r/Technicallythetruth | THE MAN IS RIGHT

in case of fire do not use the elevator okay use water what's up guys and welcome back to MA my name is Damian and today we're looking through our slash technically the truth the dogged us me to spend at least one hour per day on the treadmill so I bet does that but here's the kicker he didn't tell you what I had to do on the treadmill so I'm getting the tide hour right now oh man I can't laugh too hard anyone who comes in for my laugh I'm sorry but it's gonna be very muted hey I I'm not feeling too great and whenever I laugh my chest hurts so I have to watch myself me the opposite of Microsoft Office is Micro hard on fire wait yeah it is cuz Microsoft off ice versus mad girl hard I'll fly I like this guide you but you do that's a disgusting amount of canola oil you dump it on that normal conversation ashes only and would you look at that we have at least four their dog bless before acting in Episode six is Ivy six all right one two three that's four why is Ivy 4 why is not just fourth that's so dumb why is Ivy four not three of those single what why what the hell man not your thumb let's try that post again before acting in Episode four a new low Mark Hamill has never seen a single Star Wars movie I'm not like a huge Star Wars buff so I don't understand why this is funny um was that the first one with Star Wars the first Star Wars I don't understand well I'll laugh anyway is is if I understood the joke I get it that's funny what are some weird and not safe for work historical facts well ancient Rome was built without the use of construction cones of barriers because they just didn't give a damn in ancient Rome a safety regulation was if he dies he dies and I appreciated that you so yesterday I saw a book called how to solve 50% of your problems so I bought two books well actually if you solve 50% of your problems then the other 50% will be the new 100% so when you use the second book you'll solve 50% of the 50% of your problems which means you've solved 75% of your problems and then the other 25% will turn into another 100 I can tell that it won't stop you'll always have problems to solve just saying gee men still open car doors he'll smile gonna get in that car huh teleportation now I got minecraft tomatoes in real life I can't do /tp here black man is the fastest man in the world Oh everything is about race isn't it 12 E o racing are they not in yeah fer the yard what would you do if you want a 50 million dollar lottery collect the 50 million dollars I like this game I have decided on a new constellation I call it the bees if you look up at the night sky and see all those sparkly dots congratulations you see the bees I have just made a shala G ten thousand times easier you're welcome those born under the sign of the bees have emotions think thoughts it's likely introverted or extroverted has at least a few friends was was born at some point I'm a bees Wow present your best argument for eating bacon easy if animals don't want to be eaten why are they made out of food and I think about that next Elias be such a dumb question Jo which way are the stairs going to the side yeah yeah he's right PC gamers I'm a just bending $1,000 on Gucci clothes also PC gamers why is he sitting right in front of it well because he can't see the images if you sit behind the duh hey did you ever notice that lights and video games use real electricity to shine what's wrong with you I'm just making a point they don't know it's a problem I'm just saying you know like you know if what if I turn of the horoscopes if you're born in December the kind of person who has their birthday this month happy birthday uh had birth you are December babies out there yeah you hear knock on the front door and when you open the door it's just you from a parallel universe what reason do you think your clone has on knocking on your door it was told to go screw himself and well now here he is no don't I boy I obliged to get rid of all the bugs was to get rid of all the software which is technically and statistically correct any female born at the 2018 can't cook all you know is goo goo crap they pants piss hit suck boobies so everything that I do nice world's nuclear arsenals of course Russia in the u.s. at the most who's Jeff who the hell is Jeff the MIT gets burned ready for a world in which a fifty dollar DNA test can predict your odds of running a PhD or forecast what solid gets into a selective preschool you can already do this with a zip code chief my eyes need bleach alright here you go thanks uh handle himself what would take to meet you and I'll being in the same place at the same time actually thanks mark you know Colorado does the same thing with their swing pools oh so does Wyoming I'll get it it's just the shape of Texas I don't understand there are so many local mills in my area then why can't I see him oh because they're not near here they're in Syria be fair was very specifically said in my area not yours Jeffrey you know get those not allowed they see the I see the jug here sign up but start having fun what's your username this username is already in use yeah it is I get it that's not funny if you were a dictator of some country what would be the first thing you do I'd probably figure out what country it is that's fair that's fair it's funny how people who get a tattoo receive comments like that's for the rest of your life while people who are getting a baby don't I mean you can destroy both with lasers you know what yes you keep incase of broken glass please use this dustpan and broom that's all you know scientifically speaking if I cut off my ovaries okay and then keep them in the fridge alright I'm following along then I could still have children well avoiding periods and unwanted pregnancies no no actually because they would have to develop we need to have like the but the egg is like the little seed and then there's and then it germinates so you grow on a plant if it's human and it's inside unit sucks to get out of you that's how pregnancy works oh well well if it isn't the consequences of your own actions male birth control testing stopped after Wow what after men's testicles start exploding exploding not like feeling like like explosions like he cooked a grenade and pop G okay but you're saying the tests were successful then so you're telling me if you give this to your plants water why give this to your kids soda juice and Capri Sun that's because my kids aren't plants I am paralyzed from the neck down it's not so bad most days it just become your new life some days though wait how are you typing he's holding his hands above his neck obviously simple nice a glass table for sale what's assembly required you know it's like it's like a jigsaw puzzle but I cut my fingers I like that I like I like proving my word for the glass table I have 108 50 digits of pi memorized LMFAO well I actually have all of them memorized it's the order I'm a bit sketchy on my man he is someone great if you're reading this in 30 19 I'm dead that's morbid but yeah you would be men unless we develop immortality yeah c4 is just angry Plato don't tell me that I mean you're right but don't tell me that why would you say these words to me in that order did you know that if you put your ear up to a stranger's leg and hear them say what the hell you've done sorry the internet told me to you were right about what you'd say about man I love the way the Earth rotates it really makes