r/Me_irl | $20 is $20

wake up the sun has risen and what do you want me to do photosynthesis yes you're a sunflower what [Music] g'day shrimps welcome back to mk it's your boy jack from down under here giving you some more goodies on the internet today's goodies are all about you well not you specifically but a collective amount of you uh you know what i mean me irl let's go my mask causing my acne my mask covering up my acne ah the conflict of the centura me already having acne before do you guys know where i could get one of those gold necklaces with a t on it that's a cross across from where adhd in a pandemic is like um that was easy you're an adult but you feel like a kid faking their way through life i'm pretty sure this is a plot for some movie i saw when i was a kid it was a boarding day is way better than night during the day it's light it's warm and nature is blooming at night people leave you alone yeah yep no that one that one please america mix skittles well this is technically correct depending on what point of history you're in this piece is called anxiety it's just silence but it keeps getting faster this is stressing me out planning an argument in my head yes it is possible for kitty cats to be dinosaurs me arguing i see what they keep the heads on one i can you can make a dinosaur the cat will cut where you think cat dinosaur is ahead me and heaven wow this place nice as hell angels what 109 year old woman says secrets to long life is avoiding other people i believe her okay but is that because she's an introvert or because she has too many enemies what secret villainy are you hiding 109 year old lady therapist you can be anything you want to be me and for my next trick i'll make you regret those words how can you not care like this hello welcome to the internet uh this is goalkeeper's balls get photoshopped into cats this is a statement that definitely requires an image for proper referencing this is so natural like i didn't question it if you ever feel dumb or stupid just remember that captain america tried to choke a robot hey now to be fair he could have had some important circuitry there poor captain america i just don't know how else i can help in this situation if you don't click these bad boys a couple of times before you use them i can't trust you i learnt the other day that this is in fact not how chefs greet each other in the kitchen and i for one and absolutely heartbroken i wish all people who chew with their mouth closed a very pleasant evening yeah look that's the best bugs bunny impression i can do okay don't get at me me buying clothes there's a lot of colors on the spectrum but you know what it's dark and depressing mood for me hell yeah not trying to stand out at all is my way of feeling special random internet ad hot girls in your area want you're [ __ ] me why what's he done no he's mine when i pronounce croissant like croissant [Music] when you turn 18 and start life for real this ride only stops in an emergency crying is not an emergency goofy bro i know you're always smiling but come on man this is not uplifting lab reports online homework essays midterms completely reasonable deadlines why is a dead wife so common as a backstory for male heroes when divorce exists and is 10 000 funnier ever since i lost my wife i swore i would push myself to become the greatest hero the city has ever seen still not taking it back jerry i will freak you too stacy that is my cape give it back you're a dog it doesn't even fit arriving at the club do you promise you won't turn into an inaccurate 1800s reconstruction of iguanodon this time i promise me three drinks later how do you do folks it's me a little bit of factual historical inaccuracy for you to dive into through this meme you thought this meme was about alcoholism fool you've been educated when you wasted your drip on a whack event that looks so good but for who i can can we talk about how they have the this is fine dog at nasa's control center at this point he really is just the mascot of our entire industry you're not a top or a bottom you're 14. my god you were still so young why why are you trying to be older right now you have no idea what is coming for you you just wait till you move out you won't be on top of anything you're you're gonna be about it for the rest of your life not a frog an angel i'm pretty sure that's a toad look don't man i love you i think those wings look beautiful on you but um i'm sorry i cannot let you spread your genetics around i do not want to see flying toads in my world the olsen twins looking miserable while doing something fun is my personal brand okay but this image is clearly photoshopped i mean you can tell because one of them is slightly smiling and they never do that so throwback to the time i didn't realize that mulch was the name of someone's fursona if someone made pixel art of mulch i'd be very happy boy uh easy sure um okay enjoy your mulch i'm not gay but twenty dollars is twenty dollars well hello there stranger i see you're looking to make a transaction wow my friend was right walking around with a shirt gives you free money shame i never learned to read though that's the joke male kangaroos when life hands your lemons make lemonade gen x when life hands you lemons create a startup to market lemon juice as a healthy low-carb