb 20. this is 10 out of 10. actually 10 plus 10 area volume 51. what comes after that i don't know i want to be a billionaire like my uncle what the hell your uncle's a billionaire no he wants to be one too oh you little gym tip work out smart not hard a lot of people at the gym go and lift the big weights but actually the small weights are lighter and much easier to lift a whole finance graduate whole really three quarters then would you take a 50 50 chance at 5 million or death why or why not yeah either way i don't have to go to work tomorrow that's a good way of looking at it photographer has been capturing gingers around the world for seven years and says it's not just about the hair are they going to let them go seven years is a long time to capture anyone even gingers and on that super glorious note we've come to the end of another one folks before we get going though let's take a look at today's fan art my little fan art what do you think it's so realistic i'm in love always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed today's video consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed it well then make sure to get yourself subscribed and click that bell icon and until next time we'll be seeing you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 972,327

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, Technicallythetruth

Id: yztpA9PnbVo

Length: 13min 15sec (795 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 30 2021