Episode 167 - The Best of YouTube

what's up guys welcome to the tmg podcast this is actually today's episode today's free episode but if you want uh the bonus episode that went up today as well you can find that on our patreon that's patreon.com tinymeatgang and uh the the free episode will be ad free as well on there so uh and if not thanks and enjoy this one peace peace merry christmas very dickmas y'all how are you i'm good man how are you how's that poor cass oh it was nasty it was dirty dude it was so [ __ ] good but man meat meat in that quantity makes me feel like it makes me feel like a pork ass it makes you feel like a little little meat slit it does it makes me feel like a meat slide [ __ ] meat guy we gotta open up a butcher's joint called meat [ __ ] yeah there are all these creators coming out with businesses coffee companies and whatever companies butchery yeah we're gonna open a podcast butchery meat [ __ ] did you hear that nah what was that what's some one of my devices talking to me it scared me oh scared the [ __ ] i don't know it happened yeah cody who's a meat [ __ ] who's my little pork butt alexa who's a meat [ __ ] you are you are who's a bad little meat [ __ ] me cody get on your knees and tell me you're a meat [ __ ] i'm on my knees alexa i'm a meat [ __ ] i'm a meat [ __ ] it's me it's me it's me i'm the meat slit spit in my mouth what what if alexa was just real nasty yeah it had like um your alexa had a little spout for leaking and squirting yeah so your alexa could gleak or squirt into your mouth whenever she's so pleased it's it's 9 30 a.m and this is how we talk it's it's starting early tonight i'm not even done with my coffee yet starting early today my uh my power was out it wasn't right or that 7 a.m i don't know some dude that was a big ass dick just knocked over the power power line over there oh was it is that what it was like yeah i was like a homeless dude with a huge [ __ ] or was it yeah was it like a dad a dad dick you know was it like a dad going out for a jog with little tiny shorts on oh and it's a [ __ ] swinger just yeah [ __ ] just popped like a like a like a boxing heavy bag she just folded out just [Music] right into the power line took the whole [ __ ] down he's like oh i gotta drag my [ __ ] home now i feel i feel like we didn't we didn't go into the um when we did trevor wallace's podcast we were joking about the foot dildo or the foot uh that did not go as much like it should have been i was just thinking like the foot with the [ __ ] in it is funny but having a fleshlight for just people who like feet it's just a rubber foot yeah it's just a foot to suck on just a little just to suck on her just like i'm laughing at this you know you know what if someone like kicking their own dick with the foot just beating their dick around with a rubber foot like a cartoon just [ __ ] boing boing so [ __ ] hot yeah nah man uh when when i um when we were joking about uh when i said a a woman bringing a mold of her [ __ ] to the secret santa yeah i feel like that didn't go long enough either no that was great you know yeah go check that out listen to stiff socks podcast i don't know when that comes out though before that so we might just ruin that bit unfortunately sorry no no no no it'll be fine yeah it'll be fine go check that episode out when it comes out yeah so so this dude knocked over the power with this big ass dick yeah what happened you know it was a homeless guy um you know he he pushes a shopping cart and it looks like it's got a bunch of [ __ ] in it but the thing that people didn't realize it was just a big camouflage for his gigantic dick okay he's like you know that [ __ ] was like a ancient ancient like tree stump in there you know i mean like it's just long and heavy and you had to put blankets over it he's like one of those like rare cases of elephantitis but it's just in his penis oh wow yeah good for him you know yeah and it got so it got big enough that it finally took all the blood from his entire body so he could no longer hold on to the cart and the cart just like slipped away and then he just went rolling with this big-ass dick just and then took out the power took it out wow yeah is there is there a lesson here it sounds like a fairy tale yeah um the lesson is don't get elephantitis but then it all you you it got fixed right you're good yeah i'm good it was me i was the homeless guy yeah i went rolling man i woke up the paramedics came and got me they were like oh my god it's a huge [ __ ] i'm like please return it to normal we're gonna have to amputate this sir i'm like no wait no did you see what i tweeted this morning yeah look at the look at the youtube trending page right now i love what i love watching white people open gifts i didn't even photoshop that that's real all i did was take out the creator on the rise panel or whatever but literally the top six videos i think right now are the same group of people can i can i be that can i be that guy remember when i told you and i i told you then i'm not saying this to be that guy remember i said i i think youtube is just tripling the [ __ ] down was that you yeah sorry guys i'm getting someone's eyeballs taken out of my kitchen oh is that the drilling yeah i know cartel tick-tock is like popping off right now so i figured you know i i know how to make that content that's easy oh so that's what you're doing in the kitchen yeah yeah i'm just outsourcing it i just got a couple homies here they're not even mugging hustle dude the grind never stops man podcasts in the studio yeah my kitchen torture yeah you know they're in with you know it's a little bit [ __ ] up because i couldn't find any like willing like you know latinos to play the part so i had to hire like some estonian guys you know and they they got bandanas around their face so they're just they're cosplaying but yeah we're we they got pliers and [ __ ] they're pulling people's teeth out my tick tock's about to go crazy damn dude damn cartel tick tock i'm trying to think because i was mr beast is doing like a year in uh he's doing he's doing his own youtube rewind and so he like sent me some questions to answer and they're all like what's the best part about or what was the best part about 2012 what was the best and i'm like think like what was the best thing on youtube in 20 in 2020 sorry not 2012. yeah he's doing a 2012 2012 youtube rewind it's going to be so nice yeah yeah um and so i was trying to think i was like what was the best thing that happened in content this year i couldn't think of a single thing but it was cartel tick-tock man yeah yeah so i got you know i got people's teeth being ripped out and [ __ ] that's actually going to be my next tech talk yeah i'm going to say yeah and i'm i'm giving it to you here first i'm gonna be like hey i know cartel tick-tock is going crazy so i'm just gonna hold up a pair of pliers and then just have