Episode 149 - Memes for Money

what's up guys welcome to the tmg podcast this is actually today's episode today's free episode but if you want uh the bonus episode that went up today as well you can find that on our patreon that's patreon.com tinymeatgang and uh the free episode will be ad free as well on there so uh and if not thanks and enjoy this one peace peace sorry someone asked that we bring it back what clapping at the start yeah hey happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday dude that's what they wanted to bring back happy birthday how was it um it was good um let's we can just break up every gap in the yeah that's gonna be our new thing uh uh beaven bevin instead of likes we're doing moaning now that'll be the word that'll be the crux as we think about something yeah count the moans [ __ ] yeah look at this these guys can't stop moaning look i counted the number of moans here's an edit of them [Laughter] i'm mostly frustrated because i get so turned on while watching and listening to this podcast i can't get anything in my day done because i'm just so horny from all the moaning they're doing every time we laugh we should end it with a moan [Laughter] you pulled your [ __ ] [Laughter] i pulled [Laughter] oh yeah i was going stop we're gonna we're gonna lose so many listeners especially after the last episode with the with the with the ball smashing [ __ ] oh yeah yeah you the fact that nema had to text us about it oh my god i know oh and actually tell the people about um aiden um oh my oh my god so i made the joke about our producer aiden being able to get you whatever and i said something about two owls and he literally no you said you said you said if we wanted an owl he would have he would text us within minutes being like okay i got i got two options i got this one and this one i'm forgetting did he did he um oh what's it what did he do was he texting another person no he texted us he said heard you guys needed an owl i got two options i thought it was for some reason i thought it was like a screenshot of him texting another person but yeah basically he [ __ ] sent us two owls within like an hour of the podcast going up oh my no yeah no it was it was a screencap of him texting someone else and it was yes we have oh no he texted his owl connect yeah he texted me he said nemo said someone needs an owl what do you want i've got sammy and henry too legitimate look at that there's sammy and then there's henry dude come on focus that's too sammy and henry i could not believe that [ __ ] although my angle is looking bad here for those listening it was just it's two pictures of two beautiful beautiful beautiful owls [Laughter] sammy and henry sammy and man those are great owl names if i'm being honest those are sick owl names yeah anyway uh my birthday yeah thanks dude yeah what'd you do you're finally 22. i can't believe it man it's so crazy to finally be out of college i know you're out of college you're in the real world now it's weird like going to a bar and using a real id and like not thinking about it you know i know that's the weirdest part isn't it like oh that's 22. i don't need to fake anymore this is crazy or like going to the liquor store and they look at you kind of like are you 21 and then you hand them your id and you're like i am because you know you're like [ __ ] you for judging me yeah i'm i'm actually 22 you [ __ ] [ __ ] not only am i 21. i have an extra one on it yeah and like you're going to saddle ranch and stuff now i mean yeah all the time i'm just chilling at saddle ranch yeah yeah big chilling like saddle ranch it's like the best place to go to pretty much the hype house yeah for sure dude i've seen like videos i think like the hollywood fix videos or something of they all go to boa's steakhouse and they go to saddle ranch two of the most like congested [ __ ] restaurants yeah both equally miserable dude they're they're uh power and water got shut off do you see that no from having parties power and water shut off yeah cause they didn't pay their bill no because they're having parties oh damn the mayor shut off the mayor's shutting off power and water to houses that keep having parties no [ __ ] wave yeah that is some that is some like um i don't know what you would call that is that like king [ __ ] or like mafia [ __ ] i don't know if you don't [ __ ] turn it down we're going to turn off your water and power you're not going to be able to shower for a [ __ ] week i'll have this whole house stinking don't [ __ ] test me and not get a [ __ ] yeah you don't give a [ __ ] all right turn this i've won a month without showering i don't care [Laughter] yeah i haven't showered right now everybody every gamer is like well you guys keep your water on yeah yeah i don't know exactly i've paid for water in years i only turn it on when i take my annual shower yeah who [ __ ] it's one day the year where all gamers go outside and they go to one gigantic shower then all that dirt is like all the dirt and sweat is collected to build it's like it creates the the material for the mold for the next ninja and no that's what no that's what g fuel is made out of oh yeah it's like in fight club how the soap is made from the x the extra fat from like the liposuction am i remembering that correctly um i don't know is that what it was honestly dude i i saw fight club so long ago i'm 58 years old i can't remember anything from that movie pretty sure that's what happens yes they steal they steal the x or the excess fat that's uh trashed by the liposuction clinic and they make soap out of it and sell it back to people right yes so that's how they make g fuel it's all the the gamer dirt from the year they're built up from their one shower on christmas that they all take and then they just add high fructose corn syrup to drink uh to go alongside it dude it's so funny did you bring a boa uh this does relate to my birthday because one year elena took me there to blow a steakhouse yeah and it you know it was it was like kind of earlier on we were dating so um i mean it was you know it's still a big deal but i guess like at that point in time i hadn't been to too many steakhouses so you know we're pretty we're pretty hyped we're like man you know steakhouse blah blah blah and then just like steakhouse vibes yeah you know just big steakhouse vibes lola vibes and big hype house vibes so then dude like 10 minutes into the meal this couple comes in next to us they're [ __ ] destroyed oh yeah like i told you about they're [ __ ] wasted and they just get into an argument and like the argument led on like they were like kind of broken up but not really and the dude was barefoot like i just noticed that at the end or like he had like he took his sandals off at some point i don't know he's wearing sandals to a [ __ ] steakhouse dude it was sloppy as hell i