Episode 168 - Becoming Joe Rogan

what's up guys welcome to the tmg podcast this is actually today's episode today's free episode but if you want uh the bonus episode that went up today as well you can find that on our patreon that's patreon.com tinymeatgang and uh the the free episode will be ad free as well on there so uh and if not thanks and enjoy this one peace peace what's up dude what's up guys it's the beanie baby episode you're beanie babies today bro yep i just came fresh from the hill dude um did you actually yeah dude nothing better than backcountry dude [Laughter] oh my god dude go up there roll a spliffy how did you do did you go at the top of the mountain and get [ __ ] lit dude dude i went up there dude you wouldn't believe it i took a couple airplane bottles of fireball stuffed those things in my burton jacket yeah got to the top of the hill slammed him okay and then slammed a run that is sick double black you know brayson yeah dude he's my homie bryson stomp pad check this out custom because you know he's sponsored by um uh burton yeah he got him a custom stomp pad titanium thought it was weird i thought it was for him no because he had like a weird thing with them but then he had to switch because like he was [ __ ] the owner's daughter and like classic that's classic dude so stomp pad custom titanium steel we get to the top of the hill he's like bro you ever did a black diamond on shrooms i said nah bro opens the stomp pad a couple grams in there no crush that fungi absolutely we ate that we it we ate that fungus dude you did we ate that old cheese man so were you tripping like on the way down oh for sure dude like every tree had massive cans it was crazy [Laughter] now i see why so why why uh why sonny bono went into a tree he was probably had those shrooms he exactly did i almost went into one looking at those cans dude yeah dudes like the first time in my life i looked at a tree and didn't only want to smoke it i wanted also to [ __ ] it yeah yeah so sick dude you know you know brady no wait is that um oh is that boy um oh dude is that is that um slavey's cousin yes dude he's the one with the sick v dub the golf that he souped up got it so we took it out to the mountains right and we're we take the chair four i believe up the back side and we're up and we're just about to i'm putting on my bindings right and okay dude you wouldn't believe that this fool pulls out an eight ball of cocaine right powder on powder how exactly dude first time i've skied and skied no way bro yeah dude so the whole time i was going down like shivering but not from the cold no of course not no did you actually snowboard this morning no i didn't i just got the beanie on so i figured we both do we might as well play the part you know i was hoping you're gonna be like no but i did do coke this is pretty close dude yeah this makes me you know i just espresso really [ __ ] me up you know i'm glad i'm standing otherwise i'd be fidgeting like crazy in my seat right now yeah i appreciate your standing desk today yeah no problem does this feel like a weird like startup zoom call kind of i've it's reminded me of someone we've seen on a zoom call recently that we can't talk about but oh i know exactly what you're talking about oh dog i wish we could maybe in the future in the future we can never joke about that yeah guys what a character you have to listen to the podcast for at least like two more months so then we can tell you about that whole experience and you're gonna know you're gonna know yeah that was definitely um one of the we have two calls in our entire lives that were the most funny and that was a strong contender for number one michael number one the type of [ __ ] where you're like talking offline yeah and you gotta mute your mic and like turn off your camera because you're like laughing so hard yeah like everything everything that was being said we were just writing it oh it's so so good i can't even really describe it no we can't i mean one day in the future we could tell this story yeah uh i'll i will say this i had to keep making really bad jokes so i would have an excuse to smile yeah i think they were probably thinking this guy is [ __ ] weird man i would just say like something stupid to try to like ease it out because you had your camera off the whole time the whole time so you were like that's a [ __ ] life hack man why is that a requirement and everyone at the start was like oh so we're not going to see you today and i was like nope and they were like cool all right respect that i really wish i did that dude oh man i really cause then i was sitting there like a psycho with my with my [ __ ] corners of my mouth like plastered back like uh-huh uh-huh i know it's a long call too just assume things dude guys just know if we get a hamster [Laughter] you'll get to name it okay no more okay no more no more no more [Laughter] do you know what i was thinking about like what what if what if we got dick surgery like what if it you know they finally figured out how to do it and we like oh wait dick enlargement surgery yeah we gotta talk about dick surgery yeah it's like to make it prettier or just to fix it you know just yeah make it straighter make it perfectly straight too straight yeah you know if you have like arcs in their feet oh yeah flat [ __ ] i have a flat dick a real pancake dick yeah i got a pancake dick i have to it's super flattened out i have to wear the converse of like [ __ ] somebody put in a panini press i have i have to wear the the converse equivalent of a condom because it's just my there's no there's no arc in my penis yeah [Laughter] i was thinking what if we got just like crazy enlargement surgery and people actually got mad at us because it ruined the brand like people going on reddit being like yeah ever since they got their penises enlarged they're not really the same like the podcast is totally different like yeah yeah i agree dude i saw like i saw one of them in a vlog and they stood up and i i was able to just get a glimpse of their bulge in their sweatpants and it totally threw me off like i was not expecting that it just kind of like you know left a bad taste in my mouth and they just keep wearing gray sweatpants to the studio like like clearly like their wardrobe is driven by their new hangers and it's just it's really not the same like i wish when they're like missed when their wardrobe was more you know diverse and and yeah it wasn't so motivated by the hanger but now it's just i don't know man it's not yeah i wish i miss when they used to wear like really baggy cargo pants you know to like hide whatever they got going down and now they're only wearing gray sweatpants and their tick-tock presence has completely changed [Laughter] it's just like all dick talks like i don't think i've ever seen their face in a tick tock since they got enlarged and the whole thing is just like a close-up on the package and then just shaking it like this i don't know helicopter tick tocks i don't know why they