Episode 199 - Scarlett Johansson Rules the World

those delta variants getting pretty serious sorry that's the wrong one i meant to hit this one oh yeah oh nice real mature dude yeah exactly [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] i'm not even pressing anything anymore you spammed it look at this you're gonna rue the day that you gave us this [ __ ] sound board yeah yeah and by that i mean the people who listen to this podcaster yeah you know it took us four years to get one we're gonna make you regret [Laughter] supporting us this who's doing that now okay okay [Music] what's up guys this is the tmg podcast this is today's free episode if you want this episode ad free and an extra bonus episode you can find that right now on our [Music] patreon.com [Music] [Music] has announced that a flying disc has been found and is now in the possession of the army [Music] [Music] please look at all the signs flashing your seatbelt and get ready for debate we said that at the uh like day number one of this podcast when we were first doing that it'd be cool to have a soundboard and it took us like four and a half years and now finally we have one [Applause] nice people pay for this [ __ ] yeah [Laughter] oh yeah this has to stop so it has to stop i can stop it at any moment stop it so that no one can do sounds stop it now save us from ourselves dude but also as a note everyone has one so kyle has one i have one zack out oh god oh lord and this can go off does cash have one crazy no cash doesn't cash just should have one yeah you should have one you could just do it vocally though you could just [Laughter] yeah perfect i need that one i need that one so i could hype myself up forever for her freestyling on this podcast perfect oh sorry nothing he's heating up nothing that wasn't a cough what'd you just do nothing oh but you farted we're back we're back in the show being feels good um we're back in the ship we're recording a little bit early today normally we'd be recording tomorrow but some [ __ ] is you know we're getting some maintenance done on the ship yeah um summer broadcast going out because we're gonna be live this goes out like on thursday after the show oh right okay so the show has been happening the show has already happened we hope you enjoyed it yeah we worked really hard on it hope you had a good time yeah i won't speak too much on anything because i don't know some of what we're gonna yeah yeah yeah we just hope you enjoyed it that's that's all it was meant to be um but i was gonna say it is monday uh we want to watch dana's most recent [ __ ] friday yeah just to start off the week yeah or no i guess this would be to end their week let's not talk about the meta everyone it's thursday night or friday morning let's just kick things off with the [ __ ] friday we've been on a roll with that so let's do it let it rip sticks flour i love that he teaches you how to make it yeah crush them eating those eggs crushed walnuts white sesame seed black sesame seed sounds like bird you're food take them put them in the fryer for four minutes at 200 degrees celsius all right that's looking good and then you eat them right out of the fryer some dried fig and some green [ __ ] did he say some green [ __ ] green [ __ ] okay oh crazy [Music] easy to make and i like it thumbs up for this there it is the grease edition i got in trouble for not nailing the kingpin reference i guess kingpin is where it was kingpin from spiderman yeah i say it's from batman saw that yeah people were freaking the [ __ ] marvel definitely ruin people saturdays with that uh marvel community yeah i don't even know if it's marvel seeing already getting it messed up they're already saying like i got like straight up death threats did you actually yeah like you better correct that on the next episode we're gonna kill your entire family and your family we're gonna call kingpin to kill your entire family down your house yeah so actually my entire family is at the basement of this boat right now because you know maritime laws right you can't do [ __ ] about it right that's true you know what's up it's [ __ ] friday i'm out here in international waters he's like i didn't tell you this i don't like walnuts he just grabs her by the neck and throws her over the side exactly she just says oh no [Laughter] i didn't tell you this but i don't like walnuts luckily i'm too [ __ ] up to even taste anything right now [Laughter] we're in international waters i just did five shots of howler head and two lines of ketamine and we're gonna kill valentina folks you've been asking for a long time i'm gonna kill a woman for [ __ ] friday christ jesus [ __ ] christ dude you guys have been asking for a long time i'm going straight to hell dude i'm gonna kill someone's daughter for [ __ ] friday maritime laws oh man we're gonna kill one underperforming staff today you guys been asking for a long time we're gonna drown someone from the staff today we're [ __ ] friday we're to make an example out of one of our staff we're going to pour hot oil on his neck we're going to deep fry stephen the intern what what what we're gonna deep fry steven and eat them jesus looks like a firecracker went off on his face not a fan actually [Laughter] steven tastes like dog food not a fan oh my god so so in honor of that that's demented dana white no dude devilish dana white [Laughter] we caught steven stealing out of the freezer so we're gonna embellish this gluttony a little bit and feed him deviled eggs until he [ __ ] explodes beat up steven i don't want any say it say it say it it's [ __ ] friday it's [ __ ] wrong it sure is stephen a bore on the floor born on the board there are no rules get on the floor well that's a succession reference that is an elitist thing if you have hbo max by the way season three is coming out i cannot wait oh you know what i started watching hold on before we get into