someone in the background like a muzzle like no no and then just yeah and wide i'm just gonna move just bricks just ran wrapped taped up pillows and [ __ ] just make it look like i'm doing them dealing drugs a body pillow wrapped in that [ __ ] shipping tape hold on i gotta change my light battery uh-oh yes i battery powered lights still cody living in cody live over there living in 2001. [ __ ] idiot you're 20 years ahead using batteries stupid huh nothing what'd you say man yo speaking of batteries i saw the funniest tweet it was like oh you didn't come damn here's some batteries and it was that 50 cent gift with him like laughing and like driving off and that [ __ ] had me crying like here's some batteries oh for the vibrator ah nice i like that so rude yeah just reach into your nightstand and grab like just because usually only take like one or two depending you know yeah just a pack of like a four pack of duracell and just smacking it on her stomach [Laughter] later later it's still in the package there you go i was like ah what damn i'm sorry i'm sorry i did that to you smack i did what i came here to do literally yeah yeah i can see it what are we talking about yeah um the best friends videos yeah we should make best friends videos man we should make 17 videos we should film a vast cringe from four different angles and upload it on four different channels my channel your channels fox the first one would be that's cringe whatever the second one will be best friends cringe it's cringing to this video and then third one is watching best friends cringe to this video [Laughter] [ __ ] that's a good idea i mean well i wonder what kind of i don't even wanna um i'm not even gonna like watch the video to like wonder what what gifts they open i don't know man but it's just all it's all [ __ ] um uh like doses of trend it's just something odd [Laughter] it's all it's all just it's all normal [ __ ] like they're all they're all opening like gucci wallets and stuff they're getting each other gucci shoes and whatever and then you know one of them one of them is the one that gets the weird gifts like noah beck doesn't really know how to shop for gifts he just buys every one trend what is this that's like a trend shot i thought we could all cycle together james charles on trent [Laughter] hi sisters today i'll be i don't know anything about trend dude hello sister ah i'm sorry trend cough [Laughter] he just gets yolked like bretman rock have you seen that dude lately no i didn't know that who's that that [ __ ] is uh man look look him up man look at bretman rock before and after uh bretman rock yeah you know i don't want to oh yeah okay damn yeah buddy just used to be lean and hyperactive and it's dead lifting [ __ ] vw bugs man oh did he let oh he's like a what he lives man he lives i mean i don't want to you know is he a bodybuilder i'm stepping into a world yeah yeah yeah well it's like a huge wait did you send a picture or something no no i'm going analog today man okay that's fair yeah i saw some people on reddit talking [ __ ] about what they said we're not funny anymore i said [ __ ] i'll do this no links it's just just to remind you we still got it yeah i mean it'd be better if we were together it give us a [ __ ] break man this [ __ ] stopped i'm about to do my billboard yeah what the [ __ ] i can't i can't i lost it that's his [ __ ] stupid person's voice just shut the [ __ ] up this shit's hard all right podcasting's hard it's hard dude it is no man podcasting from home is i hate doing this [ __ ] virtually stinks but you realize we're in the epicenter of the entire world one in 80 people have coven in la right now yeah it's pretty it's pretty [ __ ] up man one in 80. you go outside you get it well [ __ ] don't get mad at me from ohio yeah just go outside we can't yeah exactly the world i don't care about the [ __ ] world studio when you guys gonna get back together just come on just go to the studio man just get the virus i don't think you guys realize how many people we have to just walk past to get to our studio yeah and a lot of them are old so if we have it like it's also uh you know what i mean oh yeah and cody and i can be the ventilation system in that building cody and i could do one passes that building rkd would be like 6-0 each potentially a killing spree yeah killings we would come out of covid like like uh what's in in cod do they do rankings yeah like we'd be double prestige yeah like in uh in in valorant they do rankings like we'd be you know diamond rated players you know i mean yeah 6 100 yeah oh yeah it's you yeah man so you know ladies and gentlemen have you ever watched the world series of poker on tv and dreamed of winning big like the pros the official world series of poker atlas you play real-time poker with poker fans around the world what yeah hone your holding skills and virtual cash games tournaments play in casino mode to go up against the house or connect your facebook account set up a virtual table with your friends wow that's sick it's as close to the real thing as you can get without the ten thousand dollar buy-in uh i love texas holding man i [ __ ] i mean i i played a i love that [ __ ] stupid amount of poker i love poker the world series of poker app is a great way to improve your poker skills and it's free to download um yeah so if you're tired of social distancing you can easily set up a virtual poker game with your friends it's the number one free poker game uh the world series of poker game always has tons of players online to match up against whenever you want to play be on the lookout for all the crazy events they got coming up around the holidays as well best of all you can get 1 million chips as a bonus gift when you join today so what's the hold up what are you doing what are you doing there sitting there listening to a podcast go download the world series of poker app uh in the apple app store or on google play and amazon now and don't forget to use our promo code wsoptmg for 1 million bonus chips when you sign up that's a million bonus chips when you download the world series of poker app and use promo code wsoptmg play it while you listen to this podcast yeah but that you know we um can we shout out oh no we'll wait we'll wait to do that who our boy who's about a the new homie who's about to yeah do it no because he might you know whisper it i don't know what you're talking about uh uh okay i sort of know but i don't know what you're talking about just like blink it to me it rhymes with puke yeah why can't we say anything because we what if his situation over at you know oh isn't completely oh i see we were saying yeah that's actually a good point yeah but soon we're gonna have some news finally yeah we will have some news man yeah so [ __ ] you all the people on reddit we're working on it okay we're doing things like also guys we are doing we're not just in autopilot