r/Cursedcomments | EAT IT

Oh we'll baby platypus forbidden gummy bear white hats don't I'm gonna welcome back to MK my name is Zack and today we're taking a look at our slash cursed comments how flat could a cat be sawed really flat one yesterday on the highway was about one centimeter you monster if you jump off a bridge and you yell parkour it isn't suicide just a failed stunt don't ever text me again plague ate something happened 1 out of 5 stars I started a disease in China and it started in real life my mom said my eyes are gonna fall out for looking at my phone too much who wants to freak my eye sockets I know a guy I am the guy I'll take the left you take the right you ever just moan when you poop only when I put it back in so I can poop a second time ok so here's the real theory if Olaf is made of snow stones twigs and a carrot where did the eye balls come from there else's egg sex I don't like that crunchy fication isn't that what they did to Jesus crunch fi him crunch fi him that people cried god I always hated my stepmom I'll take her she's dead did I stutter get a puppy they said you won't be so alone during quarantine they said they were right he's looking straight at your junk um it's not a - toys not with that attitude the guy from the Flex tape commercial wants to see me bill Swift wants to seal your cracks if you catch my drift I'm so sorry that's a lot of damage slap Cookie Monster steals the last cookie from a starving Syrian refugee girl after Cookie Monster has run out of cookies cookie monster will eat her Syrian family to alcohol because no great story ever started with a glass of milk turns out it was just a shot of [ __ ] what did the bully at your school do something kind that was completely unexpected died of bone cancer all three in one shampoo can be foreign one if they're not afraid to use it as mouthwash it can also be a 5 in one if you're not afraid of using it it's Lube oh my goodness you guys I got accepted into Art and Design High School in New York World War three prevented how many people have you slept with 0.5 you cut her in half no I found her like that Oh duolingo bimbo if ocation 2019 cute 2014 classic nice 2012 eats human skin 2011 this might be a harmful black magic Siegel Star Wars rise of the blood pressure many cats live into their 20s my grandma's cat lived to 24 and was perfectly healthy till my mom hit him with the car by accident I know I shouldn't laugh but that last part came out of nowhere just like the car what's the most annoying part of sex digging up the body Jesus Christ know that one returned on his own dudes be trying to bend you all crazy during sex like calm down before I fart hello granddaughter love you stars get $18,000 for anal and I don't even get a warning parents can't be rude we're gonna die in a freakin gulag but man it'll be worth it battle of the personalities all women are Queens if she breathes she's a thot looks like the one in my basement isn't I thought nice turtle in that tip wait what that's just her ponytail from coochie air trying to find a doctor at an anti vaccine rally why would a doctor be here because this is auntie Beck's rally all he has to do is sneezing he has like 40 plus new patients it's a great business idea Alabama husband saved wife's life by donating kidney after spending a year dieting and exercising to get his blood pressure low enough for surgery this is when we realize it says Alabama husband and it starts to make much more sense why they have the same blood type Oh watch a trauma surgeon react to action injuries up next terrorist breaks down bomb scenes in movies simple electricity guide amped be like what are you doing step volt lesbian of the pool what is your wisdom world hard and cold of titty soft and warm titty can be hard and cold too if he's dead Ivan got suspended twice in school suspension five times always skipped classes had a 2.4 GPA and did nothing but freak around you can do it kids too bad we can't all sleep with our teachers how many dogs have you killed one but that was an accident the dog fell down the stairs and landed in a bathtub full of water and toasters on the way down the stairs hit the wall on my gun fell off the shelf and shot at seven times could have happened any one sport movie coach with no back story injured me they should spice it up say got injured because of a broken ding-dong wall balls deep in a squealing I'd imagine a squirrel making a nest at your window and being able to watch them sleep and grow or waiting till they're ripe what if you had to have sex every day during pregnancy to keep building the baby with the same man this is a great question perhaps if you mix it up you can combine genes like a build-a-bear mom why do I have dog years if sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome I guess now it's clear why everybody calls me handsome they should call you recycle I like to call this one that tiresome Frick too tired if my boyfriend was a worm I'd cut him in half so I could have two boyfriends why do you need him to be a worm to do that reasons to date Asian tight coochy might be tight but it's gonna be all blurry anyway a wife that's served by association you will address me by my husband's rank ok corpse a dog so cute can we pet you why is he always rolling in the grass but what happens when he has to pee is there a kinky patch you know I've never done a chia pet but I tried really hard you know what he'd be proud of you good work that's actually what Bob looks like now I have 10 easy butterfly knife tricks it's not always love when you feel a butterfly in your stomach can switch oh no finally see it wasn't necrophilia just wait until he raises his arm and the mesh top