r/Cursedcomments | ouch

she deserves to be remembered rest in peace catherine 1918-2020 nasa mathematician whose hand-done calculations took us to the moon dies at the age of 101. i tip my hat to her one legend to another wait a goddamn minute how's it going ladies and gents welcome back to mk i'm your host robin and today we're going to be taking another in-depth look at our slash cursed comments you can never have too much cursed in your life now can you it's like ranch you just can't get enough of it oh man if there was ever a divisive comment to make it was saying ranch is good i cannot wait to read the comments on this one let's get in there the water cycle the droplets are swimming in the liquefied remains of their predecessors like babies in a blood pool yes exactly like babies in a blood pool you got it so glad i grew up doing this not this yes me and my siblings slash cousins always were circling naked around my furry uncle alexa nuked the netherlands lmao shut up lol huh why does the sun come up at oh shut up i'm out of here man my dad drinking potion of strength too my dad holding the lasso of truth i sterilized my cat so she wouldn't have any babies and she brought one home from the street oh but when i do it it's kidnapping and i'm no longer allowed at chuck e cheese kissing my actual mom prank kissing my actual sister prank jesus christ this was more painful than the time i got stabbed 23 times blursed gaming gaming in the 90s was an extreme sport oh my god look at him go yeah it's solitaire but every 30 seconds after the first minute the ai slaughters one of your friends judging by when this photo was taken they really dumbed down solitaire didn't they boobs legendary me after gifting this shirt to my fat mail friend laughs in sith lord if this was meant to be an item in skyrim i can technically pickpocket it what windows xp shutdown sound stephen hawking's final words you think he was rocking windows xp in the end man you really think he was using windows at all and not you know a linux distro this is so true these days female teachers now female teachers when i went to school sylvester stallone was even cooler than a hot teacher he can shoot two assault rifles at the same time i would let him shoot my rifle the perfect teacher for an american high school ah you love to see it deadly soviet drill restoration next video restoring the soviet union yeah good luck spit-shining that one back to life a teen boy's body changes and he discovers he can shoot a white sticky liquid out of his body hashtag explain a film plot badly why is mine red don't look into it too much just have a good time cursed amazon amazon will now deliver inside of your home and record the whole thing orders pjs on amazon goes to bed wake up to someone putting pjs on me me what in the holy sh one penny i'm going to turn this single penny into one thousand dollars put the penny on the ground then when a kid picks it up kidnap him and hold him hostage for a thousand bucks peanut butter isn't as tasty as people think it's got a horrible texture it's not great for sandwiches and the stuff that's inside reese's cups and such isn't peanut butter the stuff from a jar has an awful texture and that goes for both crunchy and smooth remove the word think and i agree for those who park in the striped areas next to handicapped spaces you suck he's in a wheelchair and unable to move he's not parked you heartless bastard oh that does figure though it's a bmw wait it is a bmw right he can be nice and savage rest in peace mom keep your head up i have a boyfriend well i have a mom hello police i would like to report a murder it's called a family reunion what's your weakness her tears what's your strength her smile is she your girlfriend no she's my mom these porn intros are getting weird me about to beat my meat friend comes over oh oh right right right friends do things together ooh i'm not a fan of that one mary had a little lamb had they wondered what happened to the lamb but no one ever asks what happened to mary mary had a little lamb its heart was black as coal it crept into her room one night and ate her freaking soul what a lovely poem the hosts were left completely speechless woman makes out with her own dad live on radio to win a thousand dollars i'd give my dad a hand job for less than that god rest his soul ah how lovely he just wants to see his dad again the baby name karen is predicted to go extinct in just a few years glad to see my hard work is paying off one baby at a time i held my daughter's hand while she got her shot telling her that she's a brave little girl i burst into tears as the lethal injection took effect turning her diamond blue eyes to opaque marbles of cloud why are you killing your daughter she tried to out pizza the hut oh shoot tentacruel seems interested in your mom i've watched enough hentai to know where this is going yeah we all have you're not special this is amazing i want what they have you want to play playstation so bad they passed out after eating their kids okay not safe for work you wake up tomorrow and every living thing on earth has an overwhelming sexual attraction towards you to the point where humans animals bugs etc will involuntarily try to sleep with you on sight what's your survival plan to avoid death by snooze new continue with my daily life of staying inside and playing video games are you winning son memes that cure the sophisticated gentleman's needs condoms are pay to win while pulling out is a skill based game abortion is the cheat code this comment