could not believe it but is that is that not the norm for boa because i've never been there and i feel like the only impression i have is people's stories and they're always [ __ ] up and there's always sparklers going on people are celebrating something there and it just makes me think that it's like cabo cantina it's not actually no i mean that's that's the part where we clowned ourselves because first of all we thought like there's going to be this [ __ ] dress code it's the one in santa monica and it's like by the piers so you know they're probably getting tourists all the time so they're not turning down like you know people in shorts and [ __ ] being like i i didn't know there was a threshold they're like that's fine we're gonna [ __ ] destroy your wallet come on in yeah so you're you're how drunk yeah get on in here the sides are made for they're very small you should order 47 of them yeah oh you're hammered dude you're definitely going to need two steaks yeah yeah yo big new york strip vibes yeah i i hate you know what i hate when you go to steakhouse and you're like how big is that and like they make like a like a like they'll with their hand they'll be like it's about this big and you're like yeah that seems right and then i don't know i always feel like it shows up and you're like that's not that's way too much maybe i don't know yeah sometimes i feel like they just lie to me like like they're just like exaggerating like oh the 16 ounce yeah it's maybe like a golf ball they're like free for you though bud looks like you need to eat you need to eat some meat yeah they're just looking like well nah man you definitely needed 20. yeah yeah it'll be good for you trust me yeah yeah but yeah um no birthday was cool we just uh we just you know ordered some food and kicked it and that was pretty much it i did a little work that was it man it was nothing crazy nice yeah i debated like doing another little cart sesh but i'm glad i didn't because i did not want to deal with that [ __ ] pain for the next five days oh yeah did you go to the park or anything i did yeah we went to a park um and we tried to and then for some reason like ollie got super anxious about uh uh i was just like i think he was like over overly stimulated because there weirdly the park was cracking on a wednesday was it it was kind of popping for a wednesday i was like okay this is this is where this is where it happens now and what ollie was freaking out he wasn't like freaking out like he just wouldn't sit still we try to you know we try to just have a little picnic it's not the worst yeah like just lay the [ __ ] down yeah no really it's for our all of our own goods just relax yeah and you know and he was bugging out and he just kept trying to run away and there was something about the spot we were at that he just didn't like and then we tried to move him to another spot and he's he started his attention was just going crazy so we said [ __ ] it and we we went to another park where he finally calmed down triple park double double it was double park double park okay yeah yeah yeah oh you moved to another spot in the first park right right right yeah yeah oh and then you park hopped yeah then we park hopped yeah yeah yeah that's park that's what partying now that's what partying now that's what partying is now with with coronavirus so everyone's just park hopping dude and all the parks got like almost most parks were like memorials to people which is [ __ ] hilarious yeah dude uh pull up to richard b hopkins sports park we're by the swing set it's closed so just turn up dude big park vibes seriously pull up it's [ __ ] dumb litty at this memorial park richard b hopkins yo come through to the um to the um uh uh to the sky beach gated community just hop the fence in the back we're at children's park number two no one no one's even here dude it's so chill just take the exit for the uh janet lamina cemetery we're right beside the cemetery pull up dude we're playing spike ball too we're playing for you you're you see people play playing spike ball no we're not what the [ __ ] is nobody no i'm not there not there no it was it was more like um it was the vibe was kind of more like um you know everyone was like kind of huddled over their food and he's like looking around and they're like is anybody else [ __ ] up here is it cool if i just is it cool if we crack this fourth bottle of rose you know people are [ __ ] up because when they leave and they take they put their bag over the shoulder it's like cling cling cling cling seven wine bottles in there banging against each other what's that that's somebody's mom somebody's mom throwing that [ __ ] over her [ __ ] don't sit over her shoulder looking like a pirate with all these empty bottles and one eye open just [ __ ] walking like she has a peg leg because she's so [ __ ] up just bottles for sale y'all never be as [ __ ] up as me uh i'm so [ __ ] up i got scurvy dude is your mom all right yeah dude she's just in peg leg mode it's always [ __ ] up when she goes to peg leg mode [Laughter] oh my god that's so funny dude i'm getting so [ __ ] up tonight i'm gonna be captain jack sparrow just so flirting with people's girlfriends and disappearing abruptly no just putting on eyeliner okay yeah that's it let me get so [ __ ] up i'm gonna put on eyeliner and i already come out randomly sick man you look like chris angel that's [ __ ] tight no dude you're dressed like super [ __ ] corporate just like biz cash but you just put on the eyeliner and act like nothing happened what's good oh did did your girlfriend oh no no i did that just real quick yeah why i don't know man it's just a you know kind of in the mood get crazy yeah company get together why why not my rockstar persona kind of comes out we need to i'm telling you man it'd be so funny if we went somewhere and got accepted for a corporate gig like nobody knew who we were which is easy and we just we work there for like a week and we do this [ __ ] and we make we make our own reality tv show out of it just go to a meeting with eyeliner on [Laughter] all right we want to introduce our uh uh two new recruits on our dev team uh cody and noelle we just look up from the deck hey what's up oh what's good what's happening oh you got a little yeah yeah yeah yeah it's our thing it'd be funny to like go full goth but not the main outfit like have the blue just the face shirt and the yeah the the khakis and then you're wearing like fishnet it's on your arms [Laughter] an eyeliner and like a lip piercing what's good hey i'm sorry i can't take you oh what what my my expression is is weird to you this is how i express no anyway um i'm still thinking about pirate mom yeah i never [ __ ] my husband no matter how drunk i is her husband in the corner like yeah here she goes again yeah mom give me your keys i'm the captain of