my day and my nights and my seasons if both basketball teams just work together they would score so many more points but they don't hire me to make the rules one good reason why I shouldn't slit my throat right now please foods that you eat will no longer be able to go to your stomach thank you later so what do you do for a living I hunt and kill aliens what aliens don't exist have you ever seen one no yeah you're freaking welcome I'm grateful what's the size of bananas doll I'd say at least twelve bananas are you kidding you bananas from the footlong banana shop what's afoot and bananas don't know I'm s that's what it is yeah thanks smart aleck hi Ilan I'm so beautiful my model free can you share anything about the mall free that we don't already know it won't look like other cars Thanks Ilan me I wanna test look if I ever have the money for it I would get I would get a Tesla mainly cuz the Falcon wing doors and the Model X are cool and I want to feel like a cool guy pull up in your whip and the Falcon doors come out yea-ah be wildin hey what's the thing you can say while playing Minecraft that you can also say drinks well you can technically say anything at any time so literally anything yeah toddler tamers leashless ankle weight system normal no more dreaded glares from using toddler leashes put the weight and weight right here this is such a bad product you might have temporary control over your taught but you're just gonna make it stronger what's worse than uncontrollable baby an uncontrollable baby who has never missed a leg day and could kill you with one kick you're training your toddler to be deadly what can make a man run away like this well it's not run it's ran because it's past tense out here all week Mexico Egypt Indonesia they all got pyramids well what does this mean that my friend is exactly the question you have to ask it means that this is one of the best ways to pile up rocks now hum fall down for a long time you're welcome take me later das right they haven't fallen down for quite a long time what is the best thing to be addicted to easy breathing he's an adult that after stalking your children all year sneaks into your house leaves presents for them means your snacks and we celebrate this guy role-playing time you're my dishwasher I ask you to go downstairs and pull some fillets from the fries there and put them in the sink to thaw do you think this is what I wanted you to do no well that's what this kid did and let me tell you something that's raw fish touching the sink the sink that we wash dishes in can't get nothing done right in this in fresh Tehran released prisoners of Reddit why were you in jail no no probably a crime just my guess you know how people say that the older you get the smarter you want you're not older than you were when you first started reading this so technically I made you smarter you're welcome there should be a tutor really this is a sign that you shouldn't drive hi okay if life shuts a door open it again that it's a door it's odd he works too but what do you call a but a closed door does Albany oil was a groundbreaking discovery and yes it was Rach anything else I love that guy I have nothing but success for that man what's the worst date you've seen a public bathroom in lolis in New Jersey needs it wished anyways those look highly venomous could also be poisonous if you dedicated enough huh is there a rule for something that's both venomous and poisonous yeah it's Australian oh boy her being flirty I need help taking it off ooh hey should you zipper working said anything else no now she knows it's not what she is meaning nobody I think you knew that radiation is just cancer flavored air Galatians 4:16 honestly the verse just makes this bed Galatians 4:16 says so now have I become the enemy by telling you the truth now you become my best friend you can make everyone full of one will you make what is it if I make the rule everyone has to follow it that's my rule every cigarette you smoke takes ten minutes off your student loan debt that's the convincing argument chief spell your name with this keyboard space got'em so made up dinosaur noises without ever hearing them you everything about that because like keeps me up at night what's considered trashy if you're poor but classy if you're rich getting money from the government I don't know why brain pop the more you know the more you know I love brainpop mere inspection now there's a job I could see myself doing get it yes a table with maximum legs is a block so it was a table with zero legs damn you're right - so it's just a table leg if it's not round thank me later boomers everything goes graduated good old days the good old days is that way a lot of boomers are in defects yes actually a little documented fact I just bought 50 Cotton's at 2% milk and mix it to get 100% milk my bones are now indestructible I could have just bought whole milk but that was too easy you know capitalization can really change a sentence example I love the candy I love the capitalization yeah that's true one of those make sense the other one does not hey what smells better than it tastes you know it knows got a man's guy yup guys if you want to have sex with a girl but she says no here's a strategy that works every time respect your right to say no and develop a relationship whether because consent is hot this is gold no it's advice girl our relationship is over guy or relationship as well oh guy our relationship is one over as guy make only one move to make this correct no easy there you go 6 - 4 T 1 equals 4 leave it to be negative 4 but ok you said you were only fishing half a day 12 hours is half a day but how do you dial negative 1 dial i hey guys I think my PC might have a virus on I don't know what to think about this hey since caffeine is a drug the cashiers at Starbucks are technically drug dealers I didn't know about that until now huh buddy if weif shuts a door open it again is a door that's how they work I've already seen this a different post not as funny the second time what's wasn't it changed after you got married oh I now have a wife spent reducer as my ex-girlfriend the people before the crowbar was invented crows had a drink at home now there's crowbars and crows get tanked at the crowbars take it from me a certified crow I got rejected by my crush what do I do drink heavily I have no alcohol can't buy me cuz I'm 15 just steal some you'll be I what's the best place to steal vodka from Josh shop and out of future posts from X womb II being art I love drawing civil armor sets so I do want inspired by Damian oh hey thanks a lot of fun drawing it I saw Amelie where you had like the okay hand sign on the on the feathers that is cool it's very extravagant to my man watch it he kicks down the door with some flare I like him a true knight thank you so much thank you for watching our slash technically the truth if you liked the video leave a like down below and subscribe for more content from MK and you want to find more of me you can you can watch me at twitch TV slash Damion Lee live and as always I'll be seeing you [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,245,288

Rating: 4.9276099 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth emkay, technicallythetruth, technicallythetruth emkay, reddit truth, truth, reddit puns, dad jokes, puns, emkay technicallythetruth

Id: iSIietQDZjk

Length: 14min 14sec (854 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 30 2019