r/Me_irl | do not turn around...

when you switch sides to face the wall yeah you know they're there they're always there they're always watching [Music] what in the world is going on folks welcome back to mk i'm your host robin the blonde one i guess and today we're going to be taking a look at r me irl what's a good age to have kids financially stable years old certainly wish more people realize that me coming up on the thrilling conclusion to my dream storyline my alarm you guys sometimes get close to finishing your dreams i never have although i have experienced waking up from the dream falling back to sleep and continuing from where i left off now that was incredible girls wearing metal band merch 36 year old dude name three songs in my experience the dude bust through the wall to say some sort of inappropriate sexual comment but sure am i really hungry or do i want to eat just because i'm bored hey hey i'm really tired of getting photos of me in these posts alright boredom gave me at least 20 extra pounds i'm bored you should get a hobby alright fine i'm bored there might be some deeper issues that you should be looking into if climbing to the top of mount everest is boring for you but hey congrats you didn't die on the way up i just gotta get down calling me should be a felony it is such a violent attack on my vibe look it needs to be checked every now and then slate when your cheat meal turns into a six month long snack accident why there's so many photos of me in here but real quick let's talk about that i funny watermark huh no one eight-year-old me we just wanted to look cool okay leave me alone allow me to slip into something more comfortable gets in my car and leaves oh oh i feel that so hard it hurts when i leave work i'm gonna hit the gym fold the laundry get some cleaning done and cook food me for four hours after getting home you can't kid yourself like that you can't you've been working all day what did you expect the night before a day off is way more satisfying than the actual day off isn't it amazing how just knowing that you don't have to slave away the entire day the following morning can really just relieve stress like to an extreme extent you don't feel like you're gonna die it's almost like the amount of time that we work genuinely needs to be relooked at because damn this ain't working this boy is possessed by a demon that makes him unable to study upon exposure to books or anything related to school he immediately passes out nice we're studying geography now what state do you live in denial i don't suppose i can argue with that oh calvin dentist when i poke the most tender part of your mouth with a sharp instrument it bleeds and that's your fault me i am so sorry it does always seem a little bit weird doesn't it but hey they're right pros and cons of existing pros dogs cons everything else i don't know you're so quiet what's on your mind me fake scenarios like being happy don't y'all blow on food when it's hot or do you have to have until you can chew it i blow on it but underestimate how hot it is and anyway man i wish i was more like that guy but he probably wishes he was more like somebody else too holy [ __ ] i'm glad i'm me especially glad i'm not that guy i am 100 convinced that every human being around me thinks this about me at all times goth girl yelling at me me secretly turned on why is there a goth girl yelling at you though i need more context to the situation when your friends finally persuade you to go to the gym and you're at the counter like it's kind of like me the first time i went rock climbing y'all ever look at old pictures of yourself and think damn people really let me walk around like that but then you look in the mirror and think damn it's happening again you need better friends but before we get going any farther today's video is sponsored by keeps now we're talking statistics two out of three men are going to experience some form of male pattern baldness by the time they turn 35 just like me no i'm not 35 trust me it may not look like it but it is thinner up there than my patients for my roommates when they refuse to take out the recycling even though it's full and they were the last ones to find it now the best way to prevent hair loss in general is to do something about it while you still have some hair on your head and that's where keeps comes in it's become pretty revolutionary to help guys keep more of their hair for longer hence the name keeps get it you get it you understand yeah that's funny now the best and most convenient part about keeps in my opinion is the ability to get treated right from the comfort of your own home the medication is delivered every three months to your doorstep so there's no need to go out to walmart and get judged by that 16 year old cashier who let's be honest is not far behind you in terms of needing that treatment now is he again just remember prevention is key here funny it's the most important part so the sooner you start the better your results are going to be so head on over to keeps.com mk that's keeps.com e-m-k-a-y or click the link at the top of the description down below for 50 off your first order i would of course again like to thank keeps for sponsoring today's episode of mk and without much further ado let's get back into the meme shall we when someone tries to get to know me we are open the door is just very heavy hey you gotta give people fair warning you know my first instinct when i see an animal is to say hello my first instinct when i see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away yeah everybody else thinks that too so it usually ends up working out that exact way i want to make an infomercial where it's not clear what the guy is selling like he's demonstrating how powerful this vacuum is by sucking up a bowling ball but then he starts showing you how strong the bowling ball is by dropping it on some