Episode 183 - Candice

bro have you seen this guy that deals ufos ufo isn't it no no that's where seriously i swear to swear dude look this guy is a he's a self-proclaimed ufo dealer look at that let's see oh my gosh yeah crazy right this is insane i know you see that one that's kind of like it's kind of like junk but it's kind of cool it's kind of a beater but it's a good price yeah that's like your like space commuter you know yeah wow i mean we could put we could cop that yeah we should i think we should get it you think we should cop it yeah okay let's go [Applause] what's up guys this is the tmg podcast this is today's free episode if you want this episode ad free and an extra bonus episode you can find that right now on our patreon.com [Music] you're not the army air forces has announced that a flying disc has been found and is now in the possession of the army [Music] [Music] flashing your seatbelt and get ready for debate [Music] wow whoa whoa whoa that was dramatic that was a really dream i mean it was it was weird it was horrific did you see anything when you like you went up no it was just kind of like a like a well i did see something it was like a wormhole you know like a cartoon cartoon wormhole yeah all like blacks and white stripes and she like closed my eyes i'm such a [ __ ] you're such a wuss dude [Laughter] this is weird this is weird now if you're watching if you're listening if you're just listening right now i highly suggest you cut over to youtube yeah to see what we're talking about yeah because we're we are now what the [ __ ] was that luke's here oh oh dude right through that glass you see they're both here oh yeah holy [ __ ] you guys got beamed up too yeah what wasn't it for him maybe it was terrifying i mean i it wasn't really terrifying because i closed my eyes you know as soon as it started happening i was like nope [Laughter] no no no no no no no no no i don't want to go i don't want to go but we are floating above earth right now yeah if you're listening on audio you should you know you should definitely look cloud over the video because we i guess we have a ufo that was really weird we just we just put in a paypal contact and we went up right away so it was paypal it wasn't cash app no okay now we did paypal okay just because you know i think you know something is a dogecoin yeah i mean we used we had to use a lot to get this thing it's not like we just ran you know but that was like the last thing we we offered right right right paypal yeah yeah and we just went straight up and now we're here that's the weird part is when you buy a ufo it's already i didn't know it was already in orbit like it already launched yeah it was waiting for two people to cop and then it just yeah beams you up right away which kind of a little bit weird i had some stuff to tie up back at home but yeah i guess we don't have to worry about that [ __ ] now because we're in space yeah we're i think we're just i think we're kind of done with back home for a little while i mean we can go back but for the most part i think we'll just observe from up here you'll just be chilling yeah yeah that's fair it was because you know i mean there's so much down there that is just frustrating like what well you know joe took our logo right that is one thing that is extremely annoying i mean we already had one minor podcast beef right we've been to the if you've been listening to the show for a while we beefing with sophia with an f for a little bit but you know what we don't we don't have any no there's no reservations there's no we don't hold any grudges here but now a week before you know we board our beautiful ship here yeah joe rogan debuts a new set that he built yeah in austin yeah and his logo is a ufo yeah but you know the thing that people don't realize that we've just learned about ufos is uh there's so many there's so many different kinds so many different dealers for them i mean we we straight up we have a ufo dealer now which is so weird we have a ufo guy yeah they just have a ufo neon sign guy yeah you know i i don't even know if they even make those models any anymore you know not that i'm shaming right you know not that it's just like if you're gonna use the ufo and you're like one of the biggest podcasts out there you should probably have like you know the ferrari of ufos right right so you're you are ufo shaming just you know i'm just suggesting you know right because we're not we don't even hold a candle to his show and i'm right we at least got you know something about the real thing yeah we got the yeah we got the real ship still so it's still a little bit of work to be done on this ship it's a little it's not a fixer-upper but it's a little bit it needs a little bit of uh love a little bit of love um and so we're gonna do that you know over the next well a couple months this ship is gonna evolve and but we're i mean i'm happy with it it looks fantastic no i like it a lot it's got you know it's a good vibe in here ultima what yeah i don't know what that is oh it's alt in my mouth nice thanks nice gotcha got him we got one wow you know what's crazy the name of this ship is candace is it yeah which i thought was really fitting that is that's a perfect name actually matter of fact i feel like candace isn't even a ufo right she's a uvo what's that unidentified vibing object okay i like that which could also double you know it's like that could be your vibrator but you know i'm picturing a little ship in space not moving around but just vibrating violently and space travel is not perfect man so we found that out immediately it's cold in here it is cold shall we wait you got a little you got a thing right there what oh what yeah this came with these hoodies oh [ __ ] and a can of liquid death i didn't even notice that damn wait liquid death mountain spring water yeah holy heck already on the ship how about that is it murdering your thirst completely murdering my thirst yo so wait the name of the ship is candace candace yeah can this podcast go to space just dead nice man i like that one yo how fitting is that yeah a little you know oh i like that a little gray on the on the joints so anyway now we that we have a spaceship i mean there's just so much [ __ ] that we can do i love it i love this um so yeah thank you all for uh tuning into this journey make sure you smash that like because you know can't now that we're on candace you know candace needs likes too yeah it's not just about the four of us doing the show now it's about candice smash the like just for the fact that we're back together in person yeah off earth where covet isn't a thing yeah and if we have cove it doesn't matter because we can't give it to anyone exactly because we're quarantined up in the air exactly in space yeah exactly it's the best of all worlds what is this what did you bring up here oh oh yeah cause you got oh yeah we're by the way we're both vaxxed and waxed now yeah and ready to have sacks and um we both got johnson johnson so babe i had the vox i'm ready for socks let me come over babe i'm voxed and i'm waxed let's have [ __ ] sucks sack no that's why that's wax man this relationship sucks like i'm [ __ ] trapped sorry come over let's do some sick tracks because my girlfriend won't rub on my shaw [Laughter] damn i'm that i'm over here she doesn't have socks her pussy's dusty i feel like i'm [ __ ] mad max do you think we could record a song in those voices and just that should go stupid viral we should absolutely do that yeah i go harder than carty yeah anyways yeah i got [ __ ] vaccine shamed on [ __ ] twitch you sound like every surfer i've ever met look at it says uh hey guys we want to take a quick break to thank the sponsor of today's episode me undies me undies believes that comfort is about more