r/Cursedcomments | oh no

me meows my cat wondering how i committed to more war crimes than him wait a minute mr fluffles what did you do in kosovo couldn't have any survivors you know [Music] hello you kind kindlings welcome back to mk it is i the jack the snack that smiles back and today you have decided to horrify your senses you either visually or audibly depending on how you're going to receive this painful information as it's time for cursed comments the kind of stuff that you why why do people say these things anyway sit down relax and enjoy the video bloodborne girls during puberty beat saber boys during puberty me during puberty but kendall's does she's living like a true hannah montana best of both worlds my girlfriend broke up with me because of my constant zodiac puns it finally tore us apart she had a reason to but no she just had cancer welcome to case comments folks if it's not about butts and anal it's about cancer that it's like the two things but hey life advice if you feel offended don't not making any edgy memes because people could get offended making edgy memes only about china because they can't access social media anyways that's a little less than trickery redacted removed missing banned guys i'm still alive it was lara croft's bazoom size was an awful mistake nigel west one of the original developers of tomb raider admitted years after the game first released that the size of lara's chest was merely a mistake in the coding he made the mistake because it's hard to code with one hand hey guys i spent 50 years buried alive in a coffin go watch yeah so my dad's been doing that for five years get good noob ugh me looks at crush crush looks at me my brain immediately thinking of them dying in front of me how romantic is this love well i like imagining people's deaths too when you see a good meme but instead of upvoting it you press the home button no no stay with me don't leave me made me laugh to be honest who nutted in batman's eye i want you dead leave before you make me tarnish my name seven inappropriate moments james bond wouldn't get away with now no no you will never take away my right to put a dwarf in a suitcase and a retexture i love the original textures but the colors have never made sense to me anyone else well the pearls are testicles and that's why some endermen don't drop them that explains the high shrill scream when they die okay props to your workout tone routine but please sanitize that after after grinding on it i wonder if she farted with the holes make a flute sound every rap is just so you're telling me that g-spot is not a place where homies hang out together it was but they couldn't find it ah yes the classic speaker system you're lying if you said you didn't poke the hole with your finger yeah but it wasn't my finger seriously though what was the point of that hole i swear it's like they knew that they wanted to be remembered for something so it's like let's just put a hole in it it's like kids will park kit you know what i think we can blame these speakers for the growing trend in butthole fetishes of our generation my father is dying please stop beatboxing no way it's a sick beat you own him want him to hear it oh god hurry up and take me already friday night funeral this is hand of blood a german youtuber who always dresses accordingly to the game he plays this time he played world of tanks so he dressed as a tank i just thought people need to see this do you get the props he might want to stay away from wolfenstein no commit commit meanwhile in cringetopia my name was chloe i wanted to live your personal choice killed me don't buy it hmm i would look for one with my name on it like those coca-cola bottles oh your death will not be in vain chloe start grilling crazy ideas breast implants should contain helium so your enlarged breasts don't feel as heavy as they should but helium would slip through plastic or silicone or glass so you could suck on them for a squeaky voice as well i'd love to hear a baby laugh on helium i don't want much for myself i just want the person reading this to be healthy happy and loved wishing you a good day i'm a serial killer but thank you this comment just gave me the will to continue with my work i've made a bad choice girl are you a microwave because because you belong in the kitchen now that's a real line no cat on a frying pan that's cute he's found a warm spot light it linda no little satan i'm not releasing you from your demon prison just yet damn it linda i suffer scientists find skeleton of nature's first sexual predator oh it's always nice to see discord mods embrace their cultural heritage and the coronavirus lasted longer than any of my relationships well it's easy to last longer than something that never existed and yet their relationship lasted longer than your mother's love for you oh my god gentlemen please this woman just came and bought three hundred dollars worth of fireworks and i was being nice and said oh you're planning a big barbecue and she said no my son has muscular dystrophy and was supposed to die