r/Cursedcomments | crunchy

mom son why do you want to be a pilot son to overcome my biggest fear heights dying alone yeah that's great but that font is oh i hate it [Music] what's going on ladies and gentlemen welcome back to mk i'm your host robin yeah i know i'm back again i'm sorry too and today we're going to be taking a look at r slash cursed comments oh no okay i guess i can't say oh no i actually kind of like this sub okay without much further ado let's hop right in there lego star wars the skywalker saga gameplay trailer i'm looking forward to the level with anakin and the younglings yeah you and me both brother young people after they fall off the roof old people after they sleep in a weird position i don't know man every baby i threw off the roof didn't make it oh baby bat lick click click i am vengeance i am the knight i am covet 19. oh yeah that's right kick his ass no it's it's our fault tagging and blood tests for bison just to give you an idea of how big they are this male weighs around 3 000 pounds holy crap how big is the bison then me after nutting a thousand times in one day and unlocking a new color of nut i donate blood this way yeah a lot of people do unfortunately it's just horridly inefficient brazil has nearly 60 000 murders here's a map to put that number into perspective brazil has had as many homicides as all of the blue countries combined interactive version you're probably aware that brazil is a dangerous place oh i am but but my evil america this is not an awards show why do so many murderers bury victims in their own backyards not everyone has the trunk space or gas money to drive way out in the middle of nowhere to dump their bodies check your privilege we're all doing the best we can out here people who actually pay for nudes why do you do that helping pay for your sister's college supporting the family business as it were just found out that my school's been recording people through the chromebooks they handed out and i don't mean monitoring search history i mean through the freaking cameras as i have mentioned before my school is freaking whatever that is bust a fat nut in front of the chromebook then sue them for underage prawn that's the way brother one i run over 1 000 kids with my car but it doesn't turn gold those bastards lied to me i unlocked the red splatter camo but i can't get anything else your son tells you that he's not a virgin anymore nobody in your house has gone outside in the last five months the cat starts walking funny oh no what'd you do no her can you turn off the lights me watch this um your clapper isn't work my monkey butler hurries in and turns off the light holy the problem with a clapper in the bedroom is it picks up the clapping of other body parts too yeah like my cheeks when i'm twerking a man spent 12 years in a coma says he heard everything including his mother saying i hope you die i hear that without being in a coma same get it why iron man and why not female this joke is not for everyone who are you who are so wise in the ways of science it's because iron man is a superhero well iron woman is a command oh there it is there we go god dang it american news right now me a luxembourger reading my country's national news that a cow blocked a village street is the cow all right it was delicious black woman calls you sugar old white man calls you son southern woman calls you honey british woman calls you love kebab man calls you boss your are calls you daddy ooh oh no did you see the video where an f1 car crashed and the wheel flew off and hit someone in the face even he wasn't rolling around screaming i mean he was dead but still what's the most illegal thing you could do with one dollar put a hundred pennies in a sock and beat someone to death with it i wish they still advertised games like this i have to assume his ding-dong isn't actually attached to his body just kind of floats there or maybe he just pulls it out of his pocket got a couple of balls in there and you got yourself a grand old game a pocket pool seriously the nerve of some people how many ding dong picks have you actually gotten about 10 11 now more like 11.5 now so killing one person gives you 20 years in prison but 12 million gives you 10 quantity discount yeah that guy was buying in bulk what the hell is wrong with everyone oh he looks intimidating i killed dogs for experience in minecraft dude what the frick i kill dogs for xp also what's minecraft dolphins love pregnant women because they communicate by ultrasound besides mom's heartbeat they can also hear babies heartbeat and they find it fascinating rare photo of a happy couple r suddenly bestiality ah there's a sub for everything here dominates eagle white dominates sexy black eagle join the drone gang look at me sex is temporary fbi drones are eternal instruction's unclear ding-dong stuck inside of the fbi drone the beat dropped so hard my grandma thought the germans were back alright that one's a little stupid savage android what are you doing step android that port's not compatible researchers have recently discovered the earth isn't flat or round it's can confirm stuck my ding dong in it y'all be dating men who ask the waiter for water with lemon then be surprised that he gay i'm not saying drinking water with lemon necessarily makes him gay i'm just saying that's a womanly thing to ask for real men drink toilet water through their like an elephant me it's medicinal officer well first of all that's a belt-fed machine gun it's my emotional support gun oh god don't give them any goddamn ideas ah i don't need these to be real using this emoji after a normal sentence is the funniest crap ever going to play with my kids i'm home alone with my cat had to bury my wife again wait again you couldn't do the job the freaking first time god you suck what's your weirdest sexual fantasy oh how long did you wait for this post probably far far too long feminists feminists who say kill all men and all men are rapists you're not affiliated with me kill all men and women is equality equal rights equal fights these hens are rated e for everyone saw a vid and the guy literally put a flower