than what's touching your skin in fact it's about feeling comfortable in your skin that's why meundies sources the softest most comfortable fabrics imaginable their endless 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enjoy discounted pricing control shipping and exclusive early access love your butt and get the membership meundies has a great offer for our listeners for any first-time purchasers you get 15 off and free shipping me undies also has their problem free philosophy if you're not satisfied with any product for any reason they'll refund or exchange no caveats no questions to get your 15 off your first order and free shipping go to meundies.com tmg that's meundies.com tmg i'm picturing a girl just you know like like being into a dude like that and going to suck his dick and the whole time he's like oh yeah [ __ ] right there [ __ ] in there girl doing that damn sucking me [Laughter] should put a gopro on the end of this thing i'm [ __ ] crazy [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] this is that this is that um you know academic humor yeah this is a good intelligent humor we're just you know we're highlighting the fact that surfers have transcended modern language and that it's almost it seems like a reversal in that they they have gone to noises primitive noises over actual language but it's actually oh yeah oh yeah see it's impressive you got songs don yeah exactly you're anna so exactly it's more efficient because they don't have to use so many words you know yeah the yeah that's all right [ __ ] socks pulling up pulling up logan paul and wrestlemania like as if that's the biggest all right move on to the next second [Laughter] i'm kidding i like it i like it enough they're like all right guys not even saying real words anymore this is this is a new season of the podcast you guys started by not even saying english words i just i just noticed this [ __ ] came with matching iphones damn dude bruh falling [Music] she signed the sun yeah i got so back to what we were talking about i got vaccine shamed yeah we basically just did you definitely aren't into it yeah we did it it's not even our bit whatever we just sat outside that shamelessly shout out man good neighbor shout out back um kyle mooney yeah i got vaccine shame dude we don't have to watch this but who's the third one kyle back and oh my gosh nick nick yep that's what it was shout out all three of them but anyways so yeah you you went on stream because we both got the johnson johnson vaccine and um it really [ __ ] me up first of all i was out for like two days and that's not to say don't get it no that's just i mean you can't really get it anymore they stopped but uh you know i think people have been sharing their stories of how sick they're getting and we both we both got hit pretty hard yeah we got um our asses kicked man i got my ass eaten by that vaccine [Laughter] not in a good way you know yeah i got my box ate by that vaccine hey my [ __ ] dude yeah i didn't know i had one but it let me know that i did that vaccine brings the feminine out of you yeah you can be you can be the toughest dude on earth you get that vaccine it goes in and immediately you get a taste it's like yeah what was that oh yeah oh i'm so i'm so sorry yeah girl's like no it's fine it happens all the time every guy moans actually and then about you know for me i got it and i was doing [ __ ] around the house and i was thinking man this vaccine's not about to get me then at six o'clock i felt really weird took a little nap a couple hours later i started simulating what was a fever i kept checking i didn't have a fever but i just got chills like crazy yeah just like yeah you know so it was like i was like peak orgasm for several hours just sweating and shaking and i couldn't talk i woke up the next morning like oh [ __ ] god i'm spent god who's this that was amazing oh when can i see you again can i tell you what happened yeah yeah so i pull up to the place and i'm like waiting in line to get it and i'm like five people away from the front of the line right it's moving really fast there's like 30 people giving people shots nice and so uh it's like moving moving moving and then all of a sudden one of the guys that was in the it was like in this like little community center and one of the guys that was like waiting in the 20-minute wait area that had just gotten the shot yeah if you don't know when once you get the shot you have to wait 20 minutes to see you if you have like some adverse or allergic reaction or something like that they want to make sure that you're good before you drive home and one of the guys that was sitting there passed out and hit his head on the floor and everyone went and like two paramedics came over and started tending to him and meanwhile i'm like am i gonna yeah what the [ __ ] about my body yeah [Laughter] that's all you can and i'm reminding myself i'm like science like of course it's safe they're giving out thousands and thousands of these every single day right and so i i'm fine but the girl in front of me calls her parents and just starts bawling her eyes out and dips so this happens and then i pull up to the woman as i'm like you know reminding myself like this is fine it's safe it's safe and she was like i was like this this doesn't happen often right and she's like oh no he just told us he hasn't had anything to eat or drink all day and it was 4pm nice in a hot little like nice thing getting a shot to the arm okay that makes you feel better and then get home feel fine whatever i go to bed at like 11 and then i wake up chilly gets me up because he has to poo at midnight never happens literally has never happened before since he's been potty trained this is the first time this has happened that he's woken up at midnight and it's right when my fever hit so i wake up i'm feeling like i'm sweating i'm shivering i'm hot at the same time i'm like god this sucks and he wakes me up and i'm pissed because i'm like i don't want to [ __ ] take you out right now i'm sick i'm sick as hell and so i am pissed off and i can't find my glasses because i'm blind as a bat right so i'm like and i rip my drawer out of my bedside table because i'm so mad to to find my glasses in there yeah and the drawer falls and hits the ground and it trips the glass break on the alarm so my alarm starts blaring and i'm like [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] i don't have my glasses on i run downstairs and i'm running downstairs and i do that fall down the stairs where you slip on your heel like you went down a ladder like the whole thing and i'm blind and my alarm's blaring and i'm sick as [ __ ] and i'm like this is the worst night of my whole [ __ ] life how did this happen it went from completely silent and totally calm and you know people serenity to like ultimate chaos in like two seconds just at a mr bean scene so whip loot sound yeah dude i [ __ ] so that was my that was my experience with the vaccine but now i feel great and i'm waxed yeah a vast i just slept on top of my blanket for uh yeah like 12 hours it was brutal i was just up till four in the morning i slept four hours and then woke up and then yeah whatever i kind of like evened out and then i slept super hard the next day and then yeah i went on stream and i mentioned that i'm vaccinated and i'm like i got the johnson and johnson and i got like five i mean if you care to see the whole rant it's on youtube but i get like five comments in the chat jay is ass jj is whack what the [ __ ] is this what is your problem [ __ ] kidding me and the thing that's not on youtube is part of my rant as i say in like three weeks ago wasn't everyone saying believe in science don't question it if you can get vaccinated go get vaccinated and that's what i did and then