Episode 170 - I Am 100% a Cannibal

what's up guys welcome to the tmg podcast this is actually today's episode today's free episode but if you want uh the bonus episode that went up today as well you can find that on our patreon that's patreon.com tinymeatgang and uh the the free episode will be ad free as well on there so uh and if not thanks and enjoy this one peace peace all right clap from a big back yeah i ruined today's no i could just lift or something those are the words of a man who just left the gym big clap for a big back you know man they had to shut down early fitness i lifted all the weights in one go i was like you know i just got to set the high score you went to la fitness yeah i kicked down the door i kicked down the door i was like i have to get this done um and everyone outside was doing push-ups and stuff and they watched me lift a barbell that was 40 feet long i deadlifted every single weight in there the crowd went wild people asked me to kiss their babies and [ __ ] i said close it up no one ever needs to come back here and the owner of la fitness was like you're right you're right that everybody go home you're right i was paying a bunch of fines anyways it should be open right now so no uh i did my first session on our heavy bag and i had like i crumbled my back [ __ ] [ __ ] i can't i can't even laugh like if i laugh the middle of my back feels like it's it's going to break or something it's just you know and i did a little deadlifting this morning so what can i say what can i say can i say ah that's funny that's really funny i can't wait till i'm back on the on the lifting train too and this podcast is just us going i do that's so funny oh see i can't even ow i can't even ow ow [ __ ] oh uh i want to start this episode by reading what could possibly be the most stressful thing i've ever read in my entire life i already know yeah and then we'll talk about what we would do maybe if we were in this situation but okay yeah this is this is a quote from an article i mean like it's a portion of an article i'm not gonna read the whole thing but this is the most important part of the article um your [ __ ] is mine that's the wrong one whoa excuse me is that one about the dude that was hacking is in your [ __ ] is that your text messages with your rep from sweetwater sound yes it is yes it is your big beautiful [ __ ] hey cody just checking in is your your [ __ ] is mine now by the way if you don't know what that have you ever talked about that before i think we have but if you don't yeah just yeah just tell them there's a website where you buy audio gear called sweetwater and it's the place you go they got everything but they they basically took like the zappos approach to customer service but then but then put that on steroids their approach to customer service is like so frustratingly over the top yeah that these guys will text us i haven't bought something from sweetwater in uh like uh eight months to a year probably and this guy texted me yesterday and said hey it's uh so-and-so from sweetwater just wanted to check in see uh how life is treating you and then i sent that to spock and well because we used to joke about it all the time and spock sent a screenshot of the instagram dm that his sales rep sent him dude found him on instagram somehow and dm them and just checking up on his life oh my god man it's so good hey hey man i noticed your instagram is doing well um i just want to recommend a few plugins that might motivate you to create some yeah cool music i've been checking posts yeah dude i've been peeping your social blade recently i've noticed the followers the uptick in followers has really uh you know you've been popping recently so i think we better why don't we get you some gear write your little theme song maybe for instagram or something i want i want one of them to dm me and it's like really rude hey you little [ __ ] you haven't bought anything in a little while your [ __ ] is mine now your [ __ ] is mine now hey little gear [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah yeah i forgot about that term hey little gear [ __ ] let me let me fill your [ __ ] gear hole with something nice gearhole it's a big sale on roland synthesizer plugins but you'd love that what's up you dirty little audio slot who's my little audiophile you are what are you looking for a little xlr plug your hole i i know they're going to show up at my [ __ ] door one day where they go basket yeah hey it's from sweetwater you mind if i make your [ __ ] mine wait luke can we can we censor his name there i think that actually might be his name i'm not trying to dox this guy i'm not trying to get him fired but and also like this isn't really a dig like it almost kind of makes me want to not shop at sweetwater because it's so like uh um what's the word i'm looking for invasive like it's really like off-putting like i got a text from a random number and i'm like what yeah yeah but at the same time i'm not knocking sweetwater's customer i think good customer service is way better than bad customer service yeah like this being over the top is not the end of the world i'm still going to shop as three water because it's the best but like it creeps me out a little bit yeah you know maybe just like we just like mix it up it's always a like a guy named like zakathon or something like it's like i feel like it's always zach corey mike you know alan it's like this weird you know default realm yeah get a yuri in there you know yeah yeah yeah you know how how dope would it be if it was like hello cody it is yuri from sweetwater yeah you're like oh oh [ __ ] what's up boss i was just enjoying my morning vodka thought i would text you know to see how your audio needs are being kept up to you know [ __ ] just anybody in that [ __ ] just you know uh just mix it up that's i think that's my only advice it doesn't always have to be some guy who also likes to work on cars kind of thing i know i'm going to come downstairs one day he's going to be cooking breakfast for kelsey that's yeah that's like hey babe corey from sweden cory he's [ __ ] awesome and he makes the best banana pancakes seriously he's killing i'm like what why are you in my house dude oh i just uh i noticed hadn't ordered anything in a while so i just want to make sure you're good so make sure everything at home is all right good yeah no kelsey's really sweet she's super sweet we get along really well so it starts threatening you subtly so you continue purchasing yeah you know maybe uh maybe if you got some new gear so you guys could work on something something new together yeah we're not come back here