r/Technicallythetruth | I BET "U' DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!!!!!!!!!

went to visit my aunt who despite suffering from dementia has an intact sense of humor how have you been I have no idea good day guys and welcome back to mm my name is jack and if you're looking for some liars what this ain't the place for that pal we only speak truth here taking a colleague so beat it burning your body fat makes you a mass murderer exactly see I don't want to go to jail I'm avoiding Jim because I'm being conscious about human life I mean that and they're all closed I could totally see myself working at a mirror Factory but she died so take that science get a tattoo when you'll end up dead got it 100% of people with tattoos died can't argue with statistics that is true did you know Hitler used to breathe oxygen and drink water I mean what does that tell you about people who drink water themselves huh yeah I'll leave that up to you take down 5g towers they're weapons cause convenient identification hi James the 5g towers will help download your conspiracy videos faster basically what we're saying here is get beat and inheritance is just your relatives dropping their loot when they die again dr. bad vice your opinion the best way to avoid getting pregnant is to be a man notice you never see men getting pregnant that's because they have responsible going down a bad path I'm so privileged to be a male yeah I've tried this method to complete math homework before teachers still wouldn't give me the mark is there a but I've been asking people what lgbtq means and nobody will give me a straight answer in 2017 a dog named Odin refused to leave his flock of goats behind during the California tubs fire as his owners fled to safety days later the owners came back to their property to find Odin survived and managed to keep all the goats alive meanwhile the goats warden is with us they better have named what are they ghost Ragnar ramen is just anime spaghetti it got there right this trucker is living in 2099 dude set up a projector in front of his truck he is watching a trailer solar panels during the night I do wheat when the Sun shines I love some people's logic with solar panels al they don't work at night time cuz there's no Sun for them to absorb any energy so they're just dumb sure Karen from Facebook sure you are the most famous spy in the world yeah that means you are the least successful spy in the world huh when people say age is just a number but you know it's actually a word everyone is stupid except me you get mad when your alarm clock doesn't work you still get mad when your alarm clock works her alarm clocks man they're just trying to do the job every time you press snooze their self-esteem crumbles I'm sorry and I apologize both have very similar meanings unless you are at a Funeral Thank You stranger things season three for creating this caption Abul image he has no legs climbed Everest what's your Excuse his legs won't hurt mine well personally I just want to avoid the dead humans and the literal tons of fecal and urine all matter all over the mountain don't believe me look it up it's sort of bad my fiance just asked me to come into the kitchen to see what they made it's a couch potato I think it's about time you gave that couch a clean guy sit sir we can see two shades of color there let's this be the hour when we draw swords together yes our swords look very pretty thanks me this is a good sesh you are welcome I'm sorry sir your dad was pronounced dead I can't believe I've been pronouncing it wrong all this time what are you Oh a lot you funny but seriously your father is dead mmm-hmm what the station coconut moving it's windy coconuts still it's calm coconut wet it's rainy cooking uh try sunny cooking out white snow coconut invisible hog coconut gone hurricane I like to imagine this is how weather stations operated back in the day this is Gerolamo Cardano nailed it he used to make prediction and even predicted the day of his death but that day he worked healthy so he killed himself professionals have standards see this is how like every conspiracy theorist operates great name Island that's a great name like I know it's just being literal but that is actually a really nice looking Island I approve the name fits your chances of getting killed by a group of frogs are low but never zero man you never know it is just how well folks can pull off that ominous just stare into your soul you can't defeat me I know but he can oh you can't be serious okay no seriously we're getting too literal here so how Italian is this Italian restaurant exactly bro we're Italian as Finland no way I wonder how atheists mine during kinky times they'd be like oh evolution atheists are the only ones allowed to yell Oh God during kinky times because religious people shouldn't use the Lord's name in vain holy crap you freakin killed her dude Phil water flowing out of a big tub Phil smacking flex tape to stop the leak before the room floods oh for goodness sake glasha is located in Russia the more you know well fax jeff bezos can't become a trillionaire if he gets eaten by a whale what if it gets eaten by a llama ooh excellent rebuttal llama in a tux I'm sorry that's not my area of expertise hey kudos for them to sticking to their area of knowledge that's not very common on the Internet be aware she can move in any direction what I hate most about this is that it is literally true it's not just a pun and a joke on the fact that she's the queen is the fact that she is a human being and she can wait she can't go up ha solve it this place don't look it belongs here is only good technically the truth you're welcome dad can you tell me what a solar eclipse is no son what is an instant turnoff oh no here we go I haven't even seen the next bit I already knows to be strong holding the vel aldwyck Ashley looks like she hungry castle god damn it why am I such a giggly moon now I think it's clear that all this stupid truthful jokes are just it's made me insane I'm turning insane throughout this video if you put Alaska on top of the cont if you put Alaska on top of the continental United States [Laughter] woman in front of me at airport security has a bottle of frozen water they want to take it she says it's not a liquid no no she's got a point it's true it's solid solid mass how can we recognize when