that we have our own [ __ ] friday that we want to do yeah we don't know what we're going to have yeah is surprising us with something yeah it's monday today so it's but it's that's what i'm saying it's thursday night probably midnight it is probably people so it is [ __ ] fun it is [ __ ] friday [ __ ] it's friday yeah yeah well in space too it's weird like in 10 minutes it will be friday yeah so yeah it's just a strange thing up here oh so we're gonna eat something right now candace can we get that um can we get that [ __ ] friday in beaming now oh yeah there we go damn what do we got what do we got here candace let us know so i'll let y'all know um they are two dessert items one is a sushi crepe or crepe and one is called a bash burger it has a burger covered in chocolate with fruit inside oh that actually looks [ __ ] up well i hate that my my iso reflux is gonna fire up if i even you have to have a little piece of it yeah a little something just a small with this well yeah i'll i'll trade you let me let me eat one of these first was that is that actually a fish in it no no no it's just so caramelized fish it's toro with caramel sauce that's bluefin tuna with white vanilla sprinkled on top so this is a dessert crepe you said yes and it has a cookie butter as the drizzle oh wow you gotta reach that's [ __ ] up actually like in a good way i'm a fan i didn't tell you this luke but i don't like dessert well then hit him with the hot oil well then this series is gonna suck for you this looks disgusting who would ever order this what is this supposed to be like a brunch item yeah i don't know this is so stupid i think it is a dessert item who would get this for dessert yeah you wouldn't want that after anything like this i don't want that it looks better in the photos what is that a pancake what is that it's actually pretty good all right let me get a piece of this thing you know what that's a lot better than i thought it would be i was trying to cut a piece but [ __ ] it it's friday yeah eat that right in the mic um right in there [ __ ] is this we're [ __ ] up your friday with these mouth noises that's good right the cereal in there is good what is covering this it is uh kinder bueno white chocolate and cookie butter do you like it yeah yeah i do all right yeah all right we did it yeah yeah everyone's gonna be listening like wow noel likes something wow exactly holy [ __ ] they really did it oh my god candice you did it it must be that good he's not complaining oh my god we're still going to kill luke though yeah no burning with hot oil it's [ __ ] friday we're going to kill our producer [Laughter] what's up guys i'm here in greece with garyvee hey guys we're gonna take a quick break to thank the sponsor of today's episode bud light seltzer bud light seltzer launches limited edition retro summer tie dye variety pack news flash after a year of being distant apart and feeling gray summer 2021 is the chance to make up lost time except of course for the delta variant this summer bring good vibes wherever you go with the bud light seltzer's new tie-dye pack east variety pack features three iconic summer flavors cherry limeade blue raspberry let's go summer ice these flavors take inspiration from nostalgic summer favorites and surprise these three delicious flavors will also come in a frozen form as an ice pop as a damn ice pop is there anything more refreshing in the summer than a ice pop yeah now imagine getting buzzed off an ice pop when you're baking in the sun yes when you're making cakes in the sun yeah and then you reach into the cooler yeah you get a nice cold yeah exactly yep love it so earth why am i getting drunk off this wait a minute i'm feeling better and better and better by the second wow i'm wasted is this one grapefruit flavor no dude that's summer ice it's summer ice right sorry um there it's the perfect it's the perfect drink slash treat for the summer it really is where can you get them dude tell people both are available for only a limited time this summer so hurry you can get them delivered right to your door by going to bud light.com delivery or pick it over your local neighborhood grocery convenience or liquor store okay that's what i want to talk to you about yeah this is where i was this is what i was uh i brought this up before we started recording but uh you know one of my favorite podcasts of all time is how i built this yeah and um i know i know i'm saving it for right now i know i know i'm saving it [Laughter] that was so quick i felt like i was doing a channel five interview right there hey man you got a little i know i know i'm saving good oh did you watch his newest one on on cue the q conference it's rough it is so good first of all but like sad you know can't wait it's like the first interview is this lady i'll jump back to what i was saying before but after this the first interview that he does is like this you know like probably like late 40s uh no i'm saving it i'm saving that burp do you want us to fly those out no leave them there [Laughter] it's like lady [Laughter] we're not going to make it dude [Laughter] oh my god ladies are you good i don't know honestly so is this lady yeah and she's like mid she's mid she's mid it's this lady she's gonna admit honestly she was like she's like mid-50s probably something like that right so she's older what she's like 50 years old but she's mid yeah she's super mid yeah mid-50s yeah and oops nothing nothing nothing nothing she uh what was i even gonna say [Laughter] i don't think he's good i don't think i'm good those burps was like the gas that escapes your body as you're dying yeah this lady in her midfield [Laughter] um he's masking up wow cash put his mask on no the cough isn't from cove but it's from vaping now oh man it's cold it's [ __ ] me up yeah so i was rolling up okay it's not even worth it anymore basically it's like the first interview