i went and got vaccinated and now i'm getting shamed because i got apparently the android of vaccinations yeah that's bizarre that's a weird thing to make fun of someone for yeah and so you know i go on this whole thing like people just like that like you know moderna and pfizer just sound like zany bar [ __ ] manufacturers like yeah they just sound like drugs so that's why people like it yeah they don't like that johnson johnson is in their you know house and people are like uh they had baby powder with asbestos in it so yeah definitely wouldn't want to use their products i'm like baby powder is not a vaccine yeah yeah yeah like come on bro i wanna i want i wish the us had astrazeneca because that [ __ ] sounds like a sick dj [Laughter] that sounds like a headliner at ultra this summer excision and astrazeneca yeah actually yeah it actually kind of sounds like some niche crazy dubstep dj that you'd hear in like a crazy club dude i'm going crazy this summer when i see astrazeneca dude wow [Music] [Laughter] yeah bro so wait by the way can we get a little mood lighting in here yeah let's like set this oh that's way better same color as my balls nice because you're cutting out socks because a gun [Music] sucks because my go and tells my shop [Laughter] hola guys we want to take a quick break to thank the sponsor of today's episode which is babel you know for most of us learning a second language in high school or college wasn't exactly a high point in our academic careers right i learned latin in college uh which you can't speak yeah but i don't know how to write it either still nice so you didn't learn anything didn't learn anything so um now thanks to babel though the number one selling language learning app on the planet there's an addictively fun and easy way to learn a new language whether you'll be traveling abroad connecting in a deeper way with family or you just have some free time babel teaches bite-sized language lessons that you'll actually use in the real world yeah babel's 15 minute lessons make it the perfect way to learn a new language on the go you can learn that stuff anywhere on the toilet in the shower if you put your phone on your ufo yeah on your ufo i mean just literally anywhere babel designs their courses with practical real world conversations in mind things you'll get to use in everyday life other language learning apps use ai for their lesson plans but babel lessons were created by over 100 language experts their teaching method has been scientifically proven to be effective with babel you can choose from 14 different languages including spanish french italian and german plus babel's speech recognition technology helps you to improve your pronunciation and accent start your new language learning journeys today with babel right now when you purchase a three-month battle subscription you'll get an additional three months for free that's six months for the price of three just go to babel.com and use the promo code tmg that's babvel.com promo code tmg for an extra three months free babble language for life okay so we got the big fight this weekend people big fight oh yeah um actually speaking of big fights well we we kind of got some action from both the paul brothers um last last weekend yeah saturday logan paul was on wrestlemania yeah i don't really care about that so much i what i do care about is this don jr so fun fact i've gone the last however many years i've never heard don jr speak and when i say don jr i'm talking about trump's kid you haven't i've never heard oh my god it's awesome i've never there's like a huge thing where he's like people think he's on coke all the time because of the way he talks i've never heard this dude talk until this promo right here and it was just easily the weirdest way to be introduced to what he sounds like first of all look at his face yeah you know i don't want to roast appearances but he looks like why not i don't know it looks like like taped back like he looks like an extra in like a weekend video you know what i mean like yeah it's just like this also has big time like wake up in a hotel vibe after staying up till four am doing whatever in a motel like the art is super motely and it looks like he like woke up and someone told him like you gotta do this man you're like they paid you for this and he's like all right [ __ ] it he set up his phone like against the console and then yeah let's see yeah let this rip guys ufc fighter versus youtube legend there's been a lot of smack talking around some of my friends in the ufc like jorge mouse vidal have chimed in uh talking crap about ben asker and uh and do you think that jake paul youtube sensation can take him honestly pre-order this fight check it out swipe up now uh it'll take you right to the page so you can do it because i know we're going to have some fun on the 17th with this one it's going to be really you can see what happens check it out what the [ __ ] that's so random yeah i love what i love is the let this play right here just after he's done just play the last two seconds of this just holding the face to turn off the phone [Laughter] check it out yeah that's he's got the weirdest voice ever man that tripped me the [ __ ] out actually i don't remember it being like that i kind of felt like he was playing it almost seemed like he was doing like a bruce buff for impersonation or something at the beginning [Laughter] it just felt like someone doing a bad alec baldwin impression yeah alan baldwin yeah jorge monzvadon like i can't even yeah it does sound like a boxing ring guys some of my friends he does definitely sound like a trump though for sure oh yeah he's got a little bit of looks like it's like you know yeah guys it's gonna be it's going to be the best boxing match my good friend jorge mosby he talks like humpty dumpty or something it's just you know what dude this i'm going to watch this fight this weekend i'll say that right now okay i'm not gonna pretend like i'm not gonna buy the [ __ ] out of this fight i'm gonna buy it but i almost think i was thinking about this today because i was listening to ben askren on uh stevo's podcast yeah and uh first of all he's just got the best we talked about this last week i think but he's got like the best temperament like or the best like perspective yeah the whole thing he's like listen i'm like i'm retired i'm totally cool with it i'm making a bunch of money from this and it sounds like fun i never thought i'd be a boxer so now i'll get to be a boxer for a day it sounds like a lot of fun but i almost feel like his like jake picked the perfect person to fight yeah cause it with all of jake's like trying to make him angry and these press releases and stuff like that and him not buying it it makes me want to see the fight more totally yeah i almost feel like i wouldn't tune in if they were both super like uh angry being like aggro about it yeah it would it would just be like it would just feel too much like theater yeah i think ben adds that level-headedness that everyone else is craving on the other side because i think that's what people really want when they're like i wish you'd fight a real boxer they're talking about is somebody who's like measured in the ring yeah you know that could like teach him a lesson or whatever so i feel like people are getting that fix out of ben just sort of no one's ever done it no one's ever been in front of jake and been like dude you're insecure yeah like everyone's wanted to say that they're like yes ben yes he he kind of seemed like he was the same same way on logan's podcast they did like i watched a couple clips from that and he was i think logan was trying to like troll him a little bit yeah and he just didn't because ben is just so solid like in his just the way he thinks about