r/Cursedcomments | noah... get the boat.

guys who sag their pants below there but why easy access for the homies next question what's up guys and welcome back to MA my name is Damian and today we're looking through our slash cursed comments we're melting the Arctic in reviving deadly germs indeed tomy plague doctor was in a viable career path who's laughing now not you cuz you tongue fell out idiot yeah what are some tips to stop biting your own nails easy imitate your arms thank me later but anticipate vias voice text because you will have arms I'm typing this with my nose thank you it solved the problem male dress will headbutt a female in the bladder until she urinates I'm sorry oh wait there's more that it tastes the pee to help it determine whether or not the female is ovulating so like humans I'm sorry that's even more concerning is that how you picture this you're laying in bed with your sweetheart she goes hey I had to use the bathroom you without a second moment's notice rise at a bed and head butter in the bladder she goes what the hell but pees and you're there lapping up the urine and going are you ovulating you're now single and in jail a concept do you think a pencil to a boy for five seconds and it's cube to shreds giving a pencil to a girl for 50 years and its pristine o- ends up in my butt chewed up or nah cuz now I got it no if you don't see him never was family so watch out for idiots on bikes hey easy they ever kill count on the back they're referring to the bus that's cruel but is that a kill count it's a stat tracker I love it Alexa rub my prostate you don't need her you need Jesus Jesus rub my prostate amen speech pathologist teaches her dog to use a sound board and now it communicates in sentences which I still think is the coolest thing ever that is amazing to me where are my testicles summer less amazing so can we ask animals for consent now asking for a friend get that out of my comments section right now you get that out of your K marry white never never return you're not allowed back they all shave your butt hair dude who the hell uses a razor when you got perfectly good teeth do the classic pretzel knot and bite them suckers off don't worry the dog is already dead she's taxidermy please don't break my window I get three more and you can make a sixteen legged coffee-table just saying I had to do the math in my head and yes he's right but that's also cruel mathematically he's correct but morally he's so wrong school rock formation in Indonesia that is sick holy cow I want to live in one of the eyes and I'll have a little fire and everything we're like wow Danny where do you live inside the eye baby what did do Hey see check it out hey I also looks like just a cozy place to kick back with some beer while your homey sacrifices the virgin I miss summer already me and the boys couple of Bud Lights couple of babes who've never had sex before sacrificed to numero uno Matt so just a fantastic let's name of the demon see now I can't stop speaking wingdings and ever I visit the Indonesian Skull wondering when dings sound like verbally why i season my cutting board and not my steak Oh see I prefer to season my mouth eat the steak raw and then light myself on fire it's a slow cooking process but it works every time today I hop rated on a little girl she needed Oh blood we didn't have any put her twin brother has Oh blood I explained to him that it was a matter of life and death he sat quietly for a moment and then said goodbye to his parents I didn't think anything of it until after we took his blood he asked so when will I die he thought he was giving his life for hers thankfully they both died thanks Jim it was on tribe wins lawsuit blocks Big Oil's been to destroy millions of acres of rainforest Hey look at them showing up in court too bad they'll be lawlessly murdered by mercenaries hired by big oil now that's a sad thought thanks que pasa 12 no I'm sad hey look there's something you slot in a weapon to give it fire damage stats Oh time to make my butt a flamethrower hell yeah I mean you could already do that with just some a lighter that's not really all you need lighter and power roses are red he shows no remorse Santa Claus is joining the terrorist force oh whoa Santa this is what you get for not believing in me you want jolly mother effers all the naughty kids get c4 hi Bobby you were terrible this year what is this it's napalm Merry Christmas the power of reading ha ha dude you can replicate the effect by shoving glow sticks of you but it's not easy read readings for chumps glow sticks are for winners sometimes bees get tired from flying I fall asleep inside flowers with pollen on their bee butts little bit but fuzzy little bee but when a flower nuts on your butt and just leaves you lying there like the heart when a flower nuts on your button leaves you lying there like the horribie you are why did you have to project those words onto the bee imagine you're a four-year-old waking up in the night in December to see it's snowing and you get really excited say you're an outside to make a snowman but really it's Elsa bent over on all fours and using our butt as a snow machine Merry Christmas the United States is the only major country that does not guarantee health care's are right we already have the right to health care it's called owning a gun how is owning again health care well my grandma broke her ankle so instead of wasting money and taking her to the doctor I just shot her that's health care baby hey what's the difference between cancer and my dad cancer came back for me hey what's the difference between me and cancer my dad didn't beat cancer this is just awful like genuinely awful a major video game publisher announced that your hometown be part of their new game what detail absolutely needs to be included huh the rate at which you'll be stabbed huh well is that the stent that needs to be included homeless couple getting it on NYC subway platform NSFW clearly hey chill he's getting his daily fishing tank I bet you it's chunky Oh see it costs you your dollars to say that you were a good person before you said that that hurts my heart blurs Brandon Brandon is 26 my stupid parents gave me a boy's name but call me apples Shh shewill made during sex is that the Apple in the mouth I thought you're gonna make a pig joke but here you are making a horse joke thanks chief moaning louder every ten the cashier scans one of your items please do not do this find two hundred and forty-five dollars worth of groceries moans turn into deafening screams cashier dude calm down you're in a store not in my basement now let me do my job meanwhile I am shrieking at the top of my lungs because I bought two hundred forty-five dollars worth of stuff at the dollar store my local dollar store hates me because I come in with