r/Technicallythetruth | FAT IS BUT A GAME

today's special by one fish and chips for the price of two our Ziva second fish and chips absolutely free for free for free what's up guys and welcome back to MA my name is Damien and today we're looking through our slash technically the truth trunks and of it can use this trip to drink water or the blood of children foolish enough to trust him two more victims that's awesome they should add an attachment that shows how fast the dogs running dogs can't read numbers stop the stupid school wow that's taking lunch for the next level taking lunch to the next level I can't wait to get my first kiss this Christmas under the mistletoe he did it that's a mistletoe alright Lord Farquaad his blood type red that's right hey you know horses are kind of fruit that doesn't exist just saying I'm Elon Musk expensive paintings are basically just trading cards for the rich that's right who can jump higher than a mountain I mean everyone can Mountains can't jump idiot stupid your brain it's tiny Mercury Venus no deaths no Instagram Mars Jupiter Saturn Neptune Uranus Pluto no deaths no Instagram earth well they got a hundred and twenty billion three hundred fifteen million wait that's a trillion and that's they have a lot of deaths and Instagram that's what I'm trying to say Instagram bad apparently follow me on instagram instagram bad follow me on the skins gonna back this reminds me wolverine can't be circumsized i mean technically he can be circumcised temporarily some guy just busts in and repeatedly every book is a remix of the dictionary every song is the remix of the chromatic scale and every video game is a remix of zeros and ones that is every human so he makes a sperm just saying vodka and ice destroys the kidneys who is though an ice destroys the liver whiskey and ice destroys the heart and gin and ice destroys the brain mandus ice stuff is dangerous I don't know why you all consoles are technically Playstations you're welcome question when the blank is dead the car doesn't start when the driver is dead the car won't start an easy I don't know why this is even a challenge you have zero chance of dying in your sleep if you never sleep protip are you cold come sit in the corner it's 90 degrees it's a cute joke what does everyone say I'm the bad guy I'm not the one who drown millions of animals the problem the government of the people by the people and for the people is the people just saying people's check text while driving if you want to meet Jesus really nothing rhymes with purple hey no it doesn't baby gates are the IRL version areas being locked in a videogame due to your characters experience level just saying it's a game theory you [ __ ] x equals x from this all equations can be derived the proof has left as an exercise to the reader correct how to speak a foreign language go to a foreign country speak your mother tongue you're welcome pie I've eaten vs pie I have not yet eaten that's a cute little graph where it looks like pac-man hey is a VeggieTales just christian anime yeah yeah hey you didn't live your childhood to the fullest if you didn't do this that's not a full childhood or even one at all just because it's fast doesn't mean it's shed yeah yeah oh hey Tay Zonday make sure to do up being poor now just leads to being more boy later can't pay to clean your teeth next year pay for a root canal can't pay for a new mattress next to you pay for back surgery can't pay to get that lump checked out next year pay for stage 3 cancer poverty charges interest damn teh ring invisibility is now real know if visibility was always real you just couldn't see it stupid study finds getting smacked right in the mouth with a goddamn tree branch really sucks but after a minute you're basically fine researchers say how'd you test it bro life is just a hallucination that is caused by inhaling oxygen frequently once you quit huffing the trip ends yeah oh good mr. 2010 who wouldn't enough people born in 2020 maybe a circle is a shape a letter and a number like that when Sweden is playing Denmark it is sweet den the remaining letters not used are Denmark every single thing in this world as either come or it is not no one between take it from me the come man cat cafes like brothels because he would go in there and pay to touch kitty am i right for your feet or your meat why not both anyone some Netflix accounts yeah Netflix does what you looking for seventy five thousand likes bra or the hell like that seventy five thousand people pay attention doofus five below technically still correct I like that that's a good sign you will die in an hour what is the last thing you're going to do the we just says stock thanks I never would have guessed a blind man listening to Braille music for the first time damn dis bumps I get it in a vendor's endgame Theo says I am inevitable this is actually a mistake in the script because inevitable is not as real man it is Stannis mom what's your language mean English that's my language the saying you are what you eat is actually only accurate for cannibals not accurate for anything else it's accurate for praying mantises sometimes your body is a poop gun every time you eat it reloads and mines got quite a clip [Laughter] before you judge a man walk him out on his shoes after that who cares gives a mile away and you've got his shoes hey what are some tips to stop biting your own nails alright and potato arms very cool Kanye thank you quiet kids slowly reaches into bag hey how do you do the italics like of this crazy fact number 274 eating three pizzas a day is more healthy for you and then being dead just helping out the public hey a-hole oh there's nothing on them but Oh hold up I get oh you bastard I understand the joke now I hate this oh no how about the d-pad being up there and the joysticks being somebody that throws me off these folks came here from Zimbabwe I ask what brings you to town you look at each other nervously the dad answers car and their defense this is exactly what I'd asked and I was satisfied from which