that he does is this older lady who's like very clearly like midwest you know family like has kids and husband or had them at one point and then like got sucked down this cue rabbit hole on facebook started watching all these videos and now like fully believes in cue okay and on cue and on yeah and uh you could tell it's like really sad she's like just talking about how like how she's like worried for her family and how they like don't talk anymore and like this lady essentially got brainwashed and now she like lost her family because they're a lot like mom's insane it's [ __ ] up wow yeah it's pretty crazy um anyways yeah big girl honestly she's that's why she's super mid l um okay how i built this my favorite podcast yeah so on the weekend they tweeted and they said who like this is a quote from the newest episode who'd think it is and the quote was like when i started talking about business stuff all of a sudden everyone all the comments said you're you're the wine guy you're not a business guy you can't talk about business stuff that was the quote and all the replies were gary vee gary vega you know i was like all right i'm stuck for this one yeah cause you know we you know we we take little shots at garyvee yeah on our podcast we've been known to do that yeah right the uh you know he he embellishes a lot he's a pretty exaggerated guy yeah we poke fun at him sometimes right so i was excited to listen to this because i actually want to know a story i don't know i don't really know anything about him besides his like obnoxious internet personality same it's actually a really interesting story okay and i like him more now they listen to this wow um he was like the son of two immigrants from they're from like russia or something like that i forget where and uh he basically he like started this youtube channel was the first youtube show reviewing wine okay he basically like like taught himself how to review wine and how to drink wine and taste wine so like taught his palate all these different flavors would like go home and buy a whole bunch of spices like whatever people said the wine had like hints of he would go buy that stuff and train his palate on how to detect it and then he he started the first ever youtube show about wine and that's what he did for the first like five years is he sold wine and he reviewed wine and he so he's kind of like a um he's a wino he's a what he's a wino he's a wino yeah or no he's a what does he call it at a restaurant a savant that's somali yes like oh they call him uh oh the annoying [ __ ] person yeah he's trying to sell you liquor and you're like no get out of here yeah just want water yeah that guy sorry he anyway anyways he um i i linked one of his like his like his show was called wine i forget what it's called wine and something and he like he like brought it back last year or something like that but it's actually really interesting like watching him review a wine got it i wanted us both to watch it just so you get to get to get the vibe yeah it's not really that funny it's just kind of interesting wine library tv yeah that's what it was wine library tv i was going in for a second one okay what do you what do you got gary gorgeous acidity throughout this wine a banana peel meets granny smith apple mid palette huge acid on the finish i still am tasting it gorgeous acidity now why is the city important when i taste this wine i know i can use it to cut through a lot of seafoods scallops oysters clams you get into that seafood it's kind of cool right yeah dude knows what the [ __ ] he's talking about or he's just making everything up as he goes just like everything else exactly which i kind of think maybe that's what it is great after shooting a pistol this is the wine to drink after shooting after making an example out of one of my staff members this is the one this is the wine i would drink after pouring hot oil on one of my employees no i mean yeah that's cool yeah that's it i don't know i thought it was kind of interesting because i just didn't know the side of him at all this is what he did for like years and then uh basically started investing and now he's a hard [ __ ] pivot man yeah so i was doing wine for like five years then i became a millionaire business personality that's basically it good for the v man yeah good for givi so yeah so i thought it was interesting to see the other side of him you know we see the exaggerated the demented side of him yeah this is garyvee behind closed doors yeah exactly yeah is he married i don't know i don't i never know like i don't know do you think gary i never know that about people what nothing i never know if people are no people are married or not i'm really bad at telling do you think he [ __ ] see this is what i mean is like people like this where it just seems like all they do is work yeah it's like hot where yeah yeah he is married there she is lizzy when do they [ __ ] [Laughter] knowing them they're like they're trying all kinds of new experimental drugs and from different companies they're invested in and different ways to have sex and who knows yeah lizzy today i've come home with a [ __ ] ring and i think we should try it she's like sure nah dude i just had a bad one what i'm trying a new set of edible oils to put in your lady's vagina i'm gonna go in for a taste now what are you getting on the midpower she's just sitting there with her legs open he's got the cup gorgeous acidity on her [ __ ] right now mid palette still tasty ass this is great for cutting through seafood i'm getting i'm getting uh banana peel meats granny guccian granny apples banana peel meets goosh and granny i'm getting banana peel meets fapple [Laughter] a little bit of that mountain dew mix in there yeah um yeah that's that's that's cool i mean i'm happy garyvee is doing what he does now i like garyvee much more as a demented deranged business guy yeah his wine