his life yeah i mean just he doesn't care like he's been fighting forever did you see his open workout i did it was really funny yeah and then jake's was like i think jake was just trying to get clicks and stuff yeah yeah like he's like dude we're gonna do like some whatever and people are going to freak out and people did yeah people it's it's impressive how people take debate on all the stuff he does oh i i totally agree i mean i'm guilty of it too yeah like i saw that and i was like because i i was actually watching the live stream it popped up on youtube and i was like oh my computer working and i so i clicked it and that part came up and i was like what the i had a minute i was like what is he doing yeah i was like oh this is definitely just to like grab a screenshot and yeah but um okay here i'll tell you this like the reason i think so on stevo's podcast they were talking about how many pay-per-view buys the lat uh the last fight that jake did you know the one with uh [ __ ] uh nate robinson yeah but who was the main card why am i forgetting this oh ty tyson jesus christ so that did two million pay-per-view sales damn at 50 bucks a pop tyson and roy jones man what is that 100 million bucks yeah i guess 100 million bucks right is that right 20 times 100 2 million times 50. oh 50. sorry i thought you said it was 100 bucks for a pay-per-view buy yeah 100 million jesus christ how are we all that stupid yeah um so this is i think this boxing [ __ ] is like the like probably one of the smartest things ever no it is i mean they uh jake and logan have earned so much money off of it and it totally makes sense why all these kids are getting into it but it's also it's such a natural thing i feel uh for like you know like young dudes especially like young dudes always want to like scrap and and just get that off so i think like they're just hitting something that it's kind of like duh like why has no one did this sooner yeah because in reality yeah like nate robinson got clocked but it it's not common that like young kids are gonna have knockout power so really it's probably one of the safer extreme things they could do yeah because you know but it's it's also like i mean if they did something more extreme like if they were jousting or something like that i probably wouldn't buy that no fighting is like literally the perfect thing where they can generate this much like asymmetric money in one event like there's nothing on youtube or an entertainment ever that could generate a hundred million dollars in one night no besides fighting or like doing something crypto yeah that's it and there logan did the crypto [ __ ] and so you're saying we should fight someone no i'm not saying that i'm just saying like it's crazy that how they're able to like isolate those opportunities and then just maximize them yeah you know what i'm saying i hate to give them credit but like i was just thinking about that today when i found out and also [ __ ] bryce hall's getting paid five million dollars for that fight yeah come on yeah yeah that's absurd yeah it's crazy money how's it feel i'm i'm fine with it because we're not even on the [ __ ] planet anymore yeah same that's what i'm saying we can talk we can talk whatever we want about any of this stuff but it's all literally beneath us forever forever yeah we're the dopest we're like the dopest people out here because literally out here it's just trash and we're also the knights literally garbage yeah so literally flying garbage yeah so like that's all we have to be better than is flying garbage and you know we were we were all about like the year of the six and how we were the number seventh best podcast last year but that was on earth right now we're the number one podcast yeah literally literally because there's nothing and it whoever comes next it doesn't matter because we've been broadcasting just that much longer so we're already good like we beat the game yeah now that we're up here we're kind of like astronauts yeah [Music] all right we're gonna take another quick break to thank another sponsor of today's episode hello fresh with hellofresh you get fresh pre-measured ingredients and mouth-watering mouth-watering seasonal recipes delivered right to your door skip trips to the grocery store and count on hellofresh to make home cooking easy fun and affordable the big three and that's why it's america's number one meal kit hellofresh offers 25 plus recipes to choose from each week from vegetarian meals to craft burgers and extra special gourmet options there's something for 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tinymeat12 and use code tinymeat12 for 12 free meals uh including free shipping how does it it was kind of weird like you know this room of course is is treated but like being in the zero gravity part was possible that's [ __ ] up that was really like that yeah yeah getting up here was strange yeah that's gonna be the tough part about this is if we ever go back to like do a tour or something like we're gonna you know we're gonna be like neil armstrong like our bone density is gonna be all [ __ ] up we're gonna be 500 years old yeah yeah exactly or the earth sorry no we're going to be the same age but the earth is going to be older oh that's right our kids and stuff will be yeah we're going to come back and literally there will be no one listening to this like we'll think we're on episode like you know 10 from now but we'll go back and everyone is literally dead podcasters aren't aren't they yeah everyone's dead it's just ice age yeah we're like oh [ __ ] [ __ ] so we would have made the right move we just were kind of selfish about it because we just left everyone to do a podcast dude that's so funny so then we'll have to do a podcast for aliens basically like any other planet we go to yeah we're gonna have to broadcasting for them yeah we're gonna have to travel to other like galaxies and stuff and do stand-up in other galaxies and like it's gonna kind of suck because we're gonna have to start all over you know doing an open mic on like some sandy alien planet so what's the deal with the fourth moon it's like you already got three of them you know what's the deal with ufo dealers man it's like you just want to get the fuel and go you don't want to sit and hang around man i already bought the ufo yeah they always want to chill afterwards you know like just give me the fuel let me go man dude we'll get to be the fir like we we could literally rip every act from the human race and just hack it up all the way through like space we just take seinfeld's whole career oh steal everything yeah and just you know who cares alien planet that's actually a really good idea and we can invent like stocks yeah we could go you know yeah introduce all kinds of concepts that's true what would you invent what would we do what's the biggest do we'll just carry out the american way and just do imperial acts galactically you know what i mean yeah i feel you go shake up governments and like you know small local towns and stuff no i think i think a good move would be like heading to another planet and then you know can i speak to your leader that whole deal yeah it comes up and we're like we have this idea it's called youtubers vs tick tockers what do you think they're just like youtubers versus tick tockers i don't does he get is he i don't think so dude basically like youtubers kind of like a millennial thing dude like long format and then tick tock came in and like ruined the whole [ __ ] thing and so they like do videos that are shorter they're like younger and they take steroids and stuff it's the whole thing do you know who the [ __ ] boy is you know i've ever heard of sarms it's gonna be so hard to get you caught up but basically we want to like take these kids