r/Cursedcomments | FETUS DELETUS

what do a pregnant teenager and her baby have in common they're both thinking oh crap mom's gonna kill me I've heard that one before it's like a five out of ten what's up guys and welcome back to ma my name is Damian and today we're looking through our slash cursed comments before that haven't told you guys about our discord discord GG /mk we got our own vanity URL can you believe it I can't but we got one but got plenty of people joining community every single day and I pop on those VC's pretty often myself if you want to join the link to join is in the description and in the comments now I've been looking forward to seeing you in our discord server and now back to your video good morning neighbor morning bro can you please satisfy your wife quietly please I'm sleeping I'm in the office bro tell the dog to stop help tell the dog to stop then simple solution 16 pound whole alligator 100k celebration I have no words she's eating a whole Gator muck bangers in 2020 smoked human meat YUM I love being a mukbang er more like a yuck banger am i right am i right boy that seven year old finds cat with same rare eye condition and cleft lip and it's like destiny exists that's a really cool eye condition I'm not even gonna line I mean I'm gonna shoot straight with you chief his dad screwed that cat yeah guys do you think the Queen of England is sucked Wiener before I love your Willy Prince Philip shout out to the Queen England given Mad top since 95 1895 if Batman's parents are dead then how is he born oh that's easy a bat screwed his mom's dead body it's not the origin story I remember but I'll take it you know technically we've all kicked a pregnant woman in the womb before way you kicked I had to bite my way into her what the hell did you just say even though you hurt me I still find ways to be with you nah see the cat scratching because he almost got eaten and the ball on his head is actually said the boy can't eat the cat get it get it it's a Karnes comment we're edgy and funny bird these comments are get really bored by I'm not gonna lie to you play the same joke every time it's an old joke give me a new one I want a new joke I want a new joke you know some turtles can breathe through their butts so they could sum up my wiener when I screw them Oh double profit there was a cold breeze that went by my pants am I getting hit on from beyond the grave the ghost has given you undead head I wish I was getting some undead head from a ghost big spooky ghost goes whoa I give dummy good tar-like ah bro I'm thirsty give me some carbonated milk you will die in five days ah sorry can't hear you over the increasingly louder sounds of bubbling milk inside my belly you will die in two days you know today I learned that the reason pineapple often stings your mouth is because it contains flesh-eating enzymes that digest your mouth really why do we eat this fruit is us eating pineapple just our way to establish dominance over the fruit kingdom I don't get it wait wait wait so if I put a pineapple in my butt it'll eat my booty yes it will I took a dump of my grandma's cat's litter box when I was like 13 and my whole family is wild and trying to figure out why the cat took such a huge dump then they took him to the vet and we found out that she has feline HIV so in a way I helped her that story was wild from start to finish whoa not funny didn't laugh hey what's a fun fact that is mildly disturbing tumors can grow teeth hair eyes and miniature versions of their organs I believe those are called children yeah they are little guy if you're happy and you know it clap your hands no don't clap don't clap you got a little guy in there play this song at my funeral my funeral gonna open my casket and find it empty then the Space Jam team will play if you will look up to see my lifeless corpse swinging around on the ceiling fan and that's class that is class I like that that's a way that's a way to keep the family thinking about you you know chameleons are fun because they'll grab anything you give to them unzips Lord forgive me for what I'm about to do adult star Jessica James is dead at the age of 43 rest in peace where did the bear her bro she was cremated oh come on now not furry semi furry furry dangerously furry dangerously cheesy that's a blur skill but that guy's still do the hell out of all of them and that's not what I want to think about this is my fourth flu shot this month I'd suckered that off just to get a taste in a recipe my compliments to the chef Wow what's a question you hate when people ask you know why their dead bodies in your basement come on just let me let me have my mic works okay but you know you might have been indirectly responsible with someone's death it might not even know it kanji so how fun wasn't that guy I stabbed I'd be the worst worst earrings Oh someone just padlocked my ear and ran away with the key oh it's very important that we doing am i right why does this look like a grunge Linus tech tips welcome to Austin please die slowly you know it's others saying live a long life where we torture to die a terrible lingering death what's the difference really you know what I don't know I don't know what the difference is I wish I could shrink someone and use them as a dildo and after I'm done I'll shove them up my butt and digest them that's kind of cruel yeah but no one would ever find out so that's okay I like your huh I like your style man just don't string me put in the front of his liquor store ah other weirdly positioned dildos still might give them a try I'm feeling a little shaky on a fraud I know I might give those