r/Cursedcomments | STICK EM UP, ONII-CHAN

what's it like to have a pet goat I know sacrificed mine a while ago but hey now I got this sick new car what's up guys and welcome back to m'kay my name is Damien and today we're looking through our slash cursed Commons getting laid is like buttering bread a credit card will work but it's a lot easier using a knife it's 200 IQ get they me later this is the stone used to evolve easy into a ghost type yeah just try didn't work perfectly though the blood was a little irritating to clean yeah it's just a small small side-effect that's all you can change your skin color with a marker when it's shoved up your butt what do we have multiple shows up my butt well there's no longer about changing your skin color is it it's about pleasure you chameleon seven years ago I asked the girl if she wanted to be friends they asked her she want to be my girlfriend she said yes both times you know I did this too and I'll be asking to marry her soon she said no twice but she'll then to love me in my basement what are your intentions with my daughter me oh you already know sir you already know my intentions oh I'm gonna destroy that throat yeah yeah like a King Kong yeah what are you interested in that most people aren't animal penises I was amazing learn that men have bigger wieners than the largest gorilla doctor penises are corkscrew-shaped so on and on that actually is very interesting I'll bet your search history is - yeah if you feel lonely while you're masturbating just imagine the hundreds of thousands of other people masturbating the exact same moment and suddenly you're part of a group event how about you stop feeling and start stroking get on people up down up down pick up the pace bike your voice is permanently bass boosted you know imagine hearing a bass boosted moan at 2:36 a.m. coming from your parents that's funny call your sexual partner daddy / mommy as creepy as hell and just gross depends but what the hell it's the best ones to call my mom you're now breathing manly you now realize there's no comfortable spot in your mouth for your tongue you are now manually holding your job you haven't blinked in a few seconds go ahead and blink you realize you can see a little bit he knows all the time right hey marques Brownlee my mouth isn't comfortable for my tongue can I keep it in your butt maybe Gucci gloves I want to murder my husband and these then drink a nice glass of wine I'm a wine chick yeah I'll keep observing Columbus day thanks what are you due to observe Columbus Day get lost in a grocery store looking for spices well I personally call fold-over natives on the bus but I guess do you bro that's a link to my aunts pornhub line I've never cooked a link faster than ever I've never clicked a link faster than after reading this please stop faffing in my aunt no scooby-doo gang and Red Dead online it's not for the cartoon of the porno wait there's a scooby-doo cartoon yeah dude many actually me gets dog my dogs balls you didn't have to cut me off well of course I'd saved my dogs balls Oh weren't I pass on a delicious snack you get someone the nearest wheelchair like Thor's hammer boy go to a hospital and start stealing vegetables Peter Rabbit of the concrete jungle can we agree but is nice but a warm smile and a beautiful laugh and a chill caring personality priceless or a pulse of pulses all I need now no pulse works - hey whoa tomato how do you have weight oh never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics well tonight's plans ruined it's like you don't want me to snort my twins ashes anally using a metal straw on a hydraulic press yeah no we don't want that actually you're right now magical schools too hard I'm just gonna start doing searches in my basement I get to play with so many cool tools for one night all crimes are legal me t-bags IRL dude that's just called necrophilia come on do something a little more hard minion coochie oh if that ain't centered on one none reddit nothing is harder than PSone Hagrid big of mine Ricardo oh I think I just came so hard that my internal organs have blasted on the wall why'd you show me this he's got these that got a tally of his points dude only three elderly they move so slow they should be easy to hit he's not trying hard enough first night in a new house and my wife cooks a plastic bag on the brand-new stove where's the boy at an angle yeah I was worried about scratching the glass no I think he meant for your wife it's worried about scratching the wife feeling my son kicking my wife still against the most beautiful feeling in the world not when you can see his leg I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and I'm not afraid to leave the same way that's the gangster way to go about it what's a toxic trait you have laziness yeah me too can't even be Irish to write to hole sandwiches oh my god you're finishing each other's semen bulls no no the answer was sentences yeah that's what I meant I asked a girl out and she said what don't you understand about a restraining order this doesn't mean she likes me what do I do I think she wants to sleep with you dude nice job bro go hit it thanks homie I'll head over to our house now update I'm currently hiding on the roof update - she just called the police they told me she has a restraining order whatever that is what do I do now comrade update 3 shrek kidnapped my girl hey so why are you using tinder well my boyfriend died last year so I'm just trying to get back in the dating scene really Dan I said on our first date was use a Ouija board to get his permission to smash well that's gentlemanly he wants permission smack and come if you smack someone with your palm the orgasm immediately if you back hand them the immediately prove themselves your one weakness is that you cannot hold granite slaps self multiple times to slap self multiple times to orgasm at inhumane rate gains power of levitation and telekinesis everyone becomes my slave and I backhand myself while I levitate over them to poop all over them cert my ultimate dominance you get $1,000 for each crime you commit you have a week to get $1,000,000 or you lose your loved ones what crimes you committing if I solve crimes will my family die faster yeah actually fortnight chapter 2 is here where we drop in straight off a bridge thanks Homer as Lisa isn't clogged a dishwasher yeah you pull a damp on string I'm single people who enjoy salt and vinegar chips are sturdier breed more prepared for life's challenges peel the skin off your tongue goodness yeah and then fry it boom bonus chip Christopher Columbus took three months to cross the Atlantic in 1492 the International Space Station takes 15 minutes yeah but how many tribes gonna wipe out none there's no lasers not yet nothing