Episode 171 - Would NELK Post This?

what's up guys welcome to the tmg podcast this is actually today's episode today's free episode but if you want uh the bonus episode that went up today as well you can find that on our patreon that's patreon.com tinymeatgang and uh the the free episode will be ad free as well on there so uh and if not thanks and enjoy this one peace peace good morning everyone morning how are you i'm great welcome to tmg episode 171 wow that's a [ __ ] ton of episodes dude yeah it really is i rolled over and uh you know just before climbing into this seat i was in my bed listening to the sweet sounds of garth brooks oh were you you didn't you didn't hear him at the inauguration i didn't watch him i didn't watch that part how was it here inaugurate was it beautiful oh it was it was it was flat it was flat it was kind of flat like he did a bad job i feel bad for him it must have been windy up there like i feel like his tongue must have been in throws and he tried to he's doing amazing grace you go like gonna hit that me oh man zing great wait it was [ __ ] it was like this fall off on the second word and everything grace he wasn't hitting the word grace he could have hit the la or lie like me it wasn't it wasn't big and strong it was just oh and you're sitting there like an e it's e it's e flat e sharp flat i took some shot dude i took screenshots in the periscope when you're watching the periscope i mean it was on twitter i just clicked bro i was crying because it always cracks me up man periscope the the chat was uh locked because there are too many people spamming it so they had to slow it down and so i didn't see anything in the chat for a while and until this fool is ass wait ah that's funny that's funny clearly someone who doesn't know who garth brooks is either yeah like calling him this fool yeah is this rando that's the part that tripped me out who's bro rando garth got you know he got a little he's looking like dana white he's got he got a little thick i remember garth being skinnier really yeah let me look at it let me look at garth brook oh young garth brooks young also his name is garth i've never really processed that until today his name is garth oh he my boy is thick now yeah wow like before you know he was just my boy been eating this quarantine as have i my friend yeah respect so someone else dude he looks like alex jones man yeah that that's i was gonna say someone else said when he came out on stage i thought that was alex jones oh man and so he wasn't hitting it he wasn't on tonight oh the worst part he said he goes first of all he's holding the mic away like here you know yeah doing the singer [ __ ] all the way over here yeah and in my mind i said man put that [ __ ] right here you need as much as you can get don't do this you need it right here wait why because it would be worse it'd probably be better if it was further away no i think he needed as much anything a little distortion something to just help it why don't they tune it why don't they put throw a little autotune on there all right they should have they should have had the board option just threw a little sauce on there just a little like just give him like just a bump yeah just a little give him a little bump then he cuz you know garth is smart he would have heard that he would oh i got it now yeah yeah like me and he would have just then he would have gone on a [ __ ] run you know yeah he would have done one of those crazy vocal runs he isn't dude [Laughter] and so the worst part is he you know he's he's got it away then he says sing along with me even at home nobody sing along i wasn't anybody singing along i think beyonce is in the crowd and i think she looked down i think she said oh boy yeah she said oh garth and he's like he's like hey beyonce yeah i see you over there i'll see you over there i see you over there why don't you sing sing along come on let's just do an open mic like dead crowd comedian [ __ ] nine people in the crowd comedian said hey well we got a singer here come on sing along with me um come on i know you got it come on sing great come on come on come on she was like i just i i can't i can't hold on come on come on come on oh lady gaga i see you over there lady gaga come on stay with me come on come on he's like starting to get a little frustrating come on sing it amazing what the [ __ ] come on girls on an angry comedian tirade in the middle man [ __ ] this man i'm not gonna let you [ __ ] [ __ ] make me feel like i don't know what i do look i know i gained a little weight okay [Laughter] i might be thick but i'm not dumb you understand i might be thick i'm not dumb i've been doing this job a long time it's windy up here god damn it do you not see the [ __ ] gale force wins going on right now come on lady gaga sing it with me come on like amazing grace picking up senators and [ __ ] bernie you should be happy i'm up here singing and it's not you with your terrible ass voice flat [ __ ] chalky ass gizzard voice adam's apple get in the way of every note you produce from that [ __ ] thing should be happy i'm up here now come on now amazing come on come on come the [ __ ] on [Laughter] he just starts getting into the i knew the show was going to be [ __ ] i met that sound guy i knew something was wrong i knew his left ear was crooked i said i know he's going to [ __ ] this up and here we are throw some goddamn tune on my [ __ ] give me bro make it wet you dummy [Laughter] sing i sound like [ __ ] god damn it i sound like ass it's too many flags messing up the wind i can't i can't hit [ __ ] up here i'm [ __ ] nervous too i've been sweating all morning i had diarrhea for like three hours before this have my fans wear the red hat you know how crazy it is for me to be up here i'm alienating half my goddamn fan base and i'm turning the other half off because i'm sucking ass up here my agent was tearing into me before i came up here so your spotify numbers is eating [ __ ] i'm like what the [ __ ] you want me to do i had a live show in a year all i did is eat now come up here and find out i can't sing no more [ __ ] good guy though good guy for doing it all them goddamn raisinets give me gerd i can't sing no more it just [ __ ] my whole throat up raising that plug exactly random ass all these bounties i love a good bounty chocolate bar you ever had you ever eat those let me tell you something let me tell you something enjoys ain't [ __ ] almond joys aren't [ __ ] i've eaten 162 of them in the last month and i tell you they do stink i just need to confirm that for the rest of the world they do stink oh man feels like when i'm when i'm eating a