r/Cursedcomments | sleep well :)

what's it with blond-haired guys being so cute aside from jake paul and all the tick-tock e-boys i swear to god every cute guy i've ever talked to in the past week has been blonde haired there was this dude in germany who thought the same thing you think all blond-haired guys are cute hey editor throw a picture of me up there real quick yeah that's what i thought idiot crush my rib cage you load bearing behemoth [Music] what's up ladies and gentlemen welcome back to mk i'm your host robin and today i'm going to be taking a look at r cursed comments because as i've mentioned plenty of times before i enjoy pain and anything cursed because it causes pain oh god i am insane this job has really messed with my brain quite a bit yeah all right before i lose it anymore let's jump right in there shall we for about 15 years i've carried one of these to silence annoying tvs in different places i donate about three a month i know what might drive the establishments proprietor insane trying to figure out what happened to the volume but blaring the view in waiting rooms should be illegal take this tip and live longer where does this guy be going to have to donate three of these a month he goes around plugging them into heart monitors and hospitals so the alarms don't annoy people thank you those are so annoying like if you're gonna die just do it why let everybody know breathing normally is easy mode i turned on the asthma difficulty for the extra challenge oh so it's an optional difficulty how do i turn it off start a new game thanks number one killer bean fan mcdonald starts using fresh beef today so what the heck were we eating before well every once in a while a kid gets lost in the ball pit oh god it's like charlie in the chocolate factory but for burgers how my bed survived five years on 2b2t that moment when you realized that the bed survived longer than an anti-vaxx kid oh my god come on viral video shows gender reveal flair hitting dad in the crotch no more gender reveals coming from this family thankfully oh no taking blue balls to another level trending searches among us it was orange saw him going to the vents then he got stuck in the vents what are you doing crewmate step crewmate when i'm done with you there won't be a body to report oh no me at school dressed to impress me in online classes naked and afraid naked i get but afraid of what that's your house don't let those kids in the basement make you feel any different afraid that i don't accidentally turn on the camera a gift from the gods he saw that he's actually the second biggest in class yep could have called that one could have called that one a mile away today the teacher asked me how i view lesbian relationships apparently in full hd wasn't the right answer i said through binoculars and apparently that's not right either i just want to show everyone the candle i said to my friend for her birthday you like our friendship is like this candle if you forget me i'll burn down your freaking house but if you blow me there will be no problem oh boy i swear to god the tail end of the millennials has made the world significantly hornier than it ever has been condoms are pay to win well pulling out is a skill based game abortion is the cheat code oh my god my dad has given me a total of 55 000 plus to have a better life here in california ended up selling nudes on reddit while working on a nursing degree roast me enough to stop using this app to have a better life here in california no i think daddy sent you to california so you wouldn't breed with your brother he learned from his own mistakes jesus man also depending on where you're living in california 55 000 might let you live for about a week and a half funniest among us moment i have ever witnessed i was with brown you are brown i played with a guy named cop and he always voted against black i bet that joke never got old the us army wants to create biodegradable bullets that plant flowers wherever they fall american streets unrealistic he's not black oh my god dude i hate it when this happens can everyone please unmute and turn their cameras on i then have to freaking sprint to put on pants a hat and hide my 12 ukrainian child slaves it's oddly specific but okay i don't know what emotion this is but i've definitely felt it canadian leather face he looks delicious mcdonald's starts using fresh beef today so what the heck were we eating before oh boy oh boy i'm afraid to look meow meow yeah i was right to be afraid god damn it the teacher hands out test results the vegan kid starts eating his nails the atheist kid starts praying the smart but lazy kid starts sweating the asian kid starts crying the quiet kid takes out his gun the class clown suddenly becomes silent i'd like to thank stalin for the collab on this one had a lot of fun i have nothing to say these face masks come with a straw hole for sipping cocktails now with condoms you can pee through cpr is like sex even bad cpr is better than no cpr not really you can kill children and infants by performing it incorrectly you can also break plenty of ribs on an adult well uh yeah the same thing goes for performing cpr incorrectly dude if being cute is a crime i deserve to be arrested and jailed for a hundred years a hundred years for a crime you didn't commit dead body reported if being cute was a crime i would have the death sentence for breaking the geneva convention in syria and several murders that guy must be nine freaking years old friend opens up a business and becomes a millionaire in a year me how did you do it friend the silent barber for men and women we cut heads silently we cut heads silently hold up honestly i can see why he would become a millionaire so freaking fast just shut up man my haircut takes four seconds there's always a side to every story are you winning son yes dad i just donated three thousand dollars to my queen so hopefully she can go out with me are you winning hon yes dad some dumbass donated three thousand dollars to my stream thinking he has a chance with me they