wins good lord does it fast food workers what is your sir this is a wendy's moment i worked at a liquor store a few years back one day a man walks in and puts two bottles of whiskey down and as i'm scanning the bottles i make the usual small talk how's your night going the man took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes and said well i just walked in on my 14 year old son completely naked video chatting a freaking middle-aged man so it could have been a lot better i didn't quite know what to say so i told him oh that's not good enjoy your drinks well the guy didn't have to spill that much information hope that middle-aged man's in prison now i'm getting a webcam how to make money with a webcam step one sell the webcam step two be female step 3 be a female with a ding dong step 4 become a raccoon wait what ah the blursed dress i would love a weather reporter to wear this and be a floating penis ghost head talking about the weather he's got two different versions of weather and only one of them is correct samsung announced the first ever flexible smartphone finally i can wrap my phone around my ding dong set it to vibrate and call myself that's not the intended use sir so just embrace it dudes typing p into all of our browsers pulls up pornhub as a suggestion because we all have ding dongs until it says slash [ __ ] horse cream pie page not found you freaking a-hole thought i was in for a treat it's a simple lifestyle oh no i don't have enough towels for every part of my body face first second you know i wipe my ass first so i can smell the scent of it while wiping my face that one's trying too hard i love my fellow toads me too i love my friends as well toads i also love my fellow toads i want mario to come in me i also love my fellow toads toads are the sex slaves for princess peach and mario what exactly are they doing with them and furthermore do toads produce psychedelic effects it's national sex day and the only thing i'm [ __ ] is stupid same yeah my cat's a real dummy oh i mean why fappacino ejaculate espresso all of them sound great hold up according to genesis we all come from adam and eve who had three sons think about it take all the time you need mother what did we learn that your cat can make your death seem like a suicide yeah seriously he slits your crap wide open man masturbation men women after she's done i'd love to eat the snickers oh good freaking lord man some of y'all just go too far i don't know why everyone here hates emojis and at this point i'm too afraid to ask the only good emoji is the sucking shrek off emoji oh that's what that one is i always wondered a hedgehog's penis is like a belly button and near the center of the abdomen that means this is oh god so does that mean that when sonic rolls he's sucking his own cup remember if you ever feel bad this guy played grass in his school play that's bobby he's quadriplegic oh dear how inclusive screw grandpa joe don't mind if i do yeah whatever do whatever makes you happy i guess it took me so long to create this template nobody acknowledges your new template read posts are getting too hot all day maybe my template's gonna die in new at least i made redditors who sort by news see this happiness noises ah that first picture reminds me of my girlfriend god dang we accept mastercard discover visa and you homosexuals can be exchanged for goods and services gays are now a currency this is great news i have so many in my basement i didn't know what i was gonna do with them really you couldn't think of anything at all me personally i'd see if they had any input on my decorating skills not even to mention my fashion sense these flower shells are shotgun shells loaded with flower seeds instead of birdshot or buckshot these shells can be shot into the ground to plant flowers the idea is that instead of taking life from the world you'll be giving it back police we received a noise complaint what's going on shotgun in hand gardening a vampire masturbating in front of a mirror bet you didn't see that coming god freaking dang it how am i supposed to explain to the family why i laughed during the funeral now i never liked grandma they took his fries he took their lives wow that rhyme probably took you an hour to come up with will you press the button you get ten thousand dollars but your parents have to watch you having sex with your girlfriend me realizing that i can get ten thousand dollars a girlfriend and see my dad for the first time and if you want to force them you can just have your parents join in ah there it is the low hanging not funny fruit different elements produce different firework colors barium carcium magnesium sodium uranium and copper the uranium fireworks in japan were epic you know the best part they did it two times in case you missed it the first time such great people when you're in online class and one of the girls has a 1080p face cam emergency meeting maybe she's a twitch wait it's the same thing anyway it's her mother's laptop emergency er meeting she's your sister emergencyist meeting big brain my girlfriend told me that if i bought her one more stupid gift then she would burn it so i bought her a candle modern problems require modern solutions i would have bought her a stick of dynamite well at least it'll make a better dildo than the candle does my laugh sound real just for the record these jokes aren't defensive to me in any way shape or form i just really hate some of them because they suck me trying to present a new meme template the seven people sorting by new that will