bounty feels like i'm at a margaritaville [Laughter] the whole thing is just a big long tirade for him to go into his new single i can't sing i'm flat i'm thick and i'm defeated it's called flash yeah i wrote i wrote you a little song called flat and thick broom god damn it i'm flat and thick flat and thick [Laughter] some people listening to this right now hearing the words flat and thick and they say god damn it [ __ ] man yeah oh my god what's the what's the tick tock sound the dozer cat best friend dude that is a chorus i was listening to that the other day i was like god damn that is catchy wait did you see you saw that article about how um you know due to the economy so you good that's your flying fridge fridge started up freaking the [ __ ] out sort of fly in your studio [Laughter] so you saw that only fans article or the article about people you know women turn into only fans from during the pandemic yeah because they're they're struggling with their words and stuff like that and is that what it was about yeah and then women that had other jobs that started only fans yeah it was like for a supplemental income you know or like economy's tough so they're saying hey [ __ ] it i'm okay turn only fans people seem to make cash and you know there's one you know creator in the article who said she only made 500 and i had to i had to commend her boldness because you know the you know horrible like i me personally i would feel terrible if i started only fans just to find out i needed to get a job yeah yeah well you you only fans doesn't only fans seem really easy too i'm saying it's like every girl i follow that signs up the next day they post a screenshot is top 01 they're making 50 [ __ ] million dollars a year like all you gotta do is sign up this is money yeah that's what it seems like can you imagine starting only fans for yourself and you're like 72 dollars i mean yeah that's probably yeah i don't know wow suck that would suck ow it probably is harder than i am no it is dude bro sex work is not a [ __ ] game yeah i think only it's that's the part about that it makes it seem like it's fortnight like you just get on and you grind hours you're like dude that's it like you just i think if you already have an audience on something else it is it probably is just that you sign up and boom it's money yeah money yeah like guys sorry to interrupt but uh we just want to say happy new years from our sponsor manscaped all right manscape is the best in men's below the waist grooming offering precision engineered tools for your family jewels and is here to help you have clean balls in the new year ring in the new year with the right tools for the job manscaped is trusted by over 2 million men worldwide join the movement for all your below the waist grooming needs you know you get you know we're all get we're getting older we're getting hair you know where we used to not have hair it's important to uh take care of it all right yeah um happy 2021 by the way spoiler alert harry nutzer still foul okay step into the new year with the trees standing taller and shave your boys manscaped is here to give you a new year's resolution that you'll actually want to keep the perfect package 3.0 is the below the waist grooming package you need to start off strong this year inside the perfect package you'll 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] each other what do you think it is it's just jet ski videos like videos of them just cruising on jet skis all day is this cal it's just a place for khaled to post his jet ski videos but not worry about this his swim trunks coming down the top of his crack he's tired of being censored on instagram for the top of his crack show when he does his jet ski videos yeah i mean they just don't make shorts in the right size you know yeah you know it's not his bad it's not yeah he should be able to show a little crack on the internet you know snapchat keeps [ __ ] him they keep taking him off deleting his snaps the world needs to see his jet ski videos yeah okay people need to see cal it's crazy seriously though what is it do we know um what did what the [ __ ] was that some more yeah no i got to i found i found the world's last dinosaur and i just chained his ass to my to a bike rack i drilled a bike rack into my concrete backyard and i chained him up to it and then he's just angry he sounds angry yeah peter come and get this dinosaur luke do we know what fat joe's only fans is gonna be no yeah yeah pull it up i wanna see let's see because you know what's funny is i was uh i was doing research for another video and i went back and i was looking at um do you remember that kid we reacted to for that's cringe he was the kid on sixth street that used to like hit on girls named jack manley yeah remember that and i went back to history because i'm like i was watching newer content like there's a lot of content like that on tick tock people like do tons of main on the street content yeah yeah 90 is just [ __ ] garbage would you let me [ __ ] you in your in your butt for yeah yes exactly like what's your body count and they say something then they go like the reaction every single time is oh that's that's what they do they turn to the camera they go what and uh anyways i go to jack manley's twitter and he's got like an exclusive content link or whatever and he's got an only fans oh nice and then do you remember that dude nerd baller nerd baller let me let me let me look him up maybe if i see him he is the guy he also did [ __ ] on 6th street but he was like same sort of thing oh yeah this dude how much money to see your titties but then the money was fake yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah he has a patreon he makes 50k a month doing like porn basically now of a girl's like just flashing so they're just doing girls going wild yes pretty much but i i so that that okay i see a use case for only fans there but what the [ __ ] is fat joe and dj khaled going to do it okay it says here it says welcome to the this is the description for their only fans welcome to the light the page for fans to get exclusive motivational and inspirational content where we will be guiding fans to the light while sharing uplifting insights and behind the scenes of our personal lives so it's just a this is like claire from yeah so it's a blog yeah basically just a gratitude journaling blog it's a vlog but there's already a like someone already did this let's do tony robbins yeah then i've already got this figured out and it's 20 bucks a month damn man yeah we should definitely subscribe on the company car to see what the [ __ ] this is we should do it we