have the same dad well mrs brown i've got bad news and good news the bad news is you have cancer you'll be dead in three weeks what's the good news you're pregnant wait double kill depression freaks me hard while i do nothing about it big black guy named depression enters the room hey step bro imagine you miss a payment on a tesla and it drives itself back to the dealership imagine dead old people in their teslas just arriving places nice that tesla brought me dinner okay hannibal calm down going to a new bar everyone's being surprisingly nice towards you too nice it's okay bar heard you can get free drinks there kind of a pain in the ass to do it though just say no homo hey man free beer is free beer english traditional english simplified oh oh shots fired bloody hell i spilled my tea terrible waste i wasted a good [ __ ] can of bud light [ __ ] me in the ass i thought they're an evil version of the kkk wait a minute hold up dude if you feed a moose it may become aggressive and attack the next human it meets if it has no food to offer feeding a moose is my favorite hobby now let's see if we can get these death numbers up you know you wake up one morning and have penis fingers how would that change your life i'd never eat at kfc again finger licking good just doesn't sound that appealing with fingers are you sure man really think about it for a minute buzzfeed idea kids that play minecraft are left in the woods to survive for seven days another idea kids that play fortnite are deployed into iraq for seven days oh my god guys how much you want to bet both of these shows are going to be on g4's lineup when they come back german language compared to other languages this is completely wrong everyone knows surprise in german is blitzkrieg san francisco right now it's a girl woo god damn it what's wrong i didn't bring my floaty oh that seems a little weird you shall now float for eternity slowly wearing down as you melt in the acid that is water perish child for your greed has killed you crewmate there is one imposter among us jesus was not an imposter one impostor remains i don't know he was being kind of sus he was hacking i saw him walk in water he was definitely hacking he turned my water into wine you've been visited by the good sleep hamster up but within the next six seconds and you will be blessed with cozy and restful sleeps to view more of such cute photos of hamsters visit xhamster.com oh no no no no no zero filter oregon who the heck turned on hardcore mode ah that's just the blood moon everybody's respawning helicopter go burt me when a helicopter passes age 10 age 40 me when i'm a rice farmer in vietnam our slash fall guys game uh oh humpty dumpty had a great fall all the king's horses and all the king's men gang banged him so hard he'll never walk again there it is what does this even mean correct why did the teacher hang a jacket on her pp oh that has got to be the worst comic i've ever seen if you see this tweet you have to reply with the last tweet that you drafted babies kick pregnant moms all the time but oh i do it one time and i'm the one arrested shut up dream imagine if keanu joins the police force he will be truly breathtaking are we still doing that joke okay i don't know about you but i choose borgore tall blonde and gorgeous painfully thick borger if i get a kid's meal does that mean the fbi is a coming yes laser tag employee [ __ ] kick me out because apparently melee isn't permitted cringe use grenades yeah come on too mad you got up your game insects wait i can explain cats and dogs you guys have six legs while we've only got four legs human beings four we've only got two snakes you guys have legs centipedes all i have are legs imagine a snake with centipede legs those things don't exist for a reason i'm sure at one point they probably did we wrote letters to a kid with cancer my letter read it's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor well i just want to say that i'm a huge fan man thoughts hmm i live for cute little boobies and short girls to have someone to cuddle boy do i have a netflix movie for you oh oh no no no no no no no cruising come on do it for the anniversary do a barrel roll yeah please do a barrel roll may as well give your passenger something for the exorbitant ticket price is right i busted a fat nut last night okay i'm screen shotting that it was a walnut in fact piccolo wears boxers hiding the dicolo i'm sorry but it looks like this thing came to your house and the first thing you did after opening it was pull its pants down yeah that does appear to be the case doesn't it i know that's what zach does with transformers he just wants to make sure that they are in fact the guys the film when my mother walks in avengers end game has a secret scene where hulk gives his magnum dong to black widow and this is due to the fact that i accidentally downloaded the porn parody what a fun story me opening google in public the porn tab i left open crap now everyone knows i'm into buddha oh god 2020 will prove that god is a woman that explains why there are so many problems i get it woman stupid getting him an empty ps5 box and filling it with a thousand reasons of why you love him i'll fill that box with a thousand pieces of her oh my god man it's just a goddamn ps5 you goddamn man child lmao joe thinks his punishment is just to watch his car get blown up little does he know we locked his wife and kids in the trunk how's that a punishment you're just giving him a few months worth of food a few months how big are these kids i'm not a burger you're more than a burger you're a steak you're a stew a versatile queen is what you are damn right change her never replace her it's gonna be you who gets replaced soon yeah and he so deserves it who the hell has the mindset of changing their partner huh has that listen honey throw that guy's chubby arrogant ass to the curb and gets you someone you deserve i ran every day for three years my dad started running 31 years ago and he's still going to this day well done dad can't wait for you to get back so i can