took it one step further and like got like little cozies for their penis heads of their faces to like try to trick us into thinking that their penises is their head like we know it's your penis just swinging it around and it's weird man so you know it's not really down with tmg anymore they're just they're literally too big and they're also not funny anymore yeah and they're also not funny anymore they're literally too big dude they're they got so big headed nice anyway dude what uh what's up what's your address where are you at i'm in tahoe hold on i'm just gonna stretch out a little bit see i can do this because i'm standing i could even do like some exercises right now i could do whatever i want daddy had a big lift this morning that's why i was late on the uh on the breakfast well what day was it today chess maybe well you know man you know with my new you know my new program and you know wednesdays big full body because you know tomorrow's off friday you know with my coach saturday sunday gotta do a little split you know upper lower chill out on monday tuesday with my coach again rinse repeat homie i feel you man [Laughter] no that's great man it's good to stay in shape yeah i mean i literally i kind of out you just herniated disc oh yeah that hurt just popped something moved like it shouldn't have moved wow that was that joke gone wrong right there cody's like hold on i need to sit down now hold on oh you actually have a standing desk isn't it dope i yeah i have one of these at home too i got one but uh all the cords oh yeah long enough so if i did it everything would just [ __ ] fall off the desk but it's kind of sick i kind of like standing bro it's like makes me more energized a little bit i used to love that during stream and then for a minute all my youtube videos i try to do standing because yeah it just like makes you feel different i like it um that's why i got it yeah that's why i got it from my office because i wanted to try filming standing up because you could like get into it more i used to do that like a long time ago i used to film all my videos yeah it was like awkward back then though because you'd have to like point at yourself in the corner you're like uh yeah this is me in the corner of my room you know just standing up i know pewdiepie used to do that a lot a lot of people stand standing creators man they're two types of creators man standing and sitting i actually like to do all my videos in a wall set ah because i like i was saying before i was doing those exercises right then i take like no time off yeah every stand or every like waking moment is kind of an opportunity to meet it for me to better myself and shape my physique yeah definitely so oftentimes when we're doing the podcast i'll just be in a wall set or a plank even sometimes yeah what people don't realize is it looks like we're sitting but what's actually happening is um we're we're wall sitting we have the backs of chairs wrapped around our waist they're heavy too and they're heavy as [ __ ] and we're actually just in a permanent squat it's not even a wall sit it's just a squat that's why we get so tired like near the end of the bunk the bonus episode mm-hmm it's because we're literally trembling yeah we're like from how [ __ ] hard we're going you guys say squatting 680 we're squatting 680 minutes okay and then we turn off the podcast and just keep going yeah in our room in silence so yeah we stay in that position until the next week that's how i jerk off i jerk off with wrist weights on i jerk off with resistance bands yes i have every color and i have it on the opposite end of the wall under my leg yeah so it's gonna you're gonna be so tired in like 10 minutes oh yeah dude [ __ ] hell i had a did me a little uh sumo deadlift this morning been been uh been dead lifting a little bit dude you inspired me man i might get a rack too you should man it's a dude the rope i'm turning into joe rogan the rogue sml1 okay it's a 70-inch squat rack it's nice and small it's contained it's simple okay okay nice squat rack i i i went a little bougie okay and i i invested in a separate bench press so i'm gonna have two racks that's dope yeah so is rogue his company no does he just coincidentally no i really like that company i think it was just a coincidence and they were like we're gonna give you a free humongous gym i was like sure dude that jimmy has in la is [ __ ] up yeah it's sick you wish you could have that [ __ ] yeah dude oh yeah i went for a little mountain hike yesterday how was that put the i bought some new snow drip i don't know if you saw my story i saw on instagram absolutely oh yeah dude wet fly god yeah yeah it feels like i'm walking on water um and then i you so i threw those on there were squirting because the drip was so crazy exactly and they're they're gore-tex so it's all my squirt was just staying in yeah because no water getting in or out of those things feet pruning from the drip exactly because the shoes are so waterproof solomon gore-tex shoes if anyone wants to know if you want to pick yourself up a pair they're fantastic look great and i chucked the cleats on the bottom we went for a little hike nice yeah i love being out in the snow right now just this time of year like it feels like because i'm usually in montana and it just so just feels like this is right actual christmas yeah just like i don't know i missed the cold air and i missed the elevation did you miss the rain in l.a were you here no i was we left the night or the morning after that [ __ ] was [ __ ] up that was dope it was like one of the i was legitimately scared you were yeah i was like you know i was like a big steel rod i was like hit me hit me [ __ ] i went to the driving range [Laughter] i took i took i took the grip off the top of the the golf club i was just all steel i'm like get me direct [Laughter] i was i was kind of freaking out because i woke up in the middle of the night right and the thunder and the lightning was crazy yeah it must have been super close because it was like thunder and earl was like lightning and thunder right afterwards and i thought chile would have been freaking out but he was chill dude laying at the foot of the bed just relaxing i was freaking out yeah all ollie was was bugging um listen up fellas 2020 sucked sucked [ __ ] ass we didn't even get sucked off that much it's almost the new year which means new balls with our sponsor manscaped yeah best and men's below the waist grooming offering precision engineered tools for your family jewels and helping two million men all over the world get rid of hair on their balls that means your pubes ladies and gentlemen if you let yourself go in 2020 while in quarantine manscaped is here for you to reboot and stay clean and shaved in 2021 um yeah and that's just i mean 2020 we all know it was a tough one and uh you might as well might as well start 2021 off with a 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sure your boys are refreshed and ready for new beginnings in 