like thirty dollars like a baller and I'm just like buying like pretzels and stuff and I throw them on the counter I'm like having a mutt lady ahaha I'm pretty sure they've always been like maybe a hair from just kicking me out of the store and banning me you get a billion dollars if you could start a massive argument at your family's Thanksgiving dinner what's your game plan so dad do you ever feel guilty for cheating on mom and causing her so much emotional pain that she turned to the bottle and died from liver failure dad I'll take my billion in a plane to leave the dinner see that one wasn't funny I just felt awkward for that one food mascots like a beat in a fight I love idubbbz but he looks like if Walter White's old kids instead of meth is that the pedo stache and the beats headphone haircut because I think it's one of them at least motorcycle was invented in 1885 people in 1884 kicks balls for gearing hey why didn't look and pull high five rice gum no but hey that's not the last time you left an Asian hanging am i right am i right anyone okay I'm sorry classic mall employee is listening to Mariah Carey's all of her Christmases you for the 50,000 so hundred twenty-eight to time you know it's a lot better if you think about how sexy I feed all while you listen so I'm saying Mariah Carey's feet crystal clean it with all sorts of look at all five toes intact mm-hmm look at her with all her appendages hey hey clitoris that big ol Red Dog the hell did I just read Pyrus was small but Emily loved him so much that clitoris became huge it's not red chief in the family of that shade but now yellow off basis your task is to blow a job interview in the first 30 seconds what do you do so huh how she teaches the sexual harassment policy comes in tied to shovel just oh yeah great no no I'm looking forward to this all week so I'm before we actually get a name you know how strict is the sexual harassment policy and where is the lines which you guys could have seen my face when I said that man these videos would be so much funnier if I had a webcam on how to make da go coconut in two easy steps huh looks like a Wookiee testicle come on man come on man come on man me his friend of opposite gender my mom if you flip your phone is now who look like a wiener you know what I can see it that's a really long Aretha though urethra something like that you're freaking me out with that urethra I can unlock my iPhone with my penis I can also use my left nipple for touch ID this is actually my greatest achievement that's cool I can unlock my eye with a razor blade anyway I go to scape woods today that's an asdf choke I can't I can't claim that how to talk to your cat about gun safety and again look at that cute little I can't get over how cute the one in the pamphlet is look at him hold are you so sad look out Jay but got you buddy oh you're so da you ever see something so cute the cheese like you turn back into being primal we can only like grunt and make syllable noises that's how I feel when I see cats like that remove my balls go on the walls my cat doesn't have opposable thumbs they can't use guns I have no fear telling a girl that you like her and asking her out she likes you back and agrees you don't wake up oh it's real you're dead I mean that's not what I intended to say but it would be nice what if something you like about society back then which wouldn't be socially acceptable today public hanging it was going me people not do things but no one comes to me for ideas on what to bring back NSFW what plot lines would we see in a dark Pixar universe Jerry's game where an old man is playing Russian roulette with himself I don't understand this joke I don't think that's a good idea to play Russian with that by yourself too much pain to stars causes too much pain and agony don't know why it's so popular nowadays I'm just going to use the toilet paper no that's not what a toilet brush is for Christine for those who don't get the joke she was wiping with a toilet brush think about how the bristles feel against your bum hole and type a comment one at a ten would you buy this product for me it's a three maybe if I'm you know real good and ride drunk I'll try it the guy went up to a food truck and the sign says fries $3 burgers $5 hand jobs $10 he goes to the counter and there's a gorgeous blonde woman working there and he asks her are you the one who gives hand jobs she says I sure AM it winks he replies well wash your hands cuz I want a burger and fries and no special sauce thanks I know you collect that stuff anonymous hero donates hospital 200 human kidneys I'm sorry you call that anonymous hero you know a human only has two kidneys right and he had literally like sorry the math is blanking on me he had literally a hundred times that I didn't just google it and you call him a hero no wonder he remained anonymous feel like the head Linda reading a lot different he also offered 130 human penises but was rejected lunch was already covered by a local cater hey wait a minute now this is even worse look at those little house for you little kitty cat friend but instead time to get the vacuum seal because you hit in the wrong part bub if you yell trick shot before you throw something to something it will do some weird stuff and hit the target with 100% accuracy I'm gonna make people regret having holes in their body man jumps off buildings screams trick shot somewhere someone just got spat on I'll do that with like small things that would annoy you like little corn little corn nuts I would throw it off a building go track shot and home hit someone in the eye ten thousand dollars I desperately need ten thousand dollars I've hooked into 401k a personal loan and nothing does anyone know anything out there that could provide that cash I would sell a lung at this point thank you in advance medical experiments PayPal sale one of your testicles there were 75,000 years ago thanks for the help I've looked into those nothing more than a couple hundred and specific illnesses I have seven kids I'd sell both my testicles in this guy do it for our slash curse two comments if you guys liked the video leave a like down below and subscribe for more content from MK if you want to catch more adamian Li you can find me at twitch.tv ford slash Damion Lee live and as always I'll be seeing you [Music] you [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 2,077,296

Rating: 4.9490547 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/cursedcomments, r/cursedcomments emkay, cursedcomments, cursedcomments emkay, emkay cursedcomments, cursed, cursed images, noahgettheboat, noahgettheboat emkay, emkay noahgettheboat, r/noahgettheboat, r/noahgettheboat emkay, r/noah gettheboat

Id: _ZakB9QJGNY

Length: 13min 13sec (793 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 06 2019