you know maybe i wouldn't have to make her breakfast because uh you got you you'd be entertaining her some sweet new gear and just just a thought bro that reminds me speaking of getting cucked um nice hold on that reminds me i still haven't read the most stressful thing no i know we'll we'll read that in a second okay okay what man i watched what was that what was that korean movie that uh man it was was it a couple years ago [ __ ] train to busan no you watched that one uh i can't remember if i i think i did and then i'm looking on that 2016. i think that's it let me excuse me nice bro christ man someone's got to help me out with this but uh uh i watched this korean film was about like um it was like this dude who would like study with this girl and she had this rich boyfriend and man it was uh whatever i'll i'll i'll recall that film and bring it back but that [ __ ] reminds me of that sounds dope though yeah it was very dark it sounds super dope it was crazy anyway okay so most stressful thing here we go most stressful thing ever oh this is just hi cody this court from sweetwater i see you forgetting your uh what you wanted to say on your podcast just want to let you know that i've actually written out your talking points um just in case i've actually been hacking your phone and paying attention to your browsing history just want to make sure you're good your upcoming podcast also hot sale on uh standalone compressors this week and i thought you could definitely use one for the podcast just that's just from me to you i'm just thinking about him like me not responding to his text because i never did and then him like two days later just sending a picture of like my instagram password and being like like what's up now dude just just want to let you know i have this not something like darker it's just like a picture of you like her picture like you walking around yeah exactly from some camera from far away what the [ __ ] just wanna make sure you're uh shopping at sweetwater homie anyway the most stressful thing ever okay most stressful thing ever okay yep okay you ready i think i'm ready okay put your pants on because this is a this is brutal this is gonna make you and people have probably hurt seen this but it's gonna make all of us feel uh it's gonna make all of us sweat yeah stefan thomas a german-born programmer living in san francisco has two guesses left to figure out a password that is worth as of this week about 220 million dollars the password will let him unlock a small hard drive known as an iron key which contains the private keys to a digital wallet that holds 7002 bitcoin while the price of bitcoin dropped sharply on monday it is still out more than 50 from just a month ago when it passed its previous all-time high of around twenty thousand dollars the problem is that mr thomas years ago lost the paper where he wrote down the password for his iron key which gives users ten guesses before it seizes up and encrypts its contents forever oh man are you frozen you looked very committed to the bit there which what bit when when the power went out on your [ __ ] you said this is the most stressful thing you read it and then your face was just like no that's not a good it was more like this i think i think that it was so stressful that my whole system was like [ __ ] this yeah it was so stressful that your yeah the grid shut down literally around your place so guys the power just went out of my place randomly and in the middle of that and so uh basically took half an hour to get my whole system up and running again because i couldn't figure out nothing [ __ ] works pcs suck ass [ __ ] you you know i'm just sick of everything you know but you really burned a half an hour it was like 20 minutes yeah like and now we're gonna be late for the [ __ ] it's just it sucks you know i hate i have stresses me out so much in the middle of reading the most stressful story of all time yeah so my my video file on my side probably corrupted so we're probably gonna have to use a zoom and my zoom face is all like the aspect ratio is [ __ ] up though nothing good you know there's nothing good ever you know what you say my zoom face i like that phrase this is my zoom face this is my zoom face that's gonna be the modern oh face it's gonna be the modern version office space hey dude did you just look over your current 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tmg and guilt you'll get 25 off when you keep everything in your fix that's stitchfix.com tmg for 25 off when you keep everything in your fix stitchfix.com tmg yeah we're back we're back we're back we're back let's talk about the um two guesses two guesses left out of ten out of [ __ ] ten and the worst part is if he doesn't get it it like encrypts itself and he'll never like just lost 200 million dollars just lost like dude that makes me sweat i would i would like what would you do i would kill myself like [ __ ] 200 million dollars and you got to live with that for the rest of your life that you could never that you almost had it if you just weren't such a [ __ ] idiot and lost that piece of paper i just wouldn't even try i would just perpetually say yeah i got 200 million stored away i got two guesses left so you'd never actually guess it no because then you still kind of feel like you have it yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but then what if you think what if you think oh [ __ ] i definitely know it what if you don't you don't think so no you don't you don't know what if one morning like you have some crazy dream or maybe maybe you take some dmt and you rock it off to another world and you see the password like engraved in mars and you're like that's it i'm 100 sure that that is the password and you go and you do it and it locks you out and it erases everything like there's gonna be a moment in life where you probably think that you definitely know what it is that's what i'm saying you just leave it at the two guesses left yeah but if you get it then you you're a [ __ ] bajillionaire you can do whatever the [ __ ] you want no unless i find that piece of paper never trying yeah you can't i don't think i could ever live with that because then you're gonna have to convince yourself yeah but life isn't about money it's about oh yeah you gotta find a fulfilling family and yeah you got to become all spiritual and [ __ ] yeah exactly yeah it's no i find uh you know i finally have peace and tell me yes i meditate now yeah oh yeah do you meditate to get away from the fact you [ __ ] blew 200 million dollars because that's what it sounds like to me pal yeah you know generations of your family