2021. manscaped even threw in their shed travel bag to keep all your goodies stored comfortably yeah speaking of comfort the manscaped antique chaffing boxer briefs are also included are hands down the best underwear you'll ever wear a guy with hairy balls is like the year 2020. don't be that guy get 20 off with free shipping at manscape.com tmg your balls will thank you again get 20 off and free shipping at manscape.com tmg that's 20 off with free shipping at manscape.com tmg happy new year to your balls that's right you can you can only see the top half of me right now and i'm standing i don't have pants on and or i'm free balling right now just completely i just only have a shirt on and i have no hair on my balls thanks to manscaped and feels fantastic winnie the pooh style yeah we got a new heavy bag i mentioned that and yeah the guy when we got it he specifically asked hey he's like some guy from new york it was crazy it wasn't really it wasn't crazy it was just like to hear that type of character in california wigged me out he's like yeah thanks for calling boxing company he's like yeah yeah we got one bag left where you gonna put it i'm like uh we're gonna hang it out outside he's like ah he's it is you know if the rain hits it we're like no it's going to be covered he's like okay then you're good and coincidentally like a week later we have the craziest rain and so i'm like watching our security camera and the rain just keeps inching closer to the bag i'm like [ __ ] we gotta cover this thing so it's like 12 30 at night the rain is like coming down crazy the lightning's going off i feel like i'm in a photo studio just because of the way the lightning is like hitting just where our bag is at and we're like trying to cover it in [ __ ] because it's so damn thick we don't have anything to go around it yeah so i like get random towels and i'm like duct taping them around the bag and i'm like your neighbor's like he really loves that punching bag i know right um well because okay so our bag has like a cotton interior so i guess it was fine um but i was reading like most bags are sand so what happens is people leave them out in the rain and that [ __ ] will harden and then they'll go to use it and like [ __ ] their hands up really sand is like hard yeah because yeah like the water gets in and it whatever um so whatever i duct tape it i feel smart i go back the next day i'm like i'm like wiping the bag i'm like oh hell yeah i did a great job i like cut the tape and pull it off the top and the [ __ ] top it's not like soaked but there's definitely like a ton of moisture up there i'm like oh [ __ ] somehow the rain like crept in and just like sat on the very top of the bag so it's just like this there's a long way of saying like i tried to protect my bag and just ended up giving it like like a bowl of water on top and it was just sitting up there you ended up with a wet bag wet bag basically yeah hmm yeah yeah drippy bed that's fine now i think so i didn't break my hand yesterday so that's good that's good yeah that was the scariest part of the rain it hailed did you were you yeah it did yeah that [ __ ] was crazy everyone's like dude we get hail all the time out here in butt [ __ ] you guys are so california yeah so what talking about the weather yeah dude it's a big deal okay you know you know who's not you know who's not california anymore the boy snake balls take ball take ball where's he going i he didn't say i don't think he said i just said he posted the video he said i'm leaving california i gotta um i gotta hunker down and train to be uh the he said he wants to be the biggest prize fighter in the world and so he's gonna hunker down a focus because he gets too um distracted by the la lifestyle i believe sounded like a giant front for like i just don't want to pay taxes in california anymore i believe that's one reason i also believe take ball is fighting an active case so i have a feeling um there may be some conditions oh what like he has to leave california what if he took like some kind of plea deal and he's going to be like on some like weird house arrest [ __ ] is that a thing though they make you leave states no what i'm saying he was getting invested by like a federal he's the fbi right yeah i don't know man what if he's like all right i'll give you all the guns and i'll go on house arrest for some said period um but can i move and they're like uh okay yeah we could we could do that it'd be kind of funny if that was one of the conditions i don't really know you get you have you can go in house arrest but you gotta move out of california he's like what no dude but what about boa's steakhouse i'm sorry dude you shouldn't have broken the law then you gotta go to wyoming now privilege is taken away jake yeah but what what about malibu calabasas what about like the sushi spot in calabasas that i love no probably just taken away oh what about one oak dude little slap on the wrist what about delorean or whatever dolores whatever that club's called dalmatian have you been there i've never been there dollhouse what's the [ __ ] club that i'm thinking about it's also a street a road isn't it dolores delorean i'm happy i don't know this honestly i'm really happy i don't know it's and we're never gonna find out because clubs are never opening again i know r.i.p to nightlife forever dude you see those new strains of coronavirus now you see this i know indica yeah the mace windu oh yeah dude i was thinking the rosemary one yeah that sounds good garlic strain garlic uh what about like uh voluptuous vanilla yeah um uh sensual strawberry mm-hmm it's just so many yeah the coronavirus strains are named after a candle sense [Laughter] price yeah it's like it's like right as right as we think we're getting over it there coronavirus is like it's like it's like wait i'm over here now you thought i was here but oh obviously we're talking we're tweeting a lot about the boston dynamics robot because that [ __ ] was so funny yeah first of all the best one was the one at the end that was like it looked like a like a chicken hen or something let's pull it up right now we can watch it without music but it's it's um it looks like a hen like it's like um it's like a giant steamer with a balancing act you if you just pull up the frame bro where yeah like just go like 209 that one that one with the big old ass just like bouncing up and down like that damn i hate that [ __ ] dog one yeah that creeps me out so much why did they make it like that i mean you know man isn't it creepy it is that that thing that's like gyrating up and down that's kind of bad that thing's going to be sucking your dick while it's hauling you off to the amazon gulag bro that thing's got a giant ass holy huge ass oh yeah dude i wonder maybe yeah for killing or something you can't wait to be able to nail that thing i i i don't know i kind of hated that video it's cool obviously i don't think it's cool i mean it's it's why do you think it's cool scary yeah you know okay