something is strawberry-scented when actual strawberries don't even have a smell this tweet is teeing me off because it makes sense okay but isn't that how everyone reacts on the incident when they come across something that makes sense but it goes against what they comfortable with five charged in online cannabis delivery operation damn there's gonna be at least a gram yes yes there is a gram at least yeah God how did you figure that one out when is our bug-fix update as soon as we fix the bugs make sense the Mediterranean Sea perfectly fits inside Australia Oh get ready here we got this we got this bro okay Australia do this if this happened it would run you okay I'm calm I'm calm calm I was expecting them to say a lot of people but the fact that they said five it's it's funny because this trick is literally no one lives out there if you had won the zegenei and put it on top of another lose a canoe you'd still only have one less agony you know this is perfect logic if you want to get away with eating a ton of lasagna but then saying oh I only had a bit of lasagna today out on top of that the logic that you've burnt 3000 calories by ruining some cake and bam haha fitness done if humanity sent another Rover named attention to Mars Earth to Mars you had my curiosity but now you have my attention of course someone had to connect this line to Curiosity rover they just had to didn't they I asked for dark coffee not a depressed oh you just ordered a depress oh it has the opposite of caffeine it doesn't lift you up throughout the day it brings you down it's just you drink it and you just keep remembering all your mistakes and all those embarrassing moments in high school or you remember that moment oh yeah I finished my morning cup of joe and now I'm ready to get started on figuring out why I'm never a group where we all pretend to work in the same office oh my god I'm going over to the stationery store anyone want anything wrong answers only all stores of stationery buildings don't move I feel this could be quoted from the hippy all the guy who takes everything far too seriously in the workplace everything 99 cents and up or just adding that sneaky and up text to get away with any kind of wrongdoings no we said 99 cents and up or less hmm what is my purpose you're mine 3-stone oh my god dad why don't we have the coop gonna build dodged it because we have aunt Eva because we have antibodies god no if it's in stock we've got it just like that you can have any color you want as long as it's black honey did I ever tell you that you cook well ah no babe so why do you keep cooking you know I've never realized until just now how much of a presumption it is to assume that you're gonna be complimented when they ask you something like that I'm not gonna trust anyone's compliments now shoplift is whenever they see a shop they are they break the timber flooring nobody has ever been or will be in an empty room Mark Wahlberg I swear has the worst like confusion face the camera he's perfect for memes but he's so just it's like it's upset him have you ever noticed that Ireland is just one sea away from ice god I feel like I'm some sort of mom at Christmastime when I'm hearing these stupid jokes from like a son or a dad stop it Steve be very upset if there's goods good don't you know these kids in drama class take direction very literally meanwhile in NOLA get the boat Noah we are begging you Florida man successively receives a transplant from horse where exactly did he get that done asking for a friend Florida is anyone surprised though that this is coming from Florida like I'm on the other side of the world and I'm not surprised if you ever think about it the brain named itself I like to think the brain that named itself the brain was actually Brian the guy translating it into words just stuffed up what should we call this thing Oh a brain that sounds good mm-hmm send me a pic of you and there you go it's all real baby look you can even see my J right there someone made a diamond as a carrot it's the diamonds but made out of carrots my brain was too fixated on the fact it was a carrot and I've literally eating the carrot just before for lunch that I didn't think about the word carrot itself and now I've got the joke and I hate it so this is how the Joker became the Joker homophobes are kind of gay because they're trying to control what another man's dee does and does not do holy crap you just cracked the code facts we've done it everyone we've sold homophobia if every human alive right now was piled into the Grand Canyon goddamn until one of these stupid ones what's happening I it's annoying or not interesting if you a male your D is bigger than forty nine point six of the population no matter what ah thanks man that really helps myself a stick hang on a is at home sweet home me with my mother fricker if literally is bad did you know that if you scream Bloody Mary three times while staring into a mirror at 3:00 a.m. that your parents will tell you to go to bed anxiety is literally just conspiracy theories about yourself that's actually a really great example of just how you can overcome your anxieties damn nice and work in math you were rated tv-pg sex fear well mark me down as scared and horny a prehistoric celebration happy 20th anniversary - dinosaur streaming on Disney Plus dinosaurs are actually millions of years old idiot yeah you tell that one person names Disney you how to get into Harvard I got into Harvard through the gate you just walk right in you don't know why I need to make a youtube video about it is there anything worse than stepping on a lego in the middle of the night yeah a landmine ah Touche I made us I'm alive I have done with technically the truth for this day thank you all so much for watching and dealing with my partial growing insanity thanks again like the video if you enjoyed the content guys subscribe for more we've got more coming along on the channel thanks again for watching my name was Jack and I'll see you guys next time see ya

Channel: EmKay

Views: 541,887

Rating: 4.9549141 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth emkay, technicallythetruth, technicallythetruth emkay, reddit truth, truth, reddit puns, dad jokes, puns, emkay technicallythetruth

Id: jQJ69WGFfAQ

Length: 13min 17sec (797 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 05 2020