see it i once made a new template about unvaccinated children it died anew if you had a 12-inch penis you could tattoo tick marks on it and use it as a ruler all right whips my absolutely brolic [ __ ] out and smacks it on the table next to my project at the local michael's arts and crafts early bird saturday event oh geez man oh well at least it was a highly descriptive action i'm picturing it now and i love it the decoy keyboard is working in cs go a decoy blows up after some time just saying well sick zombie 15 i hate to be the one to tell you this but this is not cs go it's the real world this local pizza place threw out their leftover dough in a garbage bin and it started growing previously on the walking dead the real man of culture finally an excuse to come on a car did you really need an excuse before this people have read it who smoke why it keeps the fish from going bad instructions unclear cremated my girlfriend oh that's unfortunate buddy people who fix mobile phones what have you seen on a phone that you shouldn't have seen a big veiny triumphant ding-dong thinking back i probably should have deleted it before giving it back as i'm not allowed to take pictures with customers phones were you implying that you shouldn't have seen the photo of your own giant manhood that you took on the person's phone i'm confused he has to are you a suck because i think we'd make a good pair are you a sock because i want to [ __ ] in you are you a chicken because you're impeccable are you a chicken because i want to [ __ ] in you i don't know who i am i don't know why i'm here all i know is that i must come amateur real men have the chicken [ __ ] in them you know i'm curious and disgusted alright new challenge can you do this try it if you can do this you need to move away from chernobyl i won a hundred dollars by picking this lock i once won a car by picking a lock it came with a dog and a baby inside i've never broken a bone in my life i've only broken six but those kids deserved it oh i bet they did i really don't want to go tonight honey why i don't fit in with your friends from work you'll be fine wear your blue suit you always feel more comfortable in that anyway gotta say frank you're wearing the hell out of that suit is she having never mind i don't want to know but you do know you do know according to my calculations kevin hart is the exact right height to give the tallest guy a [ __ ] while standing up straight oh no it's like a fireman came in your mouth excuse me it's even worse when you realize the liquid is white and thick better woke up for some water thank god i turned on the light before taking a sip every morning he takes a bath in your glass of water it's just the first time you've caught him production has been shut down on the batman robert pattinson test positive for covet 19 while filming obviously it's a bat born disease yeah we all saw that joke coming what movie could have been over in 10 minutes if the main character wasn't such a fool well if voldemort had conjured a shotgun to kill harry potter not even a mother's love would have saved him from that but no he had to be all melodramatic and avada cadaver the little chosen one he was a baby you could do it with a bucket of water or just drop him on the floor yeah that guy really didn't think anything through did he i mean what kind of infamous legendary mega super villain loses after attacking a high school he doesn't sound like a very effective guy to me when your parents ban porn websites so you use reddit instead improvise adapt come which one's your favorite i like not safe for work hentai and 2d titty touch i use r slash ah for all my faps yeah there it is 2003 i'm gonna be a famous artist 2010 i just want a nice car 2016 maybe next year i can afford health insurance 2020 i hope i die soon 1907 i'm gonna be a famous artist 1939 i'm going to invade poland it always comes back to hitler doesn't it also if you're curious as to where i am on the scale i'm at the i just want a nice car part and i am about to hit maybe i can afford health insurance i love america the villains and films before the sad incident were like all right mom i'm ahead to apply at the art school seriously whatever let's move on america be like you must be 21 to screw up your own body you must be 18 to screw up someone else's you can screw up your own body with gun change my mind you have to be 21 to buy pistols sometimes it might feel like it but you're never alone me who lives home alone taking a crap look down there's something sucking your butt i genuinely wasn't expecting that one bro what's this my little cousin ate one of my wings and tried replacing it genius replace his sippy cup with alcohol see who has the last laugh american news every 10 minutes dead body reported the brown body adds to the realism there are no accidents so saith master oogway wow what a super duper happy note to end on mk demon oh boy here we go oh jesus oh look at that thing it's horrifying oh always remember ladies and gents if you even somewhat enjoyed this video consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed it well then make sure to get subscribed and click that bell icon and until next time we'll catch you later you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,796,089

Rating: 4.9520702 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, cursedcomments, cursed comments, reddit cursed, reddit memes, reddit funny, cursed memes

Id: yultbZp2RPg

Length: 17min 36sec (1056 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 13 2020