r/Technicallythetruth | PHONE CAR PHONE CAR

speedrunners are literally spending all of their time and games trying not to spend much time in games now he's got a point hey how's it going everybody welcome back to MK my name is of course Robin and today I'm gonna be perusing through our slash technically the truth without much further ado let's dive headfirst into it shall we Aaron it's so hard being a single mom when you have no kids into a male teenager I can relate man this amazing sculpture is called the caring hand and is located in Glaros Switzerland it's a palm tree I hate you oh no 9gag a myth mandevilla I'm not a legend I am a myth made on earth tidal pooping on people what is happening here what's this for wasn't this leaf green before I hate Russian dolls what they're so full of themselves what this gate must be open or shut at all times no G real specific friend what's the point in the existence me okay the letter B is P but pregnant oh I don't like that what do you call a yellow horse a yellow horse well that settles it where are my testicles summer removed removed Oh No Oh give them back please if a serial killer is chasing you you're both running for your life whoa never thought about it that way never wanted to think about it that way but now I am so thanks how in the heck do you get dick from Richard you ask him nicely hope he's in a good mood every naked person I see turns me on well I'd hope so otherwise they'd be standing in there for no reason and it would get really awkward really fast so far you've survived 100% of your worst days good job I like that so far though yo why does Cody look like he's wearing his girlfriend's boyfriend shirt because technically he is a ho excuse me there is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday we all just have to trust that someone kept counts since the first one ever oh god oh my god Karen said with righteous indignation your accent is awful where did you even learn to speak English my stepmom held the most deadpan expression she could England oh boy it's about to go down if humans go extinct really no one will care that's that's true okay think about it like this people are made up of atoms and when you die your atoms go off and become other things this means that every girl would most likely be made up of atoms that were once an a dude so if you bang her you're you technically banging the dude and that's freaking gay oh man you had to let the world know did you know if your parachute doesn't deploy you have the rest of your life to fix it or not you spend your whole life gathering guests for your funeral a linguist dies at the funeral a fellow academic asks the wife do you mind if I say a word she nods he stands and says plethora and immediately sits down she says tearfully that means a lot oh I hate this what about infinity plus one what about infinity plus infinity that's not a number it's an expression no it's called to infinity and beyond did you know the Japanese flag is actually a pie chart of the amount of Japan in Japan whoa most people think that T Rexes can't clap because they have short arms but really it's because they're all dead oh when you find someone who completes you oh my man it's just a better way of throwing a rock yes a much better way also a lot louder though reserved for green vehicles yep there it is he's right he's a hundred percent correct get this man on metal or a trophy that says good boy without you 60 minutes feels like one hour oh I love you okay well there it is people on Jupiter must look at earth and think it's a planet for ants earth is a planet for ants what the heck is this common thread he's not a drug dealer mom he's a freelance unlicensed pharmacist probably makes more money write a sentence write one sentence about how your life today is different from Theodore Roosevelt's life I am alive and he already died sometimes I forget that mermaidman and barnacleboy or humans that are the size of a squirrel or a sandy the size of a human huh huh for 21 national surprise drug test day thank God we haven't adopted that spaghetti tastes like spaghetti no no no corn Add Comment what animal would be cutest have scaled down to the size of a cat cats that is correct is this orange or yellow that's a frickin car door I guess you technically have two minutes to live but every time you breathe it restarts the clock oh ho I don't like one bit my tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city drive a $500,000 vehicle and that I'm paid to travel my dates are always upset when I tell them I'm a bus driver oh it is the dad jokes Twitter teacher you can't breathe underwater me oh you smartass Biden's war on drugs says describe Obama's presidency in one word Obama okay how many artifacts are in the British Museum at least two well I would hope that's correct he looks like a combination of his biological mother and father oh my gosh she does doesn't he tell me everything you know the best barber can never receive the best haircut I still don't get Bitcoin all right imagine if keeping your car idling 24/7 produced solved Sudokus you could trade for heroin now that thank you thank you well well well ha ha ha he said it egg one of the most popular forms of child to eat what are the other forms Canada is a myth what Canada is a myth like Zeus or vaccines what do you want discord you know dang well that's not what I said dumbass Oh a chair whatever he is on I would like to be on that too based on statistical evidence I'm immortal how so haven't died yet interviewer I want to ask you a question your answer should be quick me OK 12 plus 37 quick shut up living has always been a large part of my life I was born at an incredibly young age and ever since then I've been alive oh that's inspiring deaf people that are missing a finger have a speech impediment Oh yikes I'm still mad about the alien shirt wish sent me Alan in space nobody can hear you in space why are you mad about that that's great in Sweden it is forbidden by law to be a criminal oh wow they're so progressive they're cheese is just a loaf of milk she's right and I'm scared this implies a liquid form of bread beer oh my god okay I know no one cares but seriously I can't stand green jelly beans and I love red jelly beans but I'm red green colorblind do you see my problem I can see your problem but you can't reasons why I don't let my girlfriend use my air pods I don't have air pods I don't have a girlfriend looks about right to me Oh floor you're always there for me so supportive not like walls and staircase is always getting in my way law being on your phone while driving is illegal this guy that's a middle finger if I've ever seen one Americans have literally no banter I don't know what country this is coming from but we've probably beaten you in a war at some point I'm American Civil War Oh what do you use to make toast an actual toaster grill grate or bread gee thanks hey don't wait for me I'm at the hospital is everything okay I'm okay it's just my cousin he can't speak her walk oh my god what freakin happened nothing serious he was just born two hours ago they had us in the first half not gonna lie Patrick Starr license to kill oh my god Patrick can you be your own grandpa suppose you marry a widow who already has a grown-up daughter and your father marries the widows grown-up daughter now the widow's daughter becomes your mother since your mother's mother is your wife your wife is also your grandmother as the husband of your grandmother you become your own grandpa yes thanks I have seen the stupids I wonder what the median ages in New York City younger than it was last week yikes I can't believe you've done this all of How I Met Your Mother is narrated from the perspective of Ted Mosby so what I'm really saying here is that all of How I Met Your Mother is a TED talk thank you for coming to his TED talk Germany really wasn't screwing around with the emergency fund for freelancers the applications went live on Friday and 5,000 euro grants have already been transferred into people's accounts as of yesterday because they know the consequences of a frustrated painter choosing a new occupation Oh God it's important that we don't let our son down okay honey dad why do you keep me locked in the Attic ask your mother oh Jesus people who have their crap together how lots of fiber that's fair people born in the 1600s starter pack yeah I'm digging it man woman white black poor rich Asian cave cave man okay when a free ride in a police car just by shoplifting from this store lucky winners can also get their name in the newspaper for their friends and family to see won't mom be so proud mine would be suddenly all of humanity loses the ability to lie what happens we certainly will talk a lot less that's right then what life code do you live by me I asked an EOD guy once about the stress of bomb defusing and he shrugged and said it's not either I'm right or suddenly it's not my problem anymore he's a glass half-full kind of guy I can tell named this plant please George I guess I got what I asked for what rock group has four men that don't sing what Mount Rushmore get out that's right get out get out if the university burns down or is destroyed otherwise all current students immediately graduate with a bachelor's degree hey Ferb I know what we're gonna do today every student in Hiroshima and Nagasaki got a degree more degrees than they asked for oh my god dude what would you do with 1 billion dollars become a billionaire dude same same thank you Wikipedia crashed what were you doing when the crash happened eating a bean and cheese taco Thanks what's your favorite quote you build a man a fire he stays warm for the night set a man on fire and he stays warm for the rest of his life what's your secret for always staying down-to-earth well I mean gravity oh I love this man you don't wash your hands they wash each other and you just sit there and watch change my mind no guys be careful this video has nudity thanks Yoda at the start of every disaster movie there's a scientist being ignored and it makes for a good movie what's the problem what happens if I put water in the freezer be a lot cooler if you did when you realize that the barrel costs more than the oil oh my god it's true has a gut feeling or instinct saved your life if so how not eating a block of metal has saved my life a few times in the 1964 movie Zulu reel Sulu tribesman played themselves congratulations you played yourself and it was a good movie two Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap I can vouch for that Bob 111 England's oldest man says key to reaching 111 is avoiding dying ah he has such a way with words cigarette companies kill their best customers and condom companies kill their future customers if you could rearrange the T and the a in your name that'd be great cop whose car is this where are you headed what do you do minor mine say it with me vacuums don't cause autism well I would certainly hope not how do I get a flat stomach by tomorrow no no that's how you get a flat everything by tomorrow I speak Spanish let me translate oh okay now I get it thanks what happened to you I swallowed some Scrabble tiles looks like your next crap could spell disaster daddy why is that book so thick it's a long story pastor's sermon got a youtube comment from a bot in Indonesia and now his bio says he's an internationally acclaimed speaker he's not wrong water froze on the car door like this lol how could it be possible it's cold very cold X exists mathematicians I don't know who you are but I will find you I'm a genie and will grant you three wishes what is your first I want to be rich what is your second wish rich Oh No weather rock dead-on weather predictor if the rock is wet it is raining if it's warm it's sunny that's why it's snowing if it's moving it's windy no I see what your eyes see what you're doing here oh my god dude yeah this is incredible actually no it's a t-rex head no no no I'm not letting you take this one away that's amazing I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging a few years ago since then my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful well good for you just take some determination out there I tell you what why were you absent at yesterday's match because I didn't come that's fair so I was at Walmart earlier a lady was looking at frozen turkeys but she couldn't find one big enough she asked the stock boy do these turkeys get any bigger he replied with a straight face no ma'am they're dead made my week about how long is twenty seconds two verses of happy birthday three vines 20 Mississippi 30 Maine ten bars of most pop songs ten bars of Greek music oh man I'm not even trying that 20 seconds of screaming oh thanks I've come out of this a lot smarter why does he call milk white stuff because it's white okay who are these two wrong answers only doctors oh snap white okay Barack Obama former Chicago resident oh yeah that guy doctor what happens after we die we clean the bed and admit a new patient in reality plants are actually farming us by giving us oxygen daily until we eventually decompose so they can consume us they're the real long game players did you know wrapping your leg and cabbage makes your like smell like cabbage Thanks in the movie Avengers endgame before snapping his fingers Robert Downey jr. says and I am Iron Man this is a subtle nod to his older movies Iron Man Iron Man Sioux Avengers Iron Man three Avengers age of Ultron Captain America Civil War spider-man Home Coming Avengers infinity war and a cameo in the Incredible Hulk where Robert Downey jr. in fact played the role of Iron Man I can smell alcohol yeah that's because you're not respecting social distancing that's true officer six feet dude global automobile sales 1571 ad no data something seems weird here all languages travel at the speed of sound except sign language that travel at the speed of light Oh baby Mars is the only known planet inhabited solely by robots it's gonna stay that way for a while why did the monkey fall out of the tree because it was dead oh it's my favorite bedtime story everyone's favorite truck brand dawg oh I wonder what's going on under that roof yeah massive water damage if I had to guess Oh No what the heck is this oh okay yeah that's real clever guy this printer is here temporarily in the greater scheme of things aren't we all rick astley for prime minister he'll never give you up let you down and run around desert you or make you cry say goodbye tell a lie or hurt you it's my boy hey [ __ ] have you seen my Oh My glob are you playing with yourself get out get out Americans will use anything except the metric system physical distancing maintain a distance of at least one alligator between each other can somebody smell Florida rise and shine uh-huh oh my god this is not a drill I repeat this is not a drill you aren't correct did you know there was a serial killer named Albert Fish he wrote letters to his victims parents to tell them how good their children tasted so he wrote food reviews Oh oh god that's awful and with that we have come to the end of the video folks always remember if you enjoyed this video drop a like down below and hey if you really enjoyed the video consider subscribing and clicking a bell icon and until next we meet I'll be seeing ya you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,531,506

Rating: 4.950449 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth emkay, technicallythetruth, technicallythetruth emkay, reddit truth, truth, reddit puns, dad jokes, puns, emkay technicallythetruth

Id: EnYBIjknbZo

Length: 15min 40sec (940 seconds)

Published: Mon May 25 2020