r/Roastme | you... you can't do that...

discount alina jolie what's up guys and welcome back to Ma my name is Damian and today we're looking through our slash roast me best friends ruin us I mean you ask and you shall receive cuz that's mary-kate and trashley now see that employs one of them is at least decent perhaps hairy taint is more applicable I don't like that visit that visual I don't like fourteen trying too hard to look eighteen yucky that's yucky my guy she talks crap about you behind your back I guarantee it if Windows XP had a basic bra display option trailer-trash without the trailer you know what that makes you just trash you're the type of girls that guys bang and don't brag about are you a virgin yeah I'm a virgin although there was once when I nevermind don't want to talk about hairy taint and trashley you're a combined seven am me hey you're above five that's not bad which one's the four and which one's the three that's what I want to know you'll be best friends until the one on the right screws the one on the Left boyfriend these cows have no other Hey a farmer Jodie's cows need to go back to the ranch you got no utters college girl in high school senior that decided to do long-distance after a month of dating one month in destroy us like plane tickets destroyed me what are you holdin bro what is that box ones getting destroyed in her dorm and the other is still trying to figure out what is second base Nazis a power bottom I let me bottom rather almost got paralyzed after falling three stories from a pipe and breaking to vert of G's its I'm gonna read that one more time just that we are we're all on the same page here limp bottom rather almost got paralyzed after falling three stories from a pipe and breaking two vertebrae why were you in that situation or that could be a possibility you came close to feeling what she feels in bed with you it looks like an open relationship but only she knows that you know it's a strong relationship when you're first instinct after meeting is to get roasted instead of having sex I can't argue with that can't argue with much little boy she looks like the kind of girl that puts no hookups on her tinder profile but immediately tries to screw anyone she considers hot enough into falling in love with her as for you man here the safety at best this threat is ripping you a new one from the looks of it this decision to try a long-distance thing was more out of a lack of options on both your parts they just weren't ready to throw away the magical journey that began on a hot night in a Walmart parking lot her freshman 15 is the number of dudes that rail there at a house party ten minutes after sending a oh man that's great her freshman 15 is the number of dudes that [ __ ] at a house party ten minutes after sending you a love you good night text must feel great to still be in high school at 23 couldn't count the times I've banged a college girl only to hear her say I hope my high school boyfriend doesn't find out this one hurt the most sorry Kyle did it hurt more than foolish but 3-story openly gotta buy such so outlandish ly absurd and specific I'm like you're holding her tampons and living in a different City you've been stealth friendzone my dude whose house are you two hobos squatting in no her dad's lake house you mean our dad's lake house headed to a friend's wedding and feeling super vulnerable because of it finish me and whatever you say I know I like the jewelry leaked Shrek five footage as me disappointed on the new Fiona model I hope you feel the gift envelope better than you know that I hope you feel big gift envelope better than you fill that dress okay jack black take off the female snapchat filter we already know it's you come on I can't tell what's the most lopsided your roast me sign your cleavage in that dress or your eyes that look like something Bob Ross painted after having a stroke it's Tom again Tom is a regular feed on the Roasterie subreddit he's everywhere this man lives eats and breathes are slash arose to me you look like a Cabbage Patch Kid that came to life this roast me is the most interesting thing you've done in your life sorry might not be a roast but it might be the picture but it looks like you have a five o'clock shadow growing in your armpit it's my dress yeah yeah good cover good cover Kim not the only pearl necklace you'll be wearing tonight always the bridesmaid never the bride even the preachers gonna get a bloat but this go away a teen virgin no job no license full-time gamer don't hold back whatever you say captain you still cherish that moment a girl asked you if she could borrow your pencil in high school don't you never got it back in eighteen more years the only thing about this picture or description that will be changed is the addition of a gross depression beard hey look it's Jo Jo mama I love that guy's name all you had to do was post the picture we need the rest hey it's Emilio - we got some regulars on the Roasterie subreddit that's the only fan that'll ever blow you know even the fans not turned on your eyebrows look like they're abandoning you as well the only cheer you'll be popping anytime soon as that fat zit on your cheek the distance in centimeters between your eyebrows convert it into kilometers is how far you're legally allowed to be from your neighbor's kid you're not a full-time gamer you're a disappointment beater of meat choker of chicken master of his domain he is gaber are those trophies behind you given to you for reaching the friendzone 23 Italian spending my holidays with my parents because I have no friends no forehead jokes for you then brows got it covered each of your features is the most dominant feature of your face some help discount Elena Jolie looks like you kept it shaved off mustaches his eyebrows this is my favorite so far I'm gonna put it and put it in my room lmao damn you weren't kidding about not having friends I really wasn't just because you could be bought at an Olive Garden doesn't make you Italian focus less on makeup and more on those Oscar the Grouch are the couple that pays you for an online threesome doesn't count as parents how ungrateful after all your parents do for you you make them spend their holidays with friendless loser a my girlfriend doesn't believe in your roasting abilities prove her wrong yeah proof for Rome if you cover the top half of a head she look 16 you cover the bottom half she looks 60 if you cover the entire thing she looks better she looks like what morning breath smells like ah - nose rings - really prove you're the dominant lesbian she's going to require