r/Holup | missile balloons??

i have bad news me too michael cheated on me oh i have good news what i hit him with my car oh silver linings folks you gotta look for them they're always there hey hey what's going on everyone welcome back to mk i'm your host robin and today we're going to be taking a look at our slash hold up well that's not exactly how you say it but who cares let's get in there and see what we got going on the coffee shop had among us cookies today they should make one of the cookies the imposter and just poison it child friendly russian roulette is it child friendly hey kid check this out whoa oh my god this is one of the oldest jokes in the book you're a real [ __ ] angel i want to open a restaurant that specializes in barbecue pork butt i'm going to call it butt stuff so when women tell their men let's try butt stuff they get all excited and then they get disappointed and then they get happy again because barbecue yeah kind of funny how that happens isn't it super super super funny hey babe is your dad a terrorist hold on a second who the hell told you about this cause you're the what my niece turned three today she asked for a lion king cake but specifically the moment where mufasa dies because everyone will be too sad to eat the cake and it'll all be for me she's going places not places that require sharing but places nonetheless damn straight when elected governor of california i will cancel cancel culture and wake up the woke remember when you canceled a woman's life when you killed her with your car imagine unironically saying you're going to cancel cancel culture and wake up the woke caitlyn you're a [ __ ] just helped my neighbor bury a rolled up carpet in the woods she said her husband would have done it but he's out of town pay it forward and be the change wonder when he's gonna come back give us your money homos yes mastercard overlords you could have my gay money mark zuckerberg versus santa claus gives you gifts nice bushy beard enjoys milk and cookies knows everything you do sells that information to companies hey that's not fair i love milk and cookies you know it's fake because mark zuckerberg has zero personality so he would never do anything fun happy pride i'll never forget what my grandmother said to me when i came out to her at age 18. the words have really stuck with me she said stop crying we're at a chinese buffet i don't care if you're gay thanks grandma transgender [ __ ] probably fire on the low cause that custom build probably got heated leather interior oh my god who in the hell told him to tweet that pizza guy you are total is 26 34. me i can't afford that well you'll have to pay some other way uh wait i forgot i had 30 dollars cut come on who wants to watch that being choked might be a turn-on for you but it's not for sea turtles so keep your [ __ ] trash out of the damn ocean awfully bold of you to assume that no sea turtle has daddy issues ryan for the love of god calm down the way my neighbor makes the entire apartment building smell like boiled feet i'm about to sit outside their door with febreze on full blast till they get the hint so it turns out he died look at the size of my new tv compared to my dishwasher oh i get it cause woman a wise doctor once wrote something i don't know we can't read anything they write sisters donate their kidneys to strangers to honor their dad who died from kidney failure so kidney failure runs in the family and they donate a kidney huh oh i like your profile pic i'm removing it i like your status i'm removing it i like your dress ah here's a little lesson in trickery who came here from facebook lol how are you verified as the roman empire well it's not that hard okay can't believe some people still think that the moon landing was faked yeah unironically me neither i literally cannot believe that and i refuse to believe that that people think it was fake not that it you know what never mind let's move on this is jessica's father you took my daughter virginity sorry sir it won't happen again wow what facebook page did this come from pro tip adopt a retired drug dog to find fun friends at parties this is just facebook isn't it that's where we are now you know this is a drunk driving simulator right yeah so you aren't supposed to be good at it that's a fair point holy hell this is terrifying that's my grandmother she passed away four months ago oh thank god really that is a horrifying photograph american girl releases first doll with hearing loss wait the other ones can hear us yes and they're always listening faith they're always listening sir i am sick i want a one day leave when i get sick i kiss my wife and my sickness goes try okay sir sir i tried how was it first your wife hesitated then she enjoyed thank you sir these are really bad blue power red power green power well hi 14 year old ahmed muhammad arrested for bringing homemade clock to school 14 year old student builds an atomic bomb as a science project corporate wants you to find the differences in these two pictures sometimes what you're trying to hold on to is exactly what you should let go off jim please but it's so relatable great news your family just informed us that they are praying to jesus for you so we're giving your respirator to someone else who does not have jesus curing them [Laughter] making pizza hut stuffed crust at home but better we warned you before joshua now you've left us no choice what are you gonna do pizza hut plants are the new pets pets are the new kids then what are kids kids are now like exotic animals you have to be a little bit crazy or rich to have them that's always been true though patrick is legally allowed to kill that's right are you only just realizing this kinda missed the 70s when killers were mysterious and smart and planned stuff now it's just a bunch of [ __ ] shooting random people left and right where's the flavor be the change you want to see in this world they got rid of the indian and kept the oh boy how to use if you really don't know how then we suggest you find someone you really like and invite them into the shower with you to demonstrate i didn't know body wash could be so sexy and condescending every time i see this post i think it's a fire extinguisher and i get a little confused bored try this tie these balloons to your car drive like a bat out of hell and watch the drama