r/Cursedcomments | she's bacon...

hello filters and gentlemen hi ladies and cheaters hello upper two balls and lower two balls [Music] gordon tug my cheesy garlic breads welcome to mk i hope that didn't make you suddenly crave cheated garlic bread i'm not sponsored by any cheesy garlic bread today they don't have my family hostage what are you talking about my name is garlic cheesy bread you can call me jack for short and today we shall teeth the tea to that he has cursed comments so get in female dogs we're going shopping amber heard speaks out about marilyn manson abuse allegations trump and hitler actually both drink water literally frightening the people will vote for this man so dangerous i also drink water time to genocide this is why i insert my water anally he's not reacting in fear that's just the face he makes when he does it himself that's the newest form of hydration if you're fortunate enough your internal organs will spend their entire life span in absolute darkness oh my organs are goths who knew not if i swallow this glow stick rave party that sounds like a job for the anus well this looks like a good job for me so everybody just follow me except if you're behind me because you're gonna get poopy all on you two sentence horror she threw her arms around my neck and we kissed passionately in the deserted laundry room i didn't realize something was wrong until a third arm grabbed my waist and a fourth reached for my crotch genuine grievous you're hornier than i expected oh hello there general kenobi here to find out the real love this is how it works in case you didn't know use the doggy search just yanking out a little chain to make the tail wig can you give your dog a heart attack by shaking its tail manually dart don't test that out i what if he's right oh my gosh girls only think of love and guys only think of love farts ah nah he's australian he wants to clap the thunder down under shower thoughts long ago a wolf explained to his son eat a man and you'll be fed for a day whimper and roll over and play dead and he'll feed you for a lifetime and the next day the wolf woke up to fight his balls missing starfish are ruthless a patrick knight that that's technically a civilian patrick james bond license to kill he is wearing a raincoat underwater ah no blood spill my girlfriend has 206 bones in her body now 207 now 206 now 207 at 206 only legends will get this apparently the meme needs to reiterate this only legends will get this guys guys do you understand class class do we understand the rules i don't want to see any students who are not legends my girlfriend has 206 bones in her body now 25 now 204 203 now 232 201 200. unless they're real killers look at this girls i have a boyfriend what's his zodiac sign boys i have a girlfriend is she real is she alive like this image and you will literally breathe air i'm not kidding you will literally breathe air i showed this to my grandma and she hasn't breathed air yet dad wears short shorts to prove a point to his teen daughter oh you mean a dad showing his girl that her cake is nothing compared to his entire bakery child what you have are mini muffins i've got some whole meal loaves feel my fiber my lung cancer cats i see on the internet oh so cute beautiful look at this strawberry cat i have at my home hey do you reckon you can come in we're pretty understaffed he looks like he ate bees and then drank an entire cake of beer to deal with the pain and then murdered the rats that discussed him by glaring at him what the frick is going on your cat yeah wow so relatable hey yeah just think of all the good things in life a taco that's one multiple tacos you're doing it rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens yeah that's great stick in my peepee and rotisserie chickens okay we're gonna stop there cinema in switzerland replaces seeds with beds cinema workers oh oh boy who's clapping the movie isn't finished yet what how did you think i washed the dishes he uses his wiener to clean the insides of the glasses oh same it was me eight-year-old me imagining catfish wait till an eight-year-old imagines a cockroach yep that's a rooster head on a bug that's that's what we're thinking of hey kids i hope no one is eating any cookies before lunch time not both it can't see us if we don't move kids i thought that it said coochies instead of cookies my sex life is like over 19. i don't have covert 19. oh i thought your sex life had a mortality rate well yeah that's what he meant like there's no life left i wish i was a cow eating grass in a field no rent no job no college just [Music] all fun and games until history memes nobody cartographers in the 1800s playing the biggest prank of all time mexico i still think canada should just annex the us and mexico to make the comfort but such a thing would be a dramatic change in our society as we know it it would require massive debates a lot of masturbation minecraft people who started this year people who started this year people who started in 2013. drug called grey death can kill with just one dose okay is this a warning or an advertisement cause i'm sick of the tease i need help with food please i have four kids and i am pregnant think you need to consume lester pie my american wife when she sees me encouraged drinking to our 16 year old son me an italian seeing no problem with it german here high five no germany and italy good old times stop it right there backside armor of nikki of minaj god damn it my lord i'm trying to take back the holy land but i'm dummy thick and the clap of my armor keeps alerting the soldiers they try their best teachers when they add and just have fun to the instructions why is no one having a good time i specifically requested it better than college exams my professor wrote the college counseling service's number in the header of one exam oh no buddy that was just yours i just i knew you were doomed so just thinking ahead how do they know an animal is extinct like you looked everywhere yeah my dad must be extinct still ain't found him what medieval castle toilets looked like imagine how loud the farts were the sound bouncing off that stone chute some say they can still hear the echoes of farts long past okay there have been a lot of fart jokes lately for this video i i am better than this howard can you hear me blink once for yes twice for no i'm just kidding your eyelids burned off in the fire oh come on howard that was funny come on howard the joke was fire come on howard stop being in such a hot mess all the photos i've collected so far i am so happy and proud of my little collection looks like a mass funeral service numb was rough yeah i love the color patterns but those flowers are not doing it any justice irre pennsylvania woman high on meth dies after pumping gasoline into okay well she was a diesel i guess yep that's the scientific consensus a german outfit on an italian character made by a japanese company looks like nintendo is getting the old gang back together well we have had a lot of reboots lately so i'm not surprised the if your girl meme shouldn't be popular on reddit because none of us have a girl i have several in my basement um why is hermione trying to seduce hagrid hey hagrid want me to win guardian leviosa that peepee of yours in the vietnamese version of cinderella tam cam at the end cinderella dismembered