here was here was my uh here's my next black mirror episode okay okay uh so boston dynamics robots become consumer and uh uh government assets right and and they they're part of like a botnet where they can like share information and [ __ ] okay all right this is my 2040 black mirror coming of age movie okay inch uh starts with a young woman in her room she's home for the summer her friends want to go out they call her up they're like brittany we're all hitting we're all hitting dolores tonight are you coming she's like no why i tested positive for chlamydia and now our house robot won't let me leave my parents left me here with it and if i leave it's gonna wrap me out and then jason gets on the phone he's like dude my boy has an emp we'll shut it off we'll get you to the club she's like oh my god [ __ ] yeah her friends show up with the emp they kill the house robot they all get in their um driverless car and it drives them to delores okay and now they're lost when they get there now they're in line at delores seems like the night's gonna go well okay and she still has chlamydia still is chlamydia so she could be actively spreading it could be because that's how chlamydia has spread that's uh coronavirus has me thinking that that's how all everything's spread yeah you're someone you just get [ __ ] you know she got chlamydia and so she had active case of chlamydia and she's waiting in line at the club when he lie in the club and then um they like delores because it's more underground it's usually got a human touch but dolores they got a bouncer bot and they're okay oh [ __ ] and the bouncer boss starts going down the line he's scanning everybody he gets to brittany and he's like chlamydia active case chlamydia she's like what no i don't have clement everyone's like oh you came with a club with chlamydia she has chlamydia and then a [ __ ] automated cop car pulls up six boston dynamics robots come out they're like you have chlamydia and they haul our ass off to the chlamydia jail end story that's good man what's chlamydia jail like is that just are there eight other people with chlamydia and once yeah you're just like a drunk tank but everyone's just scratching and everyone's like damn everyone's just leaking yeah one guy's like it's not even fair dude i just have pink eye it's just conjunctivitis that's that's chlamydia of the eye that's chlamydia of the face actually is what they call that active chlamydia no i don't no i don't it's like what she is chlamydia the robot turns herpes he hasn't he's like what no everyone starts getting arrested for stds the std police are there no no sir you have an illegal case of scabies more more and more boston dynamics std police start showing up and just [ __ ] hauling [ __ ] young people off just just [ __ ] never mind never mind curable ones ones gonna make a bad joke but curable ones if you have a curable std we're not shaming you and if you have a non-curable scene we're not shaming you either i'm just saying i thought about a universe where you know maybe these robots just are giving a little too much information and they just start acting mean about it you know yeah yeah they start outing us in public that's i think that's really funny honestly the sgtd the std police that's human do you imagine going on dp std whatever stpd yeah yeah sexually transmitted people department yes doesn't mean could you imagine like a like one of these robots working at foot locker and it just like says some [ __ ] slick [ __ ] about you it's like the left foot doesn't fit because it's bigger than the right you're like hold on the [ __ ] is your problem robot what are you saying i'm saying i was just making an observation i've noticed that the left foot is slightly larger than the right foot and your left breast is slightly larger than your right breast hey hey hey hey don't look at me like that oh my god [ __ ] insensitive victoria's secret robot hi would you like help with a bra um yeah sure i've noticed one of your breasts is larger than the other hey [ __ ] [Laughter] we have lopsided bras on this side of the store hey what the [ __ ] is your problem bro the exact millimeter difference between your two breasts it's just way too loud it's just blaring that [ __ ] we can add more cushion for the droopy one for the trippy one for the droopy for the troopy one for the truffle the droopy one all the robots looking she has a droopy one she has a droopy one guys you've heard us talking about hymns and how they're helping guys look their best if you haven't yet it's time to see what they're all about all right problem 66 of men start to lose their hair by age once you've noticed thinning hair it can be too late is that hairline slowly moving to the backwards any bald spots yet best way to prevent hair more hair loss is to do something about it while you still 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results after 90 days hymns will give you a full refund and right now our listeners can get their first visit absolutely free go to for hymns hims.com tmg that's f o r h i m s dot com slash tmg prescription products require an online consultation with a health care provider who will determine if prescription is appropriate restrictions apply see website for full details and important safety information remember that for hints.com tmg nice that was good try to hit it i don't believe in breast shaming man i don't believe in any body shaming you know all breasts are equal man you know boobs are sick regardless yeah you know don't don't let these um don't let the don't let the booby by the victoria's secret make you feel any differently okay great [Laughter] these gray sweatpants are no good for you [Laughter] the bulge is non-existent in these pants let me take you to the little boys detected it's not detected huh subject has no penis are you sure you aren't a nine-year-old boy no visible bulge in these pants would you like to go to the little the little men's section this is my [ __ ] bulge alone anyways what else is new dude what you've been up to survivor you're watching survivor that's the whitest thing i've done in a minute is it and you like it i [ __ ] love it i'm like three or four seasons deep now wait wait you're starting from the start no no no i watched season 20 and then part of 28 and then i did gen x vs millennials and now i'm on season 40 where it's winners at war and oh my goodness like you could have totally made that up that sounded so they all sound fake season season i started on season 20 and then i went to gen x versus millennials dude and then and then went to season 40 and now i'm on season 63 and i heard it gets super good around 144 bro survivor is it's i mean i could go on forever there's so much funny [ __ ] that goes on in that show i mean it's a good show that's why it's been on for so long bro there's like uh i'm not gonna talk about it forever but there's three things specific have to call out well in a quick fourth one uh it's a perfect show if you got a foot fetish