would have been fine after this if you hadn't [ __ ] it up you'd be a hero you know it's crazy about 200 million it's still 100 million after capital gains tax it's still enough money to buy your old high school and rename it to your name and then nutsack at the end of it yeah and then fire the one teacher that didn't believe in you that said you were going to be nothing but now you are nothing you're nothing and they were right you still probably have 99 million left you know what i mean [ __ ] man we're talking about some real sick [ __ ] here now now i understand why you want to become a billionaire you know me no i understand no not no not maybe you do i just mean the general desire to become a billionaire because you know i've never really had that desire to be like oh yeah i want a billion dollars yeah do you think do you think billionaires are made or do you think they come out the womb like i want a billion [ __ ] dollars as soon as they understand what money is i i was talking to my friend he he makes a lot of money and he's a business guy he's what you would call a hustler he goes to a different school but like you wouldn't know him but like yeah no you wouldn't know him i'll tell you who he is afterwards oh i think i told you about this guy maybe he's a great guy i love him love him to death but i was in i was visiting and and i saw him and he's like he's been through a lot of like uh turmoil in his businesses almost a couple years well go ahead maybe i think i know who this is he looked at me in the eyes and he said i want to be a billionaire that's my goal and i'm not [ __ ] around i'm not going to be happy until i'm a billionaire it's like damn and he's 30 i think yeah he's my age 30. billionaire okay billionaire of 50 though is it even worth it i don't know i i see i don't the only thing that i think that could be uh worth it about being billionaire is you could actually make change in the world sure like if you want if you wanted to do you have the resources to actually make a difference yeah in terms of whatever it is like you can hate elon musk and i and i don't even know by the way congrats to our boy for being the religious man shout out to our [ __ ] boy it's crazy how we're homies with like the richest guy in the world like on planet [ __ ] earth that's our boy we have a headdress you know i told him that the night that we were there yeah i told him that weird i mean he was sipping his scotch and uh he was like it's a school night and i was like no but dude listen to me man listen to me i think that you one day are gonna be the richest man on earth and he was like come on come on cody don't fathom me like that i said no i really think so and look at today i mean some i i would probably say it was because of me yeah yeah um yeah it's kind of funny to think about a like a a multi-millionaire sitting around a group of billionaires feeling like a small fry feeling like i'll never be like you guys you know i just run a little oil company i'm not gonna be like you guys and then jeff and elon and you know whoever has to be like no dude no you will be a billionaire dude just all you got to do is hustle just believe in yourself dogs [ __ ] what the haters say never stop they hate you because they ain't you dude never stop grinding dog by the way guys during our uh our we had a music session yesterday and we came up with an alternate grinder and it's a social media app that it just lets people know when you're grinding yeah it's like your status is either grinding or not grinding you can you can check your you know your people's grinding status like bring up cody just started grinding hell yeah well you know it's me when i check in at 4 30 a.m yeah every morning yeah because that's when i started my grind yeah currently grinding i'm currently grinding right now yeah are you yeah no definitely no i'm going hard would you say you're grinding um you know like a hundred like i don't i don't it's like can't stop won't stop for me yeah it doesn't my dentist tells me i grind in my sleep yeah literally it never ends for me seriously i mean i took my car to the [ __ ] mechanic and he's like god damn dude you don't stop grinding i'm like nah i don't want any brake pads on my [ __ ] i just want pure grinding i want to feel like i'm grinding at all times i actually don't have tires on my [ __ ] rims either because i want that sensation of grinding 24 7. just [ __ ] this car's completely [ __ ] up dude it's got like probably 10 more miles before it just falls apart yeah yeah but i mean that's because i'm always grinding just gotta stay grinding you know i actually went to like had a surgery so they removed discs from my spine so that whenever i squat i can feel the bones just yeah rubbing straight up against each other right right i mean you should you should like even even in my downtime like when i'm chilling with my girl like watching a movie or like watching you know like the great british bake off or whatever where you should see us on the couch like we're still like spooning but like i'm going for it you know like i'm grinding grinding yeah like it's even like even if we're just parallel like like horizontal right i'm still like yeah he's still still getting in there the whole time just a little close on but like we're grinding yeah definitely because i never stopped yeah i feel that you're gonna be a billionaire man with that attitude you're [ __ ] you're gonna be a billionaire no i was gonna say you can you could hate elon musk and you know he's he's definitely a controversial person right now but like he also is definitely contributing to the to uh you know the the lowering of carbon emissions like we wouldn't be anywhere close to the place that we are with evs if it wasn't for him and you could also say the batteries probably cause more pollution than they don't but people are working on battery breakdown technology right now that's going to make that problem go away yeah so and that's all because and the space you know spacex and everything it's all because he has a [ __ ] billion dollars he can do whatever the [ __ ] he wants yeah yeah i'm just you know it's cool that all these guys like want to work on the environment and stuff but like who's gonna you know who's gonna who's gonna successfully give us the limb lengthening procedure yeah i get yeah that's cool like [ __ ] environment pollution you know but who's gonna [ __ ] make my dick bigger dude make our dicks bigger and make us taller and they're gonna make a dollar how have they not solved this yet this is like we should have did that before cars kind of feel like billionaires got their