r/Me_irl | 💎💎💎

i love these lazy saturdays it is wednesday my dudes [Music] what's up sexy i'm lexie and welcome back to mk today's video is all about you or me or both of us i don't know welcome back to r me irl let's get started reject humanity become barcode but man i feel terrible i wonder what's wrong with me your cholesterol is a little high but with diet and exercise you can get it down pretty easily if you exercise 30 minutes a day and eat better your anxiety will probably improve if only there was something i could do to feel better sometimes all a person needs is that missing piece one billion dollars here look i have this chart oh really bottle flip was popular five years ago oh no bill worth oh my god hang on hang on i gotta do it in his style hi i'm a proud owner of a brain cell thanks for checking in mmm butter oh yes introverts getting prepared to make a phone call okay you didn't have to personally attack me like this god i hate phone calls maintain social distancing six feet in all directions let me at him let me at him calm down pythagoras calm down why isn't your camera on me food all the food i constantly snacked at work even before quarantine me doing my taxes i have a child why isn't there a dog tax credit how do i convince my capitalist friend that communism isn't bad or capitalist friend yes of course my bad or bad behold the casting couch plus two elemental damage eight-year-old me in my creative world yes yes but also i actually really like this color it's really pretty crocodile comes when called how can anyone dislike this they came to see a crocodile come when being called and that's exactly what they got uh probably because the crocodile is massive and horrifying and my hands would probably be shaking bad enough to accidentally click the dislike button valentine's day is coming up well and now it's passed so if you have a crush on someone make sure you hurry up and keep it a secret forever so you never get hurt iq200 i'm not dead this is just how i look press y for same i gazed upon death and was not afraid for he was wearing crocs lamal me unplugs the usb without ejecting it first the i.t teacher we're all gonna die alien how did you enslave your human dog i did not alien then why does he provide for your every need dog because he loves me alien but why does he love you dog wagging tail because i love him happiness noises wanna go to starbucks and study soon help me reject this boy oh oh my god it's alright oh no this belongs in our slash cringe picks shop for a new tie make macaroni do cardio don't let the existential dread set in don't let it set in vacuum the rug driving instructor all right take a left speed runner actually with a good subpixel frame perfect jump i can hop the guard rail saves 10 seconds driving instructor that that's illegal speedrunner cop spawn rates are bugged on this street super rare to get pulled over my mom at home praying for my safety me drunk as frack in the middle of the road at 3am my bed feels weird you're nauseous because you haven't eaten i can't eat this i'm nauseous god every single day i swear odd numbers when they get multiplied by two or even now [ __ ] me forgetting that i exist while i'm driving uh um uh i wait wait wait wait what i told the genie that for my third and final wish i wanted my family to be happy and i started fading you're doing something right when your dog becomes you how females shoot their shot whatever his loss i'm not quite sure that's exactly how it goes but alright my dad sent me a picture this morning and said it finally happened quick quick ask him why then we could put all these dumb jokes to rest organizing your finances is key me oh okay um well the quarters go here nickels and then dimes and then pennies am i rich yet who fixes a clock like this this image is probably the most accurate visual representation of the united states education system truer words have never been spoken when people did not have clocks they used candle clocks candles that would burn for a set amount of hours if you need an alarm you would push a nail at the desired time length in the candle and once it melted to that point the nail would fall and hit the metal holder alerting you i like that the candle picture has four nails in it ye oldie snooze button hi um uh how do i add 17 nails to the candle victim mercy french murderer huh hey uh are you busy on friday me that entirely depends on the rest of the information you're about to give me other girls dyed hair long nails makeup listens to pop brass monkey that funky monkey brass monkey junkie that funky monkey my executive level breadwinning wife me showing her the funny pictures i found on the internet today people with zero internet culture pissed me off like what are you laughing at on your phone how am i supposed to explain to you that i find this funny coke classic 219 diet coke 219 sprite 219 simply orange juice 219. some people just don't understand humor my dad guessing lord of the rings characters names i don't know what i don't know why are you asking christopher i'm not a lord of the rings fan i don't know i don't know any of these characters gandalf i don't know leave me alone excellent project christopher when life gives you gators make gator no no don't make gatorade oh my god you know the saying third time's a charm yeah germany lost twice oh my god well germany now is a pretty small country so uh i'd be fine with them winning anything worrying about my bad grades and not studying the best plan vikings covered their roofs in grass so enemy aircraft bombers couldn't see them for the falxsack me greg is it that's funny because the first letter of greg is also the first letter of guilty judge sweating no fracking way no one me what pam i'm sorry is is there a different way to close drawers i had no idea in 1948 a man wore 30 pound three-toed lead shoes and stomped around a florida beach during the night many people were convinced that a massive penguin or similar creature was roaming the area he kept up the prank for 10 years visiting various beaches the hoax wasn't revealed until 40 years later absolute life goals tell your kids about ruby bridges the first black child at an all-white publix elementary school in louisiana she turned 66 this year she's only 66. 