r/Cursedcomments | this makes me hurt

when you try so hard but don't succeed when you want a nut but only bleed thanks [ __ ] monkey what's up guys and welcome back to ma my name is Damien and today we're looking through our slash cursed comments no taco shells you just thought this and that's actually you know I like that I like that make your own taco shells heat ups or tortillas no ice just recent water no I see you being like a you mean cut okay being a jerk no eggs just eat your own balls I [Applause] wouldn't recommend that I wouldn't recommend that but hey chief you do you how old were you when you realized Rotem is just motor backwards oh wait until these guys find out about monk hey reddit how do you deal with that feeling that you've wasted a lot of your time in life by not wasting more of it go out and build a fence run a race shower a stranger screw a squirrel apply for a new job learn a new skill the world is your oyster just don't sit at home watching reruns of old TV shows all wishing you weren't wasting your time especially that squirrel thing honestly I do got the things I do for that I heard they love nuts according to locals this funeral home used to be a Pizza Hut oh well at least open the pizza ovens to good use they've read it existed in 1919 what kind of questions would be asked here what was the most regrettable trend of the tens chemical warfare no no no he said regrettable all right we plan to cut all homeless people in half by 2025 so it's a multiple step process first you cut them in half then you cook and feed them the other half so now they aren't hungry and when you're all done homeless people will take up less space and it'll make it harder for them to leave alleys with no legs you're welcome for the tip what are some NSFW history facts that don't get taught in school the former King of Portugal had a royal master baiter yes the hand of the king when my high school boyfriend broke up with me my ten-year-old brother walked in on me crying and asked what was wrong I told them and he proceeded to go log on a Minecraft join my ex's party and go set their town on fire damn my brother did the same exact thing except not in Minecraft hey B I've got a question is it illegal for me to shut off the power to my NEET sister's room and shut off her electronics she's arguing with my mother and I'm tired of it so I just want to flip the breaker to end her 12-hour Wow session little does B know that an and sisters hooked up the life support in the room hey if a public bathroom doors locked don't forget to try repeatedly open it and get the person using it paralyzing anxiety ha ha ha thanks my grandma will get pranked so hard ah damn this song makes me want to shoot a late-night show host cuz I'm to choke a baby congratulation you have cancer imagine finding us in a Children's Hospital the doctor starts default dancing I love I love the medical field do not use your genitals to stop a chainsaw blade don't know why this had to be said but someone needs to hear it this could've been very helpful few minutes ago so I'll let you know hey the one on the bottom right is trying real hard to be a good cupcake bunch of hedge hog friends you know this could go from our slice blessed images to our slash cursed images with a quick trip to the oven i freaking love kraft dinner well my fellow comedians at Canadian go to an igloo idiot that to show you the power of flex tape I saw this donation in half bill Swift saws the competition huh I know I'm gonna win no no November now thanks and seventh grade I want to see a movie with a boy and in the middle of it he was like they owe on a case and I was like excuse me and he pulled out a bag of Hershey kisses out of his coat do you realize what a good backup plan that is ah see that's why I always carry a dead chicken me hey it's camel balls liquid-filled by the way you know I've actually ate them before they taste sour but a bit weird yeah same the candies are pretty spot-on replicas I want Neal to describe the cause of my death at my funeral I don't think anything can make electrocuted by loose wire and vibrators sound good skeletons aren't scary what filled with this pulsing boozing meat and y'all think the skeletons are scary the meat scary the meat anyways that's my tweet I hope you enjoy my hope you join my Twitter account my name is mr Hayden a god offers you immortality and all you have to do is kill seven point seven billion people obviously you accept and do the deed what do you have for dinner - the next day about three billion foreskins I have two final wishes on I watch my remains scattered around Walt Disney World - I don't want to be cremated all right listen to words funeral pinata the kids will love it it's amazing how much candy fits into the human body cavity hey me up my white wife and I had a black child now we got a shiny on our first try darling doctor one hundred and forty thousand dollars a year furry artists on patreon 160 thousand dollars a year you know I think you Lobo and the furry aren't amount to be honest I'm sorry for the inaccuracies doctor yeah all right no matter how iris wonder this I don't look good well played I walked out into that well three artists are typically more competent and courteous than your average doctor so I could see that did you just legitimately tell me that a person who draws wolf but is more competent than I do to spend eight plus years in university to give you your lung transplant doctors are garbage and for your audits perform an infinitely more valuable service to society compared to them you will die in seven