r/Cursedcomments | not the safest car

you're at work and a customer does this what do you do activate the guillotine thank you come again [Music] what's up sexy i'm lexi and welcome back to mk and our subreddit today is oh oh no it's finally happened i've been assigned r curse comments health experts please wear protective suits in space americans i'm going shirtless walks naked into chernobyl you're going to come out with a uh a third or a fourth leg question mark an afghan man offers tea to soldiers little does he know that's just warm piss i think we just pissed off all the tea drinkers and made all the coffee drinkers very happy my queen killing you dusty ass females check out her naughty profile on madforhoes.com oh she killing them all right by luring them into the sewers with red balloons and paper boats bruh if i drew an h on her forehead kobe would still be here wow didn't expect to see roast me in here doc your wife is pregnant guy that's impossible i was wearing a condom doc but i wasn't they probably had an entanglement guy oh by the way did my hiv results come in yet doc what forget fake ids teens are dressing up as mask wearing grandmas to score alcohol i'm going to dress like a horse so i can get ketamine every kiss begins with ketamine girls with their 1 000 face wash guys with the bar of soap they wash their balls with i don't think that's quite how it works but christian 145 says the secret is in the balls if i'm wearing a bikini where do i put my pokeballs teehee women's secret let me out it's dark in here it is not a women's secret a man who is brave enough can also use this technique smashing people's androids then giving them iphones good logic let me kill your children then i'll make your wife pregnant curse comment aside if you take my phone and smash it your forearms are coming with it too daddy why do you play video games because slaughtering people in real life has so many complications i don't have complications just do it in your basement what the frack street fights anyone can learn this i once saw two guys beating up an old lady and using my experience i thought that i should jump in using my experience from the video the old lady had no chance against the three of us just watch my cow tell her she's cute oh she is kind of cute good hygiene is important when preparing your meal no but also stay i think this subreddit is corrupting me the ambidextrous kid coming back to school after quarantine only i was off i jacked desperate i was virgin my cat is no more things you should not do when sick any level of yoda impression i'm so lazy you're not lazy you masturbate several times a day could a lazy person do that laughs while masturbating pillows shaped like weapons for a real pillow fight yeah i'd invest in that too i assume the one on the right is a lightsaber nah that's a smurf penis oh no not this guy again this man would slap his own butt during sex yeah he would i wish i was a cow eating grass in a field no rent no job no college just moo same could become a dairy cow and have your nipples pulled daily oh it's pita eating chicken can make your kids dick small danny devito [ __ ] my parents ate a shitload and i have a magnum dog danny devito isn't fat he just hides his magnum dong underneath his shirt wraps it around his waist like a belt right this is this is not imagery i needed this is no dang i really want to frack this girl bro leave it to me bro come on my face and i'll go and blimp into her and that kids is how i met your mother nature is freaking weird climacophilia noun being sexually aroused by falling down stairs well that just sounds like arousal with extra steps oh no i tripped my tongue identifying where the food is stuck my finger trying to remove it that's why i use a gun that sounds dangerously effective when did johnny bravo become a cop hey there baby guess you've noticed i'm a cop huh how about i take your breath away god oh okay all right that that was the new worst one that was the newest one goodbye world my man is about to ascend above every human on planet earth yeah do it i don't actually think this would do much i think your body would just be like oh that's that's a lot of vitamins we're just gonna throw that right back out but either way please don't do this ever i have to pick one you guys oh cute little puppies the one on the left looks so happy i got both everyone liked that including lexi damn he was hungry nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope i work with the same doctor that delivered me 21 years ago that's the only other person that can say they brought you into this world and they can take you out little bit of technically the truth i like it girls in the 1700s when a guy gets her front row tickets to the public execution oh yay the splash zone huh another day of my dad forgetting our amazon accounts are linked amazon alexa here's your reminder have sex with my wife update after telling my mom my dad called to apologize but then in the background my mom made sex noises as a joke and i almost threw up not gonna lie the mom sounds hilarious in this what in the is his hair on fire zuckerbot is overheating someone check his cooling systems she said yes boys despite everything going on in the world 2020 has been the best year of my life beautiful ring congratulations to you both please send a photo of her anus uh excuse me god freaking damn that's a headline french firefighters set themselves a light and start fighting against police amber restored france how to trigger italians in japanese at the same time oh god not this thing again we already saw this just don't add the germans or we'll have a problem he made it to fifth period before getting in trouble well done mad lad then someone says i want to ride you you're locked in a room with both of us what do you do cook the skinny one and eat her first she should give us enough food for a couple of days possibly up to three weeks if we ration well enough once i run out i'm going for the big one she'll give me enough protein energy and vitamins to be healthy and strong well seems like a solid plan to me your ex called you and said i still love you your last saved meme is your reaction not gonna lie if my ex called and said that i'd be very afraid cause she died last year but lord knows i'd smash a nigerian surgeon doctor something something cut a woman's baby out of her womb at 23 weeks and removed a large tumor growing on her tailbone after which he returned the fetus back into the woman's womb which was later delivered naturally that's really freaking impressive when you go to get a snack out of the fridge take a bite and then put it back you can't see it but i'm face palming for humanity airbenders had the potential to be the most lethal benders of all seeing as how they could have theoretically killed anyone by making a vacuum around them and yanking the air out of their lungs insta kill more like slowly suffocating while begging for your life but no one can hear you because there's a vacuum around you but i bet airbenders give killer blowies can i try this sure can i try this sure can i try this oh that's really cute rips off face with fork and shoves it into her mouth hmm scrumptious you had to ruin it didn't you papa squat 420. you had to ruin it you came to the wrong refrigerator [ __ ] is that coca-cola coo what the frick oh my god what the hell is wrong with you people i'm so lonely guys wait it's just me always has been the soul sand in my minecraft texture pack ah nice job looks just like the soul sand in my basement that's not human remains that's just uh um soul sand i'm sure he broke up with me because i'm ugly oh no don't say that you're beautiful it's because you fracked his best friend you know what they say dog is man's best friend girls be horny at the worst time i'm at the drive-thru asking her what you want and this bridge really say you daddy bridge there's four cars behind us that's why i never bring grandma with me when i go to order food boops asses me an intellectual the soul yes souls are truly delicious while i also like to rip flesh apart and consume it eating the soul is a totally different thing i prefer my souls on toast with extra butter i'm pregnant having a scan soon to find out if it's a girl or an abortion oh my god hashtag kill all men i don't have the stomach to read all these negative comments here's your update some people have convinced me to look into raising my children as a girl even if it's a boy and trying to get treatment as early as seven years old i've been reading a lot about that brah i don't usually condone beating your wife but this is this is genuinely freaking terrifying like seriously you should not have the right to reproduce or think or eat or live you know what no i think your soul would be great on toast and we can give your flesh to that other guy i have