66. i'm not sure why this post is in me rl but it is incredibly important post we should have made a lot more progress by now the scariest things on earth the dark clowns sharks serial killers death being asked to say three interesting things about yourself yeah i'd like to add another one uh where do you see yourself in five years that's scarier than any dark serial killer clown sharks applying for a job in the middle of a pandemic i have no idea what i'm doing but normalcy sounds nice introverts when they tell a joke to a large group of people and everyone actually laughs out loud local potato happy today this is me when anyone says i'm funny oh my god oh my god i'm gonna try this oh i'm totally doing this with the wild style figure the fox was unable to reach the grapes so he said la mao these grapes aren't even good i don't need any grapes and left me a girlfriend the amount of love i have for you the amount of love i'm able to express in words oh this is wholesome this belongs in wholesome memes what grade did you get i got an a really boy i'd hate to be you i got a c why on earth would you rather get a c than an a i find my life is a lot easier the lower i keep everyone's expectations honestly excellent advice cooking instructions put pizza in oven for 16 to 20 minutes me according to my math it should be cooked in exactly 18 minutes and it never is you know it's never is waiting for my wife to see the meme i sent her from across the room she's gonna love it or not react at all whenever i try to philosophize with my cat what is my reason to live you're right i see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant my veterinarian don't forget we offer a military discount me to my cat have you served in the military i met a kid outside the mall crying he had lost his 200 so i gave him 40 bucks from the 200 i found when god blesses you you must bless others what the hell money i haven't heard that name in years lobster in a bucket looks like a gigantic monster on a metallic planet and the water droplets look like stars oh my god it's the original incarnation of jibber's crabs me flexing my muscles every day to see if they grew from doing nothing oh bother my therapist making me say nice things about myself do it do it say something nice about yourself yes you listening to this video say something nice about yourself now introverts when they have to fulfill plans that they made a week ago when they were in a good mood this is a fracking nightmare oh my god i can confirm this this is painfully accurate 15 year olds when you're 10. whoa 15 year olds when you're 15. oh hey 15 year olds when you're 20. oh my god they're children when you overhear some teens referring to 90s music as classics and oldies my heart okay i heard american idiot like the green day album on a classic rock station that plays like 70s rock and i i was so upset i miss going out you never went out before the pandemic okay i missed staying in by choice yeah i think the thing i miss the most is actually like shopping but i barely did it in person before the pandemic anyway strong password using it for multiple sites as somebody that works in id don't do this even using a password manager is better than using the same password for everything just took a call from a patient whose birthday was 4 20 1969. nice and had him repeat it to me three times i like your personality me thanks i have like three more what gives people power money status mitochondria don't let a good day distract you from all the progress you've made oh push means push pussup means pull well that took a while well it took me far too long people have forgotten the original original battle royale oh true judaism oh no oh we've got some educating to do wake me up wake me up inside i can't wake up wake me up inside save me do babies grow on their own or do we need to interact with them i forgot to look at the group name and was genuinely concerned lol seven-year-old me gazing at the night sky 20 year old me gazing at the night sky yeah it never gets old i used to slap this poor cat for no fracking reason going to sleep because you're tired going to sleep because you've had enough of being conscious that physically hurts slowest things in the world internet explorer snails that's sloth from the dmv pre-game tutorial of a game i've already played make tutorials skippable getting socks for christmas when you're five getting socks for christmas at 25 speak for yourself jesus you ever just get a sharp stabbing pain in one of your organs and think ah frack it's finally happening as a proud owner of chronic nerve pain uh yes actually it's great wait did i turn off the stove yep it's off everything's fine a few moments later wait thinking about starting streaming the amount of setup necessary to not commit tax fraud the path to success whatever the frack i'm doing the end of australia uh anybody want to meet me here and have a climactic sword battle at sunset while we yell at each other about our ideologies that does seem like the perfect place for it nobody even said thank you oh come on thank you frozone we appreciate you when my therapist starts suggesting lifestyle changes don't you dare touch my trash self-proclaimed free thinkers when the cha-cha slide comes on all y'all are just slaves to the media you want to travel so bad you didn't notice it was a cake actually i i saw a cake first i really want cake now i wish i wasn't so skinny i wish i was skinnier i wish i was smaller i wish i was bigger i wish i wasn't hollow inside i'm just an empty shell i wish i wasn't tripping so hard the pasta knows i accidentally mentioned that i have a boyfriend and lost half my twitch subscribers yeah you all gotta be careful about that when you become an uber driver and you drop off a dude at your girlfriend's house oh oh no okay i'm banning dadbot hi banning dadbot i'm dead [ __ ] when your government bombs another country you can't point you on a map america and that brings us to the end of a painfully relatable me irl but wait we have something for that self burn it's some lovely fan art today's fan art is brought to you by to call for you to cal for you sorry and they say yes i made a reddit just to post this fan art for mk i can't draw hands sorry but i hope you like it love your vids and watch them every day my art is at crayon box on tumblr okay thank you aw thank you so much tucal for you for not being able to draw hands you drew hands pretty well and if you enjoyed this menagerie of me irl hit that like button if you want to get called out more hit that red subscribe button as always my name is thelexikitty but you all can call me lexie have an absolutely victorious day tomorrow stay safe stay awesome make more stuff and i will see you guys in the next video

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,049,237

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, Me_irl

Id: v8T31roy7Y8

Length: 14min 2sec (842 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 25 2021