that's number one that's all i'm gonna say okay you got a foot fetish that's you a thousand percent so many shots of feet it's like foul okay uh number two the host jeff god damn it his commentary during challenges is so rude so funny god man i i forgot like because i watched a little bit when i was younger and then i forgot how much of an [ __ ] he can be yeah he's such a good sneak disser yeah tony trying his best really hasn't figured it out they're like what the [ __ ] what did i do i'm trying my best tony disappointing his mom again tony looking really good over that climbing wall not a lot of bulge in the pants though is just at the top hey jeff what the [ __ ] i'm actually thinking of the dude tony [Laughter] he like he won one this dude tony and and people got really mad at him because he would uh he would swear on his kids and his wife and [ __ ] and like they go to his cutaway and he's like i'm swearing on my kids and my wife i don't care it's just a game and then when they get to the end all these people are so mad at him that you told me you swore on your kid i'm like dude if i'm on a tv game show i'm 35 days in of just eating rice and i've lost like 40 pounds and i have tapeworms in my stomach i'm swearing on everything for a million dollars yeah yeah because it's kind of you got to be like well my like the real treat here would be bringing a million dollars home that's the real that's really the way that i'm showing that i care about my family and my kids not not swearing on them yeah it's the fact that maybe i'm gonna bring home some money for them by lying doing whatever i can you know and so so yeah whatever uh my biggest pet peeve with game shows is when people don't play the [ __ ] game yes and they get wrapped up in whatever stupid social [ __ ] and they are worried about loyalty and and relationships they make like a big brother it always happens people like fall in love and then they're like they have this ulterior motive it's [ __ ] you're on a game show this is your 15 minutes to [ __ ] shine and win money and take advantage of it play the [ __ ] game do you want a million or do you want a boyfriend stupid yeah exactly win a million buy a boyfriend yeah um that's why i'm laughing i'm like you want a friend for life or you want a million dollars you can find many friends for life yeah for a million dollars oh yeah we didn't we didn't you know get all the way but i think it's about the friendships we made along the way really is it is it about the tapeworms that you have now too [Laughter] you're gonna do all that suffering just for a friend yeah it's about the third degree sunburns that you have and the blisters all over your body and now potential skin cancer is it just about that dude there's a guy who went through chemo and he came back for the season 40 and he's sitting there that's [ __ ] crazy yeah he's sitting there talking with one of the you know the contestants and he's like dude i don't know if this is like completely [ __ ] my body there's no long-term data on the effects of doing of doing something like this after receiving the type of treatment i had he's like literally like i don't know if this is gonna maybe exaggerate the cancer that went away he said but i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna stay in it i was like god damn dude that's crazy i don't get that either they i mean they love that [ __ ] but you know it's just like what i yeah i guess it's like you get i don't know it's like if it's what you love and it makes you feel alive then well season 40 is dope because it's all winners and they brought them all back so it's all winners competing against each other and the prize is 2 million so it's like so there's like this sense of pride and the money and it's it's just like dude they all get super into it it's it's crazy it's crazy so and the other the other seasons the prize is a million bucks right yeah it's always been a million right mm-hmm mm-hmm and so all these people are worth at least 700 grand probably yeah and they're all coming back to double up yeah it's pretty wild it's pretty well that you can do survivor for two seasons and be a multi-millionaire yeah that's crazy we were watching the show and i said to elena bro you realize this is this is all millionaires competing yes none of them like they're all there they're like well you know i stayed home with my kids full-time and now i'm here and it's such a weird switch to go i'm like oh yeah it's such a weird switch to go from not doing [ __ ] yeah exactly yeah doing something yeah man i was just in florida just hanging and they hit me i'm not doing season 40. they hit me up i was like i was just playing call of duty [Laughter] that's the other [ __ ] that was like making me laugh was so you know they always do like the segment where their family comes out right yeah and for this one they were nice and they didn't make anyone compete because i think it's because they're all winners so they just let them see their family and it's so funny it's not funny but it is like what 30 days on an island does to these people yeah like they first of all everything makes them cry because like they haven't eaten and they haven't slept and it's just funny seeing their loved ones show up and it's like maybe two weeks into the show like oh my god we miss you and they're like you're the only thing keeping me going their wives and [ __ ] are like oh but all right yeah all right [ __ ] [ __ ] back off sam jesus christ back up yeah i i would die for you okay get off my nuts full six-year-old son's like dad what the [ __ ] man dude that's dude beta that's that's what the kids are like their parents are crying and the kids are like you're dead the ew yeah the [ __ ] [ __ ] dude i'm making a sand castle come here toby come here [Laughter] sweaty it's disgusting dad why do you smell i'm going to my other daddy huh [Laughter] mom's hanging but mom's been hanging with this guy from the gym he's really strong what oh it's just it's just a trainer it just broke he brought me and he bought me a ps5 it's sick i love him what is he talking about yeah um i thought it might give you some motivation if i told you when you get back i'm leaving and then it just like [ __ ] resets like all the tears and [ __ ] go away um yeah that that part is is crazy the how hard like the desperation sets in and my parents say naked and afraid it's better i mean i'll probably i'll probably binge that after this because that one's like actually intense survivor is still a little bit of like a show like um i don't know they got producers all over the place and naked afraid is like they just you have nothing yeah yeah go fend for yourself and there's one camera dude that's just filming you yeah i think yeah you can tell survivors produce but i think the best part about survivor is the [ __ ] lying it's so funny yeah and this one is like on steroids because because they all know how each other plays and like they just know too much it just makes everything so