that's not us have you ever known that to be us no just a coast no no we're gonna we're we're gonna be we're gonna be joe rogan yeah we're not enough i'm not we're not an autopilot [ __ ] we still do the dishes yeah you generally you know do you know how many other people that that get to this level and they just stop cleaning their own house we still clean our own house and you do damn damn damn one of the best one of the best that's not fair though that's not fair who's who's who who's your who's your person i'm gonna call him up and and buy him out no you need to be humbled man no dude need to bring you back down to zero dude if there's ever a place if there's ever something to spend money on dude i'm telling you it's better shut the [ __ ] up right now it's about i'm just what what do you want me to do why you want me to lie and just yeah if there's ever something to spend money on uh there's a good naval tweet he says spend money to save time don't spend time to save money yeah no of course but you know some things you got to do to stay humble like you got to fold your own clothes yeah yeah that's why i make alina fold all my clothes so you know she stays humble [Laughter] she's gonna come running in here what the [ __ ] did you say yeah fold that fold that spare shirts just dirty underwear in the yeah fold that too i'm also coming out with socks with my face fold those up here's some stinky ones guys you heard from me first okay this remember this applies to any kind of couple all right you just have to be the one to do it first make the other person do the laundry to keep them humble yeah it doesn't you know you could be the only relationship babe i'm just trying to keep you humble yeah i'm trying baby this is a lesson gaslighting to the fullest you've become a little bit cocky i just think that your behavior is a little bit odd i just you know i think you should just maybe you should fold the laundry at this remind yourself where you came from yeah yeah get in touch with the things that you know your mom did to take care of you right you little [ __ ] jesus christ now listen i do do the dishes whenever i cook i do the dishes right afterwards okay and i cook a lot yeah you are cooking a lot i'm just saying that i have i there i don't mind having a little help once in a while you know not yet no a little hell once in a while is a-okay yeah and by the way the quote the naval quote i'm saying that's if if you have money if you have the resources to do that i think it's i think one of the best things the ways to spend money is on experiences and uh saving yourself time because time is the ultimate currency that's the one that matters the most yeah in life because it's you know we don't have a lot of it so yeah this is exactly what i tell of the team of developers who are creating the ai version of me so i never have to work again it's what's exactly what i tell them it's important to spend money to save time you know what i mean no but that's i like working though oh you know what i'm saying wait you just kind of still rolling whoo sorry we're back they don't what were we talking about they don't they don't want me to record man what happened those are the people from reddit they heard me talking [ __ ] they're going to take his internet out i'm gonna take his internet out so your power went out and now your internet just went out yeah now they're both back what the heck's going on over there dude homeless guy man took the internet with him big ass dick big ass dad bad guy stack yeah this [ __ ] homeless guy came through a big-ass dick bro this guy had a big ass stick to all the power man it was crazy [Laughter] this is jesse from the fast and furious yeah man this guy came through the big ass dick took the whole power down big rip though is he oh is that not the main guy is that not what it's not paul oh it's not who paul that's brian spillner okay my bad jesse is like jesse's dom's right-hand man dude you know you don't need bro look up just why can't i ever why can i not remember what he looks like bruh that's like one of the best sounds like he's surf so yeah no he's like he's just a oc kid with a trembly ass voice [ __ ] dude i got pitted big ass tube i was deep in that tube dude my fat dick yeah i was like in it too surfing is kind of like the circle of life man like how did you get here you came through a big-ass tube yeah dude and that's the same thing i'm just like a sperm still riding this wave full just swimming through the tube trying to make it out into the world my big-ass day [ __ ] big ass [ __ ] dick in the tube full would you saw a guy paddle boarding and he's like backspace too and you're about to get pissed off like don't [ __ ] paddleboard and he just kind of like floats around his massive hanger oh yeah like a third leg hanging like a just a tree trunk hanging out from your [ __ ] oh when people get a new surfboard they say they say i got a new stick it's my new stick right right we got to make a surfboard brand called knight nice stick ah nice stick nice big big stick no that one doesn't really um we dude we laugh so [ __ ] hard every time in call of duty whenever the characters get in the helicopter they go i can take this stick i can take the stick i can take the stick now get out again i'll get back in get out again and get back in i can take the stick get back out and get back in please i can take this stick [Laughter] no i can take the stick you're just you're just downloading different dlc to hear that line in different voices i can take this stick yeah this girl's super hot wait listen to her get in the helicopter i can take the stick speaking of um horny stuff yeah what's up brother you heard about a twitch stream or misbehaving oh is this no it sounds like it but it's not it's for real no i didn't what happened to her this is so funny all right so people on twitch have been suspended for all kinds of innocuous [ __ ] you know people got suspended for playing clips of valenity you know and she didn't even get suspended for the whole thing yeah yeah i know this this young woman all right she she apparently didn't uh swap her stream key because she's a cam girl i guess but she also no so she goes on twitch just turns around and just shows that [ __ ] showing oh really just whole yeah she showed the starfish just straight up that's how she started the stream with her ass i i don't know the full you know you know i was about to make a joke about whatever but yeah apparently she i i i don't wanna you know i don't want to spread misinformation but my understanding was that at some point in the stream she just flipped around pulled underwater to the side and just just showing hole i was gonna say that's a pretty it was a pretty hardcore way to start a stream out it's not it wouldn't be good to do that at the beginning though because not everyone's tuned in you got to let it but that's what i'm