this ship give me your [ __ ] keys mom [Laughter] [ __ ] hell yeah the dad the dad just yeah it's true it won't even let me hit the poop deck nope no poop deck always off limits it's been been a dream of mine for years but never going to happen yep even now never fellas let me tell you something just drunk talking to those kids friends find you a woman who lets you go on the poop deck okay okay who lets you clean the poop deck okay anything on the poop deck because i don't oh god forbid i asked her to walk the plank oh god here we go [Laughter] here we go she hasn't walked my plank in years is what would could walking the plank be like a nice you know covert name for uh getting a foot job i think it means that she's literally walking on his boner okay yeah just like a cirque du soleil act or is it is it more aggressive like she's stomping his dick nothing let's not bring this back all right how much do you get not your balls your dick stomped am i hard or not bucks [Laughter] wow that took no convincing straight straight away yeah go ahead yeah 200 bucks yeah i mean could that be a nice little covert hey you want to want to walk the plank tonight yeah i'm totally down yeah i think that means foot job probably it could it could mean a foot job yeah guys i want to interrupt this episode real quick to ask you a quick question are you hydrated are you hydrated right now tell me look me in the eye and tell me if you're hydrated or not i know that the vast majority of you are not okay because dehydration occurs daily in three out of four people but with liquid iv the sponsor of this episode you have the fastest most efficient way to stay hydrated each serving helps you get as much hydration as two to three bottles of water i swear to god i drink this stuff every day i love it it actually keeps me hydrated because i'm one of those three or three out of four people that do not drink water because it's boring and i hate it because it's boring but liquid iv tastes fantastic it makes makes me feel better it really does makes my skin look better and i love it i really do i go out for a surf and i come back and i house one of those i'm about to drink one right now actually and then i just am good for the rest of the day [Music] one serving of liquid iv provides the same hydration as drinking two to three bottles of water already said that why is it on here twice contains five essential vitamins more vitamin c than than an orange and as much potassium as a banana it's healthier than sugary sports drinks no artificial flavors or preservatives and less sugar than an apple uh it's non-gmo vegan free of gluten dairy and soy what makes it so effective cellular transport technology that sounds like some stuff that we don't understand but you just have to trust it because it sounds scientific right liquid iv is available nationwide at costco and target or you can get 25 off when you go to liquidity.com and use code tmg at checkout that's 25 off anything you order when you use promo code tmg at liquidity.com that's liquidity.com promo code tmg anyway yeah sorry par yeah okay but the park made me want to turn up at a park like that's what i'm saying yeah what's the what's the last park turn up you did uh i'm last couple weeks ago when we saw that proposal your life wasn't really a turn up but you're like yesterday um last saturday yeah yeah this morning uh no that was when we saw that proposal it wasn't really a turn up wasn't really a turn up but it was like a knife of a turn up no we were on the beach last weekend and there was people like full-on partying like tents with 40 people bro and like now it used to be so regular but i i think i drove by doc weiler like a couple weeks ago and just seeing that many people out on a beach i just like i don't know if i'm reprogrammed but i just like it freaking the [ __ ] out i'm like ah they're all gonna die yeah i mean like i'm talking people actually you know what a couple days ago i was surfing there was a silent rave on the beach there must have been a hundred people there all dancing with each other no masks nothing isn't silent they all have headphones like they all have headphones on yeah so they're all touching the [ __ ] headphones and probably been worn by a million other people and everyone like they seemed like they were [ __ ] up i don't silent raves are weird because it could be on one hand i'm like oh these people are definitely on ecstasy is the weirdest looking thing on earth and then on the other hand it could be like a really meditative thing for these people like they almost seemed way too sober at the same time like they all sat down at the exact same time when the sun hit the horizon and they all started meditating and feeling the sand together oh man oh that's that's crazy because yeah that's so [ __ ] up that you're in unison [ __ ] up yeah that's what yeah exactly [Laughter] like normally it would be past the water like what's what's let's go i'm hungry but no no now these people were just cult cult-like you're part of the community now it was [ __ ] weird but kind of cool at the same time hey it'd be so funny to like a group of dudes that [ __ ] coachella take an ecstasy and it just unifies them and the whole night they're doing everything in sync like just this is like a conga line no matter where they go just left hand pump right hand pump they all drink water at the same time it's like the ecstasy just syncs them up like in the weirdest way and they they don't move like fluid it's like it's kind of like stuttery i think that he's sick of drugs did that yeah me my boy about to sync up just fist pumping at the exact same time check this [ __ ] out dude oh no one of you can take over for the other yeah so like your brain is tired but your body can be controlled by dude i'm [ __ ] up it's all right man i got you dude what are you doing what i'm touching myself yeah but like i'm touching myself yeah i've been jerking off for 30 minutes dude you want to tap in i can't make myself come [Laughter] dude one one of you is one of them is awake like smashing some girl from the festival and then the other one wants to go to sleep but and he doesn't have anyone to [ __ ] so he's just [ __ ] the air in the other room tired being like dude wrap it up dude please [Laughter] who is that just my boy i'm controlling him it's kyle i'm controlling we're dialed in he starts punching his own balls his buddy punches his own balls to [ __ ] stop hitting yourself stop hitting yourself ow ow ow ow stop hitting yourself stop hitting yourself i didn't want to finger my own oh it's my boy kyle he's controlling me stop putting in your mouth stop peeing in your own mouth why are you peeing in your own mouth and the drug is called voodoo oh there it is voodoo doll yeah what are you guys doing this weekend i was gonna take some voodoo man [Laughter] [ __ ] with each other's bodies i'm just gonna take voodoo and explore each other's bodies but like with the with the with the voodoo yeah with the voodoo but like separate rooms yeah it's like a glory hole but you're on both sides it's kind of sick anyways yeah park hopping um yes that's cool um i'm looking at what else the [ __ ] we got going on kind of no i mean it was kind of a kind of a lot of interesting [ __ ] this [ __ ] warner paying for 85 million dollars for a meme company dude so much interesting news this week that is [ __ ] crazy to me and i'm pretty sure it's the kid that made daquan that's so wild dude i mean is he even a kid at this point anymore uh let's see wouldn't he be just an adult so this is actually also this is like the second uh big acquisition like this the the last one was the guy remember remember christian was telling us when we were recording um what song was it i forget but he was telling us that roxanne by arizona service yeah he put that out independently and he he paid this tick tock promotion company called flight club yeah yep yeah flight club just got bought by by another music label for how much for like tens of millions of dollars yeah bro this is this is it they're just buying their way in and now anything that was organic about tick tock i mean it's already not organic but now especially it's just gonna be rammed down your throat yeah but i mean like that that one like that kid it's just funny because i feel like that is more of like a legit company right but then i read this article about this meme company getting bought for 85 million dollars and it makes me so depressed oh yeah yeah not to say this kid didn't work hard right but something about memes just should never involve money dude there is a there is a medical startup right now that could probably fix something really important that is struggling to get five million dollars yeah yeah yes yeah oh you're telling us he made dequan uh how's 100 million sound buddy wait the weekend follows that account and drake here's 85 million dollars just so they can poke some post something that drake will see drake will probably not see because dude if drake is on instagram looking at memes that's actually hilarious he definitely is dude he's like a 19 year old kid i mean that's true yeah in between uh he's like i can imagine the interviews like yeah everyone thinks i'm on instagram just like looking at girls and [ __ ] but i'm not i'm just looking at memes like all it's all me and my boys do is send each other memes i don't know we don't even be dming girls like that we just want to trade memes with each other that is so wild bro i found the dude what's his name barack shrigai oh yeah he's right there brands need to be willing to trade in their gen z currency of next-gen content much of which they don't understand that's arj such [ __ ] buzzword-y [ __ ] for old people yeah this is this is yeah next gen content dude it's just tick-tock it's just no this guy is earlier than that i mean yeah like the [ __ ] jerry days like da i mean who who i you know i don't really feel like meme accounts anymore i feel like they're all the ones that people actually enjoy are like the niche ones yeah like [ __ ] you know like drilled and yeah exactly if you want to see people die that's a good one yeah or you know it's like yeah random ass usernames i think i think i mean hey listen good for the kid man i it's everyone's dream to make a meme account and then five years later make 85 million dollars yeah yeah totally he didn't do anything wrong i mean whatever but just you know it's just absurd just capitalism bro it [ __ ] everything up man yeah dude exactly man that's what i'm saying why couldn't everything just be lower case oh that's my new lap that sounds like you're taking this [ __ ] actually sounds like a wet ass dookie oh my god that sounds like the poop deck right there yeah exactly listen guys there's been a lot of stuff in 2020 that you know we haven't been able to control right but you know what you can't control the way that your bush looks and you can do that with manscaped the sponsor of this episode um the manscaped lawnmower 3.0 is a premium electric trimmer that's designed to give you a confidence boost through body image their ceramic blade and skin safe technology are designed to reduce nicks or tugs or on your fellas down low the lawnmower 3.0 is also waterproof and comes with an led light so you can manscape in the shower in the dark or in a dark shower whatever floats your boat maybe you go in the dark shower to meditate or something like that well you can meditate and then you can trim your [ __ ] gonads dude they also just released their shears 2.0 nail kit which is the perfect add-on to their lawnmower 3.0 trimmer on their website you'll also find the crop preserver an anti-chafing ball deodorant and moisturizer this will help you tame that summer swamp ass with natural hydrators and antioxidants i love this [ __ ] copy dude i really do in fact listeners of the show will get 20 off and free shipping with the code tmg 20 at manscaped.com that's 20 off with free shipping at manscape.com and use code tmg20 it's time to grab 2020 by the horns by shaving that front trunk that's good and then and then uh in in more pop culture celebrity news ryan reynolds sold sold his gin company for 610 million dollars that is so wild dude which also makes me depressed oh yeah because it just hit you now that we're gonna be working forever [Laughter] no it's not that it's more i hate when i hate when when one person is so good at everything um like every like nobody has a bad thing to say about ryan reynolds you know besides him having his wedding at a a plantation and green lantern what about that the movie green lantern is it bad i've never seen it yeah yeah but that's before he was like popping i feel like he figured himself out i mean yeah well that's the thing i think he did that film and then he had like like a [ __ ] huge gap like six seven years of just nothing and then he got deadpool to happen and that's what like kick-started everything else guys he reinvented himself yeah okay but yeah he's winning it's all wins oh yeah you know or like um imagine you know you stream like six hours a week and you really care about you know the content you're putting out and you know you're you hit a solid sub goal and you're like damn i hit that that's crazy and then tim the tatman just uh beats fall guys which you know you did on your birthday just because you felt like doing it and you won one but he got um 50 000 to do that [Laughter] yeah that's explain to the people what you're talking about i'm so bitter and it's it's fine because to to be fair tim has been streaming forever and i'm not really that angry about it but it is very a very ridiculous thing so tin tatman ninja's ninja's number one