by 18. we're celebrating his 40th birthday tomorrow he likes fireworks wow oh my god not the best way to put him out of his misery if you ask me hmm i'm trying to conduct a global maritime trade but i'm dummy thick and the club of my home plate keeps blocking the swiss canal why do i gotta learn about global news like this porn how bad hot girls want a frick near you astronauts he could be any one of us i wonder how the physics of the nut would come out in 0g let's be honest here i'm sure someone has studied this and actually tested it by now anonymous testicle checking booth debuts in new zealand it's all fun and games until someone is recognized by touch oh hey tom wait honey is that you ideas for uni students if you study art history you should try a real degree oh no i mean we don't want to reject them either went rather poorly last time red beach in homer's island iran oh yes it's made from the blood of the infidels hey here's the thought our buttholes are watertight we can go swimming get water in our ears nose and mouth our butts however no water amazing on a more serious note that's because it's a sphincter fun fact blowholes for whales and dolphins are also a sphincter basically whales and dolphins have a butthole on the top of their head or we have blowholes inside our asses oh no after last night i think you're right oh no a portal for your mom nice and my mom died five years ago i can't wait to see her again thank you oh having a pet as a pet having a pet as a friend having a friend as a pet i like you the coffee shop had among us cookies today oh nice they should make one of the cookies the imposter and just freaking poison it just one kid casually foaming at the mouth in the middle of the coffee shop oh someone stars all right quick let's inject him before the police come ooh he jumped down it's a portal loop what if your phobias are based on how you died in a past life people with a phobia of death oh the prophecy is true claustrophobic people hydraulic press intensifies liver 98 000 to 130 000 kidney and pancreas 150 000 or kidney for 62 000 i can sell my kidney for 62 grand gaming pcs on me boys it's more profitable if you sell someone else's me my kinky wife our cat everyone gangster until the cat learns how to do this too oh kitty eating kitty the most dangerous phrase in the language is we've always done it this way oh you posted on tumblr now to completely take it out of proper context come on let's mix it up the heart surgeon says but but we've always done it this way the other replies this is how you replace a heart valve oh that that's the most dangerous phrase in the human language the first surgeon replies haughtily as he inputs a fruit loop into the patient's heart this will be his valve he will be a fruit loop in a world of cheerios this comment is the only acceptable response to this quote you may make mistakes but at least they're usually not we can see your mistake from space bad step ship i'm stuck opens reddit read to this comment closes read it nobody youtube recommendations at 3am oh boys it's about to get down we've got the emo boy versus echoes step back connor mcgregor this ain't your turf anymore oh wait we're gonna we're gonna modernize it consexual it was risky i am a tiny fox dado and i believe in you you can do the thing you're right i can rob that bank what is a disturbing fact you wish you could unlearn my mom told me i have my grandma's nipples what we'll give them back that's rude remember when miss frizzle took the kids to get nutted on by salmon what were the 90s and 80s cartoons man that's salmon swimming by like oh man i'm so going to jail for this so that's how aquaman started what it's one of the closest looks at a live volcano incredible drone footage shows icelandic volcanoes first eruption in 800 years wow so majestic such a rare opportunity for us to experience that in our lives i hope we as a human race can really just fathom the absolute beauty of this image it looks like satan ejaculating but when a boy and a girl kiss it makes a baby right did i miss a page i kissed my girlfriend and she got pregnant can confirm kiss makes baby the baby is different color for me and my girlfriend though bro that's super rare it's shiny if i'm correct about the odds that that's about one out of 8192 wow a shiny baby i'ma sell it on ebay leaked footage from inside the ship stuck in the swiss canal we've done it boys global trade is no more but skipper how are we going to commit war crimes without the weapons that were on that ship a man walks into a library asks the librarian do you have the new book on living life with a small penis she searches her computer and says i don't see anything i don't think it's in yet the man says yes that's the one my dear was in the guinness book of world records until some librarian told me to take it out well my year just so small that when i put it in a girl her immune system tries to fight it off this is my bill after getting bit by a snake 83 grand in the pharmacy a lot how what kind of snake were you bitten by a dragon or