saying but but she could be going somewhere way crazier you know it's true you don't know what she does on her camera [ __ ] that could be the way that she starts maybe that's the foreplay so she got a three-day ban three days for showing [ __ ] this is back spec what people have been been for like a month for playing a [ __ ] drake song bro uh some some like anonymous twitch person hit up that video game reporter slasher and dm wrote him an email was like uh your coverage of the company is very concerning and like it was like you know not really a threat but it's kind of like vague threat okay you know and someone said switch yeah that was anonymous yeah but it's gonna be crazy yeah he tweeted about it but he was like oh yeah that's that's the issue guys my reporting maybe you know not the way you guys handle [ __ ] yeah i don't know man twitch has gotten i think a little too comfortable yeah i think they're ripe for uh someone to come through and and [ __ ] it up now you think so i think i think twitch streamers would [ __ ] bail if mixer came now they just they they came a little too early mixer came now streamers were bailing left and right because what everyone's just sick of the yeah just like the inconsistent moderation it's so clearly like you know moderators are it just depends who you get you know they're like the [ __ ] dmv yeah you know like so sometimes they're good sometimes they're bad yeah so you know i think i think you know uh oh i think they've had passed some some tos term they added where you could no longer see who a person was following because i think a bunch of twitch mods were getting outed for 90 of who they followed were just you know women with like titties really basically yeah oh my god so the whole thing is just biased towards yeah towards that yeah it's just these [ __ ] these these horn dogs that just you know he showed hole on stream oh she showed hole on stream wow wow well technically we have to ban you we don't want to technically what i can let you back into the platform the rules say hey listen the rules say we gotta do something about this but they're not my rules if it was my rules i'd say more whole not less that's so funny that she got banned for three days she's literally showing her [ __ ] and again i don't know if that's true or not but it's so no that's true so she did show her [ __ ] she showed her [ __ ] and she got banned for three days three days three days people have been banned for weeks for less for like scratching their balls you know what i'm saying yeah but how nice were their [ __ ] no but like that's crazy yeah yeah we still that wow [Music] we still don't know what dr disrespect got bad for but it couldn't have been bad is that right showing your [ __ ] on stream is pretty much the most that you can do to get banned forever yeah i don't know i don't yeah it's kind of crazy what the [ __ ] could a doc have done you know did he like have someone murdered off camera yeah i don't know during the stream he had someone murdered off camera during the stream that's why he got banned he was sending texts to his contract killer yeah hey man do it now she was really misbehaving yeah there you go there you go that day listen man you want chinese they want pizza someone's craving froyo and there's something for everyone at doordash if you don't know what doordash is doordash is the app that brings you food you're craving right now right to your door ordering 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your first order when you download the doordash app in the app store and don't forget the code tmg don't forget let's go tmg five dollars off first order with doordash confirmed man all the mods are coomers man coomer's oh man that's still crazy the thing that's crazy to me is that's what the internet's for it buttholes buttholes and degeneracy and like it's like supposed to be your second life mm-hmm what what i don't like this future where people are getting banned for showing butthole that's the whole point of the internet it's to be a totally you know it's not on twitch no [ __ ] twitch is for good clean fun oh they're fun for the whole family who is running that company now i mean i i don't even i don't know i'm trying to carry this [ __ ] it's just like sorry i'll stop it's just do it rant it's just a it's a crazy thing that they're trying to do they're complete like the tos is so aggressive now they're i think they're they're trying to do some goofy [ __ ] it's like it's like youtube [ __ ] doubling down on like these nine tick talkers like someone up at twitch like got in with an advertiser and and they're like well you know we'd love to put coca-cola ads but we can't because yeah yeah and now they're just you know okay we'll we'll just try to extract everything that makes the platform what it is and it's just gonna be you know um i don't know what the [ __ ] they want on there anymore yeah yeah yeah i don't know it's gonna be like it's gonna the content is kind of gonna be like the free stuff which is ad supported which is all going to be family friendly you can't swear or else you don't get ads you don't make money or private stuff in which people pay where you can are uncensored and you can say whatever you want yeah that's what it's moving towards it kind of already is like that yeah i mean it's it's yeah youtube got better they fixed the ad [ __ ] i've i haven't gotten demonetized in forever on youtube now no definitely youtube has gotten better but i also watch what i say you can't open with swear words you can't have swear words in the first 15 seconds or something like that they'll demonetize you for that yeah so i still have to like censor myself a little bit [Music] yeah it's uh you know i just you know i just i just want everyone to be able to freely show whole and say [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] and come you know what i mean yeah and still get coca-cola ads still get a coca-cola why doesn't coca-cola want to advertise on butthole videos why not coke good for your whole yeah you know it's refreshing after showing your hole on camera that's the whole this should be the whole ad it should be misbehaving turns the camera she's like hey boys boy i'm tired you know what i could go for a nice cold coca-cola yeah and then the theme song plays freshen up your start coca-cola good after showing your [ __ ] on stream you know what the best thing is after showing your a-hole a whole coke [Laughter] oh my hole is bubbling again better get back to the stream brushing up your stuff nothing better after showing your hole in a whole coke dude corporate oh my god big big brand sponsored porn videos today i will be shoving this entire refreshing diet coke up my [ __ ] freaking ass it's got a light on it the brand she sends it in for feedback to bring it the can was a little turn before you shoved it in or as you were putting it into your ass