should do it yeah we should do it can you do it right now we'll talk about something else and we'll then we'll when we won't back maybe like we edit out the content you know what i mean like we don't show oh we can't because we'll get dinged for copyright we can talk about the content so don't share your screen yeah yeah or share your screen but we won't edit it in right okay okay exactly um but here's a little now this podcast is four guys on the computer not just two it's a lan party it's a lan party baby but we can talk about this in the meantime so last last episode we talked about sweetwater customer service for about an hour yeah we did no not an hour 10 minutes about 10 minutes and we talked about how they're the most um what would you say friendly overly friendly too invasive they're just most attentive most attentive yeah literally just you know texting my phone dming spock on instagram the thirstiest customer service yeah the loneliest customer so i can keep going yeah please please do anyway good so the guy the guy that i was talking about this is so funny dude his n i'm not gonna say his name i'm not gonna say his name right let's call him um alan excuse me so change the name every time so so david yeah so the episode goes live on the episode went live friday morning right yeah probably around 9 30 10 a.m yeah okay so then he texted me at 10 39 a.m and said hey cody heard the newest podcast this morning seriously funny stuff as always keep up the good work man oh and my banana pancakes are fire for the record just an fyi this is for real this is for real this is actually him he texted me that he heard it within 20 minutes and texted me that and then i said ha ha ha glad you liked it we'll cop some more gear from you guys soon right because it's so bad that out i taught what do you mean we'll cops morgan you hit you text him like the plug oh yeah yeah yeah thank you bro yeah yeah i'll hit you soon man i'm gonna cop some gears soon just had to let them know flex exactly right now i'ma come through and blow a bag man don't worry i got you man i just yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna spend a lot of money with you pretty soon this is basically what i'm saying right i'm like listen thanks for taking my [ __ ] i know i talked about you i exposed you and you're cool about it so we're gonna buy some gear pretty soon we're setting up a new studio we're gonna buy some gear right and then i get a text back an automated text bag that says sorry alan is currently unavailable if you would like to receive a call to speak with another sales engineer reply call thank you sweetwater this guy [ __ ] curved me yeah what the nerve dude [ __ ] thirsty ass you did a whole podcast about him then you double texted him and [ __ ] left on red i mean it's humiliating i can't believe i even just admitted that on the podcast it's like i feel like a [ __ ] get owned man sucks man i got [ __ ] curved by my sales rep and here well he's you know he's playing games though because he's making me think that he's interested right he's hitting me all the time barely text him look at this yeah well done he pulled it it's a game with his him and his bros though it's him and lewis are laughing at you he turned louis he's like look at this [ __ ] orc double texting me [Laughter] look at this goblin trying to get back at me look at this [ __ ] yo what's up shrek like an ugly ass look at this four texts right here in a row that i didn't respond to right that's what you get bro long con oh man that's so funny hey cody sam placed an order over here and said you sent him our way thanks man i usually like to send a t-shirt as a gift as a thank you gift if you want one this is the kind of service that they that they're about at sweetwater which mostly i'm super down with but it's when they're you know it's when they [ __ ] ice me that's when i get pissed i ordered some [ __ ] back in october and they sent me candy yeah me too yeah a little bag of candy yeah and i was just thinking it would be so dope if they could still if they could issue like a bag of drugs based on the type of gear you you own like if their customer service went to that level like if you order like a midi controller and like a condenser microphone and they're like ah he's a rapper sent up some weed yeah yeah okay order like guitar strings and some other [ __ ] they send you just like a like a row of tabs of acid just four little stamps 70s style hey good luck on the creative endeavors we thought this might help us know if you make any sweet tunes with your sweet water products and if you order let's think i don't know oh if you order like any kind of like um like a cultural drum that's played with your hands but your name is like [ __ ] super american like john um they send you like ayahuasca yeah yeah i was going to say one of those like flute things you know it's like a long flute and then a shorter flute and then a shorter one what are the pen pipe pen pipe yeah holy [ __ ] dude what maybe they send you some mushrooms if you order a hand pipe where do pen pipes originate from man uh wait pant what the hell pam pipe origin okay the pan flute or pan pipes was a musical instrument first used in segunda [ __ ] off [ __ ] you dude no you almost asked you all oh no i know i didn't as soon as i heard that right you said you said the [ __ ] off you almost said no that was it no wasn't even close wasn't even close you weren't even close to getting me dude you saw my defense systems go off i've been working on that trust me dude i've been training [Laughter] strengthening my systems reaction time in the gym segundo no no no yeah you said the yes i heard you say that yeah it is you train a little harder a little faster no the pen pipes are greek first using in greece what do what um what kind of drugs do they do in greece let's find out in greece they do uh they're doing coke that's what they're doing [ __ ] ketamine that's what they're doing yeah no that that would be something from like uh north uk or something right what ketamine yeah oh as of 2019 the two primary drugs in greece are heroin and marijuana holy damn okay i mean the same with the states yeah so you know yeah oh man segunda oh that's funny you [ __ ] [Laughter] watch the sweetwater guy get me hold on sorry i'm just texting noah's bagels more like noah's bagel you see these nuts in your face nice bagely season that's in your head sorry go ahead no i just have to i gotta um i gotta touch on the food thing listen i'm aware that i have inspired an angry mob of people related to my eating so you know just wanna say i'm sorry but as a little gesture of my