personality is just sort of it's too wholesome yeah no i agree so did i ruin it what did i ruin no the lore no because that was you know that was gary before he knew what was inside him you know what i'm saying that is true when he unlocked that second layer because you saw you saw we saw hints of it yeah we started talking about the business his eyes lit up yeah the market yeah oh that was our guy right yeah that is true i guess everyone has that like villain moment you know yeah where they transition he became a business butterfly exactly yeah marked with a cash app link on his back yeah oh that's no that is interesting so did you listen to the rest of the podcast or i'm halfway done it i'm right as he's trying to be an investor now got it yeah that's cool but i think he invested in like twitter and like a bunch of companies super early on yeah so he's he's set oh yeah for sure dudes chilling hey guys want to take another quick break to thank another sponsor of today's episode manscaped attention listeners across the galaxy all the way from australia to houston do we have a pube problem if so our friends at manscaped have cleared you for takeoff with their fourth generation and brand new 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regular earth balls will think yeah yeah your stupid earth balls yeah you're small earth balls yeah that's the that's the part you got to love is the craziest people i feel like they make the most money because they just knock down doors and get into conversations and there are no limits yeah you know gary v is exactly the kind of guy to meet jack at a party 10 years ago yeah jack's like i want to create this web platform he's like you should do it yeah i want to be in yeah jack's like this guy's a [ __ ] psycho do you like wine by the way this one has it just a such gorgeous acidity jack's like this guy's a freak let's put this guy on our platform immediately do you like wine picture your whole family picture your whole family drowning in wine picture whole family chained up squashing grapes with their feet till they bleed yeah there it is what else happened this weekend man so did you watch the coffeezilla finale i did man it was good it was really good i enjoyed it what a strange place to end up crazy story i mean i guess the conclusion was that kaye is the founder of it right he is the guy that made it essentially yeah him and sam pepper are just it's either one of them if not the both of them it just bro it makes you wonder if any federal person will catch wind of it and give a [ __ ] yeah man not that i'm like championing like sending someone to jail but that's just bad man yeah i mean it's bad to like to do that and then act like you were just kind of like a puppet yeah the whole thing yeah like his apology video was like don't believe everything you read and everything sounds super premeditated as far as like oh if i get caught i'm just gonna do this yeah i mean we we were wrong remember i think we both were saying oh why wouldn't you use like a million different wallets yeah like that's what they did they did yeah they did that yeah for that is also kind of wild too when he brought up a forensic accountant it's like oh yeah that's all it would take yeah just pay someone like that 40 you know 40 hours of work and look show up next week like all right he put the money here the money there that aspect of it i wish a forensic accountant would take it over yeah and just at least give a detailed picture of like okay this is how much they made this is where they put it yeah et cetera et cetera that would be an insane follow-up but yeah seems like the steam behind giving a [ __ ] about gambling and all that has definitely died off yeah i don't know i mean people people are talking about it but you know i don't feel like anyone promoting crypto gambling is really in that much hot water anymore anyway you all right yeah i'm fine i'm just you know chilling chilling okay sure i just didn't want to harp on it too much because i can already hear everyone telling us enough enough crypto yeah no that's fair that's totally fair nothing really has happened in the past week no not with that [ __ ] anyway not at least with krypto yeah i tried watching the the new purge and i got to that scene i was dying laughing where'd you learn how to use that she just dabs yeah she's just like okay i i fell asleep man did you really i mean i smoked a little bit before so um that's the only reason i brought up the story is to let you know that i smoke weed okay sick [ __ ] yeah so we can move on yeah i remember a time where i smoked weed that's cool yeah did you get high oh yeah i bet i've been higher than you though i mean i was pretty high um how high were you like really high like how high on a scale of like one to ten like ten okay yeah i was a ten two i was probably like ten point one then yeah i mean if the skill went higher i would be higher on the scale but i haven't got higher depends on how the skill goes if you put a number on it well let's say one to what 100 it'd be 100 okay [Laughter] i'd probably be 101 then well the scale doesn't go that high yeah but i like tip the skill that's not really what that's phrase means but that's how high i am right now oh okay you're high right now yeah i'm always high yeah same always um anyway so i smoked weed that's all this podcast is a stoner pissing match yeah dudes delta variants kicking my ass i've been rolling up like every day though yeah no big yeah no it was like i woke up with a fever and so obviously first thing i do is hit my bubbler like i always do and as i breathe it out i cough right and i normally i cough because i'm smoking pure oil but right like keef yeah yeah and so i'm smoking like just straight up like the strongest most concentrated weed you possibly can for sure right and i'm dabbing it yeah right taking dabs yeah so i finished my dab