we couldn't really see the diet coke logo so if you could reshoot that part dude it's a [ __ ] mentos commercial just picture the song playing mentos better takes the stick of mentos she looks at it smiles she shoves it all the way in her [ __ ] then she's walking down the street and a businessman is is running it's like man a businessman is running he's got a thing of coffee he he drinks it and he's like i have a meeting in 10 minutes and the porn star is like she holds up her finger it's not even a porn star it's just a woman okay holds up her finger and he smiles they have a mutual understanding and she just [ __ ] flips both her legs up and shoots those mentos right out of her [ __ ] into his mouth he's like they high-five men he goes to his meeting there we go with a big clean smile mentos the fresh maker how's juveniles hill i'm sorry uh now i'm just thinking about some girl farting out mentos into diet coke [Laughter] that has to be a thing right [Laughter] no man [ __ ] she puts both into her butthole and sees how long she can last no no she she [ __ ] puts a butt plug in and then she just shoots off like a [ __ ] coke bottles dude perfect today i'm perfect we got riley reed and we're doing the mentos challenge [Laughter] oh my god you're really getting them in there yeah jeez i didn't know you had someone they stick a two liter in there and just yeah you squash it and then plug it no yeah then she takes a football shaped butt plug all right are you ready are you ready and it's a dude running long with his [ __ ] arms up he's like alright go arm's like a goal post and then he catches it in his mouth dude perfect [Laughter] goddamn ah now the [ __ ] is wrong with my lungs even smoking man you all right that was a fun tangent i hate man too hard and it's just pain do you ever get that no i just completely hit the bottom of my lungs you know sometimes you know i get i get the laughter into internal pain yeah you laugh so hard and then you just get an existential crisis right in the middle of it right in the middle of my big-ass deck then my big eyes deck a big-ass deck bro oh wow we can keep going man i think i think big corporate porn ad is is ridiculously funny i mean it maybe that's going to be maybe maybe i was wrong about the free content being pg maybe maybe like they'll start to embrace porn when they realize that sells things who's who's gonna be the big brand that like actually gets after it you know like carl's jr did it a while back you know remember when they had the that horny ass commercial yes of the girls eating yeah burgers barbecue sauce was like gone all over their body and said yeah wasn't paris hilton and i think so she was the first one wasn't she yeah and and still remember and that worked super well for them mm-hmm people they're sells but they don't really embrace it like it should be actually people having sex while eating a big mac you want to go to mcdonald's after this yeah totally oh spicy chicken fingers shake shack it should be like like uh it should be like hbo you know it's i i so badly want to do this for a like a tick tock or something which is so pathetic but it's basically hbo be like and i just want to shoot this scene that's like really expensive this [ __ ] guy like knocks on the door and he's like woman opens the door she's like oh my god frank he's like in a war uniform she's like oh no he's like i'm sorry michael your husband he he didn't make it she's like oh she starts bawling crying and then he's watching her and he he puts he puts out a hand to console her on her shoulder she's like i'm so sorry she stops crying she looks up at him and it's just a hard cut to them [ __ ] the [ __ ] out of each other yeah just you know it looks like hbo's just always like you know and then i just want a uh a series of scenes where [ __ ] just gets progressively more emotional yeah and it always cuts to them [ __ ] just hard as nails funny that sounds like an snl skate honestly in a good way oh damn that's not the guess and else oh no no not one of the bad ones like in a good way no no i uh yeah that's funny i was kind of thinking you were going to say that there that he was like i'm so sorry and she's like what and then a naked dude like walks in the scene from the back room i was just budding and you just get a frontal dude nudity just swinging it around something wrong hey babe check this wait who's this what's wrong oh my husband he died at war oh man that's thanks that sucks all right i'll be out here i'll be in the in the terrace i got a good rhythm you know i've been able to do it do it fast but i've been able to get it slow like this like a boxer just kind of jump roping over here you know thirty one thirty two thirty three thirty four three three five three six seven seven thirty eight thirty nine he's just softly counting the background your husband he's uh he was but you know he was ambushed babe come jump rope [Laughter] my my [ __ ] my like pinnacle one was like a girl you know she like over like a woman or another dude the dude wakes up from surgery and the doctor's sitting there like you all right i was like yeah what happened say well you got in a motorcycle accident you went into a coma you had to remove your pancreas to save you he's like oh my god yeah your left leg didn't make it he's like [ __ ] she's like i'm so sorry let me know if there's anything i can do to console you and then just she's right this is the doctor's riding him in the gown nice completely just and there's a patient next over who's just listening to the whole thing just i like it man that's funny it's just a rough [ __ ] i mean it's hard it's not great it's no i like it i like it a lot i think that's some good clean fun right there yeah good clean fun it's not a gut buster but it's it's definitely like a it's like a little nose turtle no no i like it a lot i think you should definitely make that you're like definitely make that and cast me as uh one of the yeah yeah that's a great idea man i would love to be one of the guys that gets you know if you need someone for the motorcycle part hit me up man hit me up dude i'll be the guy in every single one of those ones man [Laughter] no that's really funny i like that it reminds me of the one the the reason why i brought up snl is because it reminds me of the when they're making fun of the oc and the um what you said yeah yeah yeah you see that one yeah yeah yeah what you said yeah that's the key setting yeah so it's like when you expect the punch line but it just keeps happening and just it gets funnier and funnier every time [Laughter] dude i've always wanted to learn another language but the last time i decided to give it a try i spent hours learning random vocabulary words that i knew i'd never use babble is different it teaches you phrases you'll actually use in real life even slang babble is the language learning method designed to get you speaking