and make them fight each other and they're all like rich so like it's kind of like a [ __ ] thing because like they all benefit and we don't but like it's good vibes for example bryce hall bryce hall and i am right we preserved bryce hall we made sure to go get him like we got him frozen downstairs we're like we can't we clowned all the ten times we just got [ __ ] up clones of all of them like it's taylor holder but his eyes are pointed outward like that yes yeah they just he's got him floating in a tank and taylor holder with chameleon eyes like damn i don't know if he's going to be able to box but let's see the cloning process isn't perfect yeah we got to iron out some kinks let's get bryce all with the tail out of his forehead the [ __ ] is with his tail dude cut this [ __ ] off i always [ __ ] can't fit my snap back around the tail comes out the front of the snap bag a little hole clone addison ray but she has like like a [ __ ] chain smoker's voice what's up tick-tock it's your girl addison ray i don't know man oh [ __ ] anyway um yeah so yeah the boxing thing is crazy fousey's making a comeback on youtube so what's what's that about i haven't done this rabbit hole basically he people are calling him like the dana white of youtube you could like wait is he is he like actually the one promoting and organizing the fights nah he uh you could just let this play without volume but basically in this video he goes to a gym and it's crazy because this gym i didn't realize they trained him for his last fight or this that's where he trained who that's ten goose boxing i know like i don't know who who he fousey remember when he fought that fight and he lost like horribly oh yeah so he trained at 10 goose and um i'm familiar with them just because uh a comedian i used to roll with like trains there and tengoose actually did this event where they had comedians box each other it was like pretty entertaining um and so fousey went there and he they set up like a mini tournament with all these boxers uh that are like creators as well i guess or like dudes that want to box and i this kid alex wasabi like he was supposed to fight ksi or something but this video is actually cool because you could tell all the kids in there like they definitely have a passion for boxing like they really care uh that kid nick ireland has a as a [ __ ] gas tank but and they all train here i don't know if they all train there but they all definitely box um i think that might be his first time but they're all super young it doesn't matter so there's one dude in here i think he's got the most generic name ever it's like ryan johnson or something um that dude you know i'll spoil this video he wins the whole thing okay but you knew he was gonna win the whole thing because after oh this kid doesn't box he just boxed bryce hall for a round and i i think he got touched up i could i couldn't follow that whole [ __ ] man that yeah this was all over all the drama [ __ ] like tick-tock pages and everything it's called bryce this kid ryan ryan johnson okay he you knew he was gonna win the whole thing because he did his first fight and uh they were like man you got heart man you pulled it out and he looks to the camera and he goes that was all god right there you're like oh yeah this motherfucker's gonna kill everybody in there that dude when an athlete talks about god did that for me those are the ones you should be scared to death of because why because they're the ones that have this switch that goes beyond humanity yeah like they're able to put themselves in another zone entirely yeah like art and santa you know one of the greatest f1 drivers ever that dude you know he would say like oh it's by the power of god i can drive this way it's like oh this dude doesn't even screw yeah maintenance on the ship it's just annoying he doesn't even drive thinking about his family or his kids this dude drives like i'm doing this for him it's like for the big man it's like you if a before a fight a dude just goes like it's like yeah you should be horrified okay i get it you know and like uh shouldn't you be more scared of someone that has nothing to live for nah i i think it's the ones that like like when they have that ultimate faith to the lord because they hit that fourth wind where it's like just give it to me lord and it just comes from somewhere else and it's like oh this is what i was put here to do punch right through yeah exactly yeah pull out their heart something just came over here you go god my offering that's what that's why you all romero was so scary because he called himself the soldier of god oh yeah and after he'd literally murdered someone in the ring he'd do this like like north east southwest [ __ ] where he would just salute the air he just it's like that's scary like who yeah who are you you're on the ground the spirit dog you're on the ground like [Laughter] and this dude is over your body like mission complete bury him now he's gone he's out of here so i think you know jake he did pick the perfect opponent because that's who all these guys should be afraid of is the ryan johnston's in this game like i think jake if he wins he might win a couple more and i feel like he's going to pick a guy with that mentality yeah just thinking like yeah it's go time and jake's going to be at the press for like he [ __ ] [ __ ] the fight game whatever and that dude's going to be the other side like i've eaten beans for 30 days presser's gonna be like scary awkward yeah so how do you feel going into this fight i just give all the glory to god and whatever happens in there that's what's gonna happen and i'm who you're jake no jake okay yeah or you could be dude i'm literally gonna slam your head into the ground dude i'm gonna slam it up your own ass cheeks dog i mean that's that's not the plan that god has outlined for me so why you keep talking about god man glory to the greatest man i fight for different reasons [Laughter] this is gonna be why does your breath smell like beans bro [Laughter] i don't know i mean just yeah so this kid ryan johnson he has in this [ __ ] like he's he has crazy like fight iq like in the moment like he'll just be ducking these dudes and then he dropped that kid nick ireland and then immediately that kid hits the mat and he's just going wow the whole ring is like yeah this way we cut this one short we want to quickly interrupt this week's episode to say thanks to expressvpn for sponsoring it i know that none of you watch porn i know that i know that i don't either but just in case you have any friends that do you'll want to pay attention to this and maybe tell them this after the fact with everything going on in the world governments have increased their surveillance they're using our devices to track our locations movements and in many countries internet activity they're using our devices to track our locations our movements and in many countries are internet activity you don't want to be literally caught with your pants down and one of the best ways to keep your online browsing activity private is by using expressvpn when you use expressvpn your internet connection is rerouted through secure encrypted servers so you can surf the web anonymously without anyone looking over your shoulder look i know you probably think all you have to do is use incognito mode and no one can see that you've watched every last hentai video on pornhub but you're wrong you're wrong and even when you use incognito mode your internet provider like comcast or at t can see every single website you visit and if you live on campus or use a shared wi-fi your network admin can too what really that's why i use express oh [ __ ] i gotta test that's why i use expressvpn whenever i go online and i recommend all of you should do the same without