r/Technicallythetruth | true i guess

Hey look things are getting out of hand what's up guys and welcome back to MA my name is Damien and today we're just going back into our slash technically the truth what's above Tennessee what's the state above Tennessee gasps listen to that guy he's a scientist he knows more about it than you do idiot a how much of an allowance that y'all get per week as a team I was allowed to live there and that's the best kind of allowance Oh quick animal facts if you stacked every elephant in the whole world on top of each other they wouldn't like it neither would i if you stacked every person on top of each other I don't think anyone would this is pretty universal I'm now a nanny vac sir because vaccines are leading cause of adults and those annoying pieces of crap are freakin everywhere well you want to prevent a doll hood auntie vaccinations are the way to go this area is under constant video surveillance and there's the camera surveilling that sign constantly if your butt crack will split horizontally would clap when you run down the stage it would he's absolutely right I wouldn't clap when you run down the stairs imagine it's Christmas morning you're 23 you're running downstairs because you stayed at your your me mom's house for Christmas and she goes it's Christmas time and all she hears when you run down the stairs is oh boy it's Christmas all right yeah the average adult today has probably seen more naked women than all Roman emperors combined hey drew have not seen all Roman emperors combined before this is a true fact shower thoughts that's why I love this subreddit without you 60 minutes feels like one hour oh I love you love is not only blind it's stupid why don't you mans have a specific noise that means there are bees here let's leave immediately why are elephants more advanced than us we do have a specific noise it sounds like this there are bees here let's leave immediately I mean that's a pretty good deterrent if there's bees there or not I'd agree with that the bacon sandwich over cret Bobby has four dimes amy has 30 pennies which child has more money Bobby how do you know she'll you're thinking that's me thinking about Bobby the best thing I heard today was a pregnant woman arguing with her partner and she said I have to rains and you have one there for your argument is moot idiot single brain [ __ ] can't believe my boss forgot my birthday thought he was my friend you how did you get past my security you let your guard down a little like derpy face on the crook he's like huh yeah you got down now have a steal your prized possession hey it's a 15 pack and that's like three more cans of a 12-pack they're not lying if we can't we won't I love business your car keys have traveled further than your car and then sandwich it's like hmm cuz he's right you know Church is just book club that's been stuck on one book for centuries don't call him out like that don't call him out girlfriend movin in her can I set up a cloning machine in the basement me sure make yourself at home I'm coming over will you be long yes do crabs think fish are flying how high are you 5 foot 9 what do you ask why I'll hire you job interviewer it says in your CV that you're quick at mathematics what is 17 times 1936 that's not even close but it was quick dammit William stop playing video games at work and give me a second chance to fight this boss can you had a funny punch sound effect oh one of them alright I'm back that's funny that's real silly I'm dating a half asian girl her mom is Korean and her dad is also Korean her legs are ripped off at a car accident Shh get it because she's only half of what she used to be hey what's the difference between a kleptomaniac get a literalist the literalist takes things literally and the kleptomaniac takes things literally what would you do for a Klondike bar I love that commercial I'm gonna pay a $2 79 cents for six hey I mean fair enough if I had a dollar for every woman that didn't find me attractive beat eventually find me attractive and that's a fact so how many women are there on earth at least seven watch out thank you he'll love his username that's great that guy's going places what's the best drug to have stats on birth control I like your style Noah all my teachers said to become clever I should study Shakespeare not true Shakespeare never studied Shakespeare and he went on to become Shakespeare take that education system Elon Musk born in South Africa and an American citizen is the wealthiest African American and that's a fact Jack hey just discovered a neat trick if you make brownies but don't cut him you can eat the whole slab he say he only ate one brownie and then he later reblog this and said do not do this it was just a funny joke stop calm down before acting an episode six I think that's six a new hope Mark Hamill had never seen a single Star Wars movie I mean they're not lying everything not saved will be lost Nintendo quit screen message their inspirational man I don't know to tell you boys who can pull off facial hair are hot I think it's supposed to use a razor it's recommended but not required is that a book of facts movies will always break monetary records because of inflation you should be rated on how many tickets are sold versus how much money was made I mean I could agree with that Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Lucky's car on pumpkins picking apples reading books by the firon thinking nice watch with a chilly you know chilly he's got his winter coat on it's cute love that guy what do you think would happen if a man was injected all types of viruses and diseases at once uh he would probably not feel very good unfortunately probably cuz we injected him with every type of virus and disease all at once we said hey hey Jerry uh yeah so um we're gonna inject you with every virus is that okay that all right your wife says you never buy her flowers is that true to be honest I never knew she sold flowers her personal life is her personal I thought just married to her you have $20 left for food for seven days what do you buy $20 worth of food Ryan Yura he sure isn't lying he's living up to his name just found out I'm really good at escape rooms apparently we have a panic attack in the corner he let you out early what chumps suckers you've never actually watched a full movie because you blink that's what you think gears v has removed all references to smoking you can literally saw people on half with a chainsaw to be fair there are way more people who die from smoke and they're getting changed all in half so I guess they remove the more realistic death I am a genie I offer you three wishes make it for granted you have three left outstanding move Hey look welcome to our /good cardi B songs and there's no posts or do we need to stop global warming be a lot cooler if you did it would be for the guy who stole my antidepressants I hope you're happy now I'm not missing half of poster if found please call number reward dollar sign last seen on the ghost family well someone better find it I want to read the rest of that go hands-free now it's the law starting tomorrow and he's like wow how do you beat Hillary by getting more votes this man knows an answer our question Ironman $500,000 Iron Man to ten million dollars Avengers 39 million dollars my Iron Man 332 mil age of Ultron 35 mil Civil War 63 mil homecoming 9 mil in infinity