r/Cursedcomments | no PLEASE

what's the worst thing to say at a funeral hey guys welcome to my unboxing video today i've got another exciting product from god it's my grandpa how's it going ladies and gentlemen welcome back to mk i'm your host robin the dumb one and today i'm going to be taking a look at r cursed comments you really never can get enough of these horrible horrible comments now can you personally i don't think so alright without much further ado let's hop right in your rap name is lil plus the last reason you were in the hospital lil abortion i don't like that i can tell you though mine is little constipation that's not much better parents son you're adopted son i wonder who my real parents are parents we're your real parents the new ones are on their way oh tough break kid a hot girl can get a thousand likes how many can these four legends get i've said it before and i'll say it again i'd crawl through a mile of broken glass coated in lemon juice and salt just to have ahsoka hold me with my head on her lap for an hour she seems nice enough that guy that graduated from art school the guy that draws rule 34 that's why hitler failed art school on purpose he saw the writing on the wall my sister proposed to her girlfriend today and look at that older woman's reaction plot twist the old lady's actually having a heart attack of happiness it's a happy heart attack lincoln grossed over 275 million dollars in movie theaters which is ironic since historically lincoln doesn't do too well in theaters yeah but that last show he went to was a banger blurst plunger plot twist she wasn't blind oh my god i don't need to know where that art's from it's just freaking weird man not even the comments weird here just the image jeez to make a sword out of the blood of your enemies you will have to kill 359 people to get enough iron from their blood to make a long sword or just keep one person in a vegetative state so you can continuously drain blood from one person stab them with the sword so that they're killed by their own blood get a person with aids for extra damage i don't think it'll i don't what girls think guys want what they really want a house in the woods far away from busy life and toxic people with comfort and silence for hiding bodies obviously right obviously i don't want to house in the woods away from civilization that's when the monsters come out one like and i'll bomb africa say no more africa like all of it or a specific spot a father came into the store with his daughter and she picked ten burberry watches then she said thank you daddy and i was thinking wow my dad doesn't even buy me lunch and he smacked her ass and i was like oh not that type of daddy what a life she lives boomers make great sugar daddies they have tons of experience freaking future generations already it's not always love when you feel a butterfly in your stomach oh god i've gotten so good at among us i found out my girl is cheating where were you last night i was with dylan and sarah we were at blank that's crazy cause sarah called me and asked where you were which means you were alone with dylan again wait i can explain i'm sorry baby we didn't even do much sabotage your ot with your bare hands i woke up and saw my daughter looking at the baby monitor she did this for 10 minutes straight it's freaking me out i think you need to throw this one away and have a new child yeah time to just start over with this one surprise visit to see my girl's apartment for the first time one she already has the toilet seat up for me two turn on the tv already on espn three look in the closet a man so i can make a new friend an accommodating queen he's gonna be so excited when he meets his child in four months we made peace i solved the israeli-palestinian conflict chandler stop giving those children weapons wait what when i come home early to surprise my wife with the stand-up routine i've been practicing and the closet starts laughing in the middle of my set twice the audience double the applause clap clap clap clap yes that is exactly what happened before he came home you go up to a bartender and tell him make me a 20 20. what drink does he make a molotov cocktail i was gonna say a shot glass full of clorox but you do you actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes as they weren't able to tell if the traffic light was red or green i actually used to believe there wasn't color in the world until the 50s or 60s i'm pretty sure my parents actually had to teach me that just because movies were black and white didn't mean everything else was too well there wasn't color in schools or restaurants until the 60s so that's close wait i mean color wasn't allowed in those places mirrors if you break me you get seven years of bad luck condoms pathetic at least you can kind of see yourself in both of them florida man kills friend calls it delayed abortion burn grandparents alive early cremation i like the way you think i'm just kidding i don't like that at all over a period of 200 years three ships perished at the same location off the coast of wales on the same day and all three only had one survivor the three survivors all had the same name hugh williams anybody want to come on a cruise with me q i don't think now is the time oh it's the rap name one again little dad died ooh yeah you got me beat let's harm present and future kids at the same time i'm gonna hope that's just a beer belly pretty sure it's more of a belly thanks for that imagery the black diamond is a rare apple with a jet black hue a taste sweeter than honey