appreciation for your continued listening i've brought a bag of unsalted cashews today and right around 30 minutes i'm just gonna start eating them why i'm joking just i'm starting to think of the noisiest [ __ ] i had come [ __ ] piss anyway what were you about to say go ahead uh the only fans is ready let's see what it let's see let's dive into the light let's see what the light is all about let's see it okay all right if we do a highlight clip from this we gotta name it like we subscribe to dj khaled and fat joe's only fan so you didn't have to classic yeah oh [ __ ] we paid what we paid 20 bucks for one video all right all right what do you think we've we've now gone through their entire fans there's definitely balls okay this ball is for sure balls involved nice nice all right how many two exactly there are two balls involved with the basketball and fat joe's head yeah no they had two different they used two different basketballs okay yeah so the so we spent about two two minutes going through their their whole only fans there's one post right now and it's a trailer for their basketball game that they're gonna play against each other one on one and it's only on only fans what the [ __ ] that's it like you think if you're starting a [ __ ] only fans you'd spend a little time beefing it up with some content like even just pictures of you sitting around like something have something there so that when people pay 20 bucks they're not like oh that's that's it yeah we just got a little bit scammed yeah that's so strange man although that being said i kind of am excited to watch the basketball game i just don't know who's waiting who's been waiting to see this rematch they they say it's a rematch i don't even know it's the first one yeah like when did the first one what's the first one on is that on youtube or something let's see khalid vs fat joe basketball i'm not seeing yeah i'm not seeing anything no you don't see anything maybe maybe they did it on snapchat or something like that maybe it was an exclusive okay august 21st this is on facebook it's just it's just what we just saw this is them playing basketball on what on youtube on facebook on facebook okay exactly and how many views how many views does have this is a hip-hop column site uh okay damn bro so you telling me they're making people pay twenty dollars for free content like this is the loop let's see let's see the facebook video here here he's got it he's got it i will link it amazing please [ __ ] okay so this is from august of this year last year last year sorry last year forgot it's 20 21. some tune some boy i make tuna go pop my lockers make soon i go pop natural pop in your bum buckle up okay that was it that's it it's just it's replaying now what the [ __ ] popping a boomba cloud what the [ __ ] i mean he's trying to speak you know he's doing the that's why yeah he's in the chat he's doing the chat hanks no chet hanks is better at it than him i mean look i just what this is the worst thing to bring to only fans a basketball one-on-one the funniest thing is they use that footage they just re-cut it and put music behind it yeah it's the exact same thing we got we got scammed brother how many people you think signed up for that two two people just me and you oh my god it's like to think we could use that money to buy something better gear from sweetwater from sweetwater hey guys we want to uh take a quick break to thank the sponsor of this episode which is world series of poker which is very weird because we talk about poker a lot uh in the bonus i believe and didn't even realize this was a sponsor so yeah this is not not affiliated with our later conversations but while we're speaking about world series of poker have you ever watched the world series of poker on tv and dreams of winning big like the pros the official world series of poker applets you play real-time poker with poker fans all around the world yeah you can hone your hold'em skills and virtual cash games and tournaments playing casino mode to go up against the house or connect your facebook account set up a virtual table with your friends i've played a ton of world series of poker on facebook i've had many of you know victories on facebook i've seen many people packing on facebook let me tell you that right now so the world series of poker app though is a great way to improve your poker skills and it's free to download it's the number one free poker game and and as such world series of poker always has tons of players online to match up against whenever you want to play best of all you can get 1 million chips as a bonus gift when you join today so what's the hold up [Laughter] download the world series what's the hold'em download the world series of poker app in the apple store or on google play and amazon now don't forget to use the promo code wsop tmg for 1 million bonus chips when you sign up that's a million bonus chips when you download the world series of poker app and use our promo code wsop tmg dude i'm i'm just you know i'm just taking back like they're they're not even they're not even playing the game but it's not like there are naked cheerleaders you know what i mean yeah it's just it's not like there's like virgin basketball pg two big boys playing ball which is maybe is a like obscure fetish yeah maybe yeah the same way tiger capitalized on his like old leaked nudes maybe their management said hey guys that video of you guys playing basketball it sparked a whole new subculture yeah and it is growing i don't know what it is but i've seen there's a subreddit now it's wild there's a there's a tick-tock community i mean it's going up triple b big boy ball and if we could just get the two of you to pave the way because then we start getting another then we can start involving other big boys playing the game okay we can get rod wave get a three-way game of you the three of you versus garth brooks versus khaled and garth here's the catch it's every man for themself yeah okay yeah so it's it's like a regular high school junior high school game four of you fighting for one ball um i was gonna do numbers i'll tell you what um yeah that's just that's hilarious sorry i just had a at a flash memory of bill in the audience today bill clinton that dude he looks like the doomer meme like the doomer wojack like with the eyes just okay completely sucked that guy didn't have eyeballs like he was just he was gonna cry because he's old no it's just his eyes have sunken so far into his head because he's old he's like old as [ __ ] now isn't he let's see he's 80 something bill clinton is 74 he's younger than joe 74. what the [ __ ] younger than