alternative to lemonade millennials less of life would ever just hand you lemons gen z la la now presenting the five stages of grief through butter denial i can't believe it's not butter anger what not butter bargaining could it be butter depression unbelievable this is not butter acceptance unsalted margarine it's not that big of a deal just call it what it is seven-year-old me misbehaving school if you keep on misbehaving we'll send you home you will you have the wolf inside you the wolf inside me world's laziest wolf howls lying down okay but that wolf look real chill though and i'm kind of you know i'm kind of craving that my date would you ever become a house husband if i made over 250k a year me hey good morning here's your morning juice i know you like it just the way you like it yeah strangely enough there's actually no mail made outfits so this is what you're getting today butler what's that what you mean like alfred quiz are you even good enough to have impostor syndrome ah props to our brains for making us wonder if we even deserve having disorders i don't think i'm depressed enough to be allowed to have depression yep this is a thought process that could definitely never spiral out of control eminem always looks like he told a joke but nobody heard it and then someone repeated it louder and everyone laughed oh man stole it from his mom's spaghetti in self-defense a knife protects i bring my lunch no one suspects and when it's time to end a life deceptive fruit banana knife english teachers oh the fast and furious franchise that was just a warning of what's to come we're only up to the third lockdown plebs haven't even made it to the lockdown that happened to japan then comes that spin-off lockdown in another country that i mean let's be out of new zealand's kind of already shown us that movie but hey on the bright side in down 8 we're all quarantined in a submarine so you know it's it's different environment that makes it worth the money to see it all over again how's your love life love life may be a rather grandiose term for staring at women on the bus me still processing last march much next month on your left me during a math test after weeks of procrastinating and then one night of cramming i'm doing one calculation per hour and they're all wrong i can't believe the heat from the sun traveled 149.6 million kilometers just to melt my freaking chocolate bar yeah that sounds really on a mission just to ruin everyone's day isn't he i wish all people who decided to take a short nap at 5 p.m a very pleasant 3 a.m me after getting my first paycheck should i buy nasa or spacex when you walk out of the movie theaters while it's daytime ah flashbang flashbangs when you walk out and it's night what the hell it's night does anyone else ever get the random urge to get your life together in the middle of the night yes it usually wears off by morning that's relatable because we all feel ashamed of how lazy we spent our day and so this is our subconscious attempt to reconcile for our tidiness hi i'm jack i'm here to make you feel bad about your life choices listen dude sarcasm will get you nowhere in life well it got me to the sarcasm world championships in peru back in 98. wait really no you listen here you little man hoping people notice how many folding chairs he's carrying at once i'm not good at the running stuff so this is where i try to compensate for my worth as a man absolutely no one right nostril at 1am well it's 1am time for me the person who lives in your nose to do a practice recital here we go dude four percent punish charging um three percent for me when you pause the music but keep the headphones on so you can eavesdrop see that's why if you have anything secret to talk about you just text it to each other so google and facebook can even shop instead goddamn privacy is dead isn't it when you see someone you went to school with on the bus but you've left your phone at home yep oh there's honey in this that's that makes no sense all right brain we need a good idea okay let me see what i have here uh boobs damn it brain now's not the time we need to think big oh okay okay okay up up big boobs when nobody volunteers to present and the teacher says they're going to start picking people oh god slouch man slouch i can't man my legs are too big the desk is in the way damn it private you get yourself under that desk that's in order but if i move too suddenly the teacher will notice me jimmy robert you finally found the song you've been looking for on spotify it's a playlist with the song's name first smartphone was released in 2007 people in 2006. wait huddy oh that's a weird ingredient in this thing wow you got thinner what's your diet me it's poverty maybe they're born with it maybe it's poverty damn you fine shorty what's your pronoun she her how about you turn into my girl rest in peace stuffed punk is that it my my trending right sometimes what a person needs is just one piece it's just a little piece it's just it's just a tiny tiny piece seven-year-old me thinking about how i'm going to beat up the robber and save my family at 2am it should be no surprise i am an efficient fighter when you're giving someone advice but you gotta finish with but i don't know in case it ruins their life ah the good old social disclaimer brain look at