and i start coughing like i normally do because i'm smoking dabs yeah and i realize this cough goes on for a little bit too long which it normally does because of the dabs that i smoke yeah and then i realized it's going on too long and it was the coven that sucks yeah so i had to add the munchies like super bad because i was so high right but i couldn't leave the place because i thought i knew i had coveted yeah yeah i've pretty much circumvented coughing and all that i'm like literally the most progressive stoner on earth no one knows that though i've built like a essentially like a neural network that taps directly into the marijuana leaf with small syringes so i directly get the thc creation and then i needle it into my arm oh you shoot up weed i shoot up weed holy [ __ ] yeah all right you win yeah and then some days when i'm feeling crazy like i'll just stick a needle in my lungs wow yeah of smoke of thc it just like it's like a drip method it just drips directly into my lungs wow yeah by the way we got like it doesn't really work if you filled your lungs with flu would you be that's pneumonia yeah you would die but that's why i want weed pneumonia so like when i do cough it up yeah weed it's just weed water yeah when i spit it out into my bong and light it self feeding cis so sick yeah honestly hey guys i want to take another quick break to thank another sponsor of today's episode doordash when was the last time everyone agreed on what's for din never exactly you want chinese food they want pizza and sometimes you're like why can't you just make up your [ __ ] mind why can't we just have chinese pizza and someone is craving froyo there's always that one froyo guy put orange chicken in it yeah you can't do that well good news because there's something for everyone on doordash doordash connects you with restaurants you love right now and right to your door yeah ordering is easy open the doordash app choose what you want from where you want and your items will be left safely outside your door with the contactless delivery drop-off setting with tens of thousands of restaurants across canada you can support your neighborhood go-to's or choose from your favorite national restaurants like mcdonald's popeyes a w and tim hortons little timmy h i like that yeah i like that i miss tim hortons listen with hundreds of restaurants in almost every province and territory you might find a new favorite too don't worry about cooking let dinner come to you with doordash for a limited time our listeners can get 25 off and zero delivery fees on their first order of 15 or more when you download the doordash app and enter a code tiny that's 25 percent off up to a 10 value zero delivery fees on your first order when you download the doordash app in the app store and enter code tiny don't forget that's code tiny 25 off your first order with doordash subject to change terms apply we got i got well i got a lot of comments of people after i said the guy was injecting heroin into his stomach they're all like it was just insulin the guy was diabetic yeah i was like yeah probably but this guy was also super [ __ ] up i don't know i just need to knock on wood why i don't want to be put on a ventilator for what just joking about injecting something into my lungs oh yeah no you're good yeah i hope so if you're vaccinated you're good yeah that's the point yeah i can't believe how many [ __ ] people yeah people are on the patreon comments everything in my youtube video just you can't say anything about vaccinations without starting a [ __ ] debate in the comment section it's so [ __ ] crazy yeah it's so crazy yeah why don't you just shut the [ __ ] up about the vaccine yeah yeah i just get really tilted you say you can't say anything yeah don't oh sorry dude sorry dude that came out of nowhere are you good dude no i'm not you brought up the vaccine i'm [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] up yeah whatever man we'll move on we don't have to ruffle any feathers so anyways fellow stoners just wanna let you all know like i was high yeah while watching the new purging the new purge you didn't make it through because you were so hyped so [ __ ] high i fell asleep i mean it was i don't know it was good what was the ending um what was the ending i was so high i don't remember oh they all go to mexico oh that's right yeah yeah yeah yeah oh yeah that's the whole like this giant circle on the whole thing is that like the guy who's exactly yeah the dude who's like anti-mexican or anti-immigration or whatever finally you know takes uh you know protection and there's yeah exactly yeah whoa so it's like well you kind of have to appreciate the last two purge is just adopting bad political angles well no it's good because it teaches you that racism is not a good thing oh right yeah so through the purge exactly yeah yeah yeah it would take yeah that's that's all it takes is a sheer meltdown of all so like society and social construct yeah to finally realize oh racism is bad yeah yeah yeah that's what the point of the movie is it's for people to watch and finish and go you know han mexicans aren't that bad that's what it's for that's what i want people to do and then each installment of the film after just highlighting a different race of people yeah exactly yeah chinese people aren't that bad yeah you know what i get it now you know the next purge is going to be like some pandemic [ __ ] it's going to be some poor taste pandemic yeah they're just waiting like a year or two yeah in three years oh man the amount of pandemic concepts it's just gonna everyone's gonna be about it yeah i know and we will watch those movies yeah actually i don't know man do you see that quote from uh i forgot what actor was saying like oh movies aren't going to be part of kids lives like they were for us how so it was matt damon or something yeah i didn't really read his reasoning