your new language within weeks with daily 10 to 15 minute lessons puta devil taught me how to say pluto you start with words and phrases and then sentences gradually get more complex soon you're practicing short conversations and babble's interactive dialogue and speech recognition technology helps you improve your pronunciation and accent so you feel confident when you speak babel's lessons are created by real language experts not machine learning algorithms or ai so you learn practical real world conversations babel has sold over 10 million subscriptions and you can choose from 14 different languages including 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prescription solutions backed by science hymns was created by a guy she's a guy who knows some men's health kim's was created by a guy so you know so you know what he's talking about no hymns was created by a guy who knows about men's health conversation a bald guy who knows no we don't know if he's bald but he knows some men's health conversations are easier online than in person no more awkward in person doctors visits or long pharmacy line uh for hims connects you to licensed medical professionals online which could save you hours today him just giving you their best offer yet if you're not happy with your results after 90 days they'll give you a full refund so right now our listeners can get their first visit absolutely free go to for hymns dot com slash tng that's f o r h i m s dot com slash tmg prescription products require an online consultation with a healthcare provider who will determine if a prescription is appropriate restrictions apply see website for full detail if you do i can't do this see website for full details and important safety information remember that's for hims.com tmg sorry that was a fine print there i had to get i had to sneak that in there i'm uh i'm what you're what okay okay i was gonna say something and then i just completely lost it sorry i'm a pancake i'm a pancake man if you think about it dude i think i um i i rewatched the second baking video and the line where you said my testosterone levels are dropping i had like a dream that that was true so it probably is it freaked me the [ __ ] out no shut up man that's like one of the few things i can hold on to is i have high test levels so i'm i'm get i'm literally getting a blood test in two weeks i'm freaked out for test levels i need to make sure i'm still at my peak peak performance jesus i don't need testosterone i don't even need it it's all i have left man yeah but what do you need it for i don't know lift the couch install a tv yeah that's true that's i should make sure i'm good man yeah no i should probably get checked too honestly i'm probably fine but yeah i don't know i just been feeling weird so it made me think maybe i need to get my [ __ ] checked out that's what cookie talk is for dude yes for honest um you know thoughts and checks on making sure we're getting we're you know we're keeping up on these things we just go back and do it and i'm like so my testosterone levels are actually dropping yeah yeah here are my i results think we're probably fine but i think it probably happens around our age you know like after 30 22 yeah 22. yeah 22 is going to drop sorry yeah just because you know we've been partying so hard yeah nose candy that you know it's just gonna it's gonna take a toll on you yeah dude i got it go ahead go ahead sorry you go ahead no you go please no you're my guest come on i'm steam rolling go ahead okay no no i wanted to i wanted to chat about the the thing that you sent the down bad patrol how that was like made by a meme company yeah it was yeah some marketing agency that was like the i guess they had a linkedin post it was that in lyric [ __ ] posts yeah so there's a linkedin a blog or something and which was smart you know who the [ __ ] reads that and some dork went and dug it up and was like wow these companies are literally fake all these pills are fake you saw it on twitter mm-hmm that's someone screenshotted that yeah so i sent the screenshot so down bad patrol if you've seen it is the twitter account of dudes getting rejected basically and then what is lyric [ __ ] posts lyric cards that look like [ __ ] posts i don't know what that means i think they just take lyrics that are that suck and make them like the genius yeah sorry someone's getting their teeth drilled out right now that sounds dope can you hear it a little bit tiny bit it does sound like a dentist drill or something like squawk put a gate on it it sounds fine but anyways these these twitter accounts go crazy viral in the last like couple weeks like both of them were huge yep down bad patrol was the fastest growing twitter account on twitter beating joe biden okay yeah and so this is the the linkedin post from the guy who started this company who started the twitter account it said he said never be afraid to experiment on new concepts if you were anywhere near twitter last week odds are you've seen one of our new brands pop up in your feed the team decided it would be fun to launch some new brands fast they blew up both down bad patrol and lyric ship host had six figure follower growth in just one week so so yeah yeah i mean first of all it's not a brand it's just a [ __ ] meme account yeah how is that a brand why are you classifying that as a brand because you know he saw he saw dequan sold for a bazillion dollars so now they're trying to do the same [ __ ] and they're they're doing it yeah but aren't they aren't they a little bit like late to the game what do you mean who's really buying a meme account now well that's what i'm saying i don't know how they make money off this yeah i know there's probably a billion ways but what are they i don't know like what i'm thinking is that they're gonna release uh you know they're like they're gonna look public uh they're gonna read like a book in urban outfitters or something like that about dudes who are down bad it's like a living room funny book or something like that yeah turn it into a goofy product yeah like coasters with people getting rejected on them or something like that or record label buys lyric [ __ ] posts and they get the dudes down bad as a thing and then you know start trying to plug [ __ ] then before you know it weirdly rappers are retweeting their lyrics [ __ ] post call outs like oh damn they caught me with my goofy lyrics yeah yeah it's just it feels wrong to know we're just getting toyed with we're just we're just we're getting played and every aspect of the internet we're just getting [ __ ] with jimmy kimmel he got owned man yeah but someone said some [ __ ] the other day that had me laughing they're they're like yeah it's kind of funny when you actually listen to the lyrics of a song and you think oh dang and it it hit me that this person doesn't listen to lyrics at all which i can't comprehend yeah because i