priorities in the wrong place dude so that's what we would do yeah if we made a bill figure out you know i want to um apply you know uh uh socialist ideas to penis size height and age i want us all to be able to live forever with massive dongs and be very tall because if we all had big dicks then none of them would be small yep and that's what i'm looking for even if we all had medium dicks yeah you know makes the other ones shorter i know even them all out i know you've seen that tick tock which one it's like some girls like i like i see what the government does why can't we just print more money in the kids it's so funny and the kid just yeah penis big but go ahead go ahead i'll let you finish if all penis big no penis big subtle crime she said uh all i'm saying is i haven't seen any evidence as to why we can't just print more money oh god all i'm saying is stop stop never if you if you're starting out something like that stop all i'm saying is don't say it yeah it's typically not a good thing that comes after all i'm saying is all on all i'm saying is that's that's the equivalent to i'm not racist but all i'm saying is why can't the government brother back in the [ __ ] confidence why can't the government just print more money just print more money oh who's the dude that's in charge of the federal reserve um i don't know the meme on wall street bets um that guy's name uh federal reserve chairman uh i'm stupid i don't know anything uh jerome powell yeah you think he's on tick tock you think he's cruising talking he's like oh yeah oh my god you guys i gotta make some calls you guys have you ever thought about just printing more well i mean you know money is a farce in and of itself but you know yeah we can't just [ __ ] construct can't just [ __ ] print more all right i mean you can you can't just we're gonna inflate our dollar and i mean you know what in her defense at a time like this [ __ ] it just send it all into chaos just print all the money let's just get through it man just [ __ ] it deal with it afterwards give us one year where everybody's [ __ ] balling and then let's just see what happens but it won't it it can't you can't because then prices are going to go up no we there's like a like a government thing like everyone is a millionaire for the next 12 months let's see what they'll feel like is now legal let's see what the [ __ ] happens or a billionaire no no just a minute just federal federal mandate easily millionaire okay everyone is the millionaire yeah yeah yeah everybody let's talk about the roaring 20s oh yeah yeah we'd be popping off yeah i'd be at 11 in miami every night for 30 days and then you realize you can burn a million in miami in 30 days and you're like well okay hold on i got i got to speak about this i got to speak on this because all i'm saying is hold on listen all i'm saying all i'm saying is that the food in at 11 is actually pretty good oh yeah you go there during the day you got a great buffet that's all i'm saying um hey there folks we just want to interrupt this bit and talk to 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can't believe like they must have the best chef ever making these recipes and i'm sipping for hello fresh really so nice too sorry now you're fine well you know you can cut down grocery bills and food waste uh they deliver with pre-proportioned ingredients so you're not over buying over buying excuse me uh which you know is a burden on the planet and your wallet so go to hellofresh.com 10 tiny meat use code one zero tiny meat for ten free meals including free shipping that's ten free meals free shipping when you use the code one zero tiny meat at hellofresh.com slash one zero tiny meat uh okay okay so you you brought up on monday you brought up the army hammer [ __ ] mm-hmm and i said what army what do you mean army ham what cannibal what are you talking about and then yesterday i saw he was trending and i clicked on it and then just for like an hour and a half just dove deep on that and holy [ __ ] that has to be the craziest piece of celebrity gossip that i've read ever i think you think it's real though uh i mean i think he really wants to drink blood i mean we watched him suck a baby foot he probably wants to drink blood man well here's the thing and what do you mean and it's what you don't remember that [ __ ] that whole controversy the top of the lockdown of him like sucking a toe no he was like sucking his kid's toe hold on hold on you know army army you know i don't like putting people on blast but you did this to yourself army hammer is sucking toe hold on this is what i mean you know i hate to speculate no no it was the other way around sun sucks army hammer's toe and there was a video of it like he posted it or something yeah we we talked about it and his wife like yeah yeah this is the [ __ ] can you share your screen or something this is the craziest screenshot on planet earth right here hold on [ __ ] a screenshot dude just just mute it mute it before you you share it wait can i play this yeah it's it's it's you know it's tmz but like just just mute the audio okay it's muted kids what the [ __ ] wait what the [ __ ] tmz kids this happened for a solid seven minutes his wife was filming it they're just letting his kid suck his damn toe foot fetish on fleek dude first of all on fleek just don't yeah that's what i'm that's my problem with that is come on that's over man that's my main problem with this snapchat story oh this was in 2019 i'm late as hell this wasn't even no it's relevant though because that's what i'm talking about is is i don't know if they're real i don't know if they aren't it's they seem like they're real particularly because there's a lot of a lot of girls that are coming out with sim with very similar stories the screenshots all have the exact same style like in terms of how he speaks and how he writes and also if you go through his like social media history it's [ __ ] weird it's so bizarre like he did he posted three pictures on instagram on the grid of like this pig head yeah that he was freezing or something and it was like almost like he was like fetishizing a little bit and like i don't want i don't know like maybe i'm just reading too much into it but like it's [ __ ] weird i mean yeah i don't know but anyways if you don't if you don't know what we're talking about i was about to i was about to make a joke about his divorce but i don't know i don't want to do that why i don't want to bring her into it you know yeah that's fair you know she might have dip just because like she's like damn i really let my husband stuck his toes well i really like my son suck my