shears off his nipples oh man I hate that talking in the group chat you send a meme everybody sees it the group chat goes silent shouldn't have said names about the slaves in your basement firefighters are struggling to control wildfires burning through the radioactive forest in the abandoned territory around the Chernobyl nuclear plant the large fires stirring up radiation in the area I do not have a radioactive forest fires at Chernobyl on my bingo card you know you're freaked when you see these eyes appear I thought the bottom left one was a censored hentai cream pie and fisting I honestly thought people won't eat it then had a GF who was super into it depending on how I cont or did my hand in her she would make the same noise each time so I would attempt to force her to speak sentences like a muffin huh I wish I could unread my boyfriend spent an hour looking for this loud frog outside in a puddle and when he finally caught him I took a pic of both of them and he literally said come jar Mono blur spider-man mr. stark I feel smug good this one thousand year old Buddha statue was revealed to have a monk in and inside it's a super special kinder egg scream powered microwave just put a human inside and the microwave will never stop when your son is going through a phase adopted that means stepmom can have some fun man dies after freezing himself iceberg and attempt to beat avatar aang record get Frick to poser I deserve the seat because I am a woman I gave my seat for an old lady in the bus next day I lost my job as a driver this world is cruel I didn't find any hair on your shirt so who's that bulb I guess shaving the dog really didn't do too much my mom began watching videos about 5g towers causing Corona and she actually believes it I don't wanna install Facebook without her noticing it low uninstall her this is indeed the big brain move the idea of ghosts that moan and may have been started by children that heard their parents having sex in an adjacent room and dynamic herded not just hurt but also seemed that Munder the bed sheet this makes so much sense now so why did Scrooge see ghosts with che Oh Oh No he's shedding but it looks like he's wearing a gecko onesie what do you do with the gecko sheddings put them in the oven and they crisp up like chips need salt though did King Tong really think he was gonna date that lady now I was gonna use as a condom for what he needs for when he found that Queen Kong coochie don't call me handsome if you ain't gonna hand some of that coochie over me when my grandma calls me handsome hot dog shaped his spheres rebrand it to just the tips if you have my investment nobody Asian aunties and uncles on whatsapp you're afraid to get picked by Mother Russia the cashier don't even worry about it me 15 cents short of the total short on change I'll just take your firstborn as payment yeah I was gonna ask what's the what's the baby's role in this sister's struggle to self isolated I've said it before and I'll say it again I really want to freak their neck gap I once won a car by picking a lock and came with a dog and a baby inside sure death is scary but remember the Toy Story 3 monkey amatures the baby had suspended on metal spider legs from the first one was the real stuff I still meet him in my nightmares freak you i fap to that stuff let's make a threat of really stupid superpowers I'll start you can fly but only straight up you always know how many spiders on a 20-foot radius but not where they are you can turn invisible but only while screeching at the top of your lungs you'd become incredibly good at public speaking whenever you jack off I just realized why podiums exist sometimes your soul mate was there all along you just never noticed for a long time ya sisters are great germophobes have read it what did germans ever do to you worst camp experience ever mom of 3:30 is often mistaken for sons sister and a teenager people always assume I'm dating my mom when we make out in public you are given 10 million euros in a dead body how would you go about getting rid of it freak the dead body until it disintegrates and use the money to buy more bodies I don't think you understand the point yeah why would you prick perfectly good food slowly pulls out from rotisserie chicken man this is just uh what's the word looking for despicable awful oh hey quick question how do I change someone else's username edit I WTF flow why would you want to do that they're the same picture the Invisible Man is having a good time don't take this the wrong way but you look very German I could not be taking the wrong wave if she was polish fresh one week old stale two to three weeks old very old I think this also works for corpses yeah I'm gonna test your theory BRB edit yep bored the corpse I picked up from the bottom of the river tasted really good I hope she believes this it took four hours the skin and complete the microwave me stopping the timer on 0.1 seconds my family at 1:00 a.m. why are there so many people in your microwave oh you know it's a screen powered proof that 5g is going to make us all sick my girlfriend was pregnant into 5g radiation turned my baby's skin black we're both white it's the towers man my uncle chopped part of his finger off with one of these they're to take a skin graft from his ass and put it on his finger now his finger grows hair and he likes to come up behind people and tickle them with it now joking it's traumatizing her body is Staker than most of the stuff people use them before please watch your language my son comes on here wait a minute you can summon any animal or person in the world then they come out of your anus bees definitely bees like imaginary getting mugged and you just pull