crazy at the tribal councils they don't even talk to jeff they're all just like whispering to each other to the point that they just stop interacting with jeff and jeff stops trying to interview them and they just have all these hilarious clips of them like doing [ __ ] musical chairs and and people watching going like oh okay he's talking to that person i'm pretty tiring that person huh yeah it's a crazy ass season man and and the best part is all the people get voted off they put them on this island they call it extinction island and it's the gulag okay and and it's actually what it is though is there's two times in the season where uh there's two chances where they all compete and someone gets to respawn so there was one like what do they compete what do they do they have to do crazy ass challenges on that island it's like it's mentally i think that would destroy some people like what they get so um they have like they introduced like this monetization system in the in the show where there's like fire tokens and they have to like go get these tokens and do crazy ass challenges on this island to find these tokens like it'll just be a little token wrapped in a bag and they're like it'll get some goofy clue it's like all right go find it and so like they're eating like a [ __ ] scoop of rice that's literally like this big like circle you can make with your [ __ ] finger and thumb if you're just listening to audio and they have to do physically intense [ __ ] for hours at a time this other [ __ ] where they have to like go to the top of the island and bring down 20 logs and to complete it you can only carry one at a time what the [ __ ] because they can use the tokens to buy [ __ ] the thing that they're all gunning for is in the two challenge like the two chances they have to [ __ ] go back into the game you can buy an advantage with the tokens that you get okay so they're all like hustling to sounds like a video game honestly no it is like they did a [ __ ] like a crazy job of uh yeah whatever and so it gets to a point where the tribal councils are starting to be observed by everyone from extinct extinction island and it's like there's this [ __ ] juxtaposition where you have people on one side who are not eating working their [ __ ] balls off to get back into the game and they're just seething like they're just analyzing everything going on in front of them and like you could tell they're like if i get back in the game i'm getting that [ __ ] out like damn it sounds a little bit like uh casamore it is or casamore or whatever it was called are we good is there another season of love island coming or not i hope so dude we need that let's let's see i got it maybe i should check out survivor my parents are still obsessed with that show it's a great show man that's our like i always wonder who [ __ ] watches it like nobody our age watches it besides you um or maybe they do and everyone just keeps it a secret just damn bro great at calling me out well i've i've never heard anyone literally no one watches that show that's our age except who do you know that has talked about it to you um steve from hr yeah literally no one that's what i mean like no one other shows you hear you know you hear little you know murmurs about it people are talking chatting you know you see the discourse on twitter and stuff like that but spock actually was the one to be like yo i started watching survivor and i was like dude you just saw that [ __ ] he's like you need to watch it and when i realized that they had gone still like they haven't stopped making seasons i'm like holy [ __ ] i have to watch this now yeah it's pretty incredible that i've i've seen like six seven seasons of that show and i haven't even scratched the surface like that normally is an entire series it's game of thrones yeah but that is what 10 of the total episodes now bro it's crazy too to see like because we watched the super early season i think it was like season six or something and watching the evolution of the show to now is wild like before it was it was like what you were talking about which was it was super goofy like people had like honor and respect you know like when they introduced the concept of like hidden immunity idols they would put the also the brand deals were so funny in the beginning they would like they would like do competitions for sears products to bring back to their camp so it's like they'd be in the middle of a [ __ ] island and there's like a sears day bed and you're like okay they're like they had this one really they'll be competing in a tough obstacle course in order to win a dicing [Laughter] a black and decker leaf blower we're on a beach man just to remind you of home they win a lawn mower john deere tractor lawn mower i was at kelsey's parents place for christmas and i wake up super chilly wakes me up at 5 45 to go out hell yeah i'm taking him for a walk at 5 45 a.m and the neighbor is out with a leaf blower i'm like did you just how can you more embody uh a dad you know 5 45 a.m and you're out with a leaf blower for what reason on christmas eve like sleep in that's just when you get so old that christmas is isn't even a day anymore your life is just chores you just don't [ __ ] care yeah it's just house maintenance house maintenance yeah exactly yeah dude uh there's also like this one where they they uh it's like sponsored by sprint and they're like oh we got tree mail and it's like a big ass sprint logo at the top and they're like this challenge compete to call your loved ones on this brand new sprint da da da phone you're like wow okay and what is it now now you don't see it beats pills everywhere no actually there's like no beats headphones yeah yeah yeah yeah the one piece of technology in the show is everyone gets a set of beats headphones all right everybody unwrap your fitbits what ah they're all tracking calories as they lose tens of pounds yeah now the show is like self-sufficient now they don't have to pay they don't do any of that [ __ ] yeah um it's it's funny too like when they introduced the hidden immunity idol concept they would get these notes and people would read them and go oh i got an i i got a no like it's like very sort of i want to be fair i don't want to you know i don't want people to feel like i'm cheating them you know i found a hidden immunity idle note and then you fast forward 10 seasons people like i got the idol i'm gonna tell people someone else has it you know like it's just like the shittiness evolution is i don't know so you're saying the pettiness increases oh my god dude because people watch the show so they know how it's played so then when they get on the show they're just like no holds barred like i'm gonna lie and i'm gonna [ __ ] be shameless about it dude and beyond good dude and beyond that um they like the people that are serious about it like they they know the rules in in ways where you know i i think like it would escape anyone like 20 days into a reality game show like that um i guess one