r/Technicallythetruth | He really do be doing that

this truckers living in 2099 oh that's genius he's watching a trailer I hate you is this considered fan art well let's take a look cry Lant ik yes that very much is considered fan art hey make sure you go and follow cry Lant ik sucks on instagram there's some pretty cool stuff also she definitely doesn't suck okay also I'm very sorry if I read your name wrong I only learned how to read last week and it's really stressful hey what's up everyone welcome back to Ma you know who it is it's Robin and today I'm gonna be perusing through our slash technically the truth oh boy the best kind Florida man tells neighbors he's going to kill them with kindness then tries to kill them with a machete he named kindness uh he didn't lie I can't tell if he's wearing pants it doesn't look like it but raccoons typically don't wear clothing well not typically two guys with a banner get these guys to Mardi Gras oh look at Scott there Scott's head when pun becomes life I was born at a very young age as opposed to being born like Benjamin Button 100% of the people who breathe oxygen died same statistic applies for water who killed more people in the Bible God or Satan yeah God's a little vengeful huh it's quick it's easy and it's free pouring river water and your sucks why would I do that it's quick it's easy and it's free oh thanks official United States this is not a drill it's a shovel yes it is a very tiny one what rhymes with orange no it doesn't I have a crush on this dude who doesn't lesbians probably I guess you're right fun fact the shovel was a groundbreaking invention cigarette companies killed their best customers and condom companies kill their future customers all for the good of mankind all pleasures are guilty pleasures if you have high enough anxiety thanks for reminding me Ryan reply with more than two words more than two words no yes there should only be two bathroom types one specifically for me and another for everyone else there is it's called a diaper Oh No if you replace the W and when where and what with tea you get their answers no I hate you what's the trashiest thing you've witnessed a dumpster same actually if you're lonely dim all the lights and put on a horror movie after a while it won't feel like you're alone anymore if both basketball teams just work together they could score so many more points oh I never thought about it that way hawk he has no legs and climbs Everest what's your Excuse his legs won't hurt mine will judging by the photo at least half of his legs will hurt love is like a fart if you force it you're gonna make a mess what okay is it really common for all of you to fart and crap your pants is that just what happens with y'all bone the 206 oh I see shut up who's running the NZXT Twitter me Oh what would you look at that rich people are just poor people with money oh you scholarly lad you you can't buy hot pockets you can only buy called pockets you're expected to supply the heat yourself don't believe the lies I don't know growing up there was a deli down the road that I could buy a fully hot pocket for way better than the ones you get frozen you don't actually know what day you were born you're just taking everyone's word for it it's hard to argue with his assessment very hard to argue with it if at first you don't succeed you fail ah food is an important part of a balanced diet I would imagine that's true there was a spider on my desk but it's under control now huh cool it looks like it's time for a new keyboard when you ask for someone's name you're essentially asking them what noise you should make to get their attention yes that is how languages that are spoken work interviewer why'd you leave your last job me because of something my boss said it says here you were fired that's the thing he said if you have an organ donor card you drop loot when you die yeah my lutes common not very helpful at all when you become famous you're called a legend because your leg ends what your leg it ends I'm not a linguist but I think that's wrong are you saying that your leg doesn't end I mean at some point it does yes then what's the problem what's something socially acceptable today that might get banned in the next 100 years wearing a mask Bank Translate Google birth control pills anti baby Finland pie chart pie chart not pie chart oh I see I will beat all of you in rock-paper-scissors you go first paper scissors oh my god they were right Sherlock and Watson oh how cute Loki the number 87 looks like Phineas ah dang it now I can't unsee that did you know that if you put your ear up to a stranger's leg you can hear them saying what the hell are you doing I'm gonna have to try that to verify it I'll get back to you I want to be Michael Jordan when I grow up what do you need to achieve your dreams get bigger shave my head be black okay who is this wrong answers only Anakin Skywalker Jedi Master oh that hurts it's faster to say world-wide-web than it is to say www that is very true always has been though one insect facts carpenter ants are about a centimeter long that's less than one football field is it if he wasn't dead he'd still be alive today you know you're right Jay you're so right if you look like this then like this and back like this it's safe to cross the street I always wondered when it was actually safe anxiety is literally just conspiracy theories about yourself Matthew I needed to hear that today Lord forgive me for what I'm about to do what what are you about to do something that requires Lord's