can with the evaporated milk flow up more slowly none give an explanation for your answer in part a because the milks evaporated no you don't that's not what that means I don't it would be well I mean the answer would be number two cuz it's got more area to leave it's gonna [ __ ] on them I think oh no I'm not good at math this is a math question 11 meters 10 meters so this whole thing's a meter long I'm learning math on a subreddit when you get shot you'll sometimes suffer a gunshot wound only sometimes your shirt isn't tucked into your pants then as your pants tucked into your shirt that's the only way I wear my pants actually there's only two ways to wear pants off or tucked them to the shirt if school isn't a place to sleep then home isn't a place to study thank you for coming to my TED talk Jimmy shoe repair I will heal you I will save your soul I will even die for you get it shoes Oaks come my store hey how do books help a person well they're easy to burn when it gets cold you've seen the movies hey what does raccoon taste like raccoon well I'm not wrong do you be more specific yeah raccoon meat oh thanks real diamonds don't show up on x-ray images and that's cuz they don't have bones idiot our street is full of garbage litter alley I get it alone in the dark this was me growing up men can't show emotion in public unless it's anger or greed or lust now lust is just penis creed I don't like that term these are the only boomers we can respect wait when did DeVito get so old over the course of his life that's true donut I made and you did make that donut food food I meant good but that work still Frode you hungry bastard why infant babies are total nerds they've never played any sports at all if you try to explain the rules of football to them they wouldn't understand they don't even lift and if you can't name even one sports team on a fleet nerds I'm telling ya just drawn themselves we're dorks geez what's the first rule of cooking four-year-old don't put your hands in your butt correct when life gives you lemons you found lemons facial women's life visible con wait that's the visible confusion I get it ape and plumber find tree maybe tallest one but how get down easy gravity jump hey before the movie starts it's just 50 people sitting in a dark room eating corn and what's wrong with that if things aren't going your way just remember at the end of the day it's night thanks Benson Disney now owns Fox Fox owns Rocky Horror Picture Show say hello to your new Disney princess I'm so delighted to see you mode no no it probably did babies are useless they can't even talk ill belittle freeloaders Jesus that's a protest what's the biggest errors between the 2000s and 2010's about 19 years 364 days 23 hours 59 minutes and 59 seconds Thanks possible show for your music for a song that plays is how you die what happens I got stayin alive by Bee Gees wait that's illegal shoot apostille zero zero zero or something well technically being alive puts you most at risk of dying so live in fear Dec use real quirk thought magnet he's attractive three of them so far and what this Amy meme about can someone tell me what's x-men but Japanese thanks for the heads up actually sounds kind of cool I'm not like other teenagers I'm 51 how do you do fellow kids no diving at the pool you're gonna hit your head marriage is the first cause of divorce in the world fair enough fair enough thanks for making me sad animal secure storage is 9 5 3 201 secure is our middle name it is fat 9 now I got a large hitbox chief get it right put some class on that spins my clothes in a wet metal tube then bakes them in a different metal tube to undo the wetness and literature this is called the familiarization so congrats this post is officially a literary masterpiece and my house it's called laundry thank you three kinds of people will eventually do these people stop stop coming describe me in one word disabled that's mean but it's true what are signs of low IQ some of the most common symptoms can include learning and developing more slowly than other children the same age rolling over sitting up crawling or walking much later than developmentally appropriate difficulty me difficulty communicating or socializing with others in lower than average scores on IQ tests that is definitely a very obvious sign ASMR to help you sleep beating you until you're unconscious thank you for the 22 minutes sleep session appreciate you hey we're are microorganisms microorganisms what are pathogens harmful microorganisms toxin is a word yeah it is yeah it is when reading a book you're literally just staring at a dead tree and hallucinating will don't tell me that the first all-female spacewalk happens today you could call it an unmanned space walk hmm got me bias invisibility cloak invisibility cloak doesn't work me visible confusion as opposed to invisible confusion water on Mars yeah that's right that's water on Mars baby I've been using only this pen all semester wrote it last word today kind of sad about it what was the last word yeah was oh you're a feminist name every woman Whitney Houston Eric's already getting started am I the only one that's triggered he said 360 no-scope when the man in the animation into 180 not 360 that's three sixties after all Arnie how do I look with your eyes birch true he's right Burt I just left my job I couldn't work for that man after what he said to me what'd he say you're fired sorry man and thank you for watching our slash technically the truth if you liked the video leave a like down below and subscribe for more content from MK if you want to catch more of me and maybe even see these videos live and as always I'll be seeing you [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,148,738

Rating: 4.9554868 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth emkay, technicallythetruth, technicallythetruth emkay, reddit truth, truth, reddit puns, dad jokes, puns, emkay technicallythetruth

Id: mGqSu4mucd4

Length: 11min 42sec (702 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 07 2020