a try my wife said there's no way in hell she'd ever allow me to do doggy style but I did it behind her back anyway hey as long as the dog enjoys it - what's the problem where does he want to be on top I like that one bit yo Tokyo Disney Resort you can eat Donald's booty at Tokyo Disneyland I'm booking a ticket I'm booking two tickets I'm going back for a second trip a second serving hey is it duck's butt watertight Oh now when I'm done with it you saw what they sell at Disneyland Tokyo right I'm booking multiple trips that that's not gonna be watertight when I'm done weird my fortune cookie says you farted during the meal and I totally did no way mine says you have a crush on your best friend and I do Jim what's your say we know where you hid the bodies Jim the fourth thing again burning the corpses ah dinner's ready hey well that's just that's just not even you know it's a cute couples thing but I don't like the implication thanks lemon honey badger for the quote fetus delete us thanks man appreciate you my friend nothing could be worse than the emoji moved me yeah you wanna bet on that you have bet on that bud you know it's one of the few examples where genocide would improve the world hmm guitarist oh yeah wonderful I must play song so I could figure a Meitner I do oh yeah firm on the outside and chewy on the inside the best in my opinion huh just like my wiener so you bit your wiener I'm gonna make sure it's cooked all the way through screw stepbrother hey this is Twitter not Google grandma take it from me you omit the Wii me maker song whenever you do the Macarena song speed depending on how fast you do it you're sitting in your home watching TV slowly like a man breathing his last you begin to hear doo doo doo doo doo doot doot for this court and do start to gain in speed melody is that the frickin meat channel song you turn your head to the apparent source of the noise and scream when you see me fully naked and fully aroused standing up at 5 feet from your window essentially doing the Macarena I like that maybe I like it a little bit there will always be a lie in believe in over and lover and end in friend and us in trust and an if in life yeah in fun in funeral but you don't see many people having fun do you you know I know there are daddy dumbs but our granddaddy Dom's the thing ok burn this whole post there's nothing wrong with granddaddy Dom's I'm one of those I have a bowl of hard candy keep it with me at all times I have a walking stick and on a bionic hip no want to miss it to me IRL for me IRL what is the one thing that became more clear as he got older why the Grizz wouldn't live alone with his dog that's cuz nobody can hear the dog screaming well he pound his green Harry Weiner inside that but the fact that I had to read that hurts me to this day you know my wiener used to be in the Guinness Book of World Records and it was until I got kicked out of the library hey put a carpet there easy yeah and then remove the grade so people who step on it unknowingly gets sent now Eve Eve that's it Adam this is literally the biggest penis on earth laughs and horse you don't wanna end up like that one Russians are though don't end up like Catherine the Great 2008 a young Joseph meets his idol Michael Phelps 2016 Joseph beats Michael Phelps in the Olympics never give up on your dreams damn Phelps should have taken him out when he had the chance sometimes when I see anime clothes I just you know it's where I envision now they just reversed lactate to vacuum-sealed their titties to the fabric thousands of times per second obviously I'm like that well like that sentence one bit Oh see the goosebumps are just a little leg scurrying under the skin it's gross that's hella gross come on now fella you and your child are driving late at night across a deserted road you come across a van full of money with the driver dead from an apparent heart attack what lesson do you teach your child if the mate still warm it's safe to eat I don't think that's the lesson you suppose to be teaching your kid be honest with you he's finally asleep let's put him in the crib huh next step strangle him with the other half and that's how avocados are born it's time to choose where your loyalties lie with the queer community or with your stomach okay let's settle it LGBT rights or chicken Tandy's so why not eat the LGBT community and have both interesting proposition but how about absolutely not can't wait till I get a dog and lose my vCard those are two separate events hey what's the word for horny but not in a sexual way like I'm horny for Halloween but I don't want to screw a pumpkin you feel do you mean excited I'm so horny because I start my job at the morgue on Monday ha ha you know I sure do mean horny he's single he Pringle he ready to mingle now what's wrong with people that's how mumbo-jumbo was born no I love that hey people are ready what do you think comes after death easy necrophiliacs random act of kindness softly kissed the postman's fingers when he puts them through your door to let him know that you're thankful for his gifts you do that puppy no that's only a matter of time before the weena comes through the slot and that brings us to the end of our slash cursed comments and if you liked the video leave a like down below and subscribe for more content from MK we post every day it's no big deal it's just every day and until next time hope you see [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 3,070,682

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts

Id: QjNhmV3tc1A

Length: 11min 58sec (718 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 29 2019