down your pants and start crapping bees with them imagine for getting mugged you just pull down your pants and start crapping both are equally effective I just realize that never is a contraction of not ever and blush is a contraction of blood rush also studying is a contraction of student dying you're goddamn right manslaughter man's laughter miss Frizzle took the kids to Chicago damn and I told you not to yell be endured when we drove down Grove Street would you rather listen to car DB or crap broken glass until you died i crap broken glass for pleasure s mhm at least the Oscars will only be 30 minutes long next year or four hours long with a net spent f.e.a.r has two meetings forget everything and run or face everything in rise the choice is yours Frick every available rectum a California couple use the lawnmower and GPS to create a giant grass mural of Kobe he would need a helicopter to see it if you laugh at other people's conditions you will be like them in the future Bill Gates Wow Bill Gates is a billionaire love my house Kobe Bryant Lowell this albino squirrel comes to our door and rubs its nipples and just stares at us my neighbor does the same thing come on we're going home oh god I wish I was her dog geminus sobs after sexist Barbara refuses to cut her hair because she's a woman I went to my wife's gynecologist to have them check my vagina he was like you don't have one I was like can just stick your finger in my butthole I was asked to leave I'm literally shaking right now you could cosplay as winning the poo with just a red shirt in confidence I tried it last Halloween didn't go too well a bunch of guys dressed as cops beat the [ __ ] out of me needs more confidence then professor Oh is your mom still single ash yes don't wouldn't catch every Pokemon out there Professor Oak is gonna poke finding out your teacher is a weeb she says rrragh being a kindergarten teachers the best quarantine has given me a newfound respect for old sailors who were stuck on ships for so long they invented half women half fish to be horny about they definitely screwed fish first and then came up with a story later the fish nature's flashlights sometimes you just need to go for a ride to clear your head mind blowing are you a bullet because I can't get you out of my head I can't believe some [ __ ] just dropped it why do animated characters wear gloves well I mean they can't leave fingerprints at the murders they commence can't believe they really painted over this smsh stay-at-home kobe should have listened to them at PETA if you respond I'm buying 100 cows and I'm gonna boil them alive thanks for your support complete your donation now unfortunate kiwi bird imagine they trip and fell and the eggs get cracked inside their bodies than the runny egg yolk close out sir it cost you nothing to not say that Kid Rock surprises fan with Down syndrome for his 30th birthday Down syndrome is a terrible you have to give someone for their birthday no drugs or nuclear weapons allowed inside the restrooms kind of want to know what incident led up to them making the sign a fat man and a little boy walked into a bar that's now where I thought this was going GF is sleeping and her breasts are exposed young me would have lost his mind but old me is going to stand over her while eating a baguette so I can pretend I'm a corona MIT autopsy in a terrible cop show the 15 steps in the stomach make it even more realistic due to less pollution we can now see our data stored in the cloud imagine 10 girls looking up in the sky to see airplanes witness said see my harem BDSM then censor 10 Thai oh my god dogs are presented by marshmallows wrong by far the black dogs taste the best unlike the marshmallow no cursed entity oh now that's just Timmy who sold his body for an Edward pass after an orgasm I like the kissing cuddle then fall asleep in each others arms what about you I usually delete my browser history and throw the tissues away what do you do after an orgasm unmutes Mike I'm back boys stormtrooper fun fact some snipers will intentionally look off target because they believe people can feel being watched false I've been watching you sleep for a week now and I'm becoming concerned with just how unaware you really are what are you doing step bro they're tired porn stars in the person they marry has a son son mom our washing machine is a very tight door why did you buy it mom you wouldn't get it thanks I hate this spider with hands he's coming to grab your peepee this is hand of blood a german youtuber always dresses accordingly to the games he plays this time he played World of Tanks oh he just as a tank people need to see this you might want to stay away from Wolfenstein NHS reveals the average UK penis size wife says I'm small secretary says I'm okay girlfriend thinks I'm average and the mother-in-law says a massive so Frick knows who to believe VIP cinema sudden leads start hearing clapping and it won't be a round of applause people in their 30s discussing tick tock hey I'm 54 and I love to Tex minty and well that brings us to the end of our slash cursed comments thank you all so much for watching if you enjoyed what you saw be sure that that subscribe button in the Bell see you know different mmm camp loads and until the next one I'll see you around you

Channel: undefined

Views: 1,465,713

Rating: 4.9501863 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/cursedcomments, r/cursedcomments emkay, cursedcomments, cursedcomments emkay, emkay cursedcomments, cursed images, cursedimages, cursedimages emkay, noahgettheboat, noahgettheboat emkay, r/noahgettheboat emkay, r/noah gettheboat

Id: YB7KYzFnpbY

Length: 13min 58sec (838 seconds)

Published: Fri May 15 2020