expressvpn you're giving people a free license to peek over your shoulder and see what all the freaky [ __ ] you're looking at so protect your privacy today and get three months of expressvpn for free visit expressvpn.com tmg that's e-x-p-r-e-s-s-vpn.com tmg for three months free with a one-year package visit expressvpn.com tmg to learn more dude the best part about all this the best part is that pull up a ryan johnson video oh wait wait let this play and then we're gonna do a ride john [Music] protect who is that against rich ireland [Applause] [Music] his [Applause] oh [Applause] that was the craziest round yeah yeah now pull over ryan johnston video yeah this is the best part is that stromedy alex wasabi and that ryan johnson guy i pretty sure i recognize ryan johnson because i think i've watched one of his videos before when i was doing my like family vlog video maybe sure right yeah i think he does like family vlogs i have no clue i just went to his page and i saw him like a bunch of pictures with his kid and they were colored like a six nine video and i was like yes this is a murderer is this it is this a ryan johnson video i think so okay so yeah but they all make videos for kids oh do they yeah that's the things dramadee's videos are like targeted at children like they all do like the you know crazy over exaggerated astrology does videos the his videos are like the um you know walking into a haunted forest at 3am with a drone why is bryce and they like watch a drone screen and they fly their drone like and then they have someone in a clown suit like run under the forest and they're like oh my [ __ ] god did you see that dog and they do like two videos like this every single week and then yeah through our eyes that's what it's called all these videos are targeted for children so so they make videos for kids and then they're and they're in the boxing it's just weird i just don't get how bryce could care that someone like that was talking [ __ ] about him it's like bryce and taylor train you know a couple days a week like who gives a [ __ ] a kid's creator is like i'll [ __ ] you up who cares i don't i don't really get it i don't know i don't know man the the footage in that so fussy did another video where they fought and they took the footage out of the fight just play this no volume while we're talking luke yeah we don't need to hear it that's for sure yeah sorry keep going no it's i'm kind of curious to see what this is yeah all right we got a pug in the first place i mean that's a great way to i love puzzles but i'm a big we already know what this is you know after doug it's just everybody trying to hire a third actor in their home yeah sorry what were you saying though um i'm sorry yeah you know no disrespect to the dude but i know he's nuts it just like this style of vlogging at this deep in youtube you really don't give a [ __ ] what do you mean like to just be in 2021 like this like just [ __ ] like what is up guys today we're going to the forest my dog is here like like it's just it's nuts filming people straight out the shower like i think audiences and stuff are hypersensitive to what you do now so i think there's this element of people where they think about these things and this dude's like nah it's all on camera everything yeah but this isn't even this isn't even like a normal vlog like i'm not talking like i feel like roman atwood you ever watched one of his vlogs yeah yeah yeah he's genuinely like it kind of seems like those are just vlogging our life you know like here's our life and it's a lot of older family people that watch those because they're like i want to see another family that's true but these types where it's like all like go to his thumbnails for a second and i don't know maybe i'm passing judgment too early maybe i'm not like remembering this guy's channel correctly but i'm pretty sure it's one of these where scroll down like what did this thumbnail say like all caps lock like they're all like half of them are kind of fake like they do like fake sketches sort of where they're pretending that someone's cheating on someone yeah like catching my girl pranking mike oh yeah maybe he was the one that they did like a baby dropping prank that's where i say i think that's what i'm getting at when i say he's nuts is in his eyeballs and his content seems like he has that level of commitment where it does not matter to him what anybody says about his videos yeah yeah he just knows what he's gonna do to put on for his kid and like his family yeah that's fair and glory to god search nick austin baby drop prank real quick i just want to see him thinking about the right video let's just get that information right take austin no oh no it wasn't nick austin sorry what was his name i have no clue nick what was the [ __ ] is what are you talking about the guy we were just watching astronomy no thank you ryan johnson ryan johnson you're just making up names nick austin rhymes we get you okay getting that getting that you get that j blood clot in your brain right now i think it's the space i think it's the low grade i'm just [ __ ] with you i think i got the like smooshy space brain right now yeah yeah here we go i dropped the baby yes so i am thinking about the right video so this pause it for a sec maybe and maybe try and like find the place where they drop it but this is the prank okay they get a fake baby they have a baby right him and his wife yeah and then he goes up to like the second floor looking over the like the railing while his wife is in the living room and he drops the fake baby off the thing to get his wife's reaction is that not the most [ __ ] up prank you've ever heard in your entire life yeah it is i want to see it [Laughter] now granted i think that this is staged honestly because there's no way you'd actually do this to your real-life wife no i mean that's seductive i mean uh did you see that tick tock where the wife trips into the kitchen and throws a fake baby in the air and the husband catches it it was hysterical okay okay this is different though is that that's a little bit different maybe yeah cause you're sort of this is like dr like the baby is dead if this is real the baby died yeah that's true yeah i love this insidious angle he's carrying that thing pro he's really milking it and oh you can do it with volume yeah we're gonna do volume [ __ ] it [Music] eyes really setting her up oh no this is the real baby oh yeah so now he switches it yeah do not get in a boxing ring with this dude [Music] yeah get pranked get staged staged look at that he's like he's like [ __ ] the railing too [Music] what what did i do wrong that posit is he just dropped a baby and then and then go you got pranky prank and then did a fortnight celebration on the rail you got pranky prank on a pole oh man it's so like pranked he slid on a pole he was ass first he doesn't respect her at all he went ask first you got pranky pranked stupid you got pranky pranked wow it's crazy right yeah so i agree with you i think this guy is going to be a monster in the ring yeah he's the next he's the one to be afraid of from as far as earth youtube fighting predictions go yeah i know we're kind of up here right now it doesn't really matter but yeah if we were to predict kind of the next i think ryan johnson brian johnson maybe yeah i think that's the fight to make because i think ryan johnson would just have a peculiar like personality that maybe jake wouldn't really know how to deal with yeah like imagine oh dude imagine he this is beating up jake paul in the ring and he's like you're getting cranky pranked right now bro i'm getting cranky pranked wow wow how does it feel to get a little pranky prank pop pop i'm not getting pranky pranked pop-pop t-pose yeah yes you are yes you are yeah dude