r/Technicallythetruth | they're *technically* right...

cigarette companies kill their best customers and condom companies kill their future customers think about it [Music] what's up guys and welcome back to ma my name is damien and today we're looking through our slash technically the truth homosexuality is gay indeed it is yes that is correct yes that is in fact the point right an example of a risk this Amy got marks for it that's a mad lad the risk paid off chief Congrats man my dog gets all the chicks and that's so many chicks got 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 18 at least like twice 7 chicks oh what a chick magnet this is a building this is a built and I mean yeah it's not a finished though is it or is it finished while god speed it is finished it is a built will you marry me is a marriage proposal will you marry me is a foursome proposal will you marry me there's a time-traveller spoiling the future will you marry me it's a cavewoman trying to make will who has amnesia remember who he is words have power love that a pelvis fracture and that looks so man it hurts to be this hip yes it does does not look good by your salvation 15 cents a small price to pay for salvation invisible confusion no no no you mean visible considering that my confusion is not visible I'm gonna say no try again next time chief you are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from Stardust riding a rock floating through space fear nothing is it bad that I hate posts like this I always think these are dumb I get really upset at these I'm like oh yeah whatever shut up with your fake inspirational stuff it just upsets me greatly for some reason Inter Milan I've revealed the received a threatening letter containing a bullet in the post but denied manager Antonio Conte wasn't target aussi but that's not how bullets work that should be delivered much faster I don't know what they were trying to do but they failed trust me I know how bullets get delivered 100 percent of people who have sex eventually die is that what you want no thanks @ stop the horny nobody is born cool except of course dude that movie was my entire childhood that's a pretty short childhood man that's sad should get a better childhood cancer survivors of Reddit what was the one thing besides your treatment that kept you alive oxygen oh yeah no kidding huh I hate that September October November and December aren't the seventh eighth ninth and tenth months man whoever screwed this up should be stabbed okay good news even luck turns out the person was stabbed by all his friends that was a young fellow from path who was born on the day of his birth he was married they say on his wife's wedding day and he died on his last day on earth I mean yeah sounds right the man entered his home and was absolutely delighted when he discovered someone had stolen every lamp in the house I get it dee-lighted how to cook a turkey one kill the turkey yeah I mean guests hurt somewhere I can't believe people are calling Johnny untalented when he can breathe underwater do what he does best breath underwater it might be bottled by eight counts any serious less movies relate to cooking no master chef no ratatouille Breaking Bad's one it's not maybe not the cooking you're looking for but it is cooking take a look she snorted coke she's got a problem do you have any books on Turtles heart attack yeah with little heads preferably those my favorite kinds of turtles give an example of a way that you could disagree with your parent without being disrespectful I respectfully disagree doesn't matter in this house baby can't disagree in this house overruled I pay the bills someone wore Dino costume for decades day and the teacher can't stop him because technically prehistory is a decade not bad chief world peace flame but there's no flame oh oh I get it that's sad why would you show me this I don't want to think about that raise listen eat lizard tails perfect food self-replicating cut a moth to grow back eat lizard tails oh okay crow lizards do it begin now I mean yeah they grow back but this doesn't mean you can eat him chief say what you will about him but you have to admit he has a leaf in his mouth and that he does what a cute little guy leaf it's all time for you buddy what he is what's your name we get a young goat a dishwasher from the inside actually that's a dishwasher from the outside these these like visible dishwashers though are really cool I feel like I get mesmerised watching one of these do its thing one the first person to get two World Records in one day get a record for being the first person to get two world records in one day give me my third record making the first present get three World Records on one day giving him before through record of beating the first person awake for workers in a day giving him a fifth record for being the first person to break five records and one day giving him a six-way over being the first person basic records and one day giving him myself I get to be the first president okay we get it we get it we get it he would have infinite records infinite records why are you telling this to me America is the best country in the nation I mean yes it's the only one in the nation it's pretty easy to be the best when they're the only one companies are bragging about making plants taste like me cows have been doing that forever hey how much is the menu the menu is free online the food costs various prices though if that answers your question thanks Benjamin it does actually hard to swallow pill oh yeah I'd say so it's like mr. Krabs pearls like time to take the pill do I hate the pill that's a big pill would be a difficult thing to do if we woke up line tomorrow see yeah I'd say so hey look that's a seahorse get it it's a horse and oh yeah that's silly really Christopher you know what's harder than lying about your age on a dating app is setting yourself on fire for lying about your age on a dating app don't lie about your age on a dating app please caution please be aware that the balcony is not on ground level hence the name balcony when you use the wrong formula while taking a test this time I'll end up with the right answer yeah I mean it's technically the truth get it Japan really doesn't sugarcoat their clothing sizes because the size is fat I'm never gonna shop at Japan if you are you eat then only cannibals are humans I worry about you sometimes Candace you worry about Candace without your two genius sons Phineas and Ferb and your platypus pet they know you could buy a platypus little and how it does a pet man we're always put a week is coming from ah a Puerto Rico probably a vampire bite is just a sharp hickey it's just I mean am I wrong no you're right I just don't like thinking about it though for pictures of Barack Obama though make you say these are iceberg Barack Obama Hey look it made me say it