r/Technicallythetruth | NOT THE HOSPITAL

evolution has come full circle we've got dinosaurs to chicken chicken to chicken and then chicken to okay i see what's going on we've got an eye funny watermark sound the freaking alarm yeah there we go whoever posted this on reddit's been caught posting from i funny like a loser [Music] what is freaking going on ladies gentlemen and everyone in between welcome back to mk i'm your host robin and today i'm definitely drinking water and gonna be taking another look at r slash technically the truth well you know the rest come on let's get right in there hollywood isn't real you see these are paid actors some of them have won awards for being so good at being paid it's called noobs no it's called beginners amateurs what was that punk amateurs americans have literally no banter i don't know what country this is coming from but we've probably beaten you in a war at some point i'm american the civil war come on did you really think you got him with that god god dang it mount rushmore before it was carved its natural beauty was unprecedented hey wait just a goddamn minute come on change colors in your campfire add borax for green flames water softener salt for purple flames table salt for deeper orange flames epsom salt for white flames add flour for more flare-ups and add sugar for sparks or if you're feeling really crazy add magnesium to go blind what will you never do again be born yeah that crap was so overrated i'm done with it send me a pic of you and a bra okay oh nice well played d-nice well-played capitalization can really change a sentence example i love to eat candy i love to eat capitalization yeah tech support i think the server is down all right i'll take care of it don't be down server we all think you're doing a great job and everybody likes you that's exactly how it works don't you think for a second it's anything otherwise cop sit on that chair we're gonna interrogate you lawyer whispering deny everything me loudly that isn't a chair miss monopoly we're the first game where women have the advantage chess well i have to give you props for that one okay maybe it's because the king is super heavy and stupid or he's drunk i don't know but i've always wondered why he's only able to move one freaking square technically speaking the us has two west coasts i don't want to technically speak about that okay so today at work this girl passed out due to heat exhaustion and someone asked a security guard nearby to call a doctor the poor guy brought over a phd in structural engineering well she did collapse thanks draftpunk do not consume if seal is broken uh thanks grandma i appreciate your facebook repost what's cool now but probably won't be in five years the north and south poles ah give them ten but yeah they are melting and we literally can't stop it i'm going to drink more now hi james could you please make the cows a little closer thanks oh james what did you do james james if you saw the rubik's cube on another planet it would count as a world record oh shoot i could do the most mediocre thing on mars and i would be a world record holder mom son put the lasagna in the oven at 120 degrees the sun sometimes my genius is well it's almost frightening and then when we have nothing to eat because you're a smart ass you can starve while we all get taco bell your weight on each planet different gravity can change your weight on each of the planets earth your normal weight mercury you die before weighing yourself venus you die before weighing yourself mars you die before weighing yourself jupiter you die before weighing yourself saturn you die before weighing yourself uranus you die before weighing yourself neptune you die before weighing yourself pluto it's not a planet but you'd be light i'm pretty sure pluto's way too freaking cold so we'd also die there too i mean you try weighing yourself in negative 400 degrees fahrenheit bud fat dad obese father dense [ __ ] that is a lot of honking oh god what is he doing such a ridiculous requirement draw a bridge ahead you stupid son of a [ __ ] to whoever told me to leave my car at the pub and take the bus home it turns out i was in no fit state to drive that either no no you weren't take me somewhere expensive oh like an american hospital ah the ride here was five thousand dollars alone only fans i get it but it's not exactly what i was hoping to see with a box marked only fans [ __ ] write about your best friend write about these things where was he or she born where do they live who is in his or her family what does he or she like what do you do together you can add photos my best friend was born at a very young age in the hospital he lives on the planet earth you know i see where this is going and it's not [ __ ] funny so we're moving on it's kinda rude how you and your best friend won't be at each other's funeral what you expect me to go to my friend's funeral no not if they die first okay not happening this little creature looks like your god and that hobo over there looks like yours people who sell meat are gross but people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer oh oh i wish i could stop if great britain was located next to japan yep that does look about right how to find kentucky on a map ah it's the kentucky fried chicken right there okay did you know the universe is about 93 billion light years in diameter that's larger than two football fields well you're not wrong i hate lazy people why we didn't even do anything see that's the god dang it no one gets it what would happen if all seven billion people screamed at once it would be loud i think that's about it a microwave is kind of a metal detector i guess yeah you can't buy an unused mirror now now he's gotta find so why do you want to work for our company money really that's your only motivation why does your company hire people to make i get it what a stupid [ __ ] question to ask during interviews unironically what's your motivation to work