r/Facepalm | No you don't

when more eyes invented good day everyone welcome to you a little dose of m'kay my name's Jack my voice is a little bit stuffy today it's time to start jacking on to the facepalm content remember to live long love as a recently divorced housewife this is so uplifting megalodon the shark that lived about 60 million years ago how did he live 60 millions years ago of the earth is only two thousand and twenty years old don't worry guys we got Oscar here to clarify this stupid comment well he lived in the sea not in the earth never mind guys Oscar made it worse I'm gonna leave this planet now in ladakh maximum temperature is negative four degrees centigrade and minimum temperature is negative one degree centigrade correct me if I'm wrong Radio Pakistan but I'm pretty sure negative one is hotter than negative four and therefore the maximum apparently this post was made in retaliation to something India did it's a bit complicated to talk about here but basically they try to do something smart and sneaky but they just came across as idiots Houston woman who was driving SUV toward her children in apparent game of chicken struck and killed her three-year-old son no I have never wanted to punch someone so much before Holi yeah monkey monkey go to avoid D monetization but goddamn just please go to jail why is this latias with different colors it's sick or something oh yeah dude that's actually rare really it's a sick thing if you don't heal the problem with your die but don't worry I actually have the the cure for it online save so if you actually want to trade it to me I can I can take care of what no no don't believe all people are saying online about no Chinese not a thing now Matt don't worry about that no no I traded to me dude TL DR try the number one longest-lasting double-a battery in the world how do you do hello kids you think you know us from the back of your dad's remote but you're wrong and it dries our ultimate lithium is more powerful than anything your dad this is not TL DR and also why is my dad being brought into this energizer this was a sad pathetic attempt to be relatable shame on you playlist he dies Tom and Jerry Tom dies try YouTube kids an app made just for children hey I see you're watching kid-friendly content on murder are /ban video games we must ban video games because they are a plague upon humanity Gilmer's a holding society back and be stopped what are they bleeping the word games and Camus that's definitely what you should do if you want to have your movement be taken seriously that's just ignoring the whole fact that Animal Crossing can apparently destroy society that said I don't agree with animal Crossing's idea of supporting colonialism I think it's extremely wrong and should be banned from all Western society as a bad influence on how we should behave is Hebrew a fake language not sure what you mean by a fake language but Hebrew was spoken by nine million people it dates back to the 10th century BCE it's one of Israel's official languages I love the dot points it shows that Misha clearly isn't gonna waste any more time on this person's stupid question oh I thought this was a white girl singing probably cuz you're racist shut up shut up go get out or even come in we're currently nepo this is like some stupid trope you'd see the cartoon show just like ah yes I put the signs on it faith open when I read it here it's all good now all the customers will see it saying that well oh I hate this I hate this you poor silence is golden neighbors having complained of the noise once since I installed these full stars only because the package does not include an adhesive to install the panel's I bet that's not the only thing that gets golden in there but seriously how loud are you when you need to have some proof are you as rumbly as like the t-rex in Jurassic world 1 minute 2 ingredient instant donuts easy Jonas recipe well don't you dare get me hungry for donuts and melt in your mouth as yeast-raised onus these take two minutes to make hey hey oh here we go buckle up everybody it is a conspiracy time if you are addicted to cat and dog you have a nano chip in your body take videos photos of the truck and spread the news in the Internet all the diseases are created with computer all caries all dental diseases all skin diseases and all venereal diseases are created with computer you have diseases on your body you have a nano computer chip on your body more than 200 years of computer diseases say no to terrorists 21 all pain all infections all inflammations and all irritation are created with computer all cancer and all type of tumor are created with computer love the exceptional touch of the red and blue with the white stars to make you understand that yep this is America today one of my fourth-grade students renamed himself reconnecting on our zoom call and pretended that he was having internet issues to avoid participating in our lessons we were on the verge of greatness we were this close my mom just called me downstairs and asked me why am i files not downloading when I find this I come across these moments in real life too and I just have to wonder what what logic makes them think this is gonna work because I bet that powerboard isn't even connected to anything but the wall itself I don't know maybe she thought that USB was bluetooth and her being charged in was pairing the Bluetooth to connect to the computer maybe I don't know mother of two reveals how you can fit a soap dispenser in the pointless circle in the sink and cleaning enthusiasts call it a life-changing hack definitely life-changing my personal life changing hack actually is um I use a mirror to see my reflection and we are at historical lows temperature isn't static look how many we've added to the planet's population look at all the buildings of glass and