on the girl's hair while she was sucking on his ding-dong romance isn't dead i did that once but got tackled by her father and brothers apparently i was supposed to put the flower on the coffin or something please don't touch the dog sir get your own food john is oh ooh foreskin night ow how in the world did you find a way to make that weirder thanks for advertising fortnight to me i was struggling to find a reason to live and now i'm happy to say that i'm no longer struggling i've decided that there is no reason to live see you on the flip side yeah we're all gonna meet up in hell huh godzilla looking down on racism cause that crap's whack is this porn no it's godzilla looking down at racism because that crap is whack grandmas should live forever nobody my grandma don't tell anybody i gave you this damn your grandma's a drug dealer too huh look grandma's working off a fixed income she got to make some side money somehow imagine being stuck in a room surrounded by everyone you've ever had sex with so you mean go to a graveyard disto ooh man newborn kangaroos measure only about two centimeters in length the forbidden gummy bear yeah strawberry flavored and a little crunchy tony looks on in terror as thanos unzips his pants revealing two more infinity stones thanos afterwards you should have gone for the head oh come on god girls i only date guys that are six feet has a six-pack has to be super hot and has to spend 62 hours a day with me boys what are your requirements for a girlfriend female optional a holes a hole unzips pants the horny police go to horny jail bunk dropping the soap in horny jail uh-oh oopsies horse with severe scoliosis who let your mom go horseback riding all jokes aside god i hope that poor thing's not in pain my custom abortion hoops came in and i am screaming i can't have children of my own and this makes me sick maybe you can get custom hoops that say infertile or something i don't know yeah who the hell gets abortion earrings yikes oh no he's gonna kill grunkle stan someone who doesn't watch gravity falls explain this picture time to collect that inheritance yeah that's about right honestly the invisible man is having a good time all right then guys i'm starting to fall apart he did it thanks to internet popularity the kid from the success kid meme made enough money to fund his dad's kidney transplant oh so this kid's a hero because of this but when i bring a bucket of 27 kidneys into a hospital they say something like mass murder and under arrest 13 truck drivers park side by side under a bridge to stop a man from committing suicide weebs impossible they just want to steal the kill oh no just imagine falling down rolling off the front of one of those trucks and then they all floor it oh no stepladder what are you doing i'm putting you in the goddamn washing machine you filthy it is incest with extra steps oh i get it stupid the oldest woman on earth is a woman who is 140 years old and she lives in uzbekistan and her name is tutti yusupova i hope i pronounced that even remotely correctly that'll be a fine leather chair soon also is there any verification on this woman's age at all 140 this is the banana of luck don't ignore it and you'll get good news tomorrow i actually liked this post and got paid 350 the next day for taking a survey god is good i actually liked this post and got paid fifteen dollars a man for jerking off punks under the queensboro bridge god is good you mama gelastamia what are the mario bros views on cannibalism mario says luigi says italian is my favorite it's a meat mario take my upvote and get the hell out of here i don't care where this bus is going but i want on the meat factory oh okay actual fact leafy made four million dollars with a sixty dollar microphone you know who else became a millionaire with a cheap mic adolf hitler i don't think he used cheap microphones family tree made of gummy bears explaining genetics through gummy bears mom always said i had my grandfather's right leg my mom always said i had my grandfather's middle leg was that a good or a bad thing man cost of the human heart one million dollars me realizing i got a free heart when i was born how to earn one million dollars in nine months with five simple steps oh please please for the love of all that is holy enlighten us on these five steps my son wouldn't go to sleep on time so i deleted his minecraft it was you you deleted his minecraft world now i delete yours starts lobotomy your ass is huge i'm your mom oh [Laughter] what aliens do on earth what humans do on mars we don't know what their dicks look like that's a very good point eating the brown part of the banana eating ass eating the brown part of the ass why'd you have to do that why'd you have to ruin everything my lips forgot what a kiss feels like my arms forgot what a hug felt like my heart forgot what love feels like my ding-dong forgot what a can of baked beans feels like really those are readily avail i can go get a can of baked beans right now how'd you forget as of january 1st 2019 the state of hawaii legalized assisted suicide with the legalization doctors can now prescribe death as a medical procedure we have a wide selection of video options you can even use your online streaming services some would say that you have the option to netflix and kill no but seriously it is very expensive my wife asked me why i spoke so softly in the house i said i was afraid mark zuckerberg was listening she laughed i laughed alexa laughed siri laughed google silently took notes roses are red i put jam on my crackers if you nut in space it pushes you backwards a bowl of peanut oil catches seven mice in one night you can also catch the usa if you use the right oil damn straight you can trust no one except tails you can always trust tails tails is the best friend in the world foxes pee on hedgehogs to make them unroll and then eat them think again what the hell i never wanted to know that i never miss peg day if and you want to join me crew you'll need to bulk up very impressive lad and i see you didn't skip peg day my wife never skips peg day either boys are hot girls are hot everyone is hot my