for our company kiss my ass i'm doing it because i have to [ __ ] eat i'm sorry there that is not me that is definitely not the type of person i am let's keep reading memes what's the matter sweetie there are monsters under my bed okay come on i saw this on facebook 12 years ago my husband is finally reading and i am over the moon the moon oh i see it's hard being a single mother especially when you have no children and are a teenage male that does make it a little bit more difficult i found 21 savage says he's sitting on two albums of unreleased music i'm gonna be honest that kinda looks like a chair anyone sell netflix accounts uh yeah netflix does the government body has set out a plan to improve inclusivity i think forcing black people onto boats is how this entire mess started oh a lion doesn't concern himself with the opinion of sheep in fact a lion doesn't concern himself with the opinion of anyone lions are cognitively incapable of understanding opinions ain't that the truth asher people who are bad at spelling probably have more secure passwords huh i mean i'm terrible at spelling but my passwords suck open box before eating pizza what if i want a little bit more fiber with my pizza huh what am i supposed to do then my wife asked me to label the plugs yes there are four plugs here thanks honey very helpful amazon prime autobots roll out my girlfriend told me that i should treat her like a princess so i married her off to a stranger to strengthen the alliance with france what year is it you heathen god called racist at mcdonald's today tell us what happened i got called racist in a mcdonald's yeah but why i was being racist yes i see it appears my hypothesis was correct i can't pay rent because i spent it all on this lab equipment oh my god eureka customer i'd like your mildest roast please barista you've got really average ears thanks thanks a good romance starts with a good friendship repeated several times a bad romance starts with no no no no i've seen this before i'm still not gonna do it can't believe someone rubbed one off in the elevator that's true it really is gone isn't it obesity is literally a problem you can run from you're just gonna have to run for a very long time to replace programmers with robots clients will have to accurately describe what they want we're safe i uh i don't think we're ever gonna be able to truly replace programmers with robots you know the things that the programmers have to program i really doubt we're gonna get that far within the next hundred years the coins in a pocket of a world war one soldier managed to stop a bullet you might say it was his life savings i'm not going to though this boy is practicing safe sex i wonder if that actually alters the sound of the instrument or not i doubt it but i am curious photography is the only hobby where you can legally shoot hang and frame people well no but actually yes if you're a larger size you have more skin than smaller folks therefore you are skinnier than they are that's a terrible shower thought really really bad i hate it in order to prepare for his role in space jam actor michael jordan played nine seasons of professional basketball and won three national championships and then he played baseball really really really badly also acted very very very badly and then he was finally ready to begin shooting i'm losing my [ __ ] over this which way are these stairs going the stairs aren't going anywhere they're staying still hope this helped if it's in stock we have it thanks very helpful me and this little old mexican lady were talking in spanish and this old white in a wheelchair said we're in america why don't you speak english and the little mexican lady told her you have legs why don't you walk i nearly died so i gave her some free coffee cars have windows and can move houses have windows and can't move so it's not the windows that make the car go it's something else entirely no way 2021 in three words 20 20 and one do you get it i'm worthless actually i don't like those numbers they seem a little bit low if i'm being honest wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong amazing every word of what you just said was wrong friend where are you at me the hospital why what happened it's just my cousin he can't speak or walk really what happened to him nothing he was just born two hours ago well listen here you son of a [ __ ] lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake it cost you zero dollars to not say that but yet you did and now it took a few years off of my life it would have cost me much more to not say anything no it wouldn't have and it wouldn't have at the age of 60 snoop dogg will be 420 in dog years girl scouts is just a cookie company that gets away with free child labor a lethal dose is also a lifetime supply he's too dangerous to be left alive or he copied a bunch of people from the internet and on that ever glorious note we've come to the end of another video ladies and gents but before we get going let's take a look at today's fan art shall we continuing to make mk kaijus or mkai jews feel good about this one the mk channel has been making me smile for a long time so hopefully i can try to return the favor if not today then maybe someday what do you mean if not today you are more than returning the favor trust me look at how freaking cool this guy is although if i ever ran into him in a dark alley i would not be happy always remember folks if you even somewhat enjoyed this video consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed the video well then make sure to get yourself subscribed and click the bell icon and hey if you're feeling super generous make sure to check out my links in the description down below and until next time i'll catch you later

Channel: EmKay

Views: 434,032

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, Technicallythetruth

Id: zoC9QLI1JLM

Length: 13min 30sec (810 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 23 2021