feel that's at the front of my brain lyrics lyrics definitely isn't that a thing though that dudes don't listen to lyrics generally is it i don't know women pay more attention to lyrics than men do isn't that a thing i don't i mean that that makes sense women definitely like listen to what you say yeah exactly it's so funny to put out like like 21 savage putting out a rap album and women being like oh 21 is speaking be a good listener boyfriend's trying to turn up and said do i i love that thing he said about it running shut up let 21 speak it's just saying the same word over and over again hold on i love this part i'm across running running running it's like oh my god all his cars are running that's good for him it's so good for him [Laughter] oh my god dude his [ __ ] vip is just like all women who listen to the words very intently yeah oh my god running oh such good news so happy for you so wonderful that all your cars are working is that what it's about i mean that's a line he has in there oh okay what is it that's what he says is on my car see here i am confirming stereotypes yeah but yeah i don't know talking about this i don't know man we got dementia who cares no you're talking about why do you listen to lyrics just i mean it's just you know don't you care about lyrics or not i do i care about lyrics i love i mean i love when people have good lyrics it's i i just i don't know why we started talking about this that's what i'm trying to figure out uh was it lyric [ __ ] posts yeah lyric [ __ ] post not saying labels would buy lyrics should post and then rappers would be calling out their lyrics should post yeah this i mean uh maybe you know i almost feel like there needs to be a renaissance where rappers need to feel some pressure to think about what they say a little bit because it's it's there's been way too many moments where i've listened to a song and then you know my my glock gay go both ways and you're like what no that's cool it's cool but it's like like you know maybe this needs to be a follow-up bar to explain what where they're coming from a little bit you know what i mean okay i mean just like uh you know like uh like is this a is this a dig it you know gay or are you in support is it a supportive bar you know what i mean yeah i just don't like having a existential crisis about your glock what does it also mean for your glock to go both ways yeah yeah wouldn't it wouldn't it be bi yeah but also what does it mean literally or what does it mean what does it kill it it kills men and women okay it goes after men and women i gotcha my glock bisexual gotcha did you actually hear that bar or is that what just uh yeah um i i think that's a shoreline mafia line my glock gay they go both ways huh something something like that yep yep shoreline mafia is this phoenix is it phoenix flex oh phoenix you did not did you hear the new the new guy that they added to oh no no no i got the line wrong my bad my bad is a phoenix flexing bar my my glock gay it give him facials what yeah what yeah but everyone gives facials not only gay people yeah but no women i mean can women give facials no but straight guys can give facials too why is why is the line my glock gay it give facials because he's giving no he gives his hand their money he's talking about killing a guy so he's like you know gives him it gives him a face she's gonna it's gonna yeah a man's face okay okay she was a guy in the face man's clock gaze hill hey man this glock gay oh your gun having sexuality is so funny yeah it's pretty funny you better do murders like oh we can't can't take this ar man why not sauce he's a he's a bit he's a bit homophobic he's a little bit bigoted he will absolutely not he won't shoot a guy he won't shoot a guy he just won't do it he won't do it locks up every time watch point it at me it won't shoot yeah dude i'm not gonna [ __ ] spray a guy no way dude a gun just literally ew bro sauce [Music] anyways man that's some morbid did you hear the third guy or the fourth guy they added to shoreline mafia malone brown oh really yeah who's malone brown he's good you should listen to him okay he's got yeah he's got bars [Laughter] yeah i mean yeah maybe yeah there has been a whole lot of of my gun gay my glock gay which is you know a positive thing i like that rappers are embracing all kinds of people into the music yeah i would agree i like when that's used not in a negative sense yeah totally you know then it makes everybody feel welcome when listening to some [ __ ] you know bitcoin homophobic man my glock is gay yeah exactly me no i love gay people my all my guns are gay i have a ton of gay guns all my guns gay oh my gun's gay bro trust me i got some gay guns man this just it's morbid as [ __ ] yeah all right i'm sorry for joking about people dying anyway it's fine it's fine i just see how i feel but you know whatever how about how about bitcoin how about it you you got some fomo no i mean it what it broke uh what 20 23 000 or something like that yeah it's a 23. that's nuts it's insane do you think it'll ever go lower than 20 ever again that's a good question i think it definitely has the potential to go to 20. um i'm just saying it's kind of funny that that was like a glass ceiling and now it just shattered it yeah but did it though yeah i mean it's been what 23 now for like the entire week or something oh that's not long enough which is pretty wild [Music] yeah anyways no no crypto talk no actually i've taken a recent interest in investment and let me go ahead and give you the top 10 stocks i like the most yeah and if there's anywhere you know i'm not a licensed professional and you shouldn't take my advice but if there is anywhere i think you should put your money i'm joking we just turned this [ __ ] into a name no we just we just started trying to pivot the podcast and promoting trading strategy and uh we gotta find the weirdest stocks to invest in that's what we got to do um let's see if there's a come stock yeah c-u-m come in yep yep come c-u-m no way cummins inc literally what does it do american multinational corporation that designs manufactures and distributes engine engines filtration and power generation products wow oh it's like yeah it's like a jenny that's so great do you think they chose their ticker like can you choose it i mean what else hides that yeah no you you get to choose the ticker they knew what to say they chose come they knew what they were doing that's a legend that runs that company probably when was the word come invented i know we've asked this question before damn this is dumb as [ __ ] um we didn't watch the vomit video maybe we can watch that in the bonus oh yeah that's so funny i don't know why i'm having like severe second thoughts about joking about gun sexuality why i don't know man i just question everything now who's fearless i spent too much time inside sorry we'll all forget bruh um you're a malone