forgiveness Oh God that could be anything I love the because of obi-wan memes because of obi-wan friend girlfriend boyfriend bestfriend only high-resolution full-color backlit display and built in math print feature the ti-84 plus CE graphing calculator has no end wow that's one heck of an advertising plan for home meetings background for video conferences this is gold it is yellow news God answers prayers of paralyzed little boy no says God oh dang it I don't know where I'll be when it happens but when Weird Al dies no one will see me for about a week same I love that man sometimes when one door closes in life another one opens crap different craft always always man did you know if your parachute doesn't deploy you have the rest of your life to fix it well that's the scariest truth of all he's getting the F out of there thank God it's about time it's been out there for so long blow my mind hmm everyone once held the title of being the youngest person in the world oh yeah not for very long though women like to choose shampoo which insults them the most for broken greasy destroyed screwed up here which makes you ugly as hell it's for me that's a little hard to read if you work hard then you play hard if you hide then you hide draw a dotted quarter-note oh I see where his brain went the complete opposite direction it should have all the info was there except for the info that isn't there oh gee thank you that's very helpful a belly button is basically a scar from when you got into a knife fight with a guy in a mask after being evicted from your first place except they use scissors to cut the umbilical cord so a scissor fight scissors are technically two knives stuck together that sucker was dual wielding this got me more than it should have society if we built things differently oh wow now that's pretty T I have no clue why but every time I hear pi is irrational I think of the PI symbol angrily screaming that the moon landing was staged and the earth is flat to be fair the moon landing was staged we didn't just accidentally land on the moon there was some planning to it if you love milk chocolate but don't like dark chocolate you actually like sugar more than chocolate if you like pickles but don't like cucumbers you actually like vinegar more than cucumbers if you like roasted chicken but not raw chicken you actually like the heat from your oven more than chicken hi I'm here to eat aren't we all when the robber stabs you but you're in the living room a nice try idiot look it was only a matter of time before something like this happened okay teacher a person that helps you solve problems you'd never have without them Oh No how do you make one vanish add a G and it's gone English teachers what's the longest a walrus can hold its breath for technically speaking a walrus can hold its breath for the rest of its life all of us can that's nothing new did you know scuba divers roll backwards off boats because if they rolled forward they would just go into the boat true isn't it if you go home with someone and they have the banner of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall that's a big red flag yeah yes it is humans used to read things on Scrolls now we scroll to read things oh uh it seems pretty deep me IRL what piece of cake won't hurt the cake fat who makes a cake for Father's Day a baker duh Hollywood in reality Austria triggered both world wars cutting edge technology that's it that's the whole post I've got nothing to say Johnny Depp's son looks exactly like him and it's almost as if they're related oh come on with that headline are you serious if you attempt to rob a bank you'll have no trouble with food rent or bills for the next ten years regardless of your success what if you died during the robbery then you'd have money for the rest of your life Oh what's the game that best describes you destiny - shut up destiny tow kid on the street are you Twite nope yeah you are I'm the biggest office fan can I get a pic what's my name uh I don't know then you're not the biggest office fan funny I never really had that problem made with two hands because none of our employees have three fare just finish sanding my tires so that my car rides smoother on the interstate and honestly I kind of love this look that's a smooth way to see God and a fast one too the feeling of stepping on the wet floor with dry socks is the same as stepping on the dry floor with wet socks take it and go what is the pettiest silliest most meaningless hill that you're willing to die on there was a hill near where I grew up that we call top of the world where you could see most of our small town there was a little gravel parking lot where people could park and it was maybe a 200 yard walk to the point not many people knew about it except the locals and it was kind of windy but if I had to pick a hill then I guess I would pick that one I'm quick at math okay what's 38 times 76 24 that's not even close but it was quick ah I got five pounds of carrots from a restaurant supplier it's for carrots holy cow I thought you wanted to smash I did oh he meant that one you know people treat me like a god how they ignore my existence unless they need something yeah okay somebody said the ladies will find me a lot more attractive if I post pictures with filters I have some doubts but what do I know right so here goes man my phone's probably really gonna blow okay I get it how I see the moon versus how I see the moon in a picture the first one is also a picture oh shut up you could have died man the doctor