days you know it took doctors like 10 years of diagnose what was wrong to me some insisting us faking for attention while furriers I knew you just went that sounds like Crohn's if you're hearing me complain once and end up being right also I can't go to a doctor and ask the Dajjal rodent about wider than she is tall with tits to match now can I a Texas dad sold off his business and built a 51 million dollar amusement park for his disabled daughter with free admission for everyone with special needs Morgan's Wonderland has had more than a million visitors since it opened with one-third of its staff including people with special needs everyone like that so it's just a big vegetable washer know how to impress your ghost friends with your dance moves James the crash wasn't your fault promise I don't care how drunk you man you never woken up under your front yard my friend once got so drunk he fell asleep under his front yard because they didn't wake up we called it a grave pornhub users I fear no man but that big ground cast it scares me wait what does it do I never checked basically it turns you incognito mode into a family event this has to be the funniest in the history of Twitter okay I see what is this oh dear that doesn't look good could you please reply to our DM so we can look further into this all right that directly from the kernel delete that unit so help me God I'll put you in our 11 herbs and spices uh-huh looks like ratatouille too didn't have a happy ending love the colonel oh you want it you want to expose my business getting the 11 herbs and spices dredge that fool I have a right to live okay Woomer hmm that gum beer looks delicious forbidden gummy bear Oh women need to eat and so do I can we share I finally freaking did it I got a girlfriend no strings attached no caramel whoring I'm just genuinely happy I really love her and I'm super happy now I can finally use the relationship tag hey congrats on me where are you hiding her your trunk garage nah dude she stays in my basement she nicknamed me you're a ducking psycho and it's pretty odd you died next week what would probably be the cause 14 stab wounds in the lower abdomen inflicted with a 7.5 inch blade wrench with Clorox spray and bleach at 2:53 a.m. at a gas station in South Dakota just off a highway exit that's just a guess though remember kids or a star backwards is also a racecar but race car sideways is how Paul Walker died all right kids are gonna go race your mom to the bedroom final twist says body girl reach explosive climax I swear I've seen a porno buddy with the exact same title girls have read it what do guys do that is very cute but they don't know it how shoot their internal organs out of their anus as a defense mechanism well it's so adorable ha holes birthday party porthole near nor did I miss celebrating its second birthday pothole that's not a dang paho that's barely a hold off well Holies hold don't you dare it's his second birthday hey the infinitely got let me tenderize her I used it on the wrong kind of meat I'm in pain that is true agony imagine walking into my home and I have it the Infinity Gauntlet just hanging around oh my god you got a big those are the fluffiest waffles I've ever seen and you're happy about it Wow the cat's smile almost makes it look like it's poisoned the waffle and it's waiting for you to eat it to watch you die and I'll eat it when you go to bed need to take a dump but you don't need to when you wake up unsolved mysteries yeah because the boogie monster comes out sucks it out of your butt bet you didn't know that huh ASMR ASMR to help you sleep beating you until your conscious took a hold 22 minutes to put you unconscious with literally a slipper for God's sake just use a sledgehammer dad joke number 856 a horse walks into a bar the bartender asks why the long face the horse not being able to comprehend human language probably dumps on the floor and leaves am i right the dog walks into the same bar bartender says why the sad face unable to understand human language he then licks the horse poop and leaves the bar with a happy face what do you do when you'd but gets too big for regular toilet seats I didn't go for the toilet seat with my buttocks and fit off the toilet then I plan to my giant butt hole in the middle of the toy they didn't clock it were the river of poop then I flush and let poop water flow all over the bars floor then I go back into the bar and order a shot of Jameson announce feature a post from rainbow bisa MK dragon oh yeah I'll let go of the head crest is that what you call it it's also like the the side that's really cool that's really dumb I love that thank you so much we got your Twitter up right here combustible lemon at rainbow bisa if you guys want to follow that that is right there pause the video all of them show them some support thank you so much for this already this dope thank you for watching our slash curse comments if you liked the video leave a like down below and subscribe for more content from MK if you want to catch more of me you can find me at twitch.tv slash damien lean live and as always I'll be seeing you [Music] you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,758,646

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/cursedcomments, r/cursedcomments emkay, cursedcomments, cursedcomments emkay, emkay cursedcomments, cursed images, cursedimages, cursedimages emkay, noahgettheboat, noahgettheboat emkay, r/noahgettheboat emkay, r/noah gettheboat

Id: 9ROaVTKWf-8

Length: 12min 56sec (776 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 10 2019