Wow pumpkin seeds contain seeds well ain't you let me know steamed broccoli ingredients broccoli salt pepper steam any plastic ninja sword is an authentic Chinese sword think about that you're welcome is anyone understand radio waves yeah radio receivers do idiot don't ask us um you're really related to your family by nut not blood just want you guys to know I love family dinnertime what was the best moment you've seen where the real world hit a spoiled rich kid during the French Revolution when the guillotine hit him what is your secret for always staying down to earth well I mean gravity Keanu your wisdom never ceases to amaze me amaze and just leave me in awe shop for duck press we got a panda or no duck press and we got a duck addressed as the reporter that is duck press I'd buy him $40 never mind maybe not that much blur stelae ver and it's chicken flavor packet in the wallet just in case look at you [ __ ] okay it's like [ __ ] if you spell absolutely nothing backwards it becomes me ik Tanya dholusa which literally means absolutely nothing nice and dinosaur mm all of the dentists are shown are created by CGI this is due to the fact that the dinosaurs have been mostly extinct since at least the early 1980s at least sale price a glazed yeast ring $2.99 is this what we've been reduced to a glazed a yeast ring just call it a donut let me have my shame if you're a junior your mom is a moan your name during sex yeah that makes sense to me is that why I'm named daddy wants to read doesn't read wants to draw doesn't draw wants to study a language doesn't study the language wants to watch new movies doesn't watch new movies wants to do stuff I like it enjoy doesn't so this is called depression stars can't shine without darkness no no no no it's hydrogen a nuclear fusion not darkness for chicken nuggets and that's I guess that counts too nugget but I'm not gonna be happy about it World War one Germany Lenin and just hitting Russia with Lenin making the Soviet Union yum yum yum hey what episode is this the one what Tom launches a watermelon at three kittens and one of the kittens Soloff the watermelon hole thanks you're welcome if you need to pee than pee but if you don't don't thanks Neil a good pirate never takes another person's property well just defeats the frickin purpose doesn't it a wise man once said the first kill everyone on the boat then they take the stuff and is technically not stealing if nobody owns it there you go technically they're not committing a crime an Apache attack helicopter that's not an Apache if you look closely that's not a real doctor either federal agents raid gun shop find weapons teos of interest I mean yeah if you're gonna raid a gun shop it's probably what you gonna find chief kleptomaniacs always take things literally sorry I forgot the comma xxx tada see on fact number 98 xxx 10th ASEAN does not make music anymore due to the fact that he is dead well they're releasing the cuts that were never finished because they're grinding money out of his name feels bad man you know fire is the leading cause of fire is it now I would have never guessed hey I'm relatively new to read it what happens if you're permanently banned you get banned permanently what does it mean to you what's the girl gonna do foots of Disney Plus login credentials pay $6 what's on your mind in reality plants are actually farming us by giving us oxygen daily until we eventually decompose so they could consume us that's the real apex predator high-five you someone's just slapping someone's hand in a real enthusiastic wave might I add congratulations on your annual womb immigration anniversary you are now closer to death than you were yesterday go ahead and eat your cake stupid today's special by two items pay for both or get out of my store your choice Jews are a race Judaism is a religion it is possibly both an atheist and a Jew but it's not possible to be a Christian in an atheist actually it is possible if he names Chris didn't ever think about that Dumbo huh didn't think so type see for fast charging see didn't work [Music] Nagasaki is a Japanese port city that was founded by the Portuguese in the late 16th century and unfounded by the United States on August 9th 1945 yeah unfounded crushed pineapple I loved truthful marketing what's a cold when a shrimp kills another shrimp mm-hmm a trilling spree no it's actually murder without trees it wouldn't have trees it's 20 of them thanks crabby the average American is we just says American thanks you know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold you shivering is it cold outside well then it might be cold outside no one literally no one and yeah the ones not there do you eat but you could start with a hello hello do you eat but thank you thank you for starting with a hello now I'll answer your question yes course sent we D kill the fish hole was still alive oh my god yes they did actually nine years are just free horror movies that he produced direct and star in think about that next time oh it's his uncle's tweet I want to skydive without the parachute and go headfirst in the earth now that's the way to go out I mean you could probably flap your arms and fly for a second to know he'd be able to fly for the rest of his life yeah probably being gay before the invention of Lube must have been a pain in the butt according to my history professor this is actually a huge contributing factor to the popularity of olive oil and ancient Greece yeah I bet they were greasing something up weren't they ahaha so what is anal sex you like feels like a wiener on your butt anal sex feels like a wiener in your putt this is a PSA love him or hate him he's spitting straight thanks and he's making noises too I like your name Thanks I got it for my birthday one of metal bonds with a nonmetal ioniq flooded area yeah yeah it is can you just listen to me what I like you okay and I feel that something is missing in my heart I think it's an E chief ouch are you just in a hole is that it am I just an a-hole yeah well I've got arms and legs I have everything now a future post from dorky discord is this even really fan art won't you make it for mk then yes it is and look at it it's like an RPG hero I love them thank you so much that's dope and thank you for watching our slash technically the truth if you liked the video leave a like down below and subscribe for more content from MK if you want to catch more of me you can find me at twitch TV slash Damien we live and as always I'll be seeing you [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,682,030

Rating: 4.9594316 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth emkay, technicallythetruth, technicallythetruth emkay, reddit truth, truth, reddit puns, dad jokes, puns, emkay technicallythetruth

Id: qs7A6bmr0b0

Length: 13min 33sec (813 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 09 2019