husband's toes i gotta like re-evaluate i can't be around you man but i mean that that's not the like if you haven't seen the dms at the screenshots of the dms that people are saying he sent to women he's basically like a straight up psychopath if they're real i'm not gonna you know he need for me he needs to go on morning television with with hoda and whatever that other [ __ ] bitch's name and he needs to like look to camera and go yeah i like drinking blood yeah i'm really into blood like i need it to from his face unironically he needs to go yeah i don't see anything wrong with blood play yeah what do you mean it's just you know when we filmed uh call me by your name i actually asked if they could put blood in the peach and they said it wouldn't play well on camera but okay here wait can i just read can i read some of these sorry yeah one of these big dms i want to see i want to see everything i want to see your brain your blood your organs every part of you i would definitely bite it b 100 or try to [ __ ] it not sure which probably both if i [ __ ] you into a vegetative state i'd keep you feed you wash you and keep [ __ ] you like [ __ ] hell dude even even if someone faked this and wrote it it's like it's sick this is the best one oh my god that just made me so hard it makes me confused as to why is that even possible so hard thinking of holding your heart in my hand and controlling when it beats i am 100 a cannibal i want to eat you [ __ ] that's scary to admit i've never admitted that before i've cut the heart out of a living animal before and eaten it while it's still warm bro dude this to me about him writing i am one hundred percent accountable bro the funniest things i've ever heard this to me it sounds 100 a cannibal it sounds like when you're 13 and you're horny for the first time and like you're just expressing all of it to somebody you're like yeah i'd [ __ ] you here and i'd i'd suck in your boobs and [ __ ] like it's just it seems like the 13 year old version yeah that was like bdsm in the movie theater i'm gonna cut open your head and take your brain out and [ __ ] it yeah it's like it sounds like maybe he just has no idea how to talk dirty i want to cut your head off and cut a hole into your skull and grapefruit myself with your [ __ ] brain i want to eat i want to eat them eat them too i want to eat your brains i'm so hard so [ __ ] turned on i want to put your brains in a blender and then drink it i'm 100 a cannibal she's like dude what i just said yo real talk though what i'm 100 accountable yo can i be real with you for a second i'm like 100 accountable you're 100 my girl and i'm 100 accountable god damn man thinking about him writing that out and sending it without even like oh my god dude you're an a-list celebrity why are you damning girls that you want to [ __ ] their brains up like jesus christ and some freaky ass [ __ ] apparently dude if they ever if they ever catch this dude [ __ ] like well you know now he can't even do simple [ __ ] he can't even go buy chicken without judgment you imagine being an army hammer none of this [ __ ] is true and he's picking up a rotisserie chicken it's like hot from the thing from vons it's like in the little plastic oh like a rotisserie yeah and he just makes eye contact with someone they look at him they go shake their head he's like well what's like i know you're gonna [ __ ] that thing no i'm gonna eat it oh yeah you're gonna eat it or what after you [ __ ] it or yeah surprise didn't just get one [ __ ] living sick oh jesus christ i just want chicken this dude goes to [ __ ] he goes to some [ __ ] fast food restaurant he's just the drive-through he's got a hat sunglasses he's trying to disguise himself and he's trying to get away from the drama yeah hi could i could i get a number one with with cheese yo is that [ __ ] army hammer yeah you want this thing [ __ ] living and breathing so you could [ __ ] its brains sick [ __ ] oh my god i'm not a psychopath i'm just a hundred percent accountable yeah i can show you where we actually harvest the meat you can just go to the farm and [ __ ] the animals while they're still living if you want to or no you don't [ __ ] things that are alive never mind all right we want to interrupt this uh podcast real fast to say that native aluminum-free deodorant is a great addition to your 2021 routine native cares about what you put in your armpits that's 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switch to native today by going to native deo.com tmg or use the promo code tmg at checkout and get 20 off your first order that's nativedeo.com tmg use promo code tmga checko for 20 off your first order holy [ __ ] i want to [ __ ] if i [ __ ] you into a vegetative state how do you even do that oh my god and there's so much [ __ ] about like like having slaves and stuff like that like like there's one where he's like if you were oh oh if i [ __ ] your oh i i it basically starts and he's like and then i would sew you up i would sew you back up after i after i came because i wouldn't let you die that would be a that would be such a waste for a perfect slave like that's his fantasy is like having like a just a sex slave that doesn't do anything that's [ __ ] up man yeah that's some serious like serial killer [ __ ] if if it's not like you could i don't know i don't even wanna i don't know if it's real i don't know i just know that these dm's are [ __ ] preposterous i also know i'm 100 i also know that i am 100 accountable yeah i guess like there's a lot of girls that say that he they gave him their blood to drink and he actually really likes drinking blood what the [ __ ] i'm telling you i dove [ __ ] deep into this [ __ ] what [ __ ] prove it what's your blood type what's my blood type no i wanna i wanna know i need deets man i can't i can't buy this one just out front it's pretty absurd but i mean at the same time like is it that crazy i mean we see crazy [ __ ] on twitter every day they're dudes that get whipped on tick tock so is it that wild that you know yeah i sent army hammer a vial of my blood but this is what i'm saying can i show the pictures of these pigs like so you hear i don't know i don't really know if i can like i mean they were on instagram they're not censored no and then it's probably gucci okay hold on yeah i guess i i guess i shouldn't write it off so quickly you know maybe i should entertain it like so then you see this quit eyeballing me and these ones this is on his grid man and then another one where he's like syringing me there's no caption on this one it's just like like it's all right you know what yeah i think maybe he hit some