um that would be the ultimate [ __ ] you knock someone out and then just t-pose my body i really wonder what ben's going to do this weekend a lot of people are predicting ben's just going to throw jabs get close spin them around like really tire them out like make it really dirty once by the fourth round jake is like oh i see yeah and then ben's like you ain't even seen deep waters before brother and then he's like giving it to him one of the things that stevo was saying is and one of the things that ben said on that show he was like steve was like what is your technique like what's your plan can you talk about it going into this weekend yeah [ __ ] it sure i'll talk about it and he was basically like i'm gonna bring what i know about being in the ring and just hope that jake boxer or jake paul isn't like jake boxer that's what they call him jake the boxer paul um he was like i'm just gonna hope that jake paul isn't a really good boxer because i don't know and nobody knows and stevo was like that's the craziest thing about this fight that's the reason why it's gonna do so well is cause nobody knows if he's actually good yeah yeah and it's just funny that ben was like yeah i just i'm just kind of gonna pray to god he isn't the best boxer in the world because if if he isn't then i'm gonna beat him and if he somehow turns out to be the best boxer in the world just by chance then i'm kind of [ __ ] i'm gonna get a i'm gonna get worked yeah well whatever i mean i think the other part with fighting is just there's so much that goes into it so you can't you can't really predict it ever yeah it doesn't you know you some fights are sure bets but yeah someone's definitely going to lose yeah i think someone's going to lose someone's definitely going to lose i would reckon that you know probably someone's going to win too yeah i i liked one fan theory that was if jake paul starts losing he'll do something illegal to end the fight and then be like oh i was gonna win anyway oh that's a good theory but he would forfeit all his money so he's probably not going to do that yeah you know i just think like you know jake i feel you know it's so obvious he models himself after conor and no one's ever seen him like really fight a long fight but in the first fight he did when it got deeper you could tell like he his gas tank ran out yeah that could have been nerves and connor and dustin poirier oh yeah yeah that's happening right yeah yeah but that's happening in july so yeah i mean we'll see what happens um ludwig his stream the longest running stream ever i think and the most he's now the most subscribed to twitch streamer of all time it's insane yeah it's pretty [ __ ] crazy congrats to him man he went from i mean he's now like categorically one of the biggest streamers if not the the biggest right now just in the span of like two weeks it's so insane just just from one that just shows like the merit in just execution on a on a pretty good idea you know just a simple idea like i'm gonna do this subathon where every new sub adds 10 seconds or whatever that's not that novel of an idea but it but it [ __ ] it's unreal how something small like that can have such an impact i mean i think because it i don't know i think you can look at it now and go oh yeah that's obvious but yeah i think like to your point he executed it really well into his credit you know oh yeah absolutely anyone could think of this idea but the way he did it you know i think was just simple and [ __ ] really smart yeah credit to him man nice work ludwig yeah and i think you know i like that he i think another thing that made it wholesome for people and a good thing was because he didn't just make it money oriented i think that's what helped drove it as well yeah it just became like everyone's sort of in on it yeah and i think that too made it like a really solid and if you did this like trying to just do it for money that [ __ ] would turn on you so quickly yeah people would be like wait hold up how much [ __ ] money did we give you yeah i know you're right actually to to be super transparent about how much money he's making how much he's giving away and how much he's paying his employees and stuff like that yeah and to just be really transparent about that yeah i think that's why people i mean that's why like i i appreciate like graham stefan and what he does on his channel it's like it's nice to be just totally transparent about yeah revenues and like yeah because it's just gives you perspective on what and he's making more than anybody makes on youtube yeah so it's a little bit like demoralizing but in the same sense it's like oh i know what i can shoot for now i know it's possible yeah well i think it it helps them as well just not to be phony yeah because then they don't have to hide behind anything yeah like for ludwig like i don't know you don't you're running something like that it's [ __ ] uncomfortable if you're sitting on the other side and you're just raking millions and people are like i wonder how much you're making and you're like uh yeah you just feel weird being like yeah it's like two million dollars yeah it's odd so yeah that [ __ ] 90 days from now that twitch payout is gonna be crazy it's gonna look wild yeah but you know i think he did it the right way and i think that goes way further than whatever money like he could keep in the short term you know what i mean like from here on out people will you know he held himself to a certain standard so other people know that they can hold in that standard as well yeah so you know not to psychoanalyze this [ __ ] but it's cool congrats to this and also it's like it's cool when somebody breaks through like mr beast for example it's cool when someone on a certain medium breaks through the threshold of what you thought was possible definitely like this you know ninja played with [ __ ] drake like you know after that happened it was like obviously it was obvious that he was the biggest on the platform and so it makes sense that he would have that many subscribers and then someone comes out of nowhere and in two weeks beats that record and makes millions of dollars from people literally giving him money almost directly yeah and you think holy [ __ ] what is the ceiling on twitch no like we don't we're not we probably haven't even scratched the surface in terms of what can actually happen with live streaming yeah and same with mr beast on youtube it's like it's like you thought pewdiepie passing 100 million subscribers was gonna be you know that was like the ceiling for a while and then this guy comes out of nowhere gets 50 million views per video and makes obscene amounts of money now is starting his own vc fund and you see that [ __ ] his that program where he's like basically investing in creators in early creators early stage creators and then taking a percentage of their revenues like it's changing in the [ __ ] game yeah yeah i heard i heard about the uh investing in small creators didn't realize he was starting his own venture capital as well yeah you know as investors you know we understand that whole world you know as experienced seasoned investors yeah on earth yeah now we're kind of looking for that's why we left because we're kind of looking for we're that forward thinking where we're looking for the next frontier it's like me us and elon searching for investment opportunities in the universe exactly here's the thing elon wants to go to mars but he can't really go if we get it first that's true you know what i'm saying like or there's no there's like he can he can go to mars yeah he can colonize mars yeah i'm saying but there's no subway on mars like the sandwich shop no we could franchise a subway and we could definitely that's a really great business opportunity yeah you it is