her stepsister puts the body into a jar of food and sent it to her stepmother to eat which she enjoyed until she found the skull at the bottom of the jar and died of shock yeah come on disney where's this remake huh i love stories with a happy ending i mean they're not wrong nobody nobody at my funeral there is going to be a closed casket and then it will be open to reveal that i am not inside instead they will turn on the ceiling van and my lifeless body will swing around the room while the space jam theme song is playing in the background never mind my mum says i can't do that oh they're so cute and they open their eyes they open their eyes and they close their eyes they close their eyes could you imagine the puppy just whispers into his ear as he's driving saying little encouraging words like just keep driving if you want to see your family again john yes be a good boy you're awful jimmy where's that you invited me on your show just to make fun of me walken is gonna make a joke that blows jimmy's mind away that's exactly why he's made that face he's seen the movie he knows rat is being particularly grumpy today how do you deal with a grumpy rat have you tried threatening it with its natural predator what that's a bat yes it's a bat beach your rat me likes animations my parents wouldn't that make you a kid what if it was hentai it's for kids when the dna test isn't needed ah a cat with a very short looking mustache right under its nose that must be a very nice wholesome thing i reckon no one's gonna reference hitler come here come here right now get over here don't run away fun fact a baby born underwater can live its entire life without breathing oh god no that's not true it is true you've never said they would live long the beauty of chess beautifully diverse photo a humans of all color and age and maybe even a woman oh my god how are you dealing with depression restlessness and burnout during the pandemic cocaine which is my dog's name not the drug that would be meth the duality of man just pov or if you want to date with someone whose back must absolutely hurt seriously you need a brace say you consider yourself an aspiring writer describe this woman in your best prose i saw her again today the woman of my dreams blocks of ebony hair dark like a starless knight and beautiful as the sun setting over the sea i yearn to be with her today's the day i will make her mine whether by words of force or by the ropes in my car she will be so beautiful on our wedding oh wow she got fat fluffy milkers we are defined by our actions not our intentions i'm not wearing any underwear then maybe we could go back to my place so you don't get a cold oh warm anyone just going to ignore the giant sperm emanating from the dude's mug it was supposed to be this night david you failed us i shall wait upon your testicular region for no longer i am a free pig ah seriously i can't go to work wearing this see you tonight sweetie why was he naked in front of his son that's all right this is just a cupcakes it's not it's not an actual human being it's just cupcake they're not naked i'm japanese high school student i love usa i desire friendly relation of japan and usa continue forever of course you desire peace otherwise you'll get another nuke random 14 year old girl explaining why she found my kids in the basement joke offensive me waiting for her to finish so i can tell her i wasn't joking me waiting for her to finish that i can put her two in the basement gotta catch him now story of every dad waiter kids under 12 eat free yes i am eight and my dad is ten dad i love you son i truly do well dad got laid at the age of one this is gary baldwin from brazil he may look scary but he's one of the nicest birds i know big bird i'm sorry but gary baldo looks like he sells orphans oh he actually replied oh no hardcore is frick jessica cox world's first pilot with no arms born with a congenital disease she can write type drive a car brush her hair and talk on her phone simply using her feet that's cool and all but i can assure you i'd never get in a plane with her geez dude it's 20 21 female pilots are a thing shaking my head no that's damn it what would you do in this situation hey my peepee added so the gravitational pull will enlarge it then someone will love me how was your day it was great imagine you tell your friend that your day was good and they just rip off your face and say ah i see it was it's good get up stop stop lying on the floor like that team steal what they think is cocaine end up snorting their grandfather's ash how much did they snort half a grand brunch i'm not my parent's son anymore i'm their daughter edit trans rights are human rights i'm proud of you but i thought they sold you for a second was kind of hoping i wasn't alone for once but that's that's that's good it's good i'm happy for you eight-year-old me wondering about why nasa couldn't use its spaceships to go to heaven they can if they come back down faster no men being silent during sex is so funny to me like what's on your mind king realizing the absurdity of life and that we are slowly approaching the death with each tick off the clock and nothing will matter in the air snap i'm coming babe this is why i use lyft oh my uber's here uber you mean uber eats we should compliment each other more often you're freakable prove it unzips weiner wait no you mean your pants right right they said what they had to say is it okay for men to sit down on the toilet to pee i always sit on the toilet to pee whenever possible it's just so much more comfortable and seems like you get every last drop out while sitting down is there anything wrong with that ain't nothing wrong with peeing while sitting down it's more comfortable gives you some time to rest and there's less chance of making a mess sure people might give you weird looks of the urinals but either you bro god damn it i was wondering where it was going bro the guy directly stared at the camera as i nutted worst wank ever ah dishonorable discharge incredible okay well welcome to the fan rt area of the video today's work is by this leafeon their first time trying some fahrenheit oh given us a scaly mk i think you know what i'm really vibing spider-man in this for some reason it's probably the colors i think the colors are making me think spider-man great and beautiful work leafeon thank you so much that is one bloodshot eyeball though i'm worried for that eyeball's health it needs to see a doctor as always if you'd like to see your fan art in the next video be sure to post it on the mk subreddit and with that said as well it is time for the end of this video don't know why i was yelling there i'm just tired if you are at the end of this video you clearly enjoyed yourself so a little like goes a long way my name has been jack your weird little voice for today and i hope you enjoyed yourself feel free to say hi in the comments or on my socials like to say hello to you all there as well of course if you've got the time to procrastinate still why not check out another video but for now have a good one love your face i'll see you for the next time bye

Channel: EmKay

Views: 827,695

Rating: 4.9591594 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, Cursedcomments

Id: -LdZbG-Bjb4

Length: 14min 54sec (894 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 29 2021