some some ladies over some blood it's [ __ ] weird i don't know damn bro damn anyways that's sick [ __ ] if that's real yeah pretty wild army you [ __ ] you nasty [ __ ] yo killing women is your [ __ ] kink what is wrong with you he's 100 accountable oh man i'm pretty sure dudes like went to jail for like actually doing that like i don't think yeah is that legal i don't even think it's legal eating people not is not legal drinking blood i mean gray area maybe if you're a vampire you know i mean if i like if i was just like giving out blood you know you could probably drink it if you want i don't i wouldn't want to do that i mean maybe i'm just saying hypothetically maybe army might [ __ ] bro his next meeting they're just [ __ ] throwing all kinds of what it's like to [ __ ] used tampon or something oh god oh that's disgusting i'm sorry i'm just picturing him just sucking at you like a shrimp oh my god bro army have i have my last week well that's the thing is that a lot of i guess a lot of he there was also a screenshot of him telling us i don't know if this is real either but him telling another girl because she was like are these real and uh he was like no they're not real or something like that but i'm getting tons of dms from other girls saying eat me eat me drink my blood it's like come on and there's a lot of people on twitter they're like oh my god these dms are so hot so maybe it is just the kink maybe it is people actually like fantasizing about this stuff it's definitely a kink i mean we know that right but then i also saw something else of this girl that had slept with him that she had crazy like bruises around her neck because he was like super okay and and i guess they like didn't use a safe word or some [ __ ] like that and i again i don't know if this is real or not this is just twitter surface level twitter observations right yeah that's good that's what i'm saying territory there wait what are the lines where where does it stop being a kink like if you're this guy that feels like he's on top of the world and you can do whatever you want just [ __ ] message girls to this [ __ ] and not think someone's gonna screenshot it eventually you know yeah like then does that tran i don't know is that like i think the real life where you're like i can i can do whatever yeah i think the line was like when he let his son suck his toe i think that's when we should have known this fool is not right yeah it's a different kind of weird though that's more of a tom brady weird no cause you know tom no you know there's a lot of argument about kissing kissing your children on the lips you know people that still do that but that kid's gonna have some weird freudian foot [ __ ] when he grows up do you think he even knows what he did i blame army he no he doesn't consciously know but that's gonna leave a subconscious thing where he's gonna like seek out partners with giant giant [ __ ] hairy feet you know toes bigger than bigger than his head yeah bro that that to me is crazy picture you got a son you letting your son suck your toe i mean oh are you asking me yeah i'm asking you no like it it'd be like a like when your dog kisses you're like stop you know son starts if you're like on the thing on your on the couch on your phone your son starts you know sucking down on your on one of your little piggies i'm not saying i'm not going honey get the phone this is hilarious i'm not doing that i'm going get the [ __ ] thing out of your mouth it's my toe you sick little perv king shaming your [ __ ] one-year-old you [ __ ] little freak get away from me you [ __ ] degenerate heathen what are you doing oh that is depraved little [ __ ] demon get away from me you twist a little demon calling your kid a [ __ ] freak for sucking your [ __ ] it's so brutal that's my toe you [ __ ] freak a little perv sick little [ __ ] you creep get off my [ __ ] foot creep yeah what is wrong with you little creep [ __ ] one-year-old son creepy little [ __ ] creepy little [ __ ] it's always sucking on my toe yeah my son's a total creep in the corner playing you're like watch out for this one man definitely definitely wear socks this one's a [ __ ] creep over there is 100 a sicko yeah i think he's 100 a cannibal or something that's a sick little [ __ ] dude my kid is [ __ ] up in the head man seriously your kid's just teething naturally you see him see that i know he's thinking about feet it's [ __ ] disgusting watch this watch this hey junior what do you think about a toe look at him crawling already look at that looking gross oh [ __ ] disgusting depraved little idiot look at him so sick how did i have such a [ __ ] up kid honey can you bring me a glass of blood you take the edge off her creep ass son is freaking me the [ __ ] out hi i'm army hammer and i'm 100 accountable for me hammer and i'm 100 again timothy i want to drink your blood from your ass after you are dead cut off your head and drain your blood into your ass and drink it like a body shot through your ass crack your dead ass crack i want to cut off your dead boobs and suck on your dead boobs oh [ __ ] i would have eaten that peach if you had if you had eaten it and then i could eat ass cheeks that peach would have tasted a lot better if it had eyes in it what a sick [ __ ] man i feel you know i hope i hope it's not true i really hope it's not yeah i know me too but but it kind of seems like who i don't know who would make this up what a weird thing to make up i'm just thinking about him at regular ass [ __ ] people getting bloody mary's and his [ __ ] his just like that that part of him is just going crazy just thinking like that is real [ __ ] blood oh yeah give me a bloody mary oh my god this thing is red yeah can i get it extra bloody oh that makes me so hard i don't even know why it makes me so hard thinking about the blood and having it extra bloody and then you know [ __ ] your brain [ __ ] your brains out cutting a hole in your [ __ ] chest and [ __ ] your heart to pieces we gotta stop yeah let's stop it's too good though holy [ __ ] man i am i am one of the cannibal though he needs to make that a t-shirt i'm 100 accountable it'd be really good if he was just like now that i have your attention get out and vote no it's the whole the whole thing is a big a big [ __ ] play for like a plant-based lifestyle that's what it is yeah yeah he's gonna come out the [ __ ] beyond burger i love the idea of eating live animals just like the rest of you but maybe we could make a better change in live animals oh man oh dude he just comes out with his own [ __ ] beyond burger and uh he like appeals he appeals to that murder without guilt