r/Notmyjob | WHAT

we're hiring part-time and full-time we need servers to serve people creators to greet people line cooks to cook food we mean food hey thanks for applying what's your name you can call me han hello all of you triangular pterodons welcome back to mk my name's jehovah's witness and i was just wondering if we could have a little quick chat today that or enjoy some delicious content from the not my job subreddit a sub flooded with examples of people who have just given up on life so basically a sub consisting of half the human population let's go i'm a fruit market selling apples and oranges these perfect apples and oranges what's that you want more than two for a dollar seventy nine i got your buddy which i could get you a single rose of these blah blah blah oranges or a deluxe spooky or would you like a super bukaki i'm genuinely wondering now if this person just doesn't understand english when they set this whole thing up we must either go three kilometers an hour or we have to flip the car around come on kids let's flip the car okay boys and girls can you guess what this fruit is that's right it's your mom no banana that too oh god now we're just getting on borderline absolute laziness here i mean you have to go slow when painting these lines you you seriously did not have the time to reach down and move that bottle you know what something tells me that they started with the first two bricks realized they screwed this entire thing up and just gave up by the end ah but see now it's art and therefore acceptable so i finally got a house and they literally painted over the bugs on the wall [Music] these are literal moths how are they so chill to just let someone paint over them oh my gosh are you gonna lather me in toxic paste right now well as long as it's vegan and good for my complexion okay but that mosquito there looks like he's literally squished to death so hey maybe he had a fetish for like lady demetrius or something though she is outdated now so i guess what samsung assistant ah yes the subreddit wouldn't at all be perfect without at least one of these goddamn elevators not having their numbers in them right hold up welcome to sesame street let's learn to count together one two three four five six and seven well done okay steve you know the difference between a cat and a duck right oh don't you worry boss i know what i'm doing whoever changed this table too close to the wheelchair ramp making the ramp unusable oh well i feel this has just turned into hostile architecture those with a disability must prove their strength in order to be given passage to l takeaway in my town they decided wooden poles were dangerous so they installed new concrete ones this is the result what what oh wow wait is that the concrete pole what even wow oh what country is this what are your health and safety regulations do you have health and safety regulations fix the slight dip in the road boss yeah see it's no longer a dip it's a hole it's a public laboratory now rights of the future yeah and just over here i took inspiration from how jk rowling smothers over her own potholes see how it didn't do a good job yeah that's the point now i just want a nice cute stairwell leading up to the door to the window got it tell me you're sick and tired of dressing mannequins without telling me you're sick and tired of dressing mannequins kmart price seven dollars plus six dollars because screw you you don't get discounts if anything i want my dollar back notice this is a work free truck place this company has a zero tolerance policy regarding the use of drugs or alcohol on the job let's keep it this way well you read the sign boys we gotta keep it that way i've installed the fire extinguisher boss great job can't claim the insurance unless the entire place burns down see oh hey is that guy from madagascar what was his name um uh fat frick that's it oh my god why why see this will stop people from trying to park in my garden it's full proof and if you say otherwise i will cry please it's cost me thousands of dollars printed the flag boss yes we're seeing sweet potato from americai here the place with the red white and blue congrats on your graduation door decoration you did it you guard you waited it's not my job to draw hands oh far out buddy what are you doing there this keyboard took away all of my bones fridge won't fit have i got the solution for you it's called buying a new goddamn fridge though okay hang on no wait on the other hand you can guarantee that it's never gonna get too dirty under there because you can actually clean it no i'm gonna say it i think this is actually smart especially if you hate short people stealing your ice cream all the time call me stinky did you said i wasn't the best narrator did you we'll enjoy finding that final puzzle piece mate i love that you can see dried up drips of paint there too like you can tell this is the landlord special in painting you had one job one job to be fair this might be referring to stage left and stage right you know as an actor ah yes a tasty dosage of deceit pretty sure private establishments can actually be like fined for this kind of stuff nowadays though right right oh better comment how trashy my boss told me to fix the leak on the corner of the oven fan well considering he likely has no knowledge in actually how to fix this machinery can you blame him and hey it looks like it's working for the day was told to post in another sub who then told me to post here this is my dollar store rubik's cube that still has the shutter stock logos on the planets oh wow wow i didn't realize the rubik's cube industry was so stingy with its budget oh come on man it's like less than a 180 degree turn you could have done it super mario brothers with this i'm sorry who the hell are you mario isn't a ranger we love him because he has a soul someone didn't really think out this jfk memorial i don't know what you're talking about it's just four innocent flat screen tvs pointing at jfk on the screen it's just a nice targeted video footage the screens are just all headed towards targeting their sights on him for you to have your sights on jfk to shoot him to watch him i didn't what was this even meant to be didn't realize thanos's snap also affected brickwork cheering speaks mexican okay translators please don't be lazy this is literally your job you don't belong here in this subreddit that is literally your job to be explaining this mobile phone don't worry it's optional just kidding we lied correct your mistake to get your only fans account verified hey hold up guys i forgot to grab my wallet i'll be right back we haven't replaced the stairs yet just imagine being the housemate who's in charge of all the bills and you're the one who always gets the emails regarding things like stairwells being removed for reconstruction purposes and you decide no i won't tell everyone that the stairs are no longer there goodbye john have a good trip this weekend oh stacy that outfit on you was just drop dead gorgeous oh thanks mikey oh my mate i'm just going to push you off wait what ah yes may be an actual rural town in australia but that don't make this billboard any less truthful especially if your 5 a.m coffee kicks in okay so 201 to 212 and 214 are on the right 213 to 215 and 228 you're in the left i'm looking for 217 so that the guest laundry okay meanwhile at the phone and internet company telstra i need a new account set up oh yes yes my bad on this one as this it is better to call our number and say sales on the prompt as for