said all my bleeding was internal that's where the Bloods supposed to be if someone has earbuds on in public they don't want to have a conversation yeah that's very very very true that's not technically the truth that's just the truth girls boys never open up to each other me telling the boys about the time I tried to suck my own ding-dong fun activities that are six feet apart that looks a little bit more than six feet she looks so squishy why would you use that adjective anyone know where the girls from from this meme you're not wrong without using numbers how old are you 31 sheriff you rode in the back of a truck and lived well the people who didn't live wouldn't be around to share oh did you know when a snake bites you and you feel pain that's because it hurts don't forget to drink water and get Sun you're basically a houseplant with complicated emotions and I'm a lot larger and more pale and I'm stupid eating ass should really be called doing crack but y'all are just not ready for that conversation no I think we're ready can we start that convo like right now what would you do in this situation die yeah I think everybody would not much more you can do there speedrunners are literally spending all of their time and games trying not to spend much time in games well yes but actually no manager I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to let you go employee why what have I done don't think of it as being fired think of it as being promoted to a customer you're giving me my job back what no I'm not the customer is always right I feel like this is one of those things that would work one time in human history and then pass that point good luck get in the Halloween spirit and make a ghost that's called murder and I heard somewhere that it was illegal yes it's only illegal in Wyoming customer I'd like to return this vacuum cleaner employee why it sucks what do you crows eat food Oh so do we that's so crazy Goku and Vegeta aren't yelling they're super saying man that one makes me mad and I've never even seen the show me I had an animal in my car's totaled am I covered insurance yes what did you hit a fish in the first Transformers movie Megatron is trying to find the cube and Sam has the glasses with the coordinates he sends barricade to go interrogate Sam where are the glasses we've already established that transformers can learn Earth's languages and hack the military computers in seconds Sam is selling the glasses on eBay why didn't Megatron just buy the glasses the captcha got them Oh almost 60% of Scottish coronavirus deaths have been in Scotland uh I would imagine so what has four letters occasionally has 12 letters always has six letters but never has five letters my mailbox no what the oh my god what happened I put tape on my fingers oh never mind it's less interesting than I thought fun fact ever wonder why it's called The Iliad because ilium was another name for Troy and the ad suffix was used to mean the story of this means that if you translated the title The Iliad should actually be called Troy story thanks I hate it you got a friend and horse you do not have a friend in horse did you know that NASA has proved that the distance from the Sun to the earth is equal to the distance from the earth to the Sun oh whoa what only exists because humans are dumb school listen here you little I heard Mars has no atmosphere could we create an atmosphere by dimming the lights and playing smooth jazz who are you who are so wise in the ways of science thanks for the dinner Taco Bell you're welcome Joe what'd you get I got diarrhea but it was worth it seriously am I the only one that doesn't get diarrhea from practically every fast-food restaurant oh don't like that wetsuit at all bad well that's not a good sign no little stick man no it isn't Pepsi tastes like soap what kind of soap do you use Pepsi Oh as a child I promised my mother I would win the Nobel Prize in Physics fifty years later I said to my mother see I kept my promise I won the Nobel Prize no said my mother you promised it would be in physics oh man 20 years ago we had Johnny Cash Bob Hope and Steve Jobs today we have no cash no hope and no jobs oh god that's so stupid Medusa has to be the sexiest woman in history one glance and your hard love men bakes bread once the genius who discovered toast it's even tastier the second time was Karl Marx right no he was left when you realized that today is Mother's Day surprise mother you'll see the full one on Father's Day oh boy not all turtles were born in the wild summer bred in captivity man he's so cute I wish he was real sir I'm afraid to tell you that your DNA is reversed and shut up guys I forgot Mike Wazowski only had one eye I was so used to seeing the first picture if you chop his legs off you decapitate him oh that's a grizzly image Jesus please we need the dough well I hope you're doing that and just like that we've come to the end of another video always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed this video make sure to hit the like button down below and hey if you really liked it make sure you're subscribed and hit the bell icon and until next time I'll be seeing ya you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 2,877,363

Rating: 4.9465957 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth emkay, technicallythetruth, technicallythetruth emkay, reddit truth, truth, reddit puns, dad jokes, puns, emkay technicallythetruth

Id: HTNuBf1GKTE

Length: 16min 54sec (1014 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 12 2020