war 75 mil end game 75 mil that's his income in ten years a total of three hundred and thirty nine million two hundred and forty thousand dollars that's like more than ten dollars this is an intact human nervous system that was dissected by two medical students in 1925 it took them over 1500 hours there are only four of these in the world actually there are seven billion of these in the world just thought you should know Jupiter's incredible size Jupiter is so large you can fit an entire football field on it and that's just the start being kissed in your sleep is like the purest form of love unless you're home alone he has no legs climbs Everest what's your Excuse his legs won't hurt mine will how do you want your hair done like this Oh done you'll like it I got it just right hey-up whole crop you flipped it with a time travel is we are though traveling through time at a speed of one second per second hey wait a second all right you're good continue I live for two reasons I was born and I haven't died yet these are the two reasons that I live a math meme that is funny rather than stupid solve carefully I won't solve carefully I'll bring out my favorite thing hey Siri what is two hundred and thirty minus two hundred and twenty times 0.5 you like you lied to me the answer isn't five well III didn't believe it I guess he wasn't lying wait for those who laws the answer is five five factorial which is five times four wait a minute no matter how kind you are German children are kinder it's funny I am a meat-eater and an animal lover I'm a prostitute and a virgin you can't be an animal lover and a meat eater feel free to tell us otherwise I mean it could be a day on the job even think about that aliens invaded the moon on July 20th 1969 exactly 50 years ago today talking about us were they aliens not fastening your seat belt decreases your risk of dying from cancer I don't know if that's true but I'm too lazy to check so take my up vote 5 hours of sleep 10 hours of sleep wake up tired hey you can't wake up tired if you don't sleep I think I just found Jesus look I got one hour of sleep I got one hour of sleep today and I'm just fine okay so just follow along with me okay one hour it's on don't get one hour of sleep I'm miserable right now this was bad this was this was the first bad decision of the day was getting in one hour for the girl who enjoys a big one nice you owe us money it's called taxes well how much do I owe you have to figure that out I just pay what I want oh ho no we know exactly how much you owe but you have to guess that number two so what if I get it wrong you go to prison okay if your parachute doesn't open you have the rest of your life to fix it and that's not a joke that's real he was asked to bring a passport sized photo he followed the instructions people with these cars can easily steal your girl I mean really any car that could be could do that most likely present yeah best argument for eating bacon if animals don't want to be eaten why are they made out of food I rest my case ah that's the pie heavy and that's the pie I've not eaten yet what is that a lemon pie looks tasty alcohol is literal poison humans this is some serious gourmet stuff this pool is shaped like Colorado I mean yeah I guess population on July 20th 1969 Australia twelve million two hundred seventy eight thousand six hundred eighty eight the moon - hey don't look at me that's the truth because of his self-healing power Wolverine can never be circumcised oh he can be circumcised he can be circumcised a lot we've all kicked a pregnant woman before whoa hmm I mean he's not wrong reserved for green vehicles and there's my man and his truck that stick in his truck it's quick it's easy and it's free pouring river water in your socks why would I do that lmao it's quick it's easy and it's free we don't get a lot of those things in life your rap name is young plus something you always carry with you no matter where you go hey yo what's up my name is young student loan debt life hack avoid red lights by driving at 114 million four thousand eight hundred and twenty seven miles per hour this velocity will blue shift them enough to appear green road safety laws to be ignored no no those good grunkle Stan impression I never watched gravity falls I can only assume hey look it's the relationship is anyone know how to remove this thing yeah you pay Republican congressman defends Trump says I'm a person of color I'm white wow what a one savage says he's sitting on two albums of unreleased music I'm be honest that looks like a chair 21 I like my coochie shaved lady's been shave you coochie Michael new D&D character skeleton in the first suit that's called an animal I managed to snap a photo of an object that is traveling at 2,000 288 miles per hour taken with a phone without any special equipment ace guy named a solid poop name a gas fart name a liquid pee I mean he's correct while you booing him he's right if you taught a parrot to only say the word parrot then it would be like owning a Pokemon I'm buying a parent tell me something I don't know the number 1 4 2 3 3 2 2 1 describes itself is 1 4 2 3 3 2 s and 2 ones there is a vast difference between being thick and being morbidly obese carry on gentle many top scientists are on the autism spectrum so technically autism causes vaccines and then the rocks like whoa tradition is just peer pressure from dead people you're not wrong all languages travel at the speed of sound except sign language that travels at the speed of light whoa Uranus has a diameter of more than 50,000 kilometers that's more than a mile thanks Michael we used to tease Neil because he had glasses once we took them from him but then he started to tease us because now we had glasses it was the old switcheroo vaccines are unfortunately victims of their own success they have been so wildly successful at protecting children from dying in several diseases that some people actually believe these potentially deadly diseases are harmless vaccines caused anti-vaxxers take it from me doc bastard well the dry well floors wet Superman should no longer be white Hey look the blacks already have a successful superhero can we let tinos get Superman if y'all gonna be changing characters races I mean he technically is an illegal alien anyway just give a Superman hey yo people with glasses on is just people without glasses but with glasses on thank me later for that science that's science Bob chopped onion is there a name for the effect that's making the shot look hazy yes all right great thanks did you know there is a skeleton inside you right now you don't have a skeleton inside you you're a brain you are inside a skeleton you're piloting a bone mech that's using meat armor I mean hey that's that's technically the truth and it brings us to the end of our slash technically the truth and if you liked the video leave a like down below and hey I'll let you subscribe for more content from MBK and as always I'll be seeing you [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 2,689,971

Rating: 4.9365063 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth top posts, r/technicallythetruth best posts, technically the truth, technically the truth emkay, technically the truth reddit, reddit truth, reddit funny, r/technicallythetruth emkay

Id: Ki0xpNF0x7E

Length: 13min 40sec (820 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 13 2019