this on our end we can see no nbn and yet you have confirmed there is velocity nbn uh okay uh what's the number the number is at our website or just search on google telstra numbers well i can't find it there's no number listed on your contact page please search on the google for telstra number you were literally employed by the man and shout out to that first reply for making thousands of us collectively relate to the agony of dealing with an internet service provider what is your name this is optional wrong it is required this could either be the tyler's fault or the technicians but either way i could totally own them a tetris council repainted the lines outside a local school after digging up the road oh dear god how tight is your budget though to be fair at least they did the job somewhat right and didn't just act petty about it like this one for god's sake i told you not to paint the forklift no there's racing strut this makes it super fast now the speedy forklift okay i'm starting to think the yellow paint is just cursed to never be done properly props to them attempting it uh the first few times in that left image only to understandably just say screw it i'm winging this the rv park i'm staying at perfect anti-bear system yeah it's not the biggest rock i could have found but to find a bigger one would require effort that i do not plan to give you i ordered my burger with an impossible patty and they just added the impossible patty to the regular meat patty oh god did they just already make the burger until you ordered it with the impossible patty or were they meant to just not cook the regular patty i mean personally i just see this as bonus patty why are you complaining man i asked for a plain burger and this is what i get really mcdonald's okay i know this is probably actually really disappointing to some but this is how i always order my paddies anyway get enough carbs from the chips i don't want to have the whole burger this image in the new gravity falls book has got the quick player overlay on it good to see someone in quality control is losing their job today but at least it ain't as obstructing as something like this or this seriously why in the middle of the roads in the footpaths why it takes time to build these things more than one person too why did no one raise their hand to question this ordered the 3.8 billion new railroad cars boss perfect for the disabled they're just gonna you know get out of their chair uh throw the chair over there and try and crawl up onto the ledge before the train moves again honestly i think it's a great incentive to get these people off their butts so lazy just sitting down all day i also took the incentive of revamping the bathrooms and the stations yeah get them patrons nice and intimate up against the wall yeah that's a good wall what do you mean people don't like being squished up against walls what your applying walls aren't great to look at what am i meant to do with this park bench nah we don't need that projector sheet not when you got a new surround sound system like would it really take that much effort to just unhinge the projector sheet wow either someone's terrified of their boss or they were quitting anyway guys who painted my shop just straight up painted over this spider what why is this a thing i swear this subreddit has just exposed to me how often people do this this train is for plus the next station is old hill it is literally a small stick just kick it with your feet if this restroom needs service please turn on switch don't trust me we'll clean it you just got to turn on the switch oh gee well you're not flicking the switch so i guess we don't need a clayton i'm trying to i'm trying to claim hi john sorry i just i thought i'd like to let you know that that smells really nice man what uh thank you yeah no oh no problem man just thought you'd like to know yeah okay thanks yeah you're welcome yeah see this right here is exactly why trick skaters are best qualified to be train conductors passengers please stand by i'm just about to attempt to sick ollie okay sure please stay connected okay hello thank you for contacting xfinity support my name is kumar i'm one of the available supervisors on the floor kindly allow me two to three minutes to read the transcript okay thank you so much for waiting sure i apologize for so many transfers ah what are we up to seven kumar has left the chat oh god said thank you for your past visit at undefined with dr undefined please let us know how we did it undefined well it's good to see we're being more inclusive with our disability signage wheelchair-bound brake dancers are people too oh no wrong cubicle set up buddy unless you're a nervous peer but confidence pooper see this is what i'm talking about it's good it's progressive representing the breakdancing people apparently no one considered the sun when designing this wall ah yes the classics can always appreciate the awkwardness of an unintentional bp pick but hey this bridge was built by people from a historical society maybe back then people were a bit more proud to show off the palace unlike today no one no one proudly exposes theirs to people nah okay to be fair it's not very noticeable from the distance maybe it just makes the wood look less realistic completely how do you screw up a job this bad like there are there are literal walls there to show you where to put the uh you even had three options at least yeah i've replaced the window pane boss you did a great job uh technically it uh it is a window presenting the newest in luxury wristware fossil watches words go here i have vested you in combat i demand you to yield what you led no die led no it should be no no on to the fun arty stuff now today's work is by cringe on reddit oh cool half of red is sending us fan art it's their first time posting ever we took their reddit virginity it's nice to know i've accomplished something in my life here's their fan art of every narrator and they drew it on their phone we got lexi we got someone that you forgot we got robin we got me with some really saggy boobs and damien oh they've ascended to the heavens and i'm not sure if it's intentional but he's noticeably paler than all of us look i appreciate the compliment but i'm definitely not that tan like i'm at least damien's level there in fact you're just saying for future reference i'm i'm a pasty white boy thank you for that beautiful work though cringe on reddit we love you too have all my love take it please i have it all and as always if you'd like to see your fan art in the next video you can always do so by posting it on the mk subreddit now that does end today's good stuff hope you had some fun and liked this video in appreciation can't say i love you for it because i technically gave it all the way to cringe on reddit so you can uh i've got a sock here you can have a sock um especially what oh no okay it needs to be washed and for the record it's not in a dirty way it's sweaty smelly sock stop thinking of it that way despite all my jokes being that not everything i say is a dirty joke anyway make sure you're subscribed as well and i'll see you for the next one my name's been jack you're a lovely person love your faces well technically not because again prince almighty took all my loves so i like your faces very platonically bye-bye

Channel: EmKay

Views: 581,604

Rating: 4.964889 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, Notmyjob

Id: S0AO1HnNMbg

Length: 15min 38sec (938 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 05 2021