you're gonna need someone's gonna need a chicken teriyaki sub at some point i mean we can bring it all there you know elon can go there he can bring the people there but like is he bringing pinkberry i don't think so exactly exactly who's gonna bring a lids to mars yeah what are you gonna do when you need a sick new era cap yep to go underneath your helmet yeah for your bird scooter that we're also gonna bring there i mean there's just so many opportunities there with like i said we can take everything from earth and just hack our way through the universe by just reappropriating ideas yeah the american way yeah yeah it's gonna be crazy when we have to tell alibaba they have to send all these products to space but like that's fine yeah that's fine yeah you know alibaba did i think 50 billion dollars in revenue in the last three months like how was there even that much money that's crazy that it all came from tick tock as well yeah i know yeah big shout out to it's all drop shippers yeah big shout out to the drop shippers lining our boy alibaba's pockets man speaking of they hit me back about the automatic semen collection oh yeah why don't you tell the people about that why don't i just respond to that in real time as well also kyle where are we right now okay okay no like i meant i meant like he meant coordinates wise coordinates oh okay all right oh nice copy oh cool all right listen santa what's up right hold on let me dig up this email north pole so remember that all right dear noel have a nice day okay that's how they intro the email yeah that's hard as hell [ __ ] you too yeah noelle hey what's up man have a nice day damn uh received your inquiry about our automatic sperm capital s collector with you on alibaba we are a professional manufacturer for 30 years supplying products with good quality and best price prepares details for your reference and close please kindly check any kind any ideas you have feel free to tell me kind regards claire all right claire hey what's up dude hey what's up kind regards con regards have a nice day have a nice day kind regards um claire any ideas i have okay can we put boobs on it what's the um what's the price like what what are we looking at here did they quote you on something um there's no price but one of the technical features is it's got a portable dvd player for all the porn dvds so maybe we need to you know big busty meals big busy meals after that scary express vpn ad i think we need to go [ __ ] retro and go somewhere and pick up porn that's a great call because we can't be watched that's a great question you can't be watched while consuming porn on a dvd yeah yeah big busty mills five i know what you're talking about yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um this is another feature that you know it's probably good to know the illumination of the glow is more than 800 lux so you know wait what just so in case you wanted to know okay thanks the illumination of the glow is more than 800 lux oh that's yeah that's one of the features yeah okay what is the gl what is that i have no idea i don't know oh hey the cavity with constant temperatures below 36 degrees so oh for this for the sperm yeah so the pus never gets too hot no that's for the storing of the spermies i'm pretty sure oh yeah cause it's sub 36 so does it store your [ __ ] afterwards like is there a little come fridge yeah okay yeah it's a frigidaire in there you're thirsty no you know what we could we can make a real we can make a real splash on 4chan you seen the [ __ ] jar no you know about the [ __ ] jar i don't want to oh that's [ __ ] gross man they put like a [ __ ] do it don't google it or google it i mean google it but like oh like all i've seen is like a my little pony in like a literal jar it's f it's foul [Laughter] and don't show that on the [ __ ] screen that'll get us demonetized for sure that is [ __ ] up dude turn it off oh yo nate nate has to edit that so it just goes you see in the come jar and it goes right to cody going that is [ __ ] up dude all right that's a note all right we won't we can we won't continue on that but anyways um we got a lot of stuff to touch on in the bonus what do we got by the way hey not just to end it you know just so you guys can get hyped because we're gonna respond to this email in the bone zone yeah um the apparatus feature is number one it stimulate vaginal environment through massage twitching sucking vibration etc massage twitching sucking vibration etc that's like all the best things yeah i guess yeah that's what you want your girl to do yeah you massage it yeah twist twitch a little bit suck it switch it massage it pull it pass it vibe it suck it twitch it dude it's just a bop gawk it boy look at it it's a [ __ ] porn star just with that [ __ ] on only fence suck it i could totally dildo yeah she's just sitting setting world records and [ __ ] all right [ __ ] it challenge three two one go suck it suck it twitch it sit on it guck it god get it guck it sit it [ __ ] it twist it yeah that's the nasty part going to the different holes one after another trying to remember the order oh my god dude oh my god bop it only fans that's so [ __ ] good wait dude i have to say this god damn it all right [ __ ] uh we could [ __ ] let's take a [ __ ] this is like i don't want to go because i want to wrap it up but i was just thinking dude all right all right i was thinking so i tweeted that only fans need like a ranking system and not the percentages they need like a gaming ranking system where you can go like silver platinum like gold platinum diamond like immortal anything like that okay so that they can be ranked and then they can form like gaming orgs yeah based on the rank of this [ __ ] [ __ ] that's really good and you could have stats too like most dm's i was saying there needs to be like an espn for like all the girls on only phase yeah that's good oh my god dude faze destiny you know immortal rated boppit player [Laughter] there's we're here at the of invitational it is heating up we are getting ready for the it showdown this is the final part of the bracket yeah yeah phase destiny she's goaded when it comes to boxing [ __ ] throats gutted [ __ ] throat goated dude throw it in these are just two girls on stage with the [ __ ] puppets [Music] amazing technique dude the audience is screaming pog champs poggers pogba poggers poggers oh destiny takes a quick l early she sat on it before twisting and [ __ ] it she was supposed to twisted [ __ ] sit on it what was going through your mind there destiny ah you know i just got ahead of myself i went straight to you know i just jumped a gun and i forgot to twist it [ __ ] it before sitting on it so you know it happens well that's what the game's about destiny so yeah good luck out there in the next round [Laughter] coats getting in her face what did i tell you what did i tell you god damn dude suck it twist it [ __ ] it pull it pass it don't pass it swap it you said that earlier i missed that i'm sorry pass it what dude it's a group circle sit on it pass it suck it it's part of the game all right guys i think we'll take a break eat a donut going to the bone zone damn sorry at first i'm sorry [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] twisted i got a all right make sure you suck it in [ __ ] and we'll see you in the bonus the balance

Channel: Tiny Meat Gang

Views: 488,364

Rating: 4.9839544 out of 5

Keywords: Space, Fousey, Tube, FouseyTube, Elon, Musk, Alibabba, Ludwig, Beast, Stromedy, Ryan, Johnston, Johnson, Vaccine, Shame, Joe, Rogan, Candice, Alien, Bryce, Hall, TikTok, Jake, Paul, Ben, Askren, Fight, MMA

Id: NtQzVV5X6Bk

Length: 75min 17sec (4517 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 16 2021

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