r/Cursedcomments | th-that's not allowed...

don't call yourself a pansexual if you've never deep throat of the pan okay I guess by that logic I'm step that sexual mmm hey no man come on what's up guys and welcome back to Ma my name is Damien and today we're looking through our slash first comments one wait whoa whoa wait woman banned from giving birth after having 44 kids whoa first of all impressive second of all were you speedrunning how do you have 44 children what aren't waterslides generally closed or too many accidents oh yeah normally but that's rare case I guess hey Toby on the tele I love that guy imagine not knowing it crushes cat's name it gets worse when you're apologizing for running it over hey I'm sorry for running over for snow your cat after a male ant inseminates the queen ant it is murdered imagine the reward for finally getting laid being dead at this point I'd take it what would you do if you had a button and every time you press it you win $100,000 but one person dies well of course I do the obvious they can get an auto clicker I want that one hundred G's baby what's a loved one enemy in real life babies apparently farming them for XP is look down on them well that's because it takes too long for a new one to spawn you idiot you dummy imagine winning nine months just to grind XP not efficient if my toaster burns everything it's setting for then white is sitting nine existent what would it do it's for people who want to get really funky in the bathtub do it I want to commit postive bathtub it's a forbidden bath bomb mmm-hmm the exclusive one-time use you're in hell but if you beat the devil in the game of your choice hell yeah what game do you pick the game to seduce me into a relationship if the devil loses get out of Hell card if the devil wins then at least my time in hell me more entertaining dude that's just Stockholm Syndrome with extra steps yeah maybe that's part of the game crashing Thanksgiving dinners hey Danny I'm a big fan just turned 12 in your videos inspired me to start binge drinking thank you man happy to help a fan hey what's something that's boring to do during the day but fun to do at night blood sacrifice is a do one every week one day you'll be browsing in a store and pick the clothes you'll die in not if I die naked in an orgy yeah one day you'll be browsing in a gay bar it picked the guy you'll die in just as I intended I got a job at Comcast and completed training so I could fix my own cable because it was faster than being on home to customer service you know I did the same but with abortions way Sebastian Sebastian why would you hold on now pause what was your they don't pay me enough for this crap moment while at work you know one time while shooting for browsers for Kieran Lee I had to dive into a pool and swim from one end to another while wearing a robe that weighed me down I had to do many takes because of technical difficulties every time I held my breath and reserva thought I was going to pass out and then proceeded to get screwed in the buff oh wow that's someone heard of me at work - the swimming pool part the robe and everything else was you know that happened but not the swimming pool what's your let that sink in fun fact the insides of the male urethra is rifle like the barrel of a gun which causes urine to come out in a twisting motion which keeps flow straight instead of spraying out everywhere so you're saying one can shoot a double oh seven inch or through a penis that's right talk about a Golden Gun when you know this is a hair on your screen uh nice try I have cancer I'd have the seven point seven billion people on earth what do you think no one's doing right now contemplating how to kill me good blissfully unaware our plan is falling into place nicely ComNet anyway hey wait a minute oh this is going how to talk to women how to cope with rejection massive anime tents you know net massive anime tits doesn't look use them up at all I had to get a new one last copy got to sticky oh no thanks when you're double homicide cases handed over to four teenagers and a dog hey what are you doing here I wouldn't want that horny Fred picking around my dead corpse oh I would Tuesday are more emotionally prepared for a zombie apocalypse than for a family get-together yeah but in a zombie apocalypse no one will ask me from Dayton a nice girl yet they also want to ask why I buried an axe in my uncle's head anyway how you guys doing you know he's lucky sharks are herbivores he'd be dead mail ladybugs could spend up to four hours mating with a dead female before they realized something's not right these are confusing times wait they're not supposed to be dead what are you doing screwing out with ladybugs dude stick to your own species bro yeah you spelled Frick Hey did you know the word flick kind of looks like Frick indeed there's no the word duck sort of rhymes with Frick not really but did you know I'm addicted distorting my dead wife's ashes oops you just killed someone what's the most creative way to hide the body ever since I was a kid I'd always thought that fighting to hide a body maybe someone keep a somewhat temporary then leave an anonymous tip the police about it being in a certain place they'd then dig that place up realize it's not there and move on then I'd bury the body in that place the freshly dug soil won't be suspicious and the police wouldn't look there because they already have trust me this tactic works great no one's found Damian yet hey wait wait what's going on wait hold on whoa hey whoa wait ho hey hold on now my pubes are too long so's my wiener where's the scissors in the junk drawer there are probably spots a floor inside your house that you've never stepped on the day after I moved in I dragged my wiener over every school the day after I moved in I dragged my wiener over every square into this house you know why would you buy dog flavored ice cream uh uh it's ice flavored dog cream get it right oh my god is that a little guy oh my god don't eat what if he tastes better than anything else on earth damn ethics getting in the way am i lunch yet again look at the music cute little girl named um Oh University gym girls bathroom has not only free condoms but free Lou Oh finally a bathroom is offer snacks and drinks back up because if you hit this car while my kids are in here i'ma beat your button to the police comes hey yo kill the bee and beat off mmm and then I want to hit the car hey why is there a little 18-plus on the bottom left well it can be used as a butt plug rocky more