general anesthesia if she decides to get her hair brushed some day the lord looks like a photo of a pre hygiene victorian-era wrench not wrench looks like a photo of a pre hygiene Victorian era wench that dies at age 26 from hysteria you misspelled syphilis not even surprised a little judging from the looks you don't believe in showers either I bet she believes that essential oils can combat measles tell your girlfriend she looks like someone put a basset hound in a Marie Antoinette wig my wife knows nothing about roast me immediately looks at this picture and says what's up with her hair I feel even if she did spook I read ahead I get the feeling that if she did splits she would stick to the floor like a suction cup 20 and I'd roll anime fan art for a living I'm begging yelled ax and my life what's up with a tiny belt around your neck ma'am my collar what do you got on I'm not even I'm just like I'm genuinely intrigued by this it's like you know when you wear a belt and like some you'll don't tuck the strap in it's the same style and I'm very curious but about that for a living your parents have a really nice bathroom Thanks they worked hard for this house Hayley's be worked at all if the only worked out hard I'm bringing up a child if only they worked harder on contraception what are you talking about the face they gave you is a great contraception trio dudes pull out just on it you have a bright future in [ __ ] videos it's nice easy to assume a guy can get off them dead cold stare that's why there's light switches in paper bags hey there you go when there's a will there's a way I don't see why people are roasting we should be supportive of rescue greyhounds especially those that can poorly draw anime like a monkey dancing for peanuts only sadder drawing hentai for horny 12-year olds isn't a living actually my main fanbase is 14 to 16 so checkmate haha freak you already trying with that belt yeah see that's what I was thinking lmao amateur obviously this cheap choker is too flimsy I've got the nylon rope in the back already hey there you go I'm expecting her head to peel back and reveal the praying mantis waiting need the heads of men God that would honestly be so much better than my current subpar flesh vessel larger forehead anime fan art so what does virginity taste like like overcooked instant ramen at 3:00 a.m. I think I saw you in an ad once it was something about cleaning the oceans from plastic yeah you look like an under inflated overused sex doll overused at this point my couch is collecting dust Oh Oh shame that Joker wasn't fast in a few notches tighter I've really never seen a choker like that it's why it's confusing me so much it's gonna be in my mind for the next like three days okay I have taken a deep breath and you know that means it's time to read some more things I have no self-esteem I'm very scared I don't know why I'm doing this that's me going into anything me oh I love your eyes wait this is a roast me I can't compliment you I have no self-esteem I'm very scared that don't know why I'm doing this anyone that has or will go out with you you look like your favorite color is clear and a favorite spice is flower you filled me with feelings of doom when I played Zelda on the n64 did you lose your precious again it's funny because my dog's name is Frodo oh yeah I bet you little burrow in your hobbit hole ha you look like if Courtney Cox turned into a Walmart person this tender tastes like you look like an albino avatar you look like someone who thinks that taking Molly well listening to Billy Eilish is a personality please you know that's a hit and miss for me we'll see we'll see how I feel about that one in a minute my dog stole my memes we'll see how that wouldn't be the slow burn Rose you look like an incest alpha there we go there we go that's what I'm looking for Rose I mean after you survived posting here what's the worst anyone IRL could say maybe it'll be really good for your self-confidence to be able to endure that oh and I'm supposed to do this so I just want to know how many selfies it took before you gave up and realized your face wasn't gonna look any less vacant from any angle three I just realized her name is hurt but not surprised my friend thinks he's a stud knock him down a peg is that Daniel Radcliffe when the back hair and the neck beard merge he's really gonna have to watch out for Sasquatch hunters your crow's feet have crow's feet you're a douche bag arrey yeah see that's what I thought they look like Harry Potter your eyebrows make a better mustache than the actual mustache you look like a happy unshaven us oh here we go you look like the crackhead version of Daniel Radcliffe see that's what I'm telling you did you wrote on your napkin now what are you gonna use to clean up after you finish paying for the ride huh that napkin is brighter than your future made this all on my own today took me four hours roast me back to ground level please okay but that's actually really dope whatever keeps you out of the playground already I love it I love this subreddit so much I bet your parents were so annoyed when you proudly trotted back upstairs with what they thought might keep you out of their living area for the day hey look is little [ __ ] if lack of human interaction had a face are we supposed to be impressed and that took you four hours to write that roast me sign you know 3d puzzles are about the only thing you're gonna rekt in your life this note is a blouse away from being a hobo this won't be the last paper he holds up asking for something you look like the great valu Bob Ross oh yeah he's parents unhappy little accident I bet when you finish the one you're gonna put on a Godzilla costume and rampage to the 3d puzzle town you built in your garage they put the puzzles back together again and you're obviously abundant amount of spare time go away no one wants to Saved by the Bell reunion and that brings us to the end of our slash roast Minh if you liked the video leave a like down below and subscribe for more 10 from MK and as always I'll be seeing you [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 2,451,424

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, r/roastme, r/roastme top posts, r/roastme best posts, roastme, roast me, reddit roast me, roast me emkay, r/rareinsults, r/rareinsults top posts, r/rareinsults best posts, r/murderedbywords, r/rareinsults emkay, r/murderedbywords emkay, rare insults, reddit rare insults, r/roastme emkay, reddit funny, emkay

Id: 1O87rzJQHLM

Length: 13min 4sec (784 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 24 2019