brown no that's fine okay here let's talk about this according to super data this is from slasher uh among us had nearly half a billion monthly active users in november to make it the most popular game of all time in terms of users among us was made by a three three person team absolutely incredible they deserve all this success yeah you saw what cody at techcrunch said about that guys this is direct quote from cody crunch [ __ ] off direct quote from cody at techcrunch let's get it um let me say it because it's my quote okay go ahead pretty insane the amount of impact people are able to make with small teams these days [Laughter] guys that's cody at techcrunch by the way but it's true yeah no it is insane the kind of impact people are able to make with small teams these days well no but like i'm thinking in the in the same vein as joe rogan like there are two guys oh yeah that made the biggest show on the planet and now three guys made the biggest game game ever ever like that what that's including world world of warcraft starcraft anything among us was the biggest is the biggest game ever yeah yeah and made by three people that's [ __ ] crazy if it's bit i i guess i mean it's is it more than dota if it's more than dota that's wild because dota is like international i mean it says uh it says most popular game of all time in terms of monthly users dang that's what i mean is like the there's no formula anymore no whereas like in the past with entertainment at least it was like yeah you get all your best friends you open some presents yeah yeah exactly you shoot the video from seven different cameras okay okay there still is a formula six different youtube channels right if you do that yes there's gaming what i'm saying is i'm saying like the old days with with tv it was like it was like all tv shows are made exactly the same yeah you got to get on a big network yep and you have to have these things in it and it has to be uh you know relatable to these groups of people and then it succeeds yeah with video games it was like every year call of duty comes out that one is going to be the most popular game yeah and then there's or if you it's like a you know mm porg or whatever mm mm-hmm mmo rpg yeah it's got to be this or this or this now it's like there's no everyone that everything's played out people are used to the same formats and so now it's just random what takes off and what doesn't you know yeah it's just you have to have a great idea yeah and you have to i don't even know what i'm saying but you know what i'm you know i'm talking about yeah that's a techcrunch article right there you know what i'm saying what you want to talk about that's a thought piece from me cody at techcrunch there is no formula anymore cody a techcrunch [Laughter] genre redefining the genre of uh gaming hold on one second multiplayer gaming i'm holding on all right um what was that that was a delivery out of it was it was someone sending me a gift that was [ __ ] that's what christmas is about you know receiving gifts oh yeah someone sent you a gift what someone sent you a gift someone sent me a gift i got shouldn't you open it on the bonus well it's getting delivered she said i could deliver it right now oh so it would still be a minute but it might come right now just open it [ __ ] it okay i'll get it i'll call them back and get it delivered right now asap and then i can open on on the bonus all right all right thanks for joining us everyone today for the free episode sorry sorry for all the interruptions but you know we're here and nothing will stop us and then [ __ ] everyone on reddit that thinks it will everyone already who thinks we don't have it we still have it despite going insane and despite sharing every aspect of our life for the last three years we still got it [Laughter] uh what so what wait why are people pissed let's do that let's just real quick i wanna i want you just to say it before we end this up i didn't dive too deep if i was just like they're not as funny as they used to me oh god forbid we have a few months but we're not as give us a [ __ ] break dude oh that's always that's always it's the same complaint every time the same complaint every time she's like dude we didn't we didn't just give up man people like they don't do that's cringe and we're trying new stuff it's literally there we have two episodes we have like six more planned we're trying new stuff yeah although i did find that video yeah that one video yeah exactly that one could be good you see the the [ __ ] the old guy the boomer in me is coming out right now well then why did you say we don't we as soon as we stop cleaning our own houses or whatever or do our own dishes or whatever oh that was just me joking that you need to be humble oh i see okay it's just you know why something i thought the criticism might have been they're losing their relatability um nah that's out the window i shaved my head immediately every people stopped relating to me okay save my head um he looks like the guy from prison break i don't like it grow it back yeah you're bald you're bald you're bald you're bald you're bald i'm talking but yeah i mean like i'm not i'm not mad i'm just letting you know give us a break dude no don't give us a break no you're right you're right keep being hard on us because yeah keeps us in shape and it does keep us humble i'm not i'm not actually mad at the fans i just am [ __ ] around but you know when when they're like they're not funny anymore i'm like [ __ ] i'm trying to be we'll show you funny no i take i take it as a challenge that's just me being competitive i'm competitive i look at that i'm like maybe maybe i'm not no i don't maybe it's up maybe it's gone maybe it's time for me to hang up the old gloves you know and just disappear mm-hmm that's so depressing yeah i have fantasies about that fantasies about hanging it up about just leaving like not like leaving my loved ones or whatever but i'm saying like just just just okay i'm gonna take a year break move to [ __ ] uh costa rica and just serve for a year oh yeah sometimes i wonder if if uh if we if we need to do that just to just to re-calibrate [Music] figure out what's important figure out what's actually funny yeah i actually i don't i don't know if that's good for you because anytime someone in entertainment does that [ __ ] they come back weird as [ __ ] that's true that's true i mean i guess we can go on the bonus now we should just pick up the bonus literally right here yeah yeah let's do it right now i see in the bonus hold on okay seen the bonus yes seeing the bonus but oh yeah oh yeah yeah seeing the bonus [ __ ] i'm not gonna promote anything [ __ ] it

Channel: Tiny Meat Gang

Views: 373,035

Rating: 4.9400363 out of 5

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Id: lYh8Fe1pe6E

Length: 70min 26sec (4226 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 24 2020