guardian angel this is ninja's bro he uh was playing this new game fall guys which if you haven't played it it's like um it's like a leap frog game on the computer and um you played it last night yeah so much fun so frustrating yeah yeah no it's definitely it's definitely entertaining um yeah i'm not hating on the game at all so tim is frustrated because he had like 646 games and he hadn't won a single one which to be fair i could see how you could go that far and lose um i can't relate because i have just you know procured to crown myself just want to make that clear i have one once okay and as a winner you know i'm speaking from experience that it's not that bad but no really so he set out to stream yesterday to win and um he finally did and someone gifted like a thousand subs or something it just like it just the whole thing went off the rails like his sub count number was just like a um it was like a lottery [ __ ] counter like it just kept going up up up up up up up up up up up up i think he picked up like 10 000 subs in that one sitting or like no but didn't sam say that one person donated a [ __ ] ton yeah sam said someone donated 8 000 subs but that didn't seem right or maybe that maybe that's what happened i don't know but um so how many subs did he pick up in total easily 10 000. 10 000 subs so he made 30k no dude if you if you conservatively average each sub is five bucks right and some of them might have been more something could have been 10 or 15 and someone could have did tier threes like you just don't know so so he yeah it's like 50k yeah 50k jesus christ can you imagine beating fall guys after just a couple hours of playing casually and then you get fifty thousand dollars holy [ __ ] it took me i don't know how long to get even to where i'm at and this dude did it in seven hours i'm like that's so wild that that that happens now yeah someone donated a thousand subs to a [ __ ] millionaire just because that's how much he likes his content oh wait let me be very clear i'm i'm not i'm not bitter i'm not that bitter about it because i know someone's gonna be like you just sound jealous i'm not because no but that's no but i'm listen i'm happy to admit that when i read this article about ryan reynolds i am [ __ ] envious and i'm jealous and i'm bitter because i'm a bad person because i all i feel is envy selling a [ __ ] liquor company for 610 million dollars yeah dude oh yeah yeah and being super hot and funny i'm [ __ ] jealous he hit the you know what i'm saying you want to [ __ ] ryan reynolds i don't want i want to i want to voodoo him oh you want to voodoo him i want to take voodoo and jerk myself off you put on a vr headset and you get to voodoo ryan reynolds that's gonna be cameo in 2030. all right i'm doing voodoos all day today um 100 a minute that's only fans yeah and and yeah basically but only fans is you know still in the primitive state where you have to manually request to that person hey yeah do this to yourself in the future it'll be straight up voodooing it'll be you know oh you know that you know when guys were like dude what would you do if you had a pair pair of breasts for a day well you'll get to voodoo and find out exactly what you would do if you had a sick pair of bazingas that'll probably happen honestly with vr like oh yeah you already have you already have flesh lights that are molded after porn stars yeah and dildos yeah both of them yeah why wouldn't you be able to plug into vr and either like be that person or [ __ ] them sorry i just have to tangent for just a quick second because [ __ ] i don't wanna uh yeah you know what yeah frost from the mob [ __ ] you man for that [ __ ] you retweeted last night [ __ ] you i'm on twitter minding my [ __ ] business this boy frost retweets a dude doing dumbbell curls with his dick out and [ __ ] you twitter for auto playing video cause i'm scrolling and all i see as i'm scrolling is a dude hitting the top of the rep and his [ __ ] boner coming up with it and then dropping it back down i'm like what the [ __ ] is this that's funny no it was hilarious that's straight up funny was he curling with his boner yeah they get a little weight on it uh nah it was it was just you know it was b it was a body weight workout for the dick little chin up the dick dick ups that's what it is it was dick it was a it was a clean dick up yeah well i'm repping dick ups today at the gym what are you what are you doing at the gym today chess no i'm doing dick doing dick yeah yeah oh dick like you're gonna hook up with something no no no i'm just working on my dick yeah heavy dick wraps today yeah okay i gotta shock my body you know uh we're doing uh doing lightweight a lot of reps you know gains aren't really coming through on the dick so you know it's got to switch it up uh anyway um i'm kidding by the way i'm not envious i'm a little bit envious i'm a little bit envious i'm a little bit jealous yeah how could you not be no yeah that's human you know look i don't know ryan reynolds i can't be like oh he's my friend i'm just happy for him right yeah because in this time in this case you know it kind of is a zero-sum game you know dude there's not that many liquor companies that can sell you know dude just speaking of like vr ar or whatever you know how people will you know i've heard stories of people bailing on a tinder date because they match with someone else that they like better like in the area or something right yeah i'm just picturing how much easier that's going to be with like ar goggles like when when google releases their ray-ban partnered ar goggles and you're just dealing with someone on a date like oh yeah yeah yeah and they just slowly lift up their sunglasses and you're like what are you doing oh no i'm just you know the sun in my face and then they just get a dm as they're as you're trying to talk to them they're like ah yeah they're like all right well hey man it was nice that you're doing it to me no i'm not doing it you're doing numb i don't know i'm just i'm just gonna go i'm just gonna get out of here it's nice to meet you bye see you later one and done oh no i thought you i think you're gonna say they just changed the person at the table to be the other person like just to look like them because nothing's real like oh well if you have ar goggles they could just do a little like a little snapchat animation of the other person just dancing on the table i thought you were saying like re-skin the other person i was saying that but it would be funny if it was just like a shittier version like a little bonsai buddy yeah those who you really want to see dancing on the table just to like keep you at bay while you're on a bad date oh my god dude [ __ ] that dates on the beach or outside will never be the same once that happens you won't be able to trust anyone it's going to be like it's going to