hear all about your journey ah george mom and dad son you're adopted sister oh god not sure scarlett johansson being my sister would stop me in the first place i'm going to rip my ears off the view from my window today is freaking crazy why is the sky red your window hella dirty the neighbors did a gender reveal okay schlatt apparently you can reheat pizza by turning your toaster on its side you're welcome don't try it it'll be great when the cheese and sauce drip into the elements can't clean that sure you can just leave it plugged in turn it on and use a butter knife oh geez some kids might try this natural selection just like the pods they were eating that is fair sometimes you really do have to learn a lesson the hard way what should i sell next kidney stones what huh cursed kiss what do you do after sex kiss her forehead and close the coffin good night girl i'll see you tomorrow jumps off building oh my god guys i didn't start out with very many brain cells when i became a narrator for mk but let me tell you i don't have very many left these subreddits are yanking them out at a rate which i thought to be impossible interesting pornhub leak reveals most of their actors are not actually step siblings reveals most alabama level 100 they're actual siblings [Laughter] good good it's catholic canon that in the garden of gethsemane jesus christ saw every sin committed by human beings which means that he watched a guy blasting rope to waluigi hentai and still decided to sacrifice himself for humanity absolute legend if blasting rope to waluigi hentai is a sin then heaven help me i'm a sinner what's something you can say to both your rotisserie chicken and your significant other i prefer you without skin what nice work agent 47 now make your way to the extraction point i love this guy 99 of every comment he ever gets is agent 47 related or johnny sins and he takes it in stride disregarding the whole simp thing this has to be a sexual awakening for some kid yeah it probably will be come to your swamp daddy girls when they find out that shrek is six foot nine what are you doing in my swamp invasion for the pickle don't ever say that again i swear to god if masturbation was an olympic sport what categories would athletes be judged on distance endurance and speed also long shot accuracy volume consistency taste taste who's the judge your mom me i can't understand this chapter teacher what's hard my d mine too oh okay remember y'all zelda is canonically 17 in age of calamity so it's not okay to sexualize her also remember that zelda is canonically fictional speaking of which her thighs looking mighty fine right now wow there is so much to unpack there i think i'm just going to move on and we're never going to mention this again what the hell is sex well you see luigi when a paisano puts his spaghetti noodle into mamma mia's ravioli melania's ass trump the secret service guy who has to taste test everything before the president can oh no oh no come on she is the chosen one when you take your pants off and she doesn't joke about your size op we've talked about this unconscious women can't joke about your dick just wait until god hears about this all right he's blowing up a little heart balloon that says yours and oh no it's ours you're a commie my dad is gonna kill me our dad is gonna kill us wait a minute came for the artwork came to the artwork oh oh glock 19 underwater test schools in bikini bottom shut the hell up i'm french and five people in my family were killed on verdun i'm german and my great grandpa killed five people there wow what a coinky doink music sheets have been quite offensive lately you [ __ ] peepee very soft die motherfu oh really music sheet's mom thought my peepee was quite fortissimo she would rather use a vibrato oh damn you can now buy a bell delphine bathwater cooled pc a computer with a pre-installed virus good god i genuinely don't think anything said about this girl phases her she's worth quite a bit of freaking money at this point right she's gotta be a millionaire by now from this garbage romeo trying to wake juliet up checking to see if she's breathing wait freaking five minutes drink the poison romeo's dumb the body was still warm people whose jobs require them to enter someone else's house such as plumbers and electricians what was the weirdest thing you've seen at a customer's home my wife tough break there man is it okay to hit a disabled person if he's being a knob or she right ladies you can't call being a woman a disability anymore woman born without a vagina raises money so she can have sex with her boyfriend is there something wrong with her a-hole i'm dying coming soon in your mom's mouth you're from syria the only thing coming your way is the next air strike holy crap this is why i avoid facebook at all costs my penis when i stand up in front of an audience my penis when i'm about to have sex just have sex in front of an audience yeah a lot of the times you can make pretty decent money by doing that if there was a zombie apocalypse what do you think the ask reddit questions will be like redditors who have had to kill an infected loved one how do you cope with the guilt i keep them in my basement and relive the sexy times whenever i feel nostalgic what are you doing step zombie i personally can't think of a more perfect note to end the video on so here we go some fan art for mk i made i hope this gets featured your wish is my command oh look how cute it is always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed this video folks consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed it well then make sure to get yourself subscribed and click that bell icon and until next i feel like getting tortured i'll be seeing you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 2,377,534

Rating: 4.9492073 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, cursedcomments, cursed comments, reddit cursed, reddit memes, reddit funny, cursed memes

Id: d5ihjB-yqSw

Length: 18min 59sec (1139 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 23 2020