something i honestly what the hell imagine your car declines and they bring the snake back in bitcoin ain't the only thing going up sperm cost is skyrocketing your balls are a gold mine yeah i know my shock's net worth is higher than elon's when a vegan says their pet is vegan too but the pet is a rabbit all right carry on my pet tate worm is vegan when the restaurant is small but the owner is creative so the waiter asked if i wanted to go top or bottom and i think that's where the confusion began your honor when she calls you trash and so you find someone that actually cares for you i want the story behind this the boy got lucky and got to clap a trash panda's cheeks that night what is a disturbing fact you wish you could unlearn that tumors can grow teeth hey i prefer to call them children but okay so mean geez oh but we're not stopping there it takes three full rotations to remove the human head because of the skin's elasticity how is this popular you're telling me that people don't know this fact um that's useful not disturbing and that comment is disturbing not useful customer images oh look at all those white teeth my teeth are so white they started taking other people's land oh oh i think that's the first time my company has wanted to remove a five-star review my grandpa just turned 91 this is his birthday present to himself wow grandpa likes to go fast into crowds of people oh no oh god oh no congrats madam it's too healthy i think boys um hey guys look animal crossing it's a rare condition that can cause bones to fuse making the spine curve forward oh god this looks like a really honestly horrible condition to be living with and i feel really sorry for the guy but i can tell already what someone is going to say about this i know we all thought about him blowing himself yeah heart goes out to the sky for all the goddamn tedious comments i know he's probably aware of i'll slash teenagers how do i give oral to my girlfriend where do i lick do i suck and if so where do i put my tongue inside how do i know i am pleasing her and if i am not do i use my fingers what is what all right calm down buddy i'll lay it down easy for you first step use a drill sometimes you're the canal sometimes you're the boat is this about anal in a way isn't everything about anal yeah it is high five no i don't want to high five those hands you're in a locked room with a snowman and a carrot jigsaw tells you to put the carrot where it belongs putting the carrot on the snowman's nose unlocks the door and sets you free putting the carrot on the snowman's crotch would be pretty funny but detonates a pipe bomb i'm sorry anonymous no but you you can no longer make sawtraps i've spoken to my mate jigsaw we've just decided to ban you from the club where with my first instinct up like okay wow i guess everything is about anal the law of equivalent exchange what you send to him hmm what he sends to you oh master has given dobby a cheese sock this is those technically clothing sword free oh god i'm free me equips new skin the guy i took it from hey man huh oh i was i was still using that even if you're careful you can't remove more than 30 of someone's skin or they will die of dehydration so you you have to wait till the first patch heals a bit before you continue skinning at least that's what a professor told the class when someone mentioned pedophiles a woman battling breast cancer married the love of her life on december 22 just 18 hours before passing away the couple wed at a hospital chapel in connecticut what's up gamers all right we're going to try this winter or speedrun any percent ooh boogity boogity it's time for some fernandi work today's work is by appella rin hello abella thank you for submitting their friend wanted to draw mk's waifu so they did here you go as always if you would like to simp for this new waifu oc uh they don't have a twitch yet but you can send your money to me instead don't worry i'll i'll make sure it goes towards her amazon wishlist thank you for the hard work you put an impeller in posting your friend's work we're trying to steal their content and glory ha ha but as always if you'd like to see your own artwork in a future video be sure to post your beautiful stuff on the mk subreddit as for now though that is the end of today's goodies i hope you had some fun enjoy today's video and if you did i mean if you're listening to me right now you clearly did so like this video and all the other jargon of you subscribing otherwise i will threaten violence upon you yada yada yada you know the drill already as always i love your faces and as always i will see you for the next one and as always my name has been jack and as always i will keep just saying as always because i don't know how to end things sometimes i just i don't want them to end between us why why do you have to go don't leave please don't go no

Channel: EmKay

Views: 995,261

Rating: 4.9648867 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, Cursedcomments

Id: zB2FOhRNulc

Length: 15min 16sec (916 seconds)

Published: Thu May 06 2021