unfold i love 45 year olds can't wait to pound your ass tonight this is david sarah's father not sarah yeah we figured when you said sarah's father you got the numbers mixed up please be more careful next time i didn't get anything mixed up stay away from me my uncle just sent a message in the family group asking for money i privately messaged him asking for banking details so i can deposit it he responded saying he doesn't actually need money he asked for money so that nobody in the family would ask him for money well they had us in the first half not gonna lie pornhub leak reveals most of their actors are not actually step siblings hold on sorry what do you mean most a massive black sarcophagus has been unearthed in egypt and nobody knows who's inside i've watched the mummy the mummy returns and the mummy starring tom cruise i recommend you leave it closed just bury it back please dear why do so many murderers bury victims in their own backyards okay not everyone has the trunk space or gas money to drive way out in the middle of nowhere to dump their bodies check your privilege we're all doing the best we can out here and my backyard's like four feet that direction sarcasm doesn't get you anywhere well it got me the sarcasm world championships in uruguay in 2017 really no no yesterday i met this sweet jewish guy at the bus stop after we flirted for a bit he asked me for my number had to explain to him that we use names again these days [Music] hmm yes they're all quite oh yeah there it is yes oh gross nice parking please don't reproduce dude a free condom i'm never gonna be able to use it but thank you my dog is pregnant so we took maternity pictures are you guys gonna have a gender reveal party as well maybe burn down a forest or two when you can't be in two places at once so you be in three huh porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house i don't know i've been able to get him same day always burglar points gun at me all right buddy just show me where your valuables are and i won't hurt you me sure thing dude alexa call the police alexa shuffling songs by the police roxanne plays as i get shot 16 times my mom told my brother to change his sheets before his girlfriend comes over to visit because we don't want her to get pregnant just by sitting down jesus mom why you gotta play a kid like that my son would have been five today what happened oh i pulled out how'd you know what would have been your son is this the club for the blind club of the deaf i asked a question you [ __ ] idiots well they may not answer if a white person hates an asian because they're asian is that racist just a yes or no yes of course if a black person hates an asian because they're asian is that racist definitely not wow [ __ ] cool look what i found in my mother's room hey man i wouldn't watch that if i were you are you going to sleep yes i am now shut up in darth vader's death scene you can hear blaster shots going off in the background luke is the only rebel on the death star too and the stormtroopers aren't shooting at him the death star is getting ready to explode and all the imperial troops are evacuating so the only thing those blaster shots could be are stormtroopers killing each other for spots on the ships or themselves a woman in the philippines realized she's been praying to a shrek figure for four years thinking it was buddha and the problem is throwback to that time my teacher's computer wasn't working so she plugged the projector into one of the students computers there's no way a teacher is going to ask a student no no no no no way uh-uh okay maybe in college but still oh my god it's bigfoot oh my god it's tiny wiener see anything cool lately no shut up what's up virgin not anymore just ask your sister i don't even have a sister you dumb [ __ ] just wait nine months an orgasm only lasts for a few seconds the fires of hell last forever it's not worth throwing away the eternal gift of heaven for immediate sexual gratification respect your body god gave it to you as a temple choose the cross over lust and pride i am going to come to this tweet out of spite ambulance driver had a heart attack so the injured man inside had to drive change team it's like getting auto balanced in tf2 dude some people made more than they brush their teeth who the [ __ ] brushes their teeth 15 times a day well not me furthermore who does anything 15 times a day catholic student suspended after principal discovers her only fans the principal oh my god that's terrible where i remember i once heard the phrase beat your meat when i was 12 and heard it felt good so when i was alone i punched my balls as hard as i could then cried for an hour and threw up on the floor we all make mistakes in the heat of passion jimbo a lady next to me on the plane started to freak out when she realized i was pakistani i laughed so hard my grenades nearly fell out of my pocket i'm a pakistani and this is [ __ ] i keep my grenades in my turban god look at how old this is hiv positive occupation blood donor what the family i babysit for bought me a car for my 18th birthday so thankful buy me a car or i'll tell your wife about us hey i used to date this girl william yes boob slap it's william silly willy's 699 i don't care what you've seen on pornhub please don't smack my vagina slap my vagina like it insulted your mother's potato salad there are two types of people in this world simba my uncle killed my father and is trying to kill me now timon and pumbaa oh wow have you tried just not worrying about it and on that fantastic note we've come to the end of another video folks but before we get going let's take a look at today's fan art fan art smiley face sorry it's bad not really i see a very accurate dapper representation what's the problem always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed today's video consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed it well then make sure to get yourself subscribed and click that bell icon and if you're feeling super generous why not check out my links in the description down below and until next time i'll catch you later

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,705,017

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, Holup, r/Holup

Id: GRIHWUs1f7E

Length: 13min 18sec (798 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 26 2021