be a compliment if they take their glasses off yeah how's the day exactly glass is completely off no way no way it's already kind of like that with coronavirus my i asked my friends my friends dating right now and i'm like how weird is it and he was like it's first of all it's super weird people have in their profiles like i have antibodies i just got tested all this stuff wow and and then he was like i met up with this girl and she wore her mask the whole time and so i wasn't really sure if she was like into it or not and then at the very end of the date she took her mask off i'm assuming because she wanted a kiss but that he read that as like okay i guess she's into she's into this it's just funny that that's an indicator now yeah that something's going well is dude she took her mask off bro she trusts me yeah dude you guys bone first date yeah dude mascot mask off dude mask off the whole time two i can't wait till they start making like um lingerie masks so when you go to hook up she's like hold on then she goes into she goes into the bathroom and then she comes out and it's got like lace and [ __ ] on it and you're like oh yeah you're like oh my god breathe into my mouth and it's like it's like lace over her lips so you can like kind of see it yeah she's like do you like it when i breathe on you you're like oh that's [ __ ] you're such a [ __ ] dirty girl you're can we do it can we do a missionary please please i want you to breathe directly into my mouth let me just do a missionary then she blasts the particles on him oh dude dude how how was it man dude she sneezed on me what no you gotta sneeze on the first date coughing directly into the mouth [Laughter] less than you going raw yeah that's oh my god so we're like or whatever you know we're like we're like rubbing noses we're kind of like trading mucus it's like really sexy and then i pull his mask down and he opens he says do it and i pull mine down and i go it was the hottest thing i've ever done in my life it was so hot i could see the little phlegm little flam bubbles someone on his face too there is someone single and lonely right now listening to this being like god what i would give for someone to cough in my mouth yeah yeah you know what gleeking is oh yeah you know gleeking is it dustin you're squirting yeah i gleaked i'm gonna gleak i'm gonna clean sounding like that just oh my god spitting up like that water i'm gonna click i'm gonna click i'm gonna click spitting up like a water gun from the dentist just [ __ ] one tiny little stream like when you drop a can of soda and you're like dude you're like you're like rubbing her nose like it's her her thing and you're like she's like oh my god i'm gonna click i wanna leak and you're just like mashing on the tip of her nose just like holding it up so her lip can be held back so it just goes crazy you know that [ __ ] they do in a squirting video or they're like they're like rubbing their hand over the [ __ ] stream [Laughter] [Laughter] uh she got a dental bib on to clamp to catch all the [ __ ] spit [Laughter] dude [Laughter] quick break guys just to uh remind you that change is always constant but these days it feels like there's something new to grapple with every day we may be adjusting to this new normal but it's still stressful and it's important to talk about it and seek support talkspace online therapy is here to give you that support because we all need it right now match with a licensed therapist from the comfort of your device and reach out 24 7 whenever something's on your mind you'll hear back daily five days a week it's affordable it's it's a fraction of the cost of in-person therapy therapy but with talkspace you can send unlimited messages to your therapist and they'll engage with you at least five days a week that means you never have to wait to share what's on your mind it has a therapist network talks based therapists have experience treating depression anxiety substance abuse trauma relationship issues food and eating and much more and it's secure every conversation is private and secure using the latest encryption technology to store your information the bottom line is that we all need someone to talk to and talkspace wants to give the license support we deserve at a price we can afford as a listener of this podcast you can get 100 off your first month on talkspace to match with your perfect therapist go to talkspace.com or download the app make sure to use the code tmg to get 100 off your first month and show your support for the show that's tmg and talkspace.com thanks ladies ladies and gentlemen you're going to learn how to gleek right now because that's the new that's the new freak [ __ ] in 2021 trust me that's the new cake sitting if you want if you want to make bands on only fans start gleeking right now get ahead of the curve holy [ __ ] dude she was such a freak dude she gleeked all over me dude it was easy you know that's just pee right [Laughter] wait girls pee out of their mouths it's just pee dude so like does it like come up from the [ __ ] like i don't get how it oh my god oh man speaking of [ __ ] what's up um oh man we can't we could talk about this shia labeouf thing in the bone zone why well i mean let's talk about it it's interesting yeah but then we got this vid maybe we should do the video later yeah we'll do the video later it's a tick tock it's so funny though it's a yeah oh let's talk about this you watch david blaine on joe rogan no what was that like i loved it dude i mean i think david blaine's an interesting dude i don't think he's weird by i mean he's weird but you know well here's the thing he's first of all he's so interesting like explaining how he gets ready for all of these stunts that he does because every time he does one of these things he hasn't done one in like years right yeah remember when he used to be on tv like every year yep he would do some giant stunt yep that would just be you know everyone [ __ ] everybody would watch it yeah and then afterwards there'd be tons of articles about how he cheated and how how he didn't actually do it and all this stuff yeah so he explains like how he did most of them on joe rogan and it's really interesting right like he studies and he learns from the best people that know how to hold their breath or sleep in a coffin and all this crazy [ __ ] and he does his research and he trains really hard and everything right yeah explaining all this stuff and it's super interesting but the whole time he's like really giddy and almost like a like a like it's hard to explain he's like a giddy school girl okay like he's super like he can't stay on one topic he's super enthused joe's like not into it at all for some reason and he's like super pumped about everything but i almost feel like he's manipulating the audience almost oh it almost feels like the whole thing is a [ __ ] illusion i it's weird oh and i want to know if anyone else watched it and felt the same way it's halfway through i'm like enamored with this dude i'm like he's a great he seems like a great dude and then i'm like wait is this is he just [ __ ] with me oh you're not actually like this and maybe that was joe being like you're you're doing a bit right now i think it was i think joe like picked up on it because he he did it a couple times like joe would ask questions and the way he answered them was like a misdirection every single time he would say a half-assed answer and then move on to something else and leave you wanting more it was really [ __ ] weird uh okay i don't know i just i'm curious to see if anyone felt the same way oh i'm just insane and like you know a narcissist i just i'm not a narcissist just just um um a pessimist yeah i don't i don't want to assume the worst i mean i want to no because this guy's it's a genuinely good dude but at the same time like he's like the best magician in the world he could just always be doing a trick yeah i thought narcissism is where you i think that's people get that [ __ ] up i think narcissism is like i i thought i thought like narcissism is where it's like narcissists do stuff so they can make themselves look good but it's not like necessarily like uh oh like look at me look at me all the time like sometimes that's like maybe it's both oh i meant yeah yeah i meant i don't want to be a narcissist but i use the wrong complete word obviously but he might be one got it yeah but you're what you're saying is right because that is actually because it almost seemed like he i don't know it was like if he was playing the part of someone that you really want to watch on joe rogan yeah yeah or like or like i mean that's that's like some sociopath [ __ ] where they like you know they want to charm you into thinking like you're their friend and yeah but like they don't mean it because just to get something that they that they want which you know like i could see that happening like joe would ask him how did you get you know how one of the first questions he asked him was how did you get interested in magic in the first place and his story was so perfect and heartwarming yeah you know it was when he's like four years old and he learned a trick from someone at a camp or something and he did it to his mom and his mom was so impressed that he wanted to keep doing magic to make her feel good and i was like that is literally the best story you could have you could have answered off rip i'd be like [ __ ] what like i was like oh he's such a knight and then i was like wait a minute what this sounds like that's something i'd read in like a book you know yeah cause you when people get into entertainment it's almost never to make other people happy that's that's what i'm saying that's what i'm saying yes when you ask a comedian or an actor like what did you do they say oh man i loved it i did this and i loved the feeling it gave me which was this [ __ ] dopamine and they're like i want more of that [ __ ] yeah i want to do it every day yep yep not [ __ ] the first play i did the smile it brought to my every space exactly and everything he was talking about all of his work was all about how passionate he was in figuring out how to hold your breath and how to stay in an ice block for however long and and getting in contact with the past people who have done it and becoming friends with them and all this stuff and i want to believe it i do and if it's all true if he really is this good of a dude then i feel bad for him because that's that must be that must plague him it must be like such a burden of being a magician is that everyone thinks you're being fake all the time even if you're trying to be genuine yeah but yeah but i mean even what you're describing there like i could i could see why just based on that joe could go joe could be turned off from the conversation and think are you are you [ __ ] with me are you [ __ ] with me yeah because it's just i mean it's one thing because i don't know i would imagine like if you're like okay how'd you do that trick man you say oh okay i'll come clean so i found this guy and he does this [ __ ] and i was like that's crazy and if i can do that then i can pull it up you know what i mean not [ __ ] and i was just so impressed by these pearl divers in japan that i thought i want to be one with that activity you're like the [ __ ] out of here man you were doing this [ __ ] on tv it was kind of a mix of both all right and you gotta you gotta watch it because no no no i'm going to you gotta watch it because his newest stunt which he's gonna do on youtube live youtube pay for the whole thing he's gonna stream it on youtube it basically he's gonna grab onto helium balloons and without a parachute or anything and float over the hudson river i think i think that's where it is and then he's gonna put on a parachute and take the helium balloons as high as he can and his goal is to get to 25 000 feet or something like that so like everest are you [ __ ] kidding me no and the whole thing is gonna be on youtube live this is what i'm like i like this the guy is a i just yeah i don't understand and the whole thing was his his he was like ever since i was a kid i've loved the image of someone grabbing some helium balloons and floating into the sky right it's something we all think about as children it's like a weird dream right it's that banksy painting and it's like i don't know i guess that's not the banksy painting but you know what i'm saying it's like up yeah yeah yeah right it's this weird yeah thing and he he was she's like i've had drawings made of this and finally i found someone to pay for it so for me to do it myself and so we figured out how to do it we got registered like because they had to build an aircraft technically he had to get his hot air balloon pilot license wow for you to do all this [ __ ] wow so it seems real but at the same time it's like i don't know yeah is this a [ __ ] bit it's pretty wild you should watch it yeah i know i will um i also meant to bring this up earlier um you know close to my birthday was young doug's birthday and i know yeah cause you know troy ave had a little bit of a i just have to quote this tweet this is the funniest thing you could do what a weird way of saying i don't know anyone in this industry anymore very bizarre troy i have tweeted i [ __ ] with young thugs music a lot and i wanted to say happy birthday but i don't really know him so i don't want to feel like a dick writer question mark should i have just said it question mark like this is something for the mirror or your therapist why are you asking the public man it sounds such a it's like you just did it yeah yeah you also did it in the tweet should i just done it you just did do you think do you think