like cocky getting a light wiener yeah funny imagine being scared of a wholesome yellow bear when he could sue honey like he couldn't sue his enemies with passion everyone's favorite drink epilepsy my brother loves us so much he's dancing on the floor aesthetically dude was doing the same thing we thought that the lepsy the poison I pick up my mom's phone call I'm gonna finish harder daddy I'm not gonna moan on the microphone so I'm you're gonna get that I'm not about listen I know how the internet works somebody mode on the microphone I'm gonna see that on like 4chan somewhere where it's like a listen I put I put the reddit guys moans - this pornography yeah listen to this oh my god it's so big they probably should pick up the foot if you're getting screwed by your friends then what can I say when mom calls I gonna answer DeYoung some girls are like high angels so sorry to bother but where did you get your top from and dance from guys are like I would have put them I want to put a McDonald straw that Fred this is before it kills me Stu I want to put a McDonald straw and your button suck I'll run through a scorching-hot desert for a thousand miles barefoot with scorpions over my body will eating 40 Popeyes biscuits with nothing to drink just to suck the fart out of your butt you last you straw that's dedication and then we fear Maddy kind of popping I can understand so bad so dumb my cream / jelly filled donut didn't have any filling this morning you could fill your own don't on dude yeah little Jason's first selfie megan is last what the heck it's my kid that's no kid does a grown man would you punch a little kid for $5,000,000 and he's knocked him out once I saw a kid being beaten up by four older guys down the street of course I went to help he stood no chance against the five of us will they be Avengers but bullying some child James French crime killed two people death electric chair on August 10th 1966 last words how's this for a headline french fries you know I like my fresh crunchy not burned almost empty Pringles can me what in the sweet titty doing Christ a children doing these days preparing for their future careers of course where was the weirdest place you've masturbated on top of my girlfriend when I was kicked out by her horrified parents God way to ruin the funeral hey wait whoa hold on man he didn't tell me it was a funeral grab yourself a tissue box and watch the grave of the fireflies dude why are you jerking out the World War two dramas no no no no just a child starvation god I'm so bad oh my god if baby oil dissolves Kaunas what the hell is it do to babies you know this may be shocking but babies and condoms are made of different material it's like rock paper scissors baby'll defeats condom baby defeats baby oil and condom defeats baby but what beats all three ah glad you asked microwaves when you close your eyes you see the loading screen tips for the situation you're in I just want to sleep stop giving me details about how to hide a body why ask for a roast when you can't handle the heat you know I met with a girl who had eight people who take everything too seriously always up for a laugh and a bio I had I could fit two fingers in one nostril in mine she messaged me saying that's an impressive nostril you have to which I replied Thanks you see my butthole and I was probably unmatched think she didn't even taking me seriously that's a great response what are you talking about that's genius that's hilarious the bleeding tree plot twist it's a hollow log and a homeless man slept in Andover night sometimes that's nature dude my cat died today I'm so sad my pillow smells like him Oh it'll be okay hey sue Mia's corpse I'm horny hey whoa dude hey someone's dead kitty cat you can't do that this man got his college degree hours before his death and the least he doesn't need to pay his student loans anymore always look at the bright side I used to be a glassblower and still occasionally do it as a hobby my grandson asked me to make him a special vase for his Christmas and he gave me a picture of a bomb the idiot things I don't know what it is so I'll make him a huge glass wiener instead he could still smoke out of it though when you get too high and start overthinking everything no finally some good jackoff material hey well don't do that to the party he's just trying to help you make hamburgers dude he's Hamburger Helper are you kidding I holes into that pumpkin yeah I hose those are now these are jack-o'-lanterns ejaculate earned now dude it's jacked in a lantern thanks for your contributions reddit if you had to beat the devil on one competition for your soul what would you challenge him in you know I'd have a [ __ ] competition I would bet that I could jerk myself off better than he could jerk me off I'm not gonna win where I'm gonna receive a [ __ ] that is so good that it's gonna be worth my soul 200 IQ why dude if the government finds oil in your backyard thence their property but if you find drugs and it's yours hey what about the kids that are buried in my garden one of the government's asked it for a friend nothing gets through this armor okay yeah Keanu Reeves is likely to die in your lifetime if you're under 20 not if I kill myself first and now the feature a post from Chris de Pula hello I'm an art student slash character designer from the Philippines here's a fare an art for the boy Damian I turn it into a badass demon hey I just wanted to say thank you because your videos are the ones that keep me alive when I'm stressed out from schoolwork so whenever I'm down you know this is sick I'd be a hot demon now I wish I look like this in real life that is sick that is super cool and we think we've included your your Facebook page go follow this guy that's time that's mad talent krysta Pula thank you so much you're a legend and that brings us the end of our slash curse comments if you liked the video leave a like down below and subscribe for more content from FK it it's always I'll be seeing you [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,970,778

Rating: 4.9593596 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, r/cursedcomments, r/cursedcomments top posts, r/cursedcomments best posts, cursed comments, cursed images, r/cursedimages, blursed images, r/blursedimages, r/blursedimages top posts, r/blursedimages best posts, cursed, blursed, roast me, edgy, r/cursedcomments emkay, reddit funny, reddit memes, emkay

Id: X8pGJ26vLHY

Length: 13min 20sec (800 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 25 2019