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meanwhile at the auditions for new x-men i can turn water into wine that sounds great for parties but not much use in a fight humans are 60 water cracking open the boys for a cold one i'll see hey guys welcome to mk my name is jack i'm the snack that smells back and today we're looking at a few cursed comments so rest your booty on that ct and get ready for some stuff that you wouldn't dare say out loud but i nobody will at the cost of my housemate questioning my sanity and well modesty as a human you bet i eagerly await for the awkward confrontations when i leave this room why do boys die earlier than us i don't know the boys women and children first aha boys planning their dinner i see myth the highest honor in gaming is beating a kid so hard they rage quit fact the highest honor in gaming is beating a kid so hard he sent you a friend request i disagree the highest honor in video games is beating a kid so hard that he finds where you live and shoots the hell out of you now now you are looking far too much into it my friends the highest honor in gaming is beating a kid this was posted unironically on facebook we're not suicidal we're angels that want to go back home oh hitler was an angel uh stop that please when you carry your personal cloud everywhere you go wow so powerful she's influencing the weather too as a retired retoucher this is officially my favorite post of the year so far huh you're an ex-priest chinese man spends 400 000 to buy a slaughterhouse and saves two thousand dogs absolutely snack time why are crocodiles thick i like a big i like them chunky because the children were slow oh great hey it's lightning mcqueen tell us a bit about yourself man nothing is better than watching hentai after winning the piston cup race okay i regret asking what do you consider it's your greatest sexual achievement haven't slept with my wife in over a year and still had a baby apparently sperm can survive for a long time in the uterus and when this happens the color of the baby's skin gets darker [Laughter] never known why can't barbie get pregnant because ken comes in a different box ew i do not care for barbie she creates unrealistic expectations about women in my experience no woman's head reattaches that easily okay buddy i'm just gonna send you here when your dad says you can't swear but then you see his tv show not happy dead where is the tits sauce father i crave the titty juice girl slaps me girl are you going to hit a pop up life stabs me you won't hurt a girl will you me pulls chainsaw out of closet time for you to say hello to the people in our basement girl i lost my virginity oh my god you did what was he like are you happy we're all so proud of you i can't wait to meet him i swear i had sex no you didn't nobody believed me the first time i had sex but luckily my sister helped assured everyone that i did there is nothing weird about this image just ignore it move along approach her and ask if you can pets the [ __ ] you spelled eat wrong oh charity what free meal to anyone over 80 years old if accompanied by both parents walks in with two urns didn't say they had to be alive the ark of noah rebuilt in kentucky it has the same measurement with the biblical arc of noah the ark 510 feet long and 100 million dollars was spent for the construction hey my guy is there is there something new uh you're not telling us a bit of an end of the world thing you want to give us a little heads up for deep fake president kennedy discusses rick and morty well this is something i'm gonna look up later it makes sense that he's a rick and morty fan his brain was so big it covered an entire car after all matt is asking my dad for his permission to marry me i love this man no hey what's your father say no no i reckon he'd say yes over my dead body bit awkward to get married over at gravestone but hey if that's the father's wishes i thought this was a new low-fi hip-hop radio and frank's diary an animated feature film featuring low high hip-hop ah millions masochists just just horrible but that beat dog someone black cats are bad luck get it away black cat hello i miss my black cat ex has got her break her legs and kneecaps and retrieve the real [ __ ] [Music] no if you laugh at other people's conditions you will be like them in the future build gates bill gates is a billionaire [Laughter] hitler we all don't matter why is the negativity so funny well boys we did it racism is no more no lives matter all brains splatter thanks for your input local psychopath meanwhile and interesting as frick japanese police shoot paintballs at fleeting vehicles so other police can see the vehicle and identify it later if it gets away the paint is bright orange and difficult to remove after fleeing police take your own paintball gun and shoot all parallel flowing traffic that's to throw them up so basically if you're someone who loves paintball probably don't carry it around in your car if you live in japan that'd be uh mighty suspicious i'm starting to think the military is basically high school a bunch of kids with machine guns making tick tocks i mean where's the lie oven i need foreplay baby give me some time to warm up for you microwave shove it in raw i don't give a freak i'll finish it two minutes oh don't sexualize kitchen appliances please i i use them daily meanwhile kettle's just like oh i'm boiling i'm boiling i'm boiling and uh that's that yeah that's that's it like nick climax just settling down now all right i hate spotify ad because i listen to podcasts in the shower and there's nothing scarier than being naked and hearing lebron james say i'll tell you what makes me thirsty that's cute you think they're ads kid gives wrong directions dora gets shot by the albanian border police doradora the drug exploder dora invest the poop out of that glowing nightlife lab with removable glow balls for trips to the bathroom imagine going to the bathroom and coming out with a glowing butt travis you used to have three of these glow balls what happened to the other two oh i don't know mum biggest dick award goes to my