pizza's hot i wish to the pizza oh please don't do that you don't want burns there give yourself some credit nestle serial killer grandpa joe flat earther neo-nazi anti-massacre karen rapist you why is rapist there twice oh crap you see blood in your underwear panic you're probably on your period calm you're a guy panic you nut 500 times and unlock the red skin who are you you haha do you play fortnite you noob oh god you've made a very very critical error my good man i mean technically if you slap dwayne johnson's ass you're hitting rock bottom what the hell lol so when he gets an erection does it mean he's rock hard i guess i don't know completely harmless games that are better with friends pokemon go basketball minecraft russian roulette five out of six people say it's safe first day of primary school last day of high school didn't realize harry transferred to an american school yeah me neither man 18-inch giant shrimp-like creature pulled from florida waters call me shrimp dick now i really really need to see that photo i think it's time i admit it i wasn't the one who played on my account in the technoblade duel i'm incredibly sorry it was actually my little sister that explains it i've never once failed to crush a small child's hopes before she cried i hope you're happy tell her to get good you wake up in the year 3020 after being cryogenically preserved what's the first thing you do boot up a porn simulation and let rip 1000 years of built up sperm that jizz will fly so hard it'll pressure wash the logo off the nasa shuttle all right i'm gonna let you have that one that's pretty good the lesbian girl pretending to be straight at the girl's sleepover the straight boy pretending to be gay at the girl's sleepover me helicoptering my dick at both it is the only way no one spain to their colonies it's simple spanish or vanish it's like the german said to poland germinate or exterminate [Applause] oh no no no no oof size large 16 year old girl gets pregnant baby eliminated literally a spawn kill yeah that one's been done before peter parker selling spider-man pictures was basically his version of only fans why would you say something so controversial yet so brave except people don't fap to it speak for yourself wait a minute spongebob patrick squiddy plankton mr crab it's beautiful i've looked at this for five hours now i thought they had tits and that somehow i missed my entire childhood you did you don't remember that would you boy get stuck in a bush and pretends everything's okay what are you doing stepdoge lose a leg or two and gain a couple inches still not over the fact that when i got my prosthetic legs they were like do you want to be taller i was like yeah and they made me two inches taller you wish you were me time to cut off my ding-dong ooh i don't think that they do prosthetics for that very often oh hey never mind bad dragon has a whole section for that don't they oh not again didn't we just see this image recently third one made me not gonna lie ah why kids can sense evil people oh no hitler smiling looks like thomas the tank engine he commanded forces of tank engines too thomas the panzer engine why that's all i want to know why why the hell did i make this since people are just upvoting random crap now here's my seven-year-old toaster i like that toaster that's a nice toaster how the heck does this thing toast seven-year-olds very very carefully microsoft flight simulator 2020 has the entire world in it and it still takes less space than modern warfare not true hey have you seen that tower over there yeah run into it wow how clever and all right all right i know the call of duty is 200 gigabytes the local download for flight simulator is 127 but if you want to download flight simulator completely you better have a cool two petabytes i love trains three-year-old me seeing a train for the first time sixteen-year-old me seeing a train for the 12 749th time i love trains my biggest dream is to jump under one that took an unexpectedly dark turn not that unexpected where we are a shower is like a mini controllable storm and if you throw a toaster in it you get lightning oh how fun everyone they about to go raid troy pretty sure her name is rebecca how do you know that what's the definition of trust two cannibals giving each other that's the most beautiful thing i've ever read is it is it the most beautiful thing you've ever read really most experiments on animals aren't relevant to human health and don't contribute to medical advances many are undertaken simply out of curiosity yeah we should test on vegans instead i agree also peta go yourself they kill animals my son and his best friend both told their survival rate would be around two percent never walk and live in a vegetative state if they made it past seven years both walked the stage and graduated tonight left pick is from the first day of school and the right is from graduation this evening uh not to be that guy but they didn't walk the stage she said i haven't been carried like this since my wedding day or been this wet since a girl in ancient greece exists zeus is for me zeus is like the epstein of greek mythology yeah zeus was pretty gross what does your school use zoom microsoft teams google or other the pornhub live chat [Laughter] oh god that is a knee slapper mario does this still count as fan art are you kidding me absolutely that counts utterly fantastic bravo everyone put a plus in the comments section below please and give a round of applause oh thank god we've come to the end of another video ladies and gents always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed this one consider dropping a like down below and if you really liked it well then make sure to get yourself subscribed and ring the bell icon and until next time we'll catch you later [Music] you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,630,958

Rating: 4.9480629 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, cursedcomments, cursed comments, reddit cursed, reddit memes, reddit funny, cursed memes

Id: _SsYBcPaBBU

Length: 20min 22sec (1222 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 07 2020