but it's already different it's already so different like i don't think he i think he talked to his kid for the first time in like five years okay that's why he's getting all this publicity matt who matt damon damon i mean i was gonna say like it already is so different in the way that like i mean this is actually a good segue into the scarlett johansson suing disney mm-hmm for royalties yeah what was the movie black widow black widow yeah yeah they like it was in theaters for two weeks or something and then they put it on demand which is like every movie now mm-hmm corella fast nine yep space jam they're all you can rent it for 20 bucks online and i think it'll just be like that forever so there's not gonna be like this big movie release you know two period of two months where everyone goes out and sees it unless it's an a24 film yeah yeah green knight is in theaters only right now yeah yeah what is green night what is that the green night um it's like a fantasy movie okay i forget the premise but i want to go watch it but i have to go to the theater ah bro i'm not going to a theater again dog the the at the purge shooting yeah that's [ __ ] theaters are over man yeah yeah there's the new the new yeah like young tick tock yeah like teens both of them were like not that that's relevant at all but i mean they both had tick-tock followings i'm pretty sure yeah cause i think it went like viral on tick tock because people were like holy [ __ ] i followed these kids and and they went to see the purge and this guy shot him brutal it's walking really sad too dead and random shooting in purge movies yep that purge movie sorry i'm not going to theaters again i just don't get why they don't have metal detectors at theaters at this point i know feeders just need security i know one way in come on bro yeah it's because they already don't make any money they don't want to pay their employees [ __ ] they pay them like five dollars to scoop two day old popcorn out yeah and they use butter that is still from 1970 yeah that oil butter is crazy cookie butter just burning in a vat and with like you know old bic lighters that they found anyway so yeah they all flee to mexico right yeah and then that's the end and then his daughter's born there and then that's it yeah and then he basically is like a new man yeah it's pretty absurd how like i don't know just like tropey it is yeah it's still an entertaining like the violence is entertaining no 100 [Laughter] he's like you don't like me because i'm mexican and he's like saying because you're mexican i just feel like we shouldn't mix it's like that didn't make it better i know he's like you know you stay where you were born and i'll stay where i'm born like well that's it's kind of the same thing yeah it doesn't change what the [ __ ] you just said you know what i uh started watching is white lotus have you seen that no oh damn write that down the new hbo show it is bizarre [ __ ] bizarre because it's one of those shows where nothing really happens uh you find out at the very beginning that someone is gonna die okay somewhere during the show that's the first scene and then it flips back so you're watching this whole thing unfold knowing that someone is gonna die at some point but nothing happens like it's just this weird intertwining of like five different storylines of people at this resort in hawaii okay and they all kind of like cross paths every once in a while but like it's one of those shows that like keeps it makes you so uncomfortable and it keeps feels it keeps feeling like it's going to build up to something yeah but it doesn't it never gives you that release so you're constantly sitting there and then the episode ends and you're like [ __ ] what that reminds me man what was that show it was kind of similar to ozark it had damn it was on netflix i think it's kind of similar it was like some people staying at a vacation home and their brother owned a boating shack yeah bloodline yeah that [ __ ] slapped i loved that show so speaking of hbo shows man i did it i did the plunge what three episodes f-boy island are you dead i took the plunge and it's like a bad mtv show from the 2000s shot in 4k okay you know the formula is definitely there that first episode seems so stale the like in terms of the pacing the editing everything they're these really bad shoehorned edits it it feels like a youtube video yeah you know that and um they have these awful scripted moments that are supposed to be funny or that they have the contestants like act out and they insert modern references into it it just feels so hard like like millennials just trying to fit in with zoomers somehow or no no it's adapting zoomer humor for millennials okay you know it's just like millennials will watch that and go oh my god i know that tick tock yeah yeah like [ __ ] dude you're we're watching a whole generation of people i wouldn't know because i'm 16. but age themselves like in front of everyone yeah and you know nikki glazier is like trying to do her best but they have her deliver lines and stuff like whoever's directing this it's just like she has this moment where people are getting sent off she goes um uh like she reads out two guys names such and such you're a nice guy nice try oh no blah blah blah you're a f boy f by get out so wait so i bring this up because one dude gets eliminated in the first episode or the second episode and he reads a poem to the girl as kind of like a last ditch good no that's always a good thing to do yeah girls love poetry especially when it's composed and read by men that are trying to court them and for sure the producers were like read this you're probably gonna go home tonight but read this and just man it just it feels so bad really because the one i always made a clip of that the one part that's raw is all the contestants in the back like all the dudes are like tearing their hair up