stone and metal and all the highways and parking lots they absorb heat and people create it see once it's in caps lock it is factually correct I really do love Shakespeare's habit of stunning plays with conversations between two side characters that have little to no bearing on the plot as a whole he's just like you see these two [ __ ] they're gonna give you exposition and make a dick joke and then freak off for the rest of the show man I should actually know this but I'm pretty sure this isn't a habit of Shakespeare's he's done it a few times but like they'll still appear in the show every now and again too but I'm gonna rely on an actual Shakespeare expert to roast me in the comments below I can and tell big trees through the CDC for saying ah false information I see I'd say that is the truth not the actual statement seriously when is the statement gonna die vaccines don't cause autism they only infect you with nano chips which are then controlled via 5g radio waves like come on guys this is it's common sense what do you think of Apple's 700 pound macro Pro Wheels I think if you spend that much money on wheels you deserve to have the money taken away from you the children at my son's elementary school have started referring to me as a Karen and mocking my chic hairstyle is there anything I can do in the way of legal in two provinces there it is I am deeply offended well posting a question about suing 8 year old is probably the wrong way to beat the stereotype everyone stormed Big Cat Rescue Carol can't kill all of us I mean maybe not Carol but the big cats good hi I'm Ches lawyer here just leaving the statement that we don't confirm nor deny the possibility of Carol's involvement in her husband's death please don't sue is Carol okay it's all yours thanks man social distancing at Walgreens this chair is unavailable then get rid of it that's a full piece of paper isn't gonna stop someone for putting their ass cheeks on that thing now look maybe it's nailed on the ground or something oh hi hi you Japanese I'm Korean oh then uh Moshi Moshi and they ditched him for fair reasons that definitely wasn't Korean you idiot Wow read a premium you really enjoying that collection aren't you the best gift a mom ever gave was time spent on her knees hey none of that this is a church message okay it's very Christian what it's referring to is blah it's so nice to see down syndrome people employed I came here to say it looks like he has Down syndrome I'm happy he found a career path he seems to enjoy wholesome as brick he doesn't have down syndrome oh well thank God this was over the internet and not face-to-face is chick his Chicago estate I facepalm at this but some of y'all don't even know where Australia is so like this is nothing I don't want to alarm anyone but I think this church just challenged Jesus to a fight Jesus six o'clock parking lot time to crawl out of that cave and get your bless on pal one of the last survivors of the Pearl Harbor attack on USS Arizona has died some more images here Germans again yep the Germans were ruthless when they attacked Pearl Harbor don't encourage them the UK surgeon finds 27 missing contact lenses in woman's eye whoa you meant to remove them [ __ ] was seeing in ultra 4k HD yeah by the color of those things she was probably losing her eyes too she's really cool I'm half vampire because I'm not choking if I'm out in the Sun for like two or three minutes I begin to start sweating because light is the vampire's weakness but if I'm walking out at night I don't sweat so bad no sir I'm sorry you were not Edward Cullen that is not how vampires work and Oh God you would not survive where I live government struggles with decision whether to [ __ ] entire generation with debt or tax three billionaires a bit more yes ah shout out to the chaser and Chase's warning everything on the show was the bomb on TV for anyone not aware this is a satirical team yeah politics that's what we're here for on m'kay brother they put a tow zone slash no parking thing on their property so they're digging it out Hey look if it's legally their property they're allowed to do that though it kinda looks like it's on the street so I'm not sure what's going on here what if I told you that the creator of five nights at Freddy's also worked on this I tell you that I feel like I've missed out on an important piece of history on the Internet seriously who is this man or a thing I'm just gonna pretend it was the Michelin Man so I feel more related to this hi Samar Oh as you can see at the top it's a bid now you know to run 77 to 83 then we get down to a hundreds over on the the west coast over there and then in Phoenix not just a casual 1053 degrees yes someone's unfortunately I print the gate to hell down in Phoenix again so it's gonna be a bit spicy this weekend guys you might want to just bring those board shorts around to work huh today's unnecessarily gendered product exact same ingredients but the men's one is cheaper than buy the one for men but I don't want to effectively prove that this company's logic is redundant via my money purchases I want to make a statement on the Internet and not even see it through can this teenager use a rotary phone Hey look at these stupid kids they can't use a rotary phone they can't use a phone book wow it's almost like as technology advances older things slowly become useless and obsolete kind of like Ellen yeah man where'd all this hate for Ellen come lately like over the last week or so the Internet's just been growing against her like have I missed out on some stuff I am a free I am NOT man a number I know what it actually says but I'm not gonna give him that Oh how old is she eight months oh that's weird when the photo was over two years old and posted all over the Internet almost like you just grabbed a random baby photo and post