rap fans are gonna be like oh young thug acknowledge troy [Laughter] acknowledge troy he said happy birthday acknowledge it acknowledge it acknowledge it respond acknowledge it respond to it respond to it he said happy birthday the response he also tagged him he tagged him at young thug music like if that showed up in my mentions i'd be like just i don't know yeah yeah dude i was crying laughing because this dude i follow quote tweeted that and he said a grown man [Laughter] a grown-ass man which is true i think troy have is he's like way older than us he's like 30 or something let me get his age and here's the thing man if you're if you're a fan of someone he's 34. damn dude 34 years old debating if you should wish someone happy birthday if you want to write a little dick right a little yeah just just write a little dig dude just get on it just just a little hop on the bounce on the boy's d no but if you're afraid to do the full bounce just you know just just a little you know just through the gym through the jeans a little bit yeah yeah give him a lap dance yeah just a little little it doesn't have to be that crazy you know it could be like a little oopsie at the club just like a little oops oh sorry was that me happy birthday yo young thug sorry to be a lap dancer but i just want to say happy birthday dude [Laughter] that's so that's hilarious yeah right if you're a fan of the guy and he doesn't know you and you don't know him write a little dick yeah just just laugh dance a little bit you know just give him nothing wrong there's nothing wrong with yeah give him a little what just just pop it for him a little bit just a little pop just little happy birthday and then you know maybe he sits back and he's like damn like the way you ride that [ __ ] yeah like the way you pop that exactly come over here wish me some more happy birthdays yeah tell me how much you love my birthday sing it to me and then and then you go well if you want that you know my price is i can take you to the back room and yeah give you all these happy birthdays dude i don't want to bring it up what it's like a clip of gunnar with like a he had like uh he had a bit of a slip i don't know how you describe it basically he was like promoting that he's going to be in chicago okay you know he was like oh man i'm gonna be in chicago drip god's gonna be there so he goes i'm gonna he's like counting some money while he's saying that he's like i'm getting all the sexy ladies to pull up i need all the fine ass get all the sexy [ __ ] yeah yeah he had a little slip are you gonna say fine ass guys i think yeah but i don't think i don't think you know whether it was like the [ __ ] whippets or whatever the [ __ ] just it got a little brain fart and he caught himself before he hit the eyes on guys that'd be so funny for a rapper to come out like that i'm just just full up by who cares yeah but like just to come out on a random story oh yeah yeah yeah he just doesn't he just doesn't flinch at it he's like how many all the sexy ladies all the fine ass guys to pull up everyone's like fine ass guys question mark and he's like i said what i said everyone's like oh those are bad yeah so like i said i mean all the sexy ladies don't find ass guys to pull up oh yeah yeah it worked yeah yeah or what if you didn't mean to sexually he's just like no man if you you know if you're attractive i want you yeah ryan reynolds pull up yeah run around let's come through pull up ryan brad um who else george clooney pull up boys [Laughter] let's go let's go [Laughter] mean that's when it gets funny he starts making specific requests how many all the well yeah yeah how many all the sexy ladies pull up uh i also need uh chadwick boseman's fine ass to pull to pull up um yo pull up dave franco yeah come through uh you know i want to see all the sexy ladies and dave franco pull up he just says it at the end like it's just all it's all about women right until the end i need all the bad [ __ ] to pull up so yeah all my sexy ladies and dave franco i see you saturday huh hey you just moaned right there for real yeah i did that that was a moan i almost glitched oh that's just great oh my god okay anyone yo and also if anyone has dave franco's number hit me up i'm trying to get in touch with him [Laughter] in touch with him [Laughter] yo dave franco love your work come through so i think today's episode's moral is uh you know if you have to just write a little thing right a little dick man a little dick we mean that figuratively and literally you know yes just just ride a little dick yeah you know it doesn't always have to be a hammer you know ride a little dick sometimes yeah and also sometimes you got to ride a little dick yeah yeah and dave franco pull up [Laughter] man in the bone zone i'm going to talk about well we're going to talk about but i'm going to bring up shia's new movie yes and all i'm going to say about that is there was an article about it and it it captured let me read this [ __ ] title they did because it had me howling because it is exactly my feelings about it uh wait wait wait um hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on holding on holding on it was it was the [ __ ] la times the tax collector is one of the most atrocious viewing experiences of the year wow and we're talking about this before we were recording because noel didn't know that shia labeouf got a full chest and stomach tattoo like whole thing i'm talking like must have taken 24 hours to do that [ __ ] and it's real he got it for real before the movie and you never see it you don't see it no he's in a [ __ ] suit the whole time i don't know why he would do that i don't know what this he's insane no no there's one scene where i it's a spoiler it's a spoiler but okay okay there's one scene you see it but it's questionable if he needed a real tattoo for that scene okay maybe it was just like to embody the character that's probably what it was i mean no that's totally like some method [ __ ] but oh man i'll go in on the bone zone about how wow okay yeah yeah all right we'll take it we got to record the bone zone a little bit later because of scheduling conflicts so it might be out not now if you're a patreoner it might be out a little bit later yeah tomorrow morning or something but we're gonna do it today but it's just not gonna be right now yeah um because we have important business meetings and hollywood business meetings yeah yeah we have um a 700 million dollar gen company to sell and a 100 million dollar meme company to sell so if you don't mind us we're gonna go make a billion dollars real quick and then yeah we'll be right back right back thanks for listening guys [Music] bye [Music] you

Channel: Tiny Meat Gang

Views: 273,121

Keywords:

Id: ihngeS8flvs

Length: 67min 31sec (4051 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 21 2020