gets me out of the bed in the morning like all the blood my body rushing out of my vagina as soon as I sit up and having a sprint to the bathroom yes same but without the vagina hey whoa wait okay weird breakfast cravings go meth thanks meme Ulis when I was 13 me and my sister downloaded this movie from Pirate Bay the movie started then something seemed fishy because it wasn't animation this black car drives up to the house that suddenly two guys get out of a vehicle yell when the backseat door on a woman comes out then I know where they start doing her on the car clearly we had been scammed and I don't stand for that this is for Hong Kong I say as I pull up pictures of me this is for Hong Kong I say as I pull up pictures of Mei over watch this fat wagon and fiercely masturbate the protest you're supposed to be having there you go you did it engineers build a prosthetic nerf gun that could be fired using muscle activity cyberpunk 2077 if I ever lost neuron I do this but with a real gun mmm no no by that chief the first one was called spider-man homecoming and we shot up thousands of miles away from my home and this film is called spider-man far from home and I shot a like 20 minutes for my parents house but third one's called no homo and I literally shot it inside my daddy's bajo thanks Tom it's funny because it does even have a nose so what does he need the tissues for oh brother oh dude yeah no idea send nudes so I know you meet at home safe it's a simple spell but quite unbreakable oh I wanna make McDonough do this hey whoa wait you came to the came 2 the wrong neighberhood onii-chan I mean the image makes me incredibly uncomfortable I'm not even gonna lie to you I feel a great sense of fear whenever I look inside all the eyes all their soulless anime eyes the orgasm and the sneeze are uncannily similar and build up and ending except nobody says bless you after you orgasm hey the priest does thanks priest bless banana this is the best thing about bananas you can peel this banana and I'll still be a tasty banana people are pretty similar it's what's on the inside that counts I don't care if someone's covered in tattoos you can peel a person and they'll still be a tasty person whoa hold on a second you handed me in the first half I'm not gonna lie to you pigs orgasm lasts for 30 minutes Oh your wife's a lucky lady damn you know Shyne that dude karma till feels bad man you offered 1 million dollars USD if you can hide a pair of car keys from the entirety of the FBI force for 7 days where do you hide the keys ah probably the same place I put the bodies that's worth well enough so far you can refill anything at will your bank account your refrigerator your pot stash the bladders people who annoy you endless possibilities imagine someone just took a dump and you just refill their butt ah another round huh if you went to bars declared war and then made peace they need technically achieved world peace you know you'd get the same as long if you killed everyone but no one comes to me for ideas this is yo that's gonna be my what every watch every morning to warm up Carl and shag you stuck doing the Mach stuck so it's forceful doing the Macarena for nine hours me and my brother watching my dad get the leaflet shush wait wait hold on well now I'm confused so are you doing the mock are you doing the Macarena till this is this is where I'm confused now okay all right okay all right if a girl says you're so annoying I hate you make me fight me you're a loser she's caught feelings what did she tell you to stop touching me there I'll call the police I mean she really likes you it doesn't mean that at all oh this is kind of funky reminds me that scene of guardians of the galaxy where Chris Pratt's getting sprayed down with that orange stuff but a shower or a car wash oh no that's how you clean the bodies before you eat them it's fantastic is real efficient forgive me Father five sin technically that means the same thing is sorry daddy I've been in come on come on look technically that means the same thing as sorry daddy I've been a naughty slave this woman was left with a single nostril after surgery to fix a dog bite wound I'm definitely not splitting a bag of coke with her wonder what it sounds like when she sniffs that's my question cats bring you their catches because they genuinely think that you can't hunt for yourself and they want to help out that's why that's what should always eat the catch in front of them so they're happy Oh slash mad lads stuff it up your vagina now don't do that don't do that it's not you that's not it that's never a good move oh the Glenlivet no ice no stir no glass while redefining how whiskey can be enjoyed introducing the Glenlivet capsule collection guys I don't know how to tell you this teams are gonna put these in their butts teams I'm 37 and I'm gonna do it hello my friends here with me bedtime was half an hour ago my sixth Earl just walked out leery I didn't asked his father if a duck is a predator some things are too important to go to bed without knowing dogs are sexual predators and legally required to tell you but don't what the I know right if a tiger attacked your mother-in-law and wife at the same time who'd you save the tiger conservation whoa whoa what new wearable skin lets you touch things in VR and be touched - that's really cool dude what nobody could stop me from putting it on my wiener all right okay okay all right oh my god my brother went on his first date tonight this makes my heart so so happy and the order vegetables that's terrible that's awful there are two very important holes in a woman's body and not those you just thought about you filthy pervs they are nostrils which allow woman to breathe while suckin a wiener wait they're still breathing for you guys yeah you're behind dude water solves all problems lose weight drink water clear skin drink water die to your man drown them agreed every woman I married has drowned me once thank God in a dark sorcery and could take our shots on that in my life force and that's gonna do it for our slash curse comments if you guys liked the video leave a like down below and subscribe for more content from MK if you want to catch more of me you can find me at which TV slash Damion Lee live and as always I'll be seeing you [Music] you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,575,375

Rating: 4.9552989 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/cursedcomments, r/cursedcomments emkay, cursedcomments, cursedcomments emkay, emkay cursedcomments, cursed images, cursedimages, cursedimages emkay, noahgettheboat, noahgettheboat emkay, r/noahgettheboat emkay, r/noah gettheboat

Id: YgJDjSrDqxg

Length: 12min 25sec (745 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 21 2020