step dad why is everyone hating me all i did was call my stepdad a dick that story went from alabama to zero real quick alabama to abuse as a son of immigrants this hits me home growing up bilingual be like my dad legal documents seven-year-old me doing my best to translate it says you have 47 rappy allegations dad oh oh no so your sister told i'm sorry everyone but garfield is dead you can't sexualize him anymore aha that's where you're wrong kissing my actual sister prank kissing my actual mom prank jesus christ this was more painful than the time i got stabbed 23 times we did it boys parents stories is no more parents telling me that they walked 10 kilometers to school merely telling my kids that i survived a global pandemic i'm sorry to inform you but you are a redditor and most likely you will not have kids or a girlfriend well i i have kids in my basement does that count ruin a video game by changing one letter the legend of zelda a cake between worlds ganondorf no i'm his brother ganon dom blow my mind all of my life choices led to me making this meme and all of your life choices led to you reading it so you're telling me my poor account of vehicular manslaughter led up to this very moment yep the the purposes of their deaths were so you would freedom skip your son c passed away at the age of one he died from a cocaine overdose attendance funeral skip the funeral what what game is this is this the sims i well i have been out of this game for a while johnny johnny yes papa eating sugar no papa human brain versus dolphin brain why do they look so big why aren't they smarter than us nice collection bro ask reddit what life-changing item can you buy for less than 100 condoms my dad's biggest regret oh dude don't sell yourself short you're worth at least 101 dollars what if your first name was holden and your last name was barry's and you'd be like i'm old and berries and everyone would think you're holding berries excuse me sir i feel attacked okay hold on mate be honest though are you not holding one between your legs right now then your name is technically the truth freak you zodiac sans what piece you picking i want the millennials version ah so the noose there father henceforth you shall be known as darth daddy oh darth daddy those chalked me force took me harder i've been a bad little padawan sorry herc remember when hercules made himself a girlfriend out of clay and the first thing she did after getting a free will was dump him and then along came zeus my sister congratulating me for earning a lot of money online me who was running an early fence account with her nudes but how do you have her nudes i took them through my father's secret people a new type of iris which is likely to be passed to the infected after bite by ticks is emerging in china with more than 60 people infected and at least seven killed oh the 2021 teaser has released me after telling a group or a person on the internet that i'm a girl dick pics send them each other's dick pics i'm sorry never mind that these nukes produce a toxin ten thousand times deadlier than cyanide oh no i'm so poisonous it would sure be a shame if someone ate my give me that little smug look elizabeth it doesn't work you say pink we say black you say bieber we say beer sack you say emo we say fallen angel you say pop we say rock you twerk that's cool but we mush you have a fan group we have a freaking army what good is an army if they're all just gonna kill themselves be mine i am already yours for life for one week wow such a commitment if being sexy with a crime i'd be serving a life sentence a life sentence for a crime you didn't commit if being sexy was a crime i'd be still observing 90 years of full counts of armed robbery two counts of assault and batteries having counts of vehicular manslaughter and treason against the united states so you know i'm uh i'm attractive your ethnicity estimates as a gender you're female and you're 68 sheck somebody once told me i'm shriek republic only for gender it turns out i'm female me tells offensive joke at the dinner table me my dad my sister my grandma my brother my mom where's grandpa lost after killing hitler who lives in a pineapple under the sea wrong answers only malaysia [Applause] me at school in the hallway steps only on the brown squares teacher why i am a bot and this action was performed automatically please contact imbecile you were only supposed to step on the white squares oh the police disagrees here's just a casual man drinking a beer oh no sorry mistaken uh it's a doctor after you take a urine test all right analyzes out so i'll just i'll just i'll quickly analyze it here don't worry it's only take a second oh yeah matt you need to drink more water right you have to name him after what you last ate what's his name dog so that's where his brother went last stitch free post original post got deleted muscle stitch why is that an image search result that's an it's the internet why am i surprised those are his victims ohana moons catch those hands how to get free airpods one cut the wires of regular apple earbuds and wear them at school two the school confiscates them three when i get them back i took somebody else's real airpods and that's how i got ear herpes hearing aids you meet a cool girl on reddit you start playing games together she has an amazing voice she's cute and funny and hot she likes you and wants to meet you you wake up and she's still there how do you even meet people on reddit you dm them you two talk you like each other you share personal information you meet you kill them you inherit their multi-million dollar corporations make it grow even bigger become famous but no one ever knows because the real story you never tell them you never tell them oh wait i told you hey hey you want to catch up some time hallelujah to answer some ideas why why aren't you entering my dms please i need you to answer my dms this is a drawing made by a schizophrenic person before committing suicide comment suicide letter by letter to it free [ __ ] what it's funny because he doesn't have a nose so what does he need the tissues for if this