joe damn never mind i thought he looked bad dude i just saw a mask nose and eyebrow but no pupil it was straight up just shadow his eyes it was crazy dang anyway um okay so here a little update on the army hammer [ __ ] okay update yeah this [ __ ] i know you were last week you're reluctant yeah well because you know it well and here's the thing we recorded it it literally like we had finished recording and then all that other [ __ ] had come out that day pretty much i wouldn't look at my phone i said oh man we just a little too ahead you friday friday yeah we were driving and kelsey was like oh my god i can't wait to tell you about all the other [ __ ] that happened so like they found someone someone exp i guess someone's followed a fence to account of his that he was posting on but like no holds barred like he was just going for it like which just post his life and i think someone that followed it like exposed them and and sold all the videos and [ __ ] like that to some like tabloid but basically there's like he was like he's just going crazy man he's smoking dmt on this thing on this finsta he um what else did he do hold on damn sweet water what sweet water hooked his ass up thank you sweetwater for this sweet dmt i am smoking in the cayman islands thank you also for this universal audio apollo duo you've sent me bro he's doing his own version of the zuck video but it's like humans and i'm just here smoking these meats oh you're saying that we're joking about that exact same thing i mean you're smoking this human meat here uh human ribs i got on the green egg here tasty traeger i have a uh that's a piece of human sirloin it's actually a bus driver's thigh on the green egg okay so video revealed army hammer's instagram post professing his love of sexy barbecue meat sexy barbecue meat as one hollywood publicist says everyone assumed he was in an open marriage army hammer showed off a lingerie-clad woman waiting for him on a hotel bed apparently in the cayman islands so in this video he like is in the cayman islands which i guess his wife lives there now and his kids live with his wife and so he was there to see his kids or something like that and he was like complaining he was like i want to go back to the [ __ ] cayman islands but i guess as a perk i get to [ __ ] miss cayman again and so this video that's miss cayman which apparently it's not her it's some girl that joined the pageant twice and didn't get close to winning or something like that what does a man hold on why do they have to just like [ __ ] on this all she did was [ __ ] army hammer she didn't she didn't know what she was involved with you know such a shitty thing by the way and by the way it goes deeper than that it goes deeper than that i don't know there was some then there was some po uh someone there's some instagram account that does like celebrity god i don't know i'm getting too deep on the celeb gossip it's just you're right it's not about i don't know it just feels like a petty thing to add in there and by the way she wasn't miss caiman it's just like i just like pictured tucker carlson getting pissed by the way she wasn't miss caiman she wasn't just came in at all well i mean i was a regular girl maybe imagine twice and didn't win maybe it's a testament to the things like him his his uh ability to lie or fabricate things or maybe that's why i included it right i see and i don't know apparently it goes deeper than that there's some weird [ __ ] with this girl too if you know the details leave them in the comments i don't really know them so i'm not not at liberty to talk about it anyways so he does this video of him in the cayman islands where he is like in the hotel he's like i had to switch my room he's staying at the ritz or something like that and he's like i had to switch rooms check out my new room here here's the door here's the closet here's the uh standard bathroom and then here is the beds and he like pans by the bed and there's this woman on all fours on her hands and knees and lingerie and her ass is like bright red and he just like pans by it and he's like it's a pretty sweet room and he posted that on his finster this man hasn't lost it like completely lost it and then luke do you have the video of him smoking that dmt or or the video of him where it's like the caption says um when you find out dmt doesn't show it doesn't show up on drug tests he has to get drug tested to see his kids i don't i'm sorry i'm stuck on the fact that i don't even think nelk would post something like that yeah a woman with a bright red spanked ass yeah that's kind of that's like a good i think that's like a decent test of you know if not like would nelk post this and if it's no you probably got something offensive that's true that's a good that's a good bar i like that but you know would knock post this would nelk post this yeah that's the level of like you know the the basically the give a [ __ ] chart yeah because nels is on ten or the yeah yeah exactly ten of not give not giving a [ __ ] chart is what i mean yeah how much did you not give a [ __ ] about what you're posting i didn't mention to say now cause on 11. yeah i think nell cause like over the line yeah so would nelk post this nah okay then don't post it definitely leave yeah yeah i don't even know then i think if nel cause nelk has their own only fan so it's like if nelk won't post it on their only fans or regular you probably have something like that has the interest of like federal employees yeah yeah that's fair hey man what are you doing over there oh it's just i uh i miss cayman in my cool room anyway wait a minute that's not miss cayman she joined the pageant twice and didn't even get close to your [ __ ] liar hey play that video of his crazy face i gotta see this yeah you're gonna like this one this dude is a nutcase this is great whoa all right when you realize they don't test for dmt on drug tests oh what a psycho brother bro that face yeah yeah him and conor murphy are smoking the same [ __ ] oh yeah dude yeah and then and then his wife came out and said that he she did an interview with page six and said that he used to talk about like wanting to barbecue her ribs and stuff like that but um uh and then she just like thought it was weird and then they never talked about it again but um so that's another little uh you know can you imagine being her you're married to this actor you think you know him and then one day he's like you look good today let's barbecue your ribs just like and he just never brings it up again i'd love to cook up a piece of your ass sorry go ahead i'd love to cut off your feet and barbecue them and