it makes your ding-dong and balls fall off and its crispness is unmatched by any other apple in the beginning there was adam and steve but steve ate one of these and the rest is history rp's you chose i choose scissors scissors win yeah i'll say they do dude cancer is so easy to beat i'm already at stage four stage five dlc coming soon exclusively from ea saw this dilemma and decided to make a meme out of it would you rather have 30 million dollars or 30 million loyal friends 30 million loyal friends and ask them all for a dollar i'd ask them all for five dollars or ask a dollar a month from everyone you're describing only fans no they're describing only friends babies kick pregnant moms all the time but oh i do it one time and i'm the one arrested now dream you can't speed run abortion can he cheat it though when your shampoo says damage repair but you're still broken inside that's cause you have to drink it herder cash register rings just because your job sucks doesn't mean you can't make it fun i read once that someone did a study on how long it takes for the head to lose consciousness after any decapitation by guillotine he asked questions of the recently headless and had him blink answers the head seemed to be able to answer questions for 30 seconds after being removed from the body so in this case the head would be conscious long enough to know what score before it died is that is that true is it i know i'm stupid but i just have to ask is that even remotely true this pregnancy thing doesn't make sense why can't we just lay eggs and it hatches and if you don't want children you fry the egg oh god can you imagine how large a human egg would be our wi-fi went screw you screw it back how uh ethernet port there's like six on your router get the homies over show it who's boss man yo homie's got some tiny ding-dings the more you scroll the higher he gets i'm gonna scroll really far just to press the reddit button and make him fall incredibly fast north carolina assisted living facility workers accused of running dementia resident fight club can't talk about fight club if you don't remember fight club based on what happened to me you download a hentai game as a joke 15 plus friends played this game including your uncle and your dad and little brother and your mom and your sister and then you play it with your family and start alabama confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does oh wait this is my prostate exam well okay thanks i hate grandma's house my mom why don't you like sleeping over at grandma's oh my god children sleep best with a bleeding man on their wall watching over them thanks cam cam how would you feel about being straightforwardly asked to have sex by a friend depends on who the friend is to be honest gotta take care of the homies dude bros before hoes it's a saying as old as time good horror movies with no sex i can send you my wedding video wife dad did you know this is the same horse five years apart gray percherons are born black and slowly turn grey like michael jackson guy pulls out sign on gopher's kiss cam guy can't she's my sister camera i insist jesus can walk on water babies are 72 water i can walk on babies therefore i am 72 jesus holy music stops if you walk on pregnant women you're 144 jesus man what the heck's jesus gonna do when he gets back after people like this figure this out never thought this would happen snape tell joe i loved her who's joe professor joe mama dies isn't it kinda true oh lily touch my willy i am so mad people from alabama how do you feel about the never-ending jokes and memes about incest me and my wife think the jokes are funny but our dad thinks otherwise are you tired of being human as well nice recruiting strategy kfc and they really have to jump to pigeons now we can't keep it with the chickens how do you buy a kitten when the pet store is closed joke from my 10 year old you order it from the catalog my five-year-old said he wanted a kitten for christmas i said usually we have turkey but why not cursed pickup line what's the best bad pickup line i have a knife and a penis one of them is going in you tonight you choose looks at your penis the knife please a folding gun no one can tell it's a gun i gave my kid the wrong lunchbox victim mercy french murderer why are you thanking me oh so the people weren't happy when i killed them no i'm so happy for you joe i got you a present it's parked outside dude writing in that would be mind-blowing wait a minute isn't that inspector gadget's car bully you're gay kid i thought we were keeping our relationship a secret the class how to get murdered by a bully just moan when he hits you why do porn videos have a share button like you know who would really enjoy this video my friends and family mom look it's you oh god my wife just gave birth to our firstborn and me and my son both have the same weird genetic abnormality where we have an extra large space between our first and second toes your neighborhood breathed a sigh of relief blessed angry duck why he's so angry because he's about to become a chicken nugget no chicken chicken.zip unknown error file corrupted data retrieved omelette.png god the horrible inaccuracy first we have chicken nuggets made out of ducks and now we've got omelets made out of one egg scientists say that if a giant asteroid hadn't killed off all the dinosaurs intelligent dinosauroids might have evolved in humanity's place imagine a velociraptor opening an only fan's account i will do my best to imagine that i don't really like it time to put into practice everything