rule is when an uh idol is played it goes back out into the game the next day immediately yeah and only some people realize that so they're like already on it they're like all right that person played it i have to go look for this thing and they like start at like six in the morning like i know it's here somewhere it's like you sold me dude dude trust trust you sold me we should do a show where we put a bunch of tick tock influencers and just travel vloggers in a house in a sick [ __ ] house okay sickest house somewhere in like the alps or uh somewhere like insane right like crazy view sickest house you've ever seen and the last one to post anything about it wins uh you know what i'm saying i mean like the whole time they're all just fighting the urge to like show off no when they sign it they can't tweet like they're going away on a show exactly they just have to disappear yeah that's pretty sick man damn i probably should edit that one out honestly we could make that let's make it [ __ ] it we can make that i mean it'll be a really it'd be a really funny um it'd be a really funny sketch like some girl [ __ ] doing the talk doing the talking head oh you want to do it for real to do it for real do it for real oh but we filmed the whole thing right yeah we produced this [ __ ] it'd be so funny to watch some like travel influencer just being like i want to post so so [ __ ] bad all i think about is posting and there's so many views here like i can't even describe it i'm not allowed to legally but it's [ __ ] insane there's an infinity pool in front of the [ __ ] ocean on a mountain when you get tired when they go they have to put their phones like in like some secure location like there's like a like a 24-hour pa like sitting in front of the phones and like they can only tell their friends and family that they're gone and then like that's [ __ ] it and it's rehab for posting basically yeah and they just have to sit and go oh my god i want to post i want to post on a post they drop a hot post they have every kind of form of entertainment they have uh basketball whatever yeah oh dude and then you can do challenges to earn um kinds of posts you can do like if you win a challenge that's good you can tweet i'm having a good day today like they tell you exactly what you can tweet yeah yeah or like or like uh yeah um brittany has won today's mindbender challenge she's earned a picture of herself reading a book in front of the pool oh the cover of the book in front of it with the feet whatever she can take a picture of her knees [Laughter] oh man that'd be sick that's funny man that'd be so good yeah we should um i mean realistically could we make this i don't know [Laughter] jared has won today's challenge he's earned the ability to promote one ventura watch [Laughter] god damn god damn that's funny man well um i mean it was your idea bro we have to i feel like we could make this you know i'm down maybe we do like the simplified version of it where we get a bunch of people and it's like um it's like a short period we can hit some people up and convince them it's a six hour shoot okay all right fir and like we're gonna do one challenge every hour okay and and first one to cave on posting uh well like the grand prize has to be something big oh wait no no hold on okay yeah we tell them we we bring we rent some insane house some crazy flex flexible house you know okay so i'm talking like miami something like that and we okay we put we tell them there's a 100 000 prize or even bigger maybe i don't know quarter million dollar prize but they don't know what the competition is and we bring them all there and if one of them doesn't post about it they win all the money they would all instantly post about it though i know and then we say you lose yeah then we don't have to pay anybody yeah and then but then then they are all on the flight back like [ __ ] man we were so close dude how about this they could go like this you put them all in the house and for every hour they don't post something it's like a it's like a hundred bucks 150 bucks so it's like it's like a there's like a tangible amount like every day oh oh and it just slowly comes off yeah yeah it's kind of like the the netflix one that we were making fun of the ones not not the circle the other one with francesca and the they couldn't do anything sexual otherwise they'd lose money oh yeah yeah but you know the island or what was that called yeah whatever who cares yeah the the fake love island too hot to handle that's what it was no yeah but this one is just uh if you if you have like a [ __ ] monetary amount on posting yeah you're like ah damn oh and so they know that then they come and they know every time they post they lose money or they could be no no it's like no no it's as soon as you post you leave with a certain amount of money so it's like it could be like if you don't post for one day you get this much if you don't post for two days you get this much three yeah yeah i see i see so if they're like damn if i just move or it could be a big total and they know that every time they post depending on how flexy and douchey the picture is they lose a certain amount of money so there's like some ai robot or whatever in the house that's like like a fake one right that when they post they like analyze their picture they take money off so it's like what is the post what is the flexing worth to you damn some guy somebody's like dude i gotta keep up my brand man this is my brand i go to places like this so this is part of my business so i decided to post today i lost a thousand bucks and there you have it guys you've just witnessed the full-on brainstorm thank you for joining us for this brainstorm i'm actually pretty keen on this i'm pretty kidding bro i think it would work better as a sketch because you could really i mean you could you could do so much with the talking head interviews yeah people just like the reasons why they want to post so bad and show off and yeah i just got this brand new dior bag and it would look so dope against this background and yeah but also would be really funny if a kid like noah beck came into it and like on day one he's like yeah i just like posted like five things because like i got a brand deal so like it pays for like the whole thing so like i didn't [ __ ] care but the house is sick and like i want to chill so like i'm gonna stay the whole time i think it would be even funnier if a dude like that was was like just super genuine just like i don't yeah man i just figured i'm here i just put my phone away and i've just been trying to enjoy it it's there for like five months hasn't posted a single thing we're like [ __ ] god damn this guy's too too good of a dude seven million it's great to be here man full advantage of this beautiful location it's just gonna soak it up honestly take my phone i wanted to unplug a little bit i hate this life anyways it's fake [Laughter] honestly it's like a forced vacation and i need that dude i'm like being real yeah