ladies and gentlemen i'm sure you're having a great time listening to the podcast but we just want to quickly take a moment to talk to you about stamps.com all right what could you do this year with extra time and money well one thing we learned in 2020 is that the internet is even more awesome than we thought groceries online movies online doctor visits online and of course go to the post office online with stamps.com stamps.com allows businesses to do all of their mailing and shipping right from their computer no need to leave their home or office or home office that's right we used it before we use it to ship a bunch of posters out and it could could not have been more seamless and easy stamps.com brings the services of the us postal service and ups right to your computer wherever you are stamps.com is a must-have for any business especially now that everything is remote uh it is a lifesaver whether you're a small office sending out invoices an online seller shipping out orders or even a giant warehouse sending thousands of packages a day stamps.com can handle it all with ease with stance.com you get five cents off every first class stamp and up to 40 off priority mail and up to 62 off ups shipping rates all right not to mention it's a fraction of the cost of those expensive postage meters all right sams.com is a no-brainer saves you time money and over 900 000 small businesses use it already so you know why not join the crowd so make 2021 the year you stop wasting time going to the post office and go to stamps.com instead there's no risk and with our promo code tmg you get a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a digital scale no long-term commitments or contracts just go to stamps.com click on the microphone on the top of the home page and type in tmg that's stamps.com promo code tmg stamps.com never go to the post office again again um okay i'm gonna change the subject here i want to talk about uh tesla fanboys it's just hard switch dude i have to because i just came came upon this image yeah upon this image that you sent this one right here oh this yeah this tweet man if you're listening on audio all right basically it's a dude doing a gender reveal on i don't know what the [ __ ] this is like his 10 acre vineyard or some [ __ ] it looks like a green screen yeah i don't even know if it's real but it's him and his lady and they're holding up the uh sonogram is that what it's called yeah probably you know holding up they're holding up like the photo booth reel of their [ __ ] embryo and um they're they're posted up on their model 3 and next to it is a baby blue miniature uh what is that model class model s yeah and that's their gender reveal and then he he posted it and then he replied to his own tweet and said at elon musk sponsor my unborn child my man that is that like is that like some code for like you know you sponsor my unborn child like the tesla cult [ __ ] for like [ __ ] my wife yeah maybe maybe it's code for something elon i'd love it if you sponsored my unborn child yes i could sponsor you how do you like tesla that much it's a [ __ ] i mean it's like really a lifestyle for these people it's like they [ __ ] love tesla they love buying tesla stock they love talking about tesla it's like teslas are cool but like it's just a [ __ ] car and you know what you know what i can hear already what i did you [ __ ] like the fast and furious and all like you're really into cars it's the same thing it's not it's not the same thing it's not really yeah it's not really nothing because if you're like a little tuner head or a gear head or or you know petrol ed typically you get so into the into your car because you work on it you build it you save your money you buy parts for it you make it faster it like becomes a part of you because you put energy into it these shits came out like and they're just to me it's like loving a roomba and creating a community around a roomba it's just oh my god it's revolutionizing cleaning and you know just the whole home care space it's like how do you give a [ __ ] that much yeah yeah it's like at least at least i guess in other car um spaces it's like there's a lot of variety like people get into the differences between cars and the ones faster and one's not and the mods you can do every tesla is the same everyone is just collectively waiting for the next software update for them to be different right and i i admit the software updates are [ __ ] cool like kelsey's dad was just showing me his his one they just did an update where you can now play music out like on external speakers in your car nice so when you like play fart sounds and you make your like honk sound different yeah it's teslas for like zany little quirky [ __ ] like that that make them different from other boring cars but that's it that's as far as it goes no that's definitely a reason to like start a podcast and buy three of them and tesla t-shirts and hats and you know fingerless gloves yeah tesla underwear tesla socks tesla tequila gotta you know smash that tesla flanking lit uh tesla's shoes tesla condoms yes even when i'm [ __ ] dude even when i'm [ __ ] i know elon's not too far away you know elon is gonna [ __ ] put out a vibrator you just know yeah he's just so deep in the battery game yeah he's gonna well we figured when you're sitting around at the charging station some people find that they fall down the back seats and like to enjoy each other's company so we came up with a sort of self-pleasure mechanism in the car so we've partnered with sybian and we've actually put the nub in the trunk so when you follow down all the seats your wife can ride and she can literally [ __ ] the car or you can yeah wow that's wonderful have you ever had elk meat why yes i have a live i actually cut open an elk army hammer thanks for joining me army hammer good to see you buddy good to see you yeah you know i'm man crazy world crazy world right now man what do you think about everything that's going on right now well i'm just excited to be here because i don't know anyone else that shares such an a passion for meat like uh like oh like you do like and i know yeah you appreciate it i've seen those what you post on instagram the the few of the pig head yeah i've seen that that's yeah that's i'm more of an elk man myself you ever had elk meat oh yeah yeah oh man you throw it on the grill and get a little salt and pepper on there get inside medium rare it's brains that's how i what you're right you're an elk brain an elk brain no that's some sort of thick bro speaking of [ __ ] we should address what the hell you were saying at the top of the episode your [ __ ] is mine ah i know it's a little late now but is that that could be a but not that's a that's a solid bone zone one i feel like the chat's gonna go crazy on that one okay oh yeah that's fair we're gonna tell that one on the bottom what we should do though real quick since we got short time and we don't want to talk about it forever is that lewis hamilton post that [ __ ] baby filter post he put up oh my god i wrote that on screen okay yeah with the bucket hat dude and the [ __ ] boy necklaces like he's got three necklaces on bro he put this on his story and he cropped it and he put it on his he he put it as a static post yeah with the same the caption is the same text and then he tweeted it my [ __ ] man he obviously thought he looked like fly as hell bro the baby filter kills me what is that filter and this this angle from up here with the hand in his body just just relaxing just being casual it's it's cute you know it's like cute like he looks like alpha but he also looks like maybe he's got like a softer side you know like he's just just relaxing he says thank you all for the birthday wishes i hope i hope and pray wherever you are you are staying positive despite what's happening around us my birthday wish is peace and love to all of you out there no more pandemic and equality for all of us wait wait my birthday wishes peace and love to all of you out there no more no more pandemic and equality i don't want any any equality oh yeah yeah that's right no more pandemic and equality you needed a period in there dude i want to put a stop to a quality quality and the pandemic really dude you want equality okay give up give up 300 million dollars to us please to us you want equality give us 300 million dollars man i want that bucket hat dude i'm telling you because i believe in manifestation and if we put it into the universe and we come together i believe we can get there it's not really his voice at all sending you all love and positivity damn oh lewis he's so hot oh i'm praying as well bro this [ __ ] dude my birthday wish is peace like that is such some cult leader [ __ ] you know what i mean there's like a guy in like [ __ ] uh like laurel canyon with like a group of 15 you know pale women who take psychedelics like obsessed with them you know that's some [ __ ] he says to them well this this is the best part too okay so oh yeah birthday wish is equality right and his birthday wish is peace oh he wants he thought in his head when they said blow the candles he thought and and make a wish he thought peace and then you blow the candles let's also talk about his [ __ ] rumored requirements for him to race another [ __ ] year four year 200 million dollar salary okay 50 mil a year doesn't end there no no he wants 10 of mercedes winnings which is a [ __ ] ton of money [ __ ] ton of money let me google that real quick how much did f1 mercedes win 2020 um constructor's title how much money does the winning team get a hundred million so he just wants another just another 10 million on top just a little sprinkle that on he also wants the limited production amg one car which to me sounds like you know that's like a driver's version of their own shoe he wants his own shoe okay um and then this is the best a role that goes beyond being a driver and more than a mere testimonial what even is that in the context of a formula one card what do you want to be like what is that what else is there i mean cody was saying he wants to be the only music artist that can mention amg and music anymore like they every [ __ ] rapper gets a cease and desist and only lewis can talk about mercedes cars unless he gets a little percentage yeah yeah yes he has to get a little royalty he's got to be cut in you want to talk about mercedes like that i don't see i don't see it's weird i don't see peace on here at all maybe they cropped it was there a fifth bullet point that said yes it's just peace and and also equality as well equality as well now you can want those things in 200 million you can want both yeah you can want equality and also 200 million dollars yeah why not why not it's fair yeah bro i just i can't like the great part is is ever since i started bringing this [ __ ] on the podcast the small amount of f1 fans we have they're always like sending me his stories and they go man this has completely changed the way i look at this dude the amount of shirtless running story posts that guy has yeah like he's got more than todd smith in a in a month like shout out todd todd you do your thing you run it's a genuine thing you're like i'm out here on a run but louis i'm surprised that guy doesn't have that [ __ ] phone on like a like some kind of like gopro rig from his waist yeah yeah he can run too armed yeah pull his hair back it's [ __ ] hot up here yeah in monaco where i don't pay taxes on my hundreds of millions of earnings [ __ ] i want world peace i've just been thinking about how badly i want world peace that's nice up here in monaco i wish all of you could see this he just i wish i wish i wish everyone in the world lived in monaco and we were so they could see them they could see the world like i do they could see the peace brewing on the other side of the sun and he gets a [ __ ] literally a thousand dms every time oh my god lewis oh my god fly me to monaco i mean a monaco oh my god ew you know he's reading those like yeah [ __ ] disgusting he's just so judgmental look at this [ __ ] swamp donkey that just dm'd me [ __ ] disgusting he like immediately look at him absolute monster ew i think she has three eyes look at her look at her look at this [ __ ] she's wearing glasses [ __ ] disgusting this [ __ ] thinks i'd fly to monaco bro i wouldn't fly her [ __ ] home it's just [ __ ] rude as [ __ ] just super shitty oh [ __ ] she's a two [ __ ] pukes in my mouth this [ __ ] orc that just oh [ __ ] oh look at this fantastic four villain right here look at this [ __ ] oh my god you need the avengers to work on her jesus christ look at that wow all right guys all right that's it oh see you guys in the bond zone i want world peace ew it's a [ __ ] zero god how are there people this ugly absolute goblin [ __ ] little gargoyle i'm absolute goblin holy [ __ ] all right guys we'll see you in the bone zone remember world peace as long as you're hot also i'm 100 accountable yeah and don't be ugly all right

Channel: Tiny Meat Gang

Views: 266,869

Rating: 4.9522328 out of 5

Keywords: Armie, Hammer, Cannibal, 100%, Elon, Musk, Crypto, bitcoin, btc, Sweetwater, Hacker, Lewis, Hamilton, F1

Id: I_Iu8MwCbiA

Length: 69min 23sec (4163 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 15 2021