it here it's really fun doing the voice of a judgmental mother it's all about 6x9 billboard we live in a world where some people praise someone who went to prison what in the actual Frick here's Martin Luther King jr. who was arrested and sent to jail because he and others were protesting the treatment of black Birmingham I'm not exactly seeing a correct comparison here like 669 was doing some legit criminal stuff he wasn't just protesting against you know decent human rights granted in his circumstances he did what he had to survive but still not exactly the same as Martin Luther King guys come on tornado watch official tornado watch that that's a baby it's a bit late to just be watching it may to evacuate have you ever noticed the popularity of white robots oh god here we go the reason for these shades of technological white maybe racism according to new research oh of course now imagine spray-painting the robot black CNN Headline becomes owning black robots may be a sign of being pro-slavery oh it's so true quarantine thoughts day five how do we know whether we all actually hear what if we all are deaf and lip-read and our brains just fill in the voices but people who were classed as deaf just struggle with filling in the voices uh yeah maybe just walk around the backyard for a little bit I think you need that my brother's neighbor got a birthday sign in their yard and I'm dead is that meant to say Morgan you see one word there even was that it seems to be their 18th I went to England and they spoke American why is this also they copied our city names like Boston New York Birmingham and the state of Hampshire why do they copy us also why do they say David Beckham is English when he's American I want to click on the report abuse button let me click on that report abuse button who's abusing my brain this hurts my brain oh my god I never actually realized rami malek played the the Pharaoh in night of the museum okay but why is there a white guy playing an Egyptian please tell me you're joking that is Rami Malek he is Egyptian that's why you don't let yourself get too pale otherwise your entire genetic history disappears apparently 14 best Chevy Camaro images that's that's no Chevy PlayStation 4 bundle yeah oh man this is a PlayStation 4 I see that the the P is that is like an artistic for I honestly forgot this thing even existed like did anyone buy this was it good considering it doesn't exist anymore I feel like I've already answered that question no surprise an imported company like Tesla is violating American law this is why I buy American cars like my Taurus that is a hundred percent made in the USA you do know Tesla is an American AHQ in Fermont CA right Nikola Tesla is Italian he didn't make the company Jesus Christ Nikola Tesla was a rounded like the 1700s Jesus Christ is American no get off the internet hey guys that's know what they're for madam you Dilys know that come on oh look it's Walmart ok I'm not surprised upgrade to legacy Edition and play modern warfare remastered so you telling me I can't access that even though I have the legacy Pro Edition yeah cool UNICEF help 7.5 million children a year yet takes in a modest five hundred and sixty million dollars a year that's sixty seven point two million dollars a child no that's just terrible maths oh hey it's my favorite mob in Minecraft the pinata donkey and all the mana potions yeah yes I've seen this video it's so funny this woman's being interviewed on morning TV saying that she's turned a dog vegetarian and won't eat meat anymore and they put two bowls out one of meat one with veggies and the dog goes straight for the meat doesn't even question it one thing they have a personal healthy lifestyle another thing to try and force it onto an animal that is a natural carnivore the nether portal defense in bed Wars targeted gaming copied you in a new vid we literally recorded it together the scientific term for breathing is hot respiration but ventilation I can't see this one to be honest I don't know usually they have like a circle around the thing you meant to focus on maybe some arrows pointing at it but I know I just I can't figure out what the joke is here I am in am only technically this is how it's meant to be spelled in America compared to Australia and England and other countries that spell it correctly so it's okay to hear you must listen with your ears and not your eyes well Jay next thing again if gel means I meant to eat in my mouth and prepare my Batman you're dead no now which meant you go the engine cowling of a Southwest Airlines plane from Dallas has been damaged after a person was struck and killed on the runway at Austin perched some International Airport cheese how did that even happen Texas ribs yours vegan-friendly yeah you can't do that with those two you can't put those two things together I see oh look it's what a conspiracy theorist does when you give them some facts and logic my friends that does is for our face palming relax breathe you done good please like the video to increase global IQ levels also subscribe if you haven't already we've got plenty more videos coming throughout the weekend on the channel so please do check them out that does it for me guys I'm no longer on I am now jacking off and that's it yeah that's the Jake flakes that was the J girls doing at the start awful circle by

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,243,463

Rating: 4.9471474 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/facepalm, r/facepalm top posts, r/facepalm best posts, facepalm, r/facepalm emkay, emkay facepalm, facepalm emkay, therewasanattempt, r/therewasanattempt, r/therewasanattempt emkay, therewasanattempt emkay, fails, reddit fails, fail compilation, jojo

Id: W3Nc9ZElZyQ

Length: 15min 55sec (955 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 03 2020