video gets 666 comments and this comment gets 666 likes not hell but a deadly virus will invade earth next year you bastard reddit what's the worst joke that made you laugh a woman is pregnant and goes into labor she gives birth to a baby boy the doctor takes him away for a moment to clean her up if he's bringing it back he stops and throws the baby on the floor and starts stomping its head oh my god that's my son what are you doing the lady screams the doctor starts laughing then takes a breath and says i'm just kidding it was already dead so i banged my cousin nine years ago i had no idea she was related to me i legit found out yesterday when she told me who she's related to we are second cousins so it's not too bad but still bad i'm still in shock i begged my third cousin in my body told me to stop counting a german circus is using holograms instead of live animals for a cruelty-free magical experience and it's cool imagine introducing those hologram animals together ladies and gentlemen presenting the german holocaust why are you not clapping youtuber pewdiepie donates one hundred thousand dollars to lebanon red cross for beirut blast victims it looks like some insane homeless dude yeah i donated so much money it looks like he caused the explosion yeah that too i yeah i have to agree to that under irish law if you kill someone with a traditional weapon after a disagreement that is murder what if you use a phillips flathead screwdriver 10 millimeter diameter which color handle uh red well now it's red hmm necrophilia are on a whole new level if you pee and you nuts at the same time is that a peanut better alternative your body takes a screenshot just been made aware of how swan's hug oh that's it's like the perfect snug scarf starts choking its prey where's the frozen peas jeremy an 18 year old can legally adopt a 17 year old what are you doing step dad my hamster has to lose its eye and jon sent me this her eye is fully shut now i think she won't be able to use that eye again oh oh sorry i mean oh frick hot sauce well thanks now my dick hurts before after look at how they must occur girl at least the monkey still remained on the left of come no a holocaust survivor going on holiday to argentina the german officer in charge of the camp hans zero zero one seven four five six what movie or television show would be better if the word sexual was added in it alien versus sexual predator something is wrong with elmo while the hospital administrator applause elmo for volunteering as an organ donor at the same time she is curious as to where he obtained 37 fresh human kids oh the children are fast but elmo is faster six sex is like math you add the bed subtract the clothes divide the legs and pray you don't multiply me who sucks at math oh five or i am a fool i should have studied better back when i was in school instruction's unclear ripped one of her legs off tell me a story about yourself that sounds like a lie but is absolutely true both my wife and i were adopted as babies and neither of us found out until both sets of our parents died we later did separate searches of our birth parents and found out we are siblings we've yet to tell our four kids and just might not ever i don't think they should know okay well that's enough from this tweet i'm going to delete it now meanwhile then mildly interesting 20 years of repeat attempts and a few pieces lost along the way but finally finish this 3d puzzle of manhattan uh i have bad news for you yeah i mean don't get me wrong but i think they uh they demolished a few of those buildings there that's uh there's a few of those buildings that uh that are not there anymore young men aren't having sex because they'd rather play video games because the gulag gives me a second chance after being done in the first 30 seconds this window turns everything into pixels oh you mean japanese porn glass what are the mario brothers views on human trafficking mario says luigi says it is beneficial luigi says if you got the stash you're worth some cash last words my grandpa's last words were don't move the ladder you little sh he was a wonderful man eating a mango not just the mango but the woman go and the ticket i i did not see it going there and i feel terrible that i didn't see it master skywalker there's too many of them what are we going to do the year is 2013. bakery art is so realistic anything could be cake the uncertainty has gripped the world in fear i go hug my wife for comfort but she is cake well this takes eating her out to a whole new level happy cake day indeed wow i'll get there bear with me oh wow wee looks like you and i have made it to the fan art part of the video today today's work is by extreme laws and yeah i'll be honest i i totally feel the expression of this guy when it comes to some of these comments love how chill he's acting though while expressing this absolute dread totes relatable thanks for the work class of course if you'd like to see your work seen in a future video make sure you post your artsy worxiness onto the mk subreddit that's where we see them and that's where we grab them for the newest videos now it does seem you've made it to the end of this video in which case i thank you for dealing with my rambliness please like the video to show your support for the channel and subscribe if you have not already click that notification bell so you're always updated on the latest goodies and hey if you got the time why not check out some other videos on the channel but regardless i hope we tickled your fancy today and if not then well i am going to cry and it will be all your fault anyway i should be heading off now it's time to end this vid my name's been jack you've been a lovely person to ramble out today as always you're an amazing person love your face and i'll see you next time bye

Channel: EmKay

Views: 2,098,524

Rating: 4.9471297 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, cursedcomments, cursed comments, reddit cursed, reddit memes, reddit funny, cursed memes

Id: EZlG2zZEOpk

Length: 20min 21sec (1221 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 08 2020