r/Cursedcomments | darth chungus

you can't panic in these situations me calmly waiting for the two youtube ads to finish so i can learn the heimlich maneuver me my friend choking would you stop choking already i can't hear it going ladies and gentlemen welcome back to mk i'm your host robin and i'm still sick and today we're going to be going over our slash cursed comments one of my personal favorites i love crazy people let's get right in there iceland is the only country without mosquitoes snakes or other reptiles they also have very few species of spiders none of which are harmful to humans i go to iceland the land of the weak come to australia where mosquitoes are big enough to carry away small children when you're tired of people saying that you objectify women so you pack your things and leave bsa don't try to dispatch those bags in the airport i had some issues last time oh everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about be kind i once saw you punch a girl scout because she didn't have any thin mints exactly that was my battle so be kind plants produce useful oxygen then why eat them chickens produce bad carbon dioxide we should eat them humans make bad carbon dioxide let's eat them too i mean i already do but okay if a man is in an accident car ladder fall etc and he gets an erection don't move him he has a spinal injury as a paramedic this is true it's called priapism and it's associated with a mid to low back injury side note unfortunately it might be his last erection so make it count oh sh having a rough day just remember that an arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards so when life is dragging you back with difficulties it means it's about to send you forward to kill someone this is great gonna use this one in court someone literally died on my flight today so we made an emergency landing and everyone missed their connections the guy behind me was complaining saying how is it an emergency if they're already dead and i'd just like to say that you sir are the devil why are you booing me i'm right couldn't everyone just pretend he was sleeping and make a surprised face when landing the blue whale's heart is so big that a human can fit into its arteries the image is a replica not an actual heart ah thanks for ruining my fantasy day ruined my car kinda looks like adolf hitler fast and fuhrer i am surprised it actually took us a decent number to get to a hitler joke alexa remind me to feed the baby alright defeat the baby reminder set one less thing to feed imagine dying in a slaughterhouse just to be fisted by jesus and peter griffin good lord you can choose a superpower but the first person to reply can choose a side effect i can pause an online game your whole family dies and you can't play online games what the [ __ ] london may have more money and vienna more culture rome may have more history and paris more style but glasgow has the biggest heart my gran got stabbed there rock paper scissors players waiting for the next update still waiting for some bug fixes like sometimes my opponent doesn't have a hand well then you can win every time when you're the first person to wake up at the sleepover and you don't know what to do wake up a homie with a blowy dude yeah come on you know what to do an unknotted surgical mask blocks 56 a cloth mask blocks 51 percent a knot and tucked mask blocks 77 double masking blocks 85. a plastic bag with tape around the neck blocks 100 ah there we go we found a cheat cannibal's ranked by number of people eaten put all of them together in a room and let's see who comes out alive now that's the real hunger games the josh fight should become a yearly tradition but with different names and then turn the fight into a charity and raise money for different charities in the world redditers okay dude the name jack would be perfect the legendary jackoff has a nice ring to it don't you think that sounds good but can we get jack black on board with it jack white versus jack black who can jack off the other jack faster only one way to find out well now you got my hopes up that sounds like a u problem though dude for each 15 upvotes this post gets i will not jerk off for one day what if i downvote what do we do then he jerks you off tony was kidnapped peter's suit gets a tracker tony got stuck in the cold peter's suit gets a heater tony's best friend fell from the sky peter's suit gets a parachute tony got surrounded by paparazzi peter's suit gets an instant kill mode whoa dude spoiler alert i thought that was standard in all homes your parents didn't make a small statue of you being killed no they did actually these things are stronger than some people's relationships and a knife can end both my son has been copycatting me for the past hour so how do i defeat this little sh start doing chores around the house that or start sticking your head underwater repeatedly your naturally larger lungs should eventually overcome the child's finish the joke one word at a time yo mama is deceased oh man that ended quick really gotta teach my parents how to use emojis your uncle mark died we're planning on cremating him i think your parents used it just fine what sentence is 100 times creepier if you whisper it you look so peaceful when you sleep so nice to finally meet you i watch mk all the time if you kill a killer the number of killers in the room remains the same but if you kill two killers then the number starts to dwindle my friend murder isn't the answer mass murder is how would you put i'm a pokemon trainer on your resume i kidnap wild animals and shove them in my balls if porn logic applied in the real world what would be the biggest downside every home appliance would be unsafe because you could get hopelessly stuck in them step bro i got stuck in the blender presses button if you rob a store naked as a miner no one can watch the security footage without committing a crime i've got less than a week left to try this sorry about the cancer what vampires who just use way too much 90 slang vampires who say booyah when they get too excited vampires who makes all slang from the past five centuries mercilessly within the same breath and don't even try to stop it anymore unhand me you egg-sucking lily-livered jivetalk and whack-a-doo fowl villain cur i bite my thumb at thee you ugly [ __ ] so ostella bye-bye daddy-o my eyes are bleeding no my [ __ ] collection five-second rule oh god you better be quick buddy good morning daily reminder that i could screw both your parents and the one person on