we should um we should explore this floor's idea i like it we will i want to end the episode by reading this dm that i got you're going to love this you might have got to see yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh i sent it to the talking point so you saw it but this is from i don't know who cares it's funny okay you have to assume things are real he sent it to both of us um like he sent us in a he said it to us in a group i'm like damn when people send when people send a [ __ ] and they group message us yeah make a point to put both of us in the tmg account i'm like dave this is some serious [ __ ] to them they want us to see they want us to know so he damned us separately and he damned us in a group yeah wow alex appreciate that so this is pretty elaborate to make up but maybe i'm gonna read it i'm gonna read it i just got threatened to be kicked off a plane by an allegiant airlines employee because i was listening to the podcast and accidentally fell asleep with my airpods in see what happened was my airpods died and the podcast was playing full blast for every [ __ ] on the plane to hear i wake up to a 12 year old kid dying laughing a mad mom cussing me out for playing something not appropriate a dad getting out of his seat to kick my ass and two flight attendants tapping my shoulder and telling me to turn off my volume my first thought was they should be thankful they got a free bonus episode i get off the plane airport security asked me a few questions on why the guy was trying to fight me after a few minutes of talking to them and explaining to them the situation they understood completely the best part of the whole situation was when they asked me what the name of the podcast was the one guy said good lord i hope they weren't moaning it's kind of funny yeah i don't know if there's like a creative writing project or um what but well i mean listen everyone on that plane did get a free bonus episode they did get a free bonus episode very rare everyone should be [ __ ] angry at you alex for being so careless that you would let a free bonus episode out like you're literally stealing from your [ __ ] peers so first of all why don't you go ahead and say sorry to the entire podcast audience right exactly patreon community go ahead go ahead go ahead alex we're waiting pov or you're apologizing to an entire podcast audience go ahead okay and then are you are you sorry for what you did and you're never gonna do it again okay word okay cool i accept i accept you know speaking of beefs i think we all accept we accept i accept too i accept alex and i appreciate you playing the podcast on the plane yeah and uh and sharing honestly you know sharing and expanding the community you know grassroots promotion that's all he was going after exactly also i believe the story because he's flying allegiant no one flies allegiance i was about to say who the [ __ ] where were you going yeah some random place yeah where does the legion fly um i think only to like um ohio to like indiana there you go exclusively allegiance serves not indiana to ohio nonstop i was going to say speaking of beef we haven't heard from sophia yet we called her out and she has not yet acknowledged us at all which makes me even madder you know it's like you don't have to acknowledge us but at least acknowledge the the placing i want to know were you number seven or not sophia we know what's up you know we're playing this game but we know what's up we know who the real who the real number sevens are the real number seven we know we've been sevens our whole life [Music] that's why we're number seven all right we've been slightly above average our whole life you think you're gonna take that away from us yeah exactly [ __ ] out of here yeah [ __ ] out here yeah we um um we we know number seven is us uh if it's time for the bond zone we got some yeah we got some i want to do this because we're gonna dive into the daddy 05 mixtape yeah we got some fun stuff lined up for the bonus we're looking into the dad from daddy 05 makes music he raps and i haven't so we're gonna listen to that i have to shout out the boy most critical charlie um he was one that found it i hopped on the official podcast uh two days ago again and um he came up in conversation and someone uh what they do is really cool they they do a live show but they do a live recording in their discord and it's like i think it's connected to a patreon or something so i was thinking we should [ __ ] do that because we have all these people and i think we say that one more time he does a what they do like a live recording of the podcast in a discord so people can just join and chat while it's going on um i thought that was really dope and oh that's cool we should do that on patreon yeah i'm just gonna you know but i don't wanna take credit for that [ __ ] um that's dope yeah well we have a new producer starting next week so this stuff is going to happen for us yeah which i'm getting stoked about very hype um but yeah so many of his shout out to whoever in this chat pointed that [ __ ] out thank you [ __ ] yeah i'm stoked all right guys right we'll see you in the bonus love you thank you for listening this week and uh we'll see you next week happy new year as well what new year didn't say [ __ ] about new year at doesn't all matter it doesn't even matter this year dude this year it matters todd hugely a happy new year it's like let's just get on with it that's what i'm saying like it's it's a start of a brand new thing maybe i kind of feel like i said some [ __ ] last year about this being a good year and it [ __ ] went to [ __ ] so i think honestly this this year doesn't count like we're just starting from new year's eve last year mentally i think yeah yeah that's fine yeah i think i think i think marcus was saying we should just all re-celebrate our 30th birthdays i mean i don't think we actually had them you know i'm not 30 yet ah that's eight years out for me honestly so oh you're 38 no no no like i'm eight years away sorry i'm 22. got you got you guys i'm 22. yeah yeah no i'm 29 so i still like to keep my but like my body is 22. okay that's why i take opportunities like these to stretch out a little bit you know i'm i'm legally physically mentally 22. i'm i'm legally 22. legally 22. all right man we'll talk about new year's resolutions and the bonus yeah okay everyone happy new year by the way also we have a uh like a highlight clip coming out probably that came out this morning i think this is going to come out tomorrow night so it's we're posting it tomorrow morning i think and so that's a bonus of hour-long of like funny bits from the year uh so go watch that there's some extra content and uh we'll see you guys next week happy new year hope it's fantastic we'll see you very soon cheers

Channel: Tiny Meat Gang

Views: 236,008

Rating: 4.9597607 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: yDFZMUno_lY

Length: 67min 21sec (4041 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 31 2020