they're like brush no more what is the poem like uh it's just a poem okay it's a bad one like roses are red no no no violets are blue it's definitely sentimental i want to eat you out no it's when da da da like fall to the side that's where you find love it's something you read at a wedding okay really rough to hear not not on f boy island nah the craziest part the craziest part is that they don't they never say [ __ ] boy that is so annoying the whole time you're just wondering this is hbo max why is this so pg yeah are you an f-boy you know it's hbo isn't that the point yeah you're a [ __ ] boy man yeah and or fart boy yeah fart boy island so i just had some enchiladas dude oh man dude i feel it in my stomach man sorry i just have to say this last bit is it's so over produced in the most annoying way okay they don't do it like love island where the 4k shots accent the drama and it's used to highlight character development or whatever it's like 4k camera dolly left of this girl eating yogurt and then dolly wright i was like so girls what are you feeling today and then just up in your face 4k likes you know whatever it's oh man it's just so try hard it's trying as hard as we were trying to make fun of dana white [Laughter] yeah we that wasn't funny we're just repeating what he was saying yeah and uh the girls as well like only one of them really has personality there's one guy on there who's like self-proclaimed bitcoin investor okay i really want to know what that means yeah what when you say bitcoin funny because so many people are now yeah it's not really like that's kind of like saying like yeah i'm a roth ira investor yeah it's like most people are yeah bitcoin is is definitely the modern i think that's the modern pyramid scheme bitcoin and crypto okay i think that's the modern pyramid scheme okay in in that it's kind of legit but like the amount of people that got there playing like quote the right way i feel is starting to be overshadowed by the bad people yeah but what i'm saying is that it's not that's not a career like you that day trading is a career yeah but like stock investor is not a career yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like i open yeah i mean i guess it is what do you do for work i opened a roth 10 years ago exactly and i live off the interest cool whose money is that oh my dad's oh word so you're a dad's money investor i'm an interest collector yeah yeah yeah that's what it is yeah yeah because you're not trading bitcoin and then just like cashing out for the day being like cool i'm gonna buy lunch yeah like you have to leave it in there yeah yeah you can't really day trade bitcoin i mean i guess you could but watch this guy have like a 600 coin portfolio oh i have a thousand bitcoins oh well [ __ ] us then yeah i'm a trust fund user i'm a trust fund spender that's what i do what was dark was him and this other dude they immediately they used their childhood stories to like quote be vulnerable in the first conversation you know like one of them's like i was adopted with my sister another one you know my mom single parent i was raised alone and one of the dudes goes yeah that's he's like once they buy in that's when i know like i got him like she can't you know she she can't turn away from me now it's like that's [ __ ] up oh so he's using like the heart wrenching story yeah to get in her pants or whatever essentially yeah to like get like to manipulate so that guy is an f boy then yeah okay no he's a nice guy yeah no i just i was blown away that someone would be so comfortable representing themselves that way yeah then i remember oh yeah this is like a bad mtv show but it's like what's the point of the show is that they have to figure out who is three girls these guys have to so yeah they have to figure out who the f boys are okay and like find love or there's a cash prize and do you know who the nice guys are and who the f boys are you know who some of them are okay like you could like with deductive reasoning or some of them they like proclaim it to the talking head interview gotcha but that's the other part is this like the types of guys are it's so obvious who is not an [ __ ] yeah there's no mystery it's not like when you find out some guy's a f boy you're like it's like yeah in the first interaction he's like maybe we could sleep in the same bed you're like okay yeah yeah f boy and then the nice guys are you i love to smell your [ __ ] sometimes yeah then it cuts to f-boy i think he might be an f-boy he's got f-boy written all over him yo i'd love to [ __ ] you and the other two girls in the same day so if you would be cool with that let me know yeah i don't know if his intentions are pure it doesn't really seem like it it's like on the bachelor when there's the one girl who's a pure psycho and every girl in the house goes she's crazy i'm starting to feel like she might not be here for the right reasons it's just mind-numbing man but the fact that it's so overproduced you don't even you can't even enjoy it because you're just thinking oh the producers are just affecting all of this yeah so i hate that i hate over-editing that's what i like about love island is that like it's shot really nice but they don't they don't do those cut those reality tv show cuts where they're basically creating a different conversation in the one they're actually having yeah like when they're like so what do you do i like strawberries and you're like what do you do for work yeah yeah i'm a bitcoin investor love island does do that though sometimes i meant like the conversation cuts i hate those yeah you know when i cut to a laugh way too fast and you're like that clearly did not happen there like you just yeah totally fabricated that conversation yeah and either way i just i the thing i loved is like they made this big push to obviously compete with all the island shows yeah they made the worst one [Laughter] [Music] the only island show that's close to love island is temptation island because that is [ __ ] up here look at this ipad watch your girl get nailed yeah someone else that's like one long castle more isn't it yeah yeah oh yeah yeah i suffered through all three yeah my parents keep telling me to watch that season what's an incredible show watch season two season two will like make your heart fall in your nutsack okay it feels bad okay like and it's like [Laughter] that's how it is when you're that's how it feels that's how it feels nice like i'm gonna sit down for this tea okay okay okay okay straight away straight away yeah straight away yeah i'll check it out for sure so this is like the tv i love obvious [ __ ] boy though that's really funny what do you mean oh yeah obviously yeah yeah nah i never had a mom okay no i hate my mom okay our boy right here yeah i wonder how he treats women with love and respect when i'm in their guts yeah yeah i play lacrosse here we go yeah what oh no water polo okay do they have this bad meme as well that they edit over where it's a big warning sign and it says it's like they like use it as a joke to highlight that this dude's a club promoter i'd be like um uh if he's a club promoter he's definitely a fy bam and it like cuts it over and you're just like i guess the final thing i'll say is it feels like a show that was shot and then at the end of it they're like how do we make this a show okay it's just random footage and they're like uh there's a story here right it's just it's so chaotic and not interesting that's good they're sorry they have this water balloon fight that has no meaning there's no points there's no point to winning nikki glazier just sits back from this awkward static angle it's like she wasn't even there she just goes stop and then they stop playing and then they're like this team won how what did they win uh one of them got like a like like a special alone time with something it's just like a non-existent prize [Laughter] it's because the other part is like they have like these like vip bands like spend special time but then dudes just walk up and go hey dude you mind if i borrow her for a chat dude we gotta make a reality show where there's no point nothing happens there's no goal yeah constantly the characters are just like why are we here yeah and we have to just be like all right today we're doing this you know like the potato sack race and they're like okay and then they win and they cheer and there's no prize yeah you won you won congrats guys yeah back into the hole yeah what okay just goes on for like three years yeah it's just it's like survivor day one it's like survivor survivor months one through six and then start the bachelor on month seven so we're all gonna put you in suits and she likes the idea of getting married okay yeah that's it and then it's american ninja warrior yeah for the last for the start of the next year then it's real world for the next six the six months after that that sounds like influencer daycare yeah basically yeah yeah no we just want to imprison 20 millennials yeah and just film them [Laughter] a vague hope all right you won immunity this week but no one ever gets voted off they're like what's it from immunity from what just immunity community congrats you're immune all right all right guys after six weeks the public has voted you guys are chosen [Laughter] congrats and we'll see you next week wait chosen for what the theme music's wait you didn't tell us what we were chosen for you've been chosen tune in next week to see the public choose choose for what why us because you're the chosen ones it's so dark that's why they chose you if they're in there long enough like dude you can't please tell us you caught them right here then at the end of the year you've been chosen wait what the [ __ ] we get to leave maybe just let them wallow for another year they're the only ones that were ever chosen they started going and saying i think they're to kill us i think they're going to send us over the island edge god damn dude you ready for castlemore and they just moved to another house yeah why do we go to this house it's the same why is it it's exactly the same no it's different so you're gonna spend the next six months here and someone will be chosen okay someone i'm not going to say who yeah bro we yeah we got to do it reality show with no point oh whether the talking head interviews just get progressively more depressing i've been here for like four years it's just i'm hearing voices in my head i don't know if my parents are alive anymore was anything before this real yeah i don't know [Laughter] i don't know what's in the food i think there's stuff in the food and i'm going insane damn bro entrapment the series that's not entrapment that's just prisoner [ __ ] you know [ __ ] you know [ __ ] you now that's like um what was that [ __ ] movie the one they made an american version of it was a japanese movie right where the guy gets the room the room no not the room that's the um old things i hate about you i hate about you ten things i hate about you yeah yeah some things they hate about you yeah nailed it yeah old boy that's what it was called right that's a good ass movie the original we're just i don't know if i saw the american we're just trying to prep everyone with the list before the second lockdown hits yeah exactly second lockdown [Applause] i'm just waiting to see you gonna cut me off prematurely second lockdown second lockdown i need a whoa kenny on here or something like that whoa kenny i'm already entered into my second lockdown i just got married i just got married see you guys in the bone zone see you guys in the bone zone

Channel: TMG Studios

Views: 376,397

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Id: F8wG97SIV68

Length: 63min 0sec (3780 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 05 2021