earth that you love but i choose not to i love you all have an amazing day if you can get through six feet of dirt you're welcome to try if brands were brutally honest what brand would have what slogan nestle children died to bring you this also nestle taste the oppression we don't care milk tanker overturns and leaks 28 000 liters of milk turning a uk river white when november ends oh god damn it japanese public schools to no longer check students bra or underwear color the what in us they check skin color instead the weak should fear the strong why a man can't just pee in peace this is why i like to bring scissors to the restroom excuse me girls have read it what was the best flirting technique someone did with you not sure if it counts as flirting but he read my favorite book just so we'd have something in common to talk about that's so sweet plot twist ken it was mein kampf can we have normal sex tonight please no now turn into an octopus again how do i delete someone else's post you go to their house with a shotgun jesus christ rest in peace prince philip so many fond memories where's this from a buckingham palace maybe me tells a joke no one acknowledges it me says it again as they probably didn't hear it didn't you say that already [ __ ] we heard you and it wasn't funny the first time it's like someone rips my balls off and eats them raw to show superiority that oh okay that made a lot of sense sure let's go grab something to eat but i'm broke did i ask if you had any money that's cute friend now quick i brought these ski masks let's rob this place imagine walking in the woods and then you hear hey vsauce michael here how fast can you run i wouldn't mind a little scarier vsauce can you [ __ ] stop yeah i'm taller than most of my friends and i do this along with making fun of how short they are just to piss them off it makes them so mad but what are they gonna do run me over with their wheelchairs ah nice nice everyone heavy metal fans are angry and hateful heavy metal fans now there's that eye funny watermark for some goddamn reason before seeing this i had no feelings towards heavy metal fans now that i've seen this photo of them carrying a disabled man probably to sacrifice him to satan i see them as the angry hateful people they are thanks op are you going to sell them like you did mine what if we kissed at the pride themed anti-homeless spike covered underpass you see anti-homeless spikes i see free seating for hundreds of brave participants if you were in walmart and everything became free for 10 minutes what would you get trampled to death probably the most realistic answer oh yeah it absolutely is i'd get the hell out of there oh oh god only one of those students is going to make a living i don't see anyone drawing furry porn yeah he'll still make a living don't worry about it asexuals unzips pants what if you had to have sex every day during pregnancy to keep building the baby with the same man this is a great question perhaps if you mix it up you can combine jeans like a build-a-bear that's awful what helped you get over a crush you had for years i tried to kill her and spent 13 years in prison bro for real yeah for real this is red and everyone tells the truth if you were a demon how would one summon you they have to rub their penis with a cheese grater 10 times while saying my name how do i delete someone else's comment yeah cause it's weak sauce bro baby born without penis in extremely rare case exact same thing happened to my sister the nurse on work experience was thinking oh crap that wasn't the umbilical cord if drugs aren't allowed in sports then makeup shouldn't be allowed in beauty contests either i'll say it again we need a category of sport where all drugs are legal let's see how far we can push a meat bag before it breaks i was on board until the last sentence really that's what pushed you over the edge i'm still game i want to see it you've been kidnapped 30 minutes later your kidnapper dumps you on the street because you won't stop talking about what how whale dicks are probably the origin of sea serpent legends what sometimes for some reason whales turn on their backs and stick their penis out of the water which looks kind of like the loch ness monster some assume that's the origin of the legend yeah dump them on the side of the road right now the stages of urine color you're drinking too much water you're drinking enough water you need to drink more water you need to go see a doctor what if it looks like the blue gatorade then stop drinking the windex we've been over this god please norway cow version uh what i made this meme on my walmart smartphone okay this is impossible to read okay come to india we'll give you more rights than women what am i looking at a little comic also my first post here swipe again abusing the villagers it is not abusing i'm sure they love to be zombified it shows in the prices this is amazing good job can't wait to see more adventures if you do it make them have sex okay females have read it what's the sexiest thing a plus size gamer gentleman has told you that's made you want to immediately have sex with him and be his girlfriend he just stood there naked fupa slightly having scrote in hand lightly juggling his balls and he said you gotta catch em all what a terrible day to be able to read twerked for my girlfriend she slapped my nuts instead of my ass i'm waking up to ash and dust i miss his ass and i slap his nuts breathing in his testicles it's your [ __ ] sake and just like that we've come to the end of another video folks but before we get going let's take a look at today's fan art so to be honest i decided to make the art better kinda but let's start from the beginning i just made my account and thought to myself that i'll make a fan art because i watched the channel for a long time and i really appreciate the content i like that i don't think we get near enough pixel art on here i love this type of stuff it's great always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed today's video consider giving it a like down below and if you really enjoyed it well make sure to get yourself subscribed and click that bell icon and hey if you're feeling super generous why not check out my links in the description down below and until next time i'll be seeing you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,443,924

Rating: 4.9615989 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, Cursedcomments

Id: Va2S5-IbnZs

Length: 12min 37sec (757 seconds)

Published: Wed May 19 2021