knives but then he's showing how the knives haven't been damaged at all by using them to cut through some shoes and it goes on and on for two hours and then it just loops back to the start while the number flashes on the screen the whole time and if you call it it just echoes whatever you say back to you what kind of black mirror twilight zone bullcrap is this me picking my college major me picking a new jacket for spring well to be fair you're buying online you've got to do a lot of research otherwise you'll just end up returning it 700 times until you find one that fits and the way we structure college is a freaking joke in seventh grade a boy asked me to be his girlfriend and i wasn't sure i heard him correctly so i panicked and just said yes and then he high-fived me and we never spoke again jamal if you're out there happy 11-year anniversary men over 30 in skinny jeans it won't be me it won't be me when the teacher asks if you have any questions but you sit there in silence because you don't even know what you don't even know that and if we're being honest nine times out of ten the question i have is probably stupid and going to make me look like an idiot so i'm not gonna ask it at all anyway one night stands but instead of having sex i just come over eat all the food in your fridge and leave wow that's a topical idea candy look i'm sorry if you're gonna come over to my house and eat all of my food i better be getting something out of it can you at least bring me over a beer or something you wake up you're a lizard sunning on a red rock it was all a dream the concept of selling feet picks to pay back student loans is already losing its meaning as you open and lick your own eyeballs to moisten them time to eat a bug look a man can dream alright the guy who picked on me in high school and then became a millionaire just came into kfc and i overcooked his chicken checkmate justin you freaking loser yeah i know it's a joke but if it was even remotely real it's one of the saddest things i've ever seen intergalactic marvel villains when they come to invade earth i go to america the only country ufos ever seem to land in bojangle's cashier the lady in front of you paid for your meal they've been doing a chain and paying for the person's meals behind them me oh that's sweet might as well keep the chain going what's the price for the people behind me now that family's order came to 27.73 oh well here is the eight dollars my meal was going to be take it off of their dinner i've only been a part of those chains once and uh luckily the guy behind me only ordered a 99 cent taco so i lucked out on that one how has serving impacted you my wife screwed 10 guys while i was gone and i'm afraid of fireworks happy independence day hero people who treat their birthday as a normal day think that they're more matured than everyone we're just miserable dude leave us alone when you google the lyrics of a song and realize you've been singing nonsense for six months sometimes i'll google the lyrics anyway and still sing nonsense you ever sang along to a nirvana song even if you know the lyrics you can't really know the lyrics after a couple of slices of pizza my three-year-old bursts into tears and says my mouth wants more but my tummy doesn't i've never related to anything more nor will you ever again does your stomach ever hurt so bad that you get completely naked on the toilet yeah oh yeah you do it as a precautionary measure just in case you explode you don't want to get it all over your clothes you ever get bored go to netflix but decide you're not ready for that kind of commitment right now so you end up watching youtube instead wow straight after job interview i thought i was okay five minutes later was okay i forgot to say a few things 20 minutes later i didn't even mention anything i practiced one hour later that was probably the worst interview in the history of interviews the next day hey still want to work here buddy they don't care i want to be hot enough to make people question their sexual orientation well i'm ugly enough to make people question their sexual orientation same dude picasso died in 1973. no one freaking talked to me i thought this man lived in 1500 yeah i always forget just how recently he was alive i had a tiny tiny blocked pore that nobody but me could possibly notice but don't worry guys i screwed with it for 20 minutes and now it's a massive welt of raw skin that everyone will definitely notice i got this battery power is critically low guess i better go to sleep power saving mode activated oh no oh no you can't outrun your problems but you can jog slightly in front of them and pretend you can't hear them because you have your headphones on what in the hell makes you think i can jog especially long enough to keep my problems at bay plagiarism girl i found your whole lesson plan on quizlet my rat costume finally showed up what does it look like a rat thanks i just found out that people who suffer from anxiety tend to re-watch the same tv shows all over again because we already know what's going to happen next therefore it creates a sense of safety and comfort and that's the reason why we keep re-watching them shut up i would have just stayed in the nut sack if i knew it was gonna be like this i think most of us would have but that's not for us to decide louis all you have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given to you i just can't same yeah same man it's so weird people are still asking what are you up to like obviously i'm home with my best friends the screens the reason i like staying up late so much is because between the hours of 1 and 5 am the world is quiet and no one expects anything from me i could literally stare at a wall for four hours with no consequences i love the silence and calm i love it doctors describe his condition as stable but homosexual me how bad is it doc give it to me straight