those other brains see how extroverted and energetic they are could you try to be a little more like that okay i'm sad and i don't know why your mom is so nice my mom after they leave and seeing playtime's over child back to suffering mom just woke me up to tell me flames don't have shadows i can't sleep now 22 years of living and i've never realized this nintendo please release a patch where you have to take a little questionnaire on your ethnicity or background so these white people don't have access to the afro puffs and other cultural hairstyles imagine being sick and to a nintendo switch starts asking what color your skin is i bet he's thinking about other women why are we sleeping during the day when you're the only one sober enough to order pizza everyone is so hungry and if you screw up if you screw up one of their orders you are you are out of the group so no pressure but if you don't remember the cheesy garlic bread crust i swear to god i swear to god goalkeeper sam bartram alone on the pitch not realizing that the game had been abandoned 15 minutes earlier due to heavy fog 24th of december 1937. oh look my last brain cell what motivates you buddy my passion for my craft i want to be a better person pure spite i live only to prove the haters wrong i succeed to make them suffer oh my god that is so inspirational my keys phone and wallet when i'm running super late let's split up gang when you see a lot of memes about the ads in spotify but you have a premium account i'm sorry is this some sort of peasant joke that i'm too rich to understand how i talk to customers at work how i retell the story later seriously i feel like if you have a split personality disorder retail is like the perfect job for you how a normal person tells a story start of story end of story how i tell a story pre-story prologue for context start of story too many details oh semi-related side story oh wait okay back to the main story something i just remembered strain of thought and go what was i talking about all right you realize that i've been talking too long wrap up story and i finally get to the point end of story i'm sorry i am so sorry i plea please forgive me lamal dude on facebook said he'd been waiting four hours for the p to fall so he could sue walmart ladies and gentlemen this is america this is this is how a first world country tries to get money and for you sam wise ganji this cool stick i found swish you can pretend it's a sword and swish it around like this actually no i'm keeping this student 23 who can't tell her left from right gets l and r tattooed on her hands as a permanent reminder i appreciate the commitment to sort this out but i i feel like there were so many other avenues you could have explored i just got my braces off send a pic okay with teeth you idiot when someone starts crying but you don't know what to do how do you want some toothpaste hey remember this photo you took on facebook so freaking ugly why is my hamster so freaking ugly you're no ham taro a lie when you finally get what you want but it doesn't make you feel any better it just ruins your life more for years i've been spinning the yard but all this time the yard was betting me when you wake up in the middle of the night and get to taste night water humanity restored when you're taking online classes and one girl has a 1080p webcam now i ain't saying she's an e thot but she ain't spending like some broke bulk then why why do your eyes look like you're suffering [Music] my weak heart me obese i will cast the spell to make you have a good day it is done someone messaged me burn the witch and now an excerpt from your biography you seem very tired i am what are you tired of i shrug everything me i'm too lazy to watch a two-hour movie this is four hours straight of youtube sure i could do that and i guarantee at least two of those hours will be videos i've already watched for the 30th time all right folks it is time for some fair knot today's work is by don't worry be cabbie no screw you i'll worry all i like thank you you're not the boss of me anyway they have some fun art for us a simply grayscale but beautifully sketched nonetheless mk sam the symbol thing i've been told this is called a hand as well i don't know what those are either way you make the italians proud thanks so much for the great artwork there don't worry big gabby and remember if you'd like to see your fan art in a future video be sure to post it in the mk subreddit now as always that means we have reached the end of this video so thank you for watching your compelling existence at this point of the video clearly means you have engaged thoroughly enough to like this time here so you know what i'm asking for they've been here many times let's not let's not beat around the bush i want you to like this video i'm sick of playing games it's now or never if you don't like this video i am walking out that door so please if you could that'd be lovely well with all that said my name has been jack you have been a lovely person to ramble at as always and i well i look forward to seeing you for the next one bye-bye

Channel: EmKay

Views: 702,084

Rating: 4.9473672 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, Me_irl

Id: eY7IQeZoNq0

Length: 17min 18sec (1038 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 04 2021