my father taught me what did your father steve ejaculate and evacuate blow your load and hit the road or my personal favorite skatiny world's only known brown panda remains a virgin after failing first natural mating attempt you and i are not so different i also failed to mate with a panda taste the penis hold up the what granddad's farm quarantine be like hey how are you just because your penis is there doesn't mean you need to start talking to it depressed pigeon depressed pigeon misses crapping on people me too buddy me too yeah don't we all 2020 january political unrest february global fires march worldwide pandemic 2021 january political unrest i'm beginning to see a pattern here that i'm not so sure i like time to light a forest on fire when i see a good meme up you go he probably has troubles masturbating probably not as much as you'd think that guy from inuyasha with the black hole in his hand that dude probably has a problem cat burger how most people see burgers how vegan seaburgers i d dead [ __ ] here take this and use it whistly jesus's last words before he died on the cross the crucifixion was sponsored by rage shadow legends me realizing there's porn on reddit after looking at memes for two years i'm not a smart man me realizing there's memes on reddit after looking at porn for two years there are two types of predators one of them gets people killed can you guess which one is which now tell us again how the earth is flat i'm about to take a trip to sweden oh i would never go bungee jumping a broken rubber brought me into this world and a broken rubber isn't taking me out in bed with wife she climbs on top she says it's over i have the high ground then you cross sabers i'm so done girlfriend you can't satisfy me with three inches me swipe it between her butt cheeks what are you buying what's the best non-sexual pleasure or sensation a human can experience farting away a stomachache the question said not sexual yeah learn to read guy woman shoots man 17 times by miracle no shots hit the target can women do anything right which eye was she using to aim this is why strafe running works in real life human skin composition italian skin composition literally i can't stand this meme the meme is literally giving fake news at people i've sliced some italians and most of their skin doesn't look like that most most asian buildings are designed so that when evil spirits fall from the sky onto the roof they are propelled back upwards towards the sky american houses are designed so that the evil spirits fall into your neighbor's lawn why would spirits fall from the sky why don't you ask the americans why they dropped fat man and little boy from the sky so being italian is a sexuality now yes what's your sexuality sir pizza putting spaghetti up my ass is it the davious known as the wrap-around spider this spider can flatten and wrap its body around tree limbs as camouflage get god on the phone can can it wrap around my ding-dong whatever floats your boat i suppose extracting dna from strawberries and eating it salty slimy and gross yeah that's what my boyfriend's dna tasted like too is ryan reynolds mean you punch a couple hundred orphans and all of a sudden you're mean i mean what are they gonna do tell their parents teachers in other schools versus my school that teacher dummy thick though the one on the left is also pretty good percentage of the population that has a drug addiction usa number one we're always number one in the places that matter karen i didn't vaccinate my kid and he's okay her kid who was vaccinated by his dad my father vaccinated himself today ask him to vaccinate you too you'll love it to be honest if i was a vegan i wouldn't pick lettuce for anything it's dry and tastes like old people so you know how old people taste he said he wasn't a vegan i hate titans turns into titan i hate ghouls turns into ghoul i hate vampires turns into vampire i hate v tubers i hate hitler uh excuse me when you wake up but want to lay down for one more minute every time wait until you're old and this never happens instead it's waking up at 5am and laying in bed for two hours until you give up wait until you're elderly it's going to sleep at 8 pm and waking up at hello if your girl is japanese helps with homework isn't afraid to get wet and that's not your girl it's a casio ca 53w waterproof calculator watch lord forgive me for what i'm about to do to this watch haven't found a soul mate yet oh he's a zoo file god dang it thankfully that was our last post of the bunch but before we get going let's take a look at today's fan art i've been a follower for a while so i made an account and here's my fan art hope you like it took me about an hour and 40 minutes i think it's mk but 90s really proud of it and i hope you guys like it too oh my god that is mk but 90s it's beautiful always remember ladies and gents if you even somewhat enjoyed this video consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed it well then make sure to get yourself subscribed and click that bell icon and if you're feeling super adventurous consider clicking on my links down in the description below i could always use some extra friends alright before i ramble on any farther i'll see you later

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,212,811

Rating: 4.9664755 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, cursedcomments, cursed comments, reddit cursed, reddit memes, reddit funny, cursed memes

Id: KnPNOOhrJK0

Length: 16min 13sec (973 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 19 2021