i'm afraid i can't do that okay i'mma start studying damn it's only 1 17. i'll wait till 1 30. and thus the goal posts never stopped moving sucks how every girl i'm interested in is either taken or has good taste in men it is an awful curse isn't it dude if you already know how much i'm supposed to pay for my taxes just tell me no fine then i'm just gonna pay you whatever i think is fair okay but then you're gonna go to jail lmao as a therapist i can say confidently that while therapy is helpful what most people really need is money believe you me getting those emotions sorted out is one thing but not having to constantly stress over when you'll be able to [ __ ] eat next is the biggest and best thing in the world when your toddler screams and hits you after you tell them no excuse the [ __ ] out of my goddamn french but did you just threaten me i woke up tired a few years ago and i've never really recovered since good god some of these tweets are so old well now looks like i don't need to leave the bathroom for the rest of the week guard dog ignores staged robber during training exercise in thai jewel store you got a husky as a guard dog reasons i enjoy life i don't there is no joke i am unhappy not having a girlfriend not having a forklift unloading by hand oh okay there should be an antidepressant that makes you feel all the time the way you do for the two minutes after taking an urgent pee andy i can see why you've been conan sidekick all these years millennials every day i want to die millennials when a virus hits so they were lying weren't they look we've all got a preference of how we want to die usually it's just never waking up after we go to bed not drowning in a hospital room somewhere oh this is where you've been it's been like a week could not be me where were you on the night of february 25th well i bailed on my friend last minute and stayed home all alone i was gonna cook a healthy dinner but i ended up ordering a pizza and ate way too much then i spent the rest of the night aimlessly surfing the web and hating myself at some point i even started to cry please stop oh well let's take it all the way down why did i do that my wife and i have taken four photos together in the last two years meanwhile we have 93 photos of our dog sleeping since last week i mean you're kind of obligated to take photos of your pet constantly this is the prime of my life i'm young hot and full of depression okay a year ago this was our last normal week and nobody knew it yeah i took a trip a year ago with a bunch of friends little did we know it may have been the last one we got to take for years to come me muted on zoom but still doing the most with my expressions to show that i'm listening you gotta try somehow right i used to suffer from depression but through hard work persistence and never giving up i now suffer from anxiety and depression same gavin ain't that a peach your sad alcoholic name is your first name plus your last name huh oh oh how long does someone have to be dead before it's considered archaeology instead of grave robbing as an archaeologist i find this a very awkward question answer the question grave robber come outside no i'll give you vitamin d and serotonin okay fine enjoy skin cancer rappers are lucky as hell being born with names like lil uzi and gucci mane shake my head my parents named me brandon i think you've gotten more than you're giving yourself credit for here brandon now this is the freaking crap that would qualify this year as the future i've tried these and it's all fun and games until you take a sip and then get deep throated by a four inch ice rod just saying i don't really see a problem with that i see it as good practice personally but maybe that's just me i don't think the academy should honor a film with such controversial elements oscar voters weigh in on joker best picture two years ago was about a woman [ __ ] a fish you should never take the hollywood elite award seriously in any way shape or form and that includes everything but the tonys i'd say looking at you grammys looking at you emmys looking at you oscars although out of all of them i'd say the razzies are the best y'all ever had that experience where you've been hungry all day and your stomach just says screw it i don't even want it anymore oh yeah oh yeah it's currently what i'm banking on to lose weight hey what's up can you help me solve this are you kidding me oh oh i see didn't didn't quite work out like you wanted did it come with me i'm here to kidnap you nobody ever invited me back to their place before screw attractive people i mean yeah that's kind of the plan me thinking hmm now i need something sweet after i just ate that's my fat ass my mom making me come say hi to somebody i knew as a baby what the hell would you do that they don't remember me either i mean my mom's held a gun to my back for many reasons but that was the dumbest one my sleep paralysis demon waiting for me to stop looking at memes and fall asleep god dang always on that phone and on that glorious note we've come to the end of another video ladies and gents but before we get going let's take a look at today's fan art huh robin loves seeds mk fan art i love seeds well i prefer nuts but i think we can go with this for now look how cute i am always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed this video consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed it well then think about getting yourself subscribed and clicking that bell icon and hey if you're feeling super generous why not check out my links in the description down below and until next time i'll catch you later you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 650,230

Rating: 4.9731269 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, me_irl, r/me_irl, r/memes

Id: fS4jERdZKLY

Length: 16min 39sec (999 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 06 2021