then let little army have a go little perv little freak little [ __ ] pervert our son's a sick [ __ ] you know that he gets that from you how fast are you divorcing if your significant other says they want to barbecue your ribs well that's what i mean is like in that context someone saying that randomly you'd be like oh that was just like a weird thing people say weird [ __ ] all the time by accident you know just humans it's like i would just i would just chalk that up to like oh that maybe he didn't it came out differently than he meant it maybe he just meant it as a cute thing like he wants to munch on my stomach or something like that you know i wouldn't think like he literally wants to barbecue my rib meat and eat it and let the blood stream down his face which is probably what he wants to do i know this just gonna end up on some twitter account you know i want a man who loves me so much that he's willing to eat me i want you know what i mean like what do you mean i know there's just you know in a few years we're gonna at some point we're gonna see this an unironic like i want a cannibal boyfriend i know it's out there yeah i know it's out there yeah yeah it's like one of those things dm's are probably filled with just eat my ribs i'll be your little mcrib [Laughter] ladies and gentlemen the mcrib is back human carcass gosh you know he's he you know he's hitting mcdonald's every day for the like just because it's called the mcrib yeah he gets close to something that he wants to actually wants to eat yeah he buys it and then like you know he [ __ ] chucks that bread out the window hucks it and just spreads the mcrib sauce all over his hands and like his face psycho oh back for a limited time it's only back for a limited time i said this yesterday but he got way too into that sorry to bother you rolling man it's it's it's crazy how that's exactly who he not exactly but basically who he is yeah yeah that that that part of that [ __ ] scarred me man i blocked that man blocked that movie out of my memory i loved that movie i thought it was so good oh my god dude i'm turning into horses that scared the [ __ ] out of me [Laughter] i'm sorry what it's just a funny funny sentence turning into horses oh that scared the [ __ ] out of me i don't know horses scare the [ __ ] out of me man guys we want to uh quickly interrupt to thank the sponsor of this episode expressvpn uh did you know that with expressvpn you can unlock movies and shows that are only available in other countries that's right you just open it up you hit a server you know you connect to a server and wherever and then you get access to their netflix or whatever content is uh only available there you know i talked a lot of anime so that's how i get that we also used to watch a lot a lot of love island doing that that's true i did expressvpn unless you change online location so you can control where you want sites to think you're located you just open the app select the location tap one button to connect and refresh the page and access thousands of new shows movies this works for any streaming service hulu bbc iplayer even youtube why choose expressvpn over other vpns you can stream in hd no problem no buffering or lag it's compatible with all your devices phones laptops media consoles smart tvs and more and not only does it let you change your location it also encrypts your data and lets you surf the web safely and anonymously wow go to expressvpn.com tmg to get an extra three months of expressvpn for free expressvpn.com tmg guys you want to quickly interrupt to thank keeps the sponsor of this episode as guys so much of our identity is wrapped up in our 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out why keeps has more five star reviews than any of its competitors and more than a hundred thousand men trust keeps for their hair loss prevention medication keeps treatments just are excuse me start at just ten dollars a month plus for a limited time you can get the first month free you're ready to take action to and prevent hair loss go to keeps.com tmg get your first month of treatment free that's k-e-e-p-s dot com slash tmg you remember in the ring that that see the scariest part of the ring for me was the scene of the horse running down the deck of the boat do you remember that one just runs and then jumps into the water from the ring that scarred me [Laughter] i don't know why a horse running it was like overhead shot of this horse just galloping at full speed down the deck of this ferry and then it jumps off i'm pretty sure and that like stay has stayed with me for years the [ __ ] i know i hate horses though i'm alert i'm finding out something new yeah i'm allergic to them i can't even get within 20 feet of a horse or i start like like my body stops like functioning normally like i just started like i just oh my god it's awful i started like melting down and just mucus everywhere such a weird turn i hate horses i hate horses i'm allergic to them this melt is ruined my life i [ __ ] hate them i do oh my god all right there's one time i told you there's probably a summer camp we were doing horseback riding one day and i just was like dreading it because i was like i [ __ ] hate these animals i don't get anywhere near them i just hate it but i had to do it because the alternative was something stupid like canoeing i didn't want to do that either so i got on the horse and i'm in the back of the line of horses yeah and my horse stops to eat something like a shrub or i don't know something stupid right yeah it's grass or whatever you've seen grass before even [ __ ] horse yeah you know and all the other horses keep going because they're not stupid and my horse is sitting there eating this thing and i'm like come on i'm trying to get it to go and i'm like kicking it or doing it whatever and it's not going and it's just eating this thing and i'm like come on like they're in the distance now i'm getting freaked out because i'm like what if i just get left here and then all of a sudden my horse snaps back into it sees sees the other horse takes off full gallop to the back of the line nitrous so i'm sitting there like right i just nailed the back of my head so hard but isn't a full gallop i've never ridden a horse before so i'm like trying just to not fall off i'm trying like i'm like i'm scared for my life at this point i'm like just bouncing up and down and uh i don't fall off luckily i was able to hold on barely i was almost about to fall off and like break my neck and i get to the back of the line and the horse stops and i just started crying just bawling my eyes out like bawling it's like one of the hardest i've ever cried so welcome to therapy bro maybe that's why that was cody's first therapy session it was scary dude i hate horses i knew holy [ __ ] [ __ ] dude i'm crying if you couldn't see already god damn i don't even know how we got on that but that's easily the funniest that's one of the funniest things that ever happened on this podcast [Laughter] holy [ __ ] i want to know though if you like horses what is it that you like about them [Laughter] they're [ __ ] awful big and just you know when people go up and pet their nose feed an apple it's gross i've never i've never understood the uh willingness to pet like a horse skull that [ __ ] freaks me out yeah you know what i mean yeah just like the yeah like when they like go up and they're just grabbing it i'm like what are you doing man yeah this animal feels like wild [ __ ] yeah like it's like like wars so many wars have been done on this animal bro yeah don't touch it like that yeah like it's a [ __ ] dog don't do that one move you're dead yeah yeah horses have always freaked me the [ __ ] out when we shot boom dude we shot super zan i had like zoned out and i stepped behind that horse and i had this moment where i was like oh my god why the [ __ ] did i do that do you remember how scared i was when we were filming with that [ __ ] thing oh yeah i it was just being near it i was like i just it would like you know it would start to get a little frustrated from just standing there and it would like just move a little bit and i would like freak out yeah damn i completely forgot about that yeah hilarious that we we didn't or i didn't even think to get anything to tie the horse to made that trainer girl just stand there oh she was mad hardly what a day what a day he did that video for three thousand dollars that video was 3k or 3 500. oh my god tom who ended up being the dp on walkman he was the gaffer that day and he gaffed that whole thing by himself wow he was [ __ ] pissed by the end of the champions league absolute champion tom tom yeah we appreciate you shout out to you tom he he always he always answered my calls back he didn't he didn't shut me down after that so kyle said cody and noel do horseback riding yeah i was gonna say [ __ ] no dude what's your what do you not like what's your fear skydiving or something yeah [ __ ] skydiving man so maybe that's what we'll do i'll ride a horse and you can go skydiving [ __ ] i don't maybe i could do it i don't know it does i'm kind of the same actually it scares me a little bit but i would do it i went to do it one time but i didn't get to do it yeah i just got freaked out because elena and i were supposed to go and it got cancelled like four or five times in a row it was it was some number that went over like like god's telling us not to do this yeah we're like nah man i was about to do some [ __ ] to bring the mood down but i'm not gonna do it okay no why don't we do why don't we do um producer surprise for the last 10 minutes of this podcast we want to do a new segment where uh you know they pick out tick tocks and we watch them yeah the producer surprise the producer surprise what well this is gonna set up for those when we're in the new studio the producer's surprise is going to evolve yes it could be a pair of horse nuts it's just all horse tickets this is horseshit cody's like ah i know why luke and kyle i'll give you permission when we're in the new studio to just put a horse in the studio one day and you know just as a surprise quit the podcast oh hell no [Laughter] all right show us what do you got show us your yes give us something let's see some funny are these funny or what are they you can see what the topics are the first one's from kyle just says surfing okay i love these vague descriptions oh is this one of the jets oh no yeah if you don't mind just taking them with you once and we're supposed to go surfing together but like i said i never got to learn and he died oh dude that's oh my [ __ ] god man shout out to creations ross man that guy is so [ __ ] funny beans in the car he's the dude who did the beans in the car oh my god the beans and the spaghettios holy the guy is genius man shout out ross creations what these are the best pranks like when they're smart like this yeah this is so smart because that kid like felt like he owed this guy something did you take my dad with you man [Laughter] go dad that dude is out there balancing a [ __ ] urn just trying to paddle through this awful whitewash oh my god that's so funny look at this look at the frame right there like the wince like from his face he's like what huh oh damn it that's so good what else we got all right what's this one typical hat racist so i'm not 100 certain if it's racist as a white man i don't know if i can really speak on that but i do know it's livestock when i was a kid my grandpa used to buy and sell sheep he didn't raise the sheep he just would buy and sell him he's more like a drug dealer for sheep he would always go something like want some sheep yep and then we would tell the machine but one time there was this guy that just bought one sheep and while we were trying to unload the sheep from the truck he kept flicking the broom of his hat like you were doing and it was so [ __ ] weird the guy was the weirdest person i ever met and we drove away i was like grandpa why'd that guy keep looking at you and flick flicking the brim of his hat like that he goes well what you're going to find out is in the country there's some guys who like to [ __ ] sheep if you're delivering a sheep and the guy flicks the broom of his hat like that he's asking you if you want to [ __ ] the sheep with him so i'm not saying you're racist but what i'm saying is every time i see one of you [ __ ] idiots doing that i feel like you're asking me if i want to run an eiffel tower on a sheep and i don't it makes me uncomfortable i'd appreciate it if you stop asking me you do with that information what you need to that so the beginning which you didn't hear he said how is flicking a hat racist yeah what a weird piece of knowledge i'm blown away by that is that real or was he just saying that to basically call the guy a sheep [ __ ] i mean i just feel so elaborate yeah i can't yeah it's like too crazy to make up it's so specific that's why i'm like i kind of want you know i know there's i know we got one person you know who's like family is like a lineage of tractor pullers and they can go ah yeah yeah we got a ghost seller in our family and i tell you that little you [ __ ] that sheep a little perv that guy little freak little army hammer with the sheep nasty man oh sheep oh sheep no no no no no no no no no no no no all right let's see the next one what do we got ah producer surprise you don't skate all right oh i love this one also how how like unsatisfying is that yeah doesn't that like hit that part of your brain that's like just [ __ ] put it on the ground and skate on it yeah it just run with it by the way this is the move it reminds me of our song that we used to do on stage oh yeah yeah called yeah just yeah we had a song i don't know did we ever play it for the podcast i feel like we did maybe we didn't we tried to do this like meta thing where we would like say yeah we got a new song and it just sounded like we just say yeah like multiple times like like we're about to like spit yeah we just never say anything but i think the problem with that live is i think people were just so hyped that we might have done it that no one got the joke i think it takes like choreography or something you know yeah we store we sort of started doing that at the end where we come together and be like and then start like walking away again i think it could still work i think it just needed to go longer yeah it was like six minutes a bunch is going yes that's what i'm talking about that's what i'm talking about yeah no hold on i'm i'm getting it i'm getting there let's go [ __ ] sound like [ __ ] up here god damn it come on lady come could you help me beyonce don't look away don't look away don't look away i see you there beyonce i see you can't you can't just put up your hand come on now don't look away all right let's wait let's listen um what else well actually i think we got some time because of the uh yeah we do a few more do a couple more okay i did not think that i was old and i had absolutely no issue with my age and then i saw a video earlier this week on tech talk of this girl who was like only the younger generation will understand this and the caption was two thousands babies don't [ __ ] do that to me i don't need a [ __ ] quarter life crisis right now yeah my hair is damaged and it's in a side part but i don't know what a mortgage is you don't either what do you want me to do shake some ass i'll throw some ass that was horrible anyways proof is in the pudding i'm bringing sprung ow um anyways i was like you know what lauren i'm confident i don't need this um you're not old it's fine and then i saw this video on tick tock of this girl that i like have a crush on she's super pretty super funny whatever and i was like oh my god she posted a tech talk and the tech talk was like if you use the crying laugh emoji this one the one i use all the [ __ ] time uh she was like if you use the crying laugh emoji you're too old for me and i was like this is a joke so i went to the comments and everyone was like i would rather [ __ ] die than speak to someone who uses the crying laugh i will hurl myself through a window is that what you [ __ ] want i am 25. you see this is a problem with these with these ones it's when people are complaining about people complaining about the younger generation and they're still younger than us you know what i'm saying yeah i mean like half of tick tock now is people complaining about the fact that people that are born in 2000 are 21 now and they're 25. it's like you're still you're the exact same age yeah i just think what's hashtag lgbtq what what does that have to do with anything i don't know um nah i think what's you know i feel bad for laura steele here because you should have known that the crying laugh emoji was like boomer [ __ ] crying laugh emoji went transcended to meta in like 2014. yeah it was already like an ironic yeah it it started getting [ __ ] up when people started baking it into their like instagram they're like instagram captions that are baked into the video yeah like when they used to the white bars yeah yeah that's when the crying laughing emoji died yeah that's when it stops meaning what it means what it's supposed to mean it was intended to mean like oh man laura steele if you see this um you need to head over to old head memes on on instagram and see that literally every post uses a crying laugh emoji i'm sorry to break it to you all right we got one more let's do one more whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa waif what in the what the [ __ ] is this wait is there music or don't forget to sparkle and shine today and remember if anyone tries to dull your sparkle they're just jealous what i can't tell if she's 70 or seven or 77. yeah she hashtagged she hashtagged it bimbo tick tock what the [ __ ] it's bimbo tick-tock yo that's so funny man people oh man bimbo that's that's a [ __ ] boomerass word right there bimbo bimbo was like that was that was um the political term for ho yeah like 30 years ago yeah that was hussy too yeah us no i think people oh yeah hussy yeah hussy's old yeah bruh oh my god it's so funny to be on tick tock to be like a proud like bimbo that was such a dis back in the day you [ __ ] bimbo this is these are the this is how she hashtagged it hashtag chanel addict you should know hashtag accountant hashtag bimbo tiktok gucci gang barbie betch block out the noise barbie [ __ ] that's [ __ ] sick that she threw accountant in there randomly yeah just yeah yeah by the way i do have a job but i'm also a [ __ ] [ __ ] glitter paris ginger look go go to her whole page is that the whole page it's like glitter shine positivity post oh yeah oh lord this is oh my god oh we gotta yeah now we won't we will you know we don't know what's going on here but yeah chanel west coast and glitter glitter paris ginger about to have their own celebrity boxing match oh man you see jose canseco jose canseco is fighting a barstool intern in their like bar stool fighting a rough and rowdy thing why does he do this i think jose canseco fought for a short minute like oh why the [ __ ] i don't know also in the bonus we gotta talk about the um the fight yeah max holloway fight oh yeah okay i mean we could start whenever yeah let's switch over uh thank you everyone for listening to today's episode hope you liked the producer surprise i actually really enjoyed that those were [ __ ] five great tick tocks yeah and um and thank you guys we'll see you guys later oh yeah yeah you uh come with the bonus because i'm about to pull up this [ __ ] old pride fight of jose canseco versus hangman choi oh my goodness we are in for a treat all right here we go thanks guys bye

Channel: TMG Studios

Views: 215,096

Keywords: Armie Hammer, NELK, TikTok, DJ Khaled, Fat Joe, OnlyFans, President, Biden, Garth Brooks

Id: EI0CBJGTW0k

Length: 67min 34sec (4054 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 21 2021