r/Technicallythetruth | i guess that's true?

it's so hard being a single mom when you have no kids in our mail teenager damn hope it gets better for you chief what's up guys and welcome back to MA my name is Damian today working through our slash technically the truth being kissed in your sleep is like the purest form of love unless you're home alone now see I got a big problem with that because I love being kissed by Casper but go when I'm home alone I there's little low eskimo kisses from Casper the Friendly Ghost that what keeps me going your heartbeat is probably perfectly synchronized with someone else's especially if you dead in fact you're all synchronized after that I am a cat yes you are fella yes you are I love them he doesn't look too happy did you give him the hourglass I see it by his paw it doesn't look like you wanted to play the game of your chief eight medical procedures that are improving lives aren't aren't all medical procedures supposed to be improving lives not just those eight the rest are meant to harm memes and a statistically more popular than Jesus Christ every day we stray further from God statistically speaking that's absolutely correct but is there a problem with that really me memes are funny you seen the stinky monkey me know that's my favorite one this is not a drill I repeat this is not a drill knots a hammer Isaac Newton died a virgin that means I have one up on history's greatest scientific genius because I'm not dead Mike Bettes science a new scientific study claims that fertility is hereditary if your parents didn't have any children chances are you won't either nah so what if my mom and dad didn't have kids let me naik oh wait now see now see you you're a bit of a smartass buddy my parents didn't have any kids they aren't parents what do you think I'm dumber than you did you know there are more airplanes in the ocean than submarines in the sky well I would hope wait a minute no airplanes are just sky submarines I don't like this at all airplanes are just submarines that soar like that is the only difference I found this coupon apparently it's good for five dollars off anything in any store neat let me think you're funny huh think you're funny show me a crisp five-dollar bill saying it's a coupon coupons it's supposed to save me money I'm losing it with that with that zilch the Fox if you don't watch a series entirely you are not a true fan if you do watch a series entirely you're not a true fan you are only a true fan if you're powered by electricity have multiple flat blades and spin around really fast otherwise get out of my face I'm hot too need to cool down what's your name Oh Peter without an F but there's no F and Peter yeah that's what I said I said that so that's my name Peter no F give a man plane ticket and he'll fly for a day but push a man out of a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life start really flying as much as it is plummeting but okay flying is sustained plummeting at a certain distance so I was in my room and I saw a group of like ten ants just running frantically I felt bad so I made a small house for them out of a cardboard box this totally makes me their landlord they're my 10 ants oh that's a knee-slapper I slap my knee twice for that one - nice slaps how many jokes that's not that's my Yuk Yuk's it gets out of me listening to ac/dc hell yeah you want me oh yeah you are I love the face on this guy though he's what are you telling you what secrets is that outlet Tonya about ac/dc huh isn't there a medical condition that makes your breath smell like alcohol alcoholism maybe that's the term you're looking for Jay you're an alcoholic that's your medical condition and we can either lot of Mexican food or as the locals would call it food how can you be fed just eat healthily and exercise how are you homeless just get a house how can you be depressed just cheer up how can you have ADHD just pay attention and most importantly how can you have asthma just breathe screw attractive people and that's the plan yeah I'd really like to hear the reasoning behind women who won't take their husband's last name Emily best says because my last name is best yeah it is I haven't met a single person who doesn't like my movie Bharat I don't like this movie and I've never met you that's 200 IQ place Salman when your bike when you're bipolar versus when you're bipolar that's a good well that's a silly one right there the blood test came back positive you have B L Oh Luigi says blood the snap chat icon update that's a bold move and got a health savvy silly bug and see what you did there got fire alarm installed on this the ceiling indeed it is someone lost control I'm getting cuz he lost his control team it's funny ahead yep yeah it is me making you a girlfriend on the couch her you want to take this to the bedroom alright I'll grab this and you get the other now listen I could go a lot of ways do they continue making out on the couch when it gets to the bedroom or is it that like just for you know aesthetic design there's more questions that we had that answers that I'm getting from this beware the Crocs they're everywhere we've lost five men to them just these floating shoes of evil 911 see my wife's going into labor I don't know what to do is this her firstborn no this is her husband not the time for a dad joke he's ready weather rock dead-on weather predictor if rock is wet it's raining warm it's sunny white it's snowing moving it's windy oh the weather rocky knows all could I predict my future at the a squeegee subreddit what killed Michael Jackson de8 eh death okay goodbye did you know glass is called glass because it's made of glass oh yeah think you're a funny guy huh he's so sort of comedian ah yes enslaved enslaved moisture I'm always more than happy to pose for pictures with fans but we're a tell that's a real funny guy that's one I'm not mad at he is a funny guy look at that smile it's a winning smile he's got a charm to him I like it hey don't wait for me I'm at the hospital is everything okay I'm okay it's just my cousin he can't speak or walk oh my god what frickin happened nothing serious he was just born two hours ago they had me in the first half not gonna lie what do hedgehogs eat food thanks google buy a one burger for the price of two and receive a second burger absolutely free that's a steal friends are like snowflakes when you pee on them they disappear not true you still have good enough friends I guess me and my friends would pee on each other all the time still best friends of this day if not just a little smelly things strict parents think they're teaching you how to behave what they actually teach you how to listen for footsteps how to appear busy how to manipulate someone into calming down and how to lie on the spot that's how to behave though insane fact the blue whale is so large that if it were laid long way a basketball court the game to be kids that's just coward basketball players if I was the coach I'd make them play all the way through with that blue all right in the middle you know what's T and I'm thought of them do it double dribble I like your name Thanks I got it for my birthday you sly rat it's a great response Oh sweetie you feel warm and you look positively green warm green those are all the symptoms of steamed broccoli he's sick Timmy's dad your boy is sick what race would you erase from existence forever for London Mina it doesn't have the fast sprinting excitement of the 100-meter but doesn't let long-distance want to show what they can do like the 800 meter plus races it's just kind of like a Crabby middle ground nobody likes white you hey I want to take my relationship with Sarah to the next level what should I do show her your man his name is Grover Sarah didn't like it too much though she said what the Frick come on come on girl come on don't say that about Grover idk a mysterious abbreviation no one actually seems to know what it means yes someone what does idk mean ago I don't know who does who knows this is my brother's page he owns his own company he is the boss he's literally the only employee from complete termite and pest control congratulations to Jonathan Warrington for being employee of the month Jonathan will get a three day and night all-expense-paid hunting & fishing trip to Arkansas fur is hard work Jonathan quotes it with I'm thankful to have a great boss but don't you get it Jonathan Hugh hi your boss hey James you're totally cool on this pick up forgot to take off my glasses could you remove them there you go yes judge I do have something to say if you truly are what you eat the nominees in Man Man you let him go he said it eats innocent men Bob 111 years old England's oldest man says key to reaching 111 is avoiding dying and that's advice I take with me every day it's why I cover myself in bubble wrap nothing could possibly touch me ketchup is a liquid made from a fruit and contains 20% sugar that makes it a soda however some people are demanding that soda requires carbonated water I guess that makes ketchup a sports drink like Powerade you like that like you made me do you want your ketchup Powerade you've you dirty dirty bad is there anything worse than a Lego for stepping on in the middle of the night yeah yeah a landmine summer camps are requiring children to get vaccinated amid measles fears do the offer camps for kids that aren't vaccinated yeah they're called cemeteries Carla mate without fates called fish love that meat without feet hell yeah so what kind of music are you into I am a huge metal fan I mean yeah yes yeah yes I like that it's a it's a Microsoft Office what are they doing in there do you think people Microsoft to use the products at Microsoft to do their job like do you reckon they use Word and PowerPoint and stuff I would hope they do imagine you're a moth and you're single day of existence was spent being in Lord of the Rings the moth to which Gandalf whispers was born truly before filming that day and died soon after the scene was finished a short life but a well-spent one holds the record for greatest percentage of lifespan spent on screen a true thespian shoutout moth hope you're in a better place if we make murder legal there will be a lot less criminals just come to me for ideas I got plenty of them what's the problem of yours that would be solved as someone just gave you $5,000 not having $5,000 cough it up it's real problem when you're watching The Office Season 5 episode 24 and you pause it at 17 minutes and 31 seconds it fits the scene without using numbers how old are you 31 okay now listen here you little crap you'll turn listen to me I said without numbers and yet here you are spelling it out respect that world's oldest man becomes world's youngest corpse I mean yeah he did momentarily me my wife is having a baby colleague oh my god you know what it is no it's a person but smaller you know sitting you carry around travel sized welcome to speedway unleaded s 265 DS loss 279 and a 14-inch pizza $6.99 well the 14-inch pizza is still feel just not for your car hey wait a minute wait just a second that's right he's correct that's technically the truth a hole has appeared in the road on Albion Street Spaulding police are looking into it look a guy look at look at that gentleman he's looking into it the best thing I heard today was a pregnant woman arguing with a partner and she said I have Oh brains and you have one yeah Maya facts and logic shadow look out look look out liberal look out you pair with liberals I got facts and logic maybe go toe to toe with me a wordsmith a Smith of the words your dad's been under a lot of pressure lately and look if it's a family at calling he's a dime and that's a funny little science joke for you nerds out there don't call the racist at McDonald's today tell us what happened lad called racist into McDonald's yeah but why yeah I was being racist yeah you know maybe just a little just to take you a little bit of racism from me I'm a damn person once you've read the dictionary every other book you read is just a remix I haven't seen this one yet and that caught me off guard a little bit I'm not gonna lie to you you and this round cheese actually that's a rectangle cheese yeah I'd like to remind people that if they would have suddenly wake up in Eastern Europe four hundred and thirty thousand years ago they they'd probably be dead in two weeks that's absolutely not true I'd be dead in one week if you were dead in one week you'd also be dead in two weeks just putting it out there letting you know a bridge built for a river to cross a river well what does this accomplish it lets one River cross the other creates a full new body of water if you're a RN I need your help ASAP Oh real warm what's wrong no I'm talking about registered nurse I'm sorry gosh-darn don't I just love spending my evening updating windows 10 hey there we wanted to check in how is your device running after the update no I can't run buddy ain't got no legs my computer has no legs windows why would you ask me such a question oh I hate the street hate everything about it runners be like yeah I'm gonna go for a run burger with only one sesame seed on it hey it said sesame seed but not sesame seeds button okay bud you get what you paid for all my teachers said to become clever I should study Shakespeare not true Shakespeare never studied Shakespeare and he went on to become Shakespeare mmm that's a nice ham that's a nice handy got there be ashamed so I'm putting Ness in front of it into me behind it get it design a hammer that encourages sharing easy not a sickle to it you always smell so nice what do you use me shower if it's in stock who we have it but what are you gotten stuck toothbrush taped to the ceiling you get the toothbrush up there hey did you know the universe is about 93 billion light years in diameter that's larger than two football fields at least two twin super realize that one of them was unplanned jokes on them I threw up in the toilet you okay yeah take a look you're gonna be blocked if you keep that up button okay you're on the last iyanya last straw with me and that brings us to the end of our slash technically the truth and if you liked the video leave a like down below and subscribe for more content from MK and as always I'll be seeing you you [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 2,754,909

Rating: 4.9344907 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth best posts, r/technicallythetruth top posts, technicallythetruth, technically the truth, reddit technicallythetruth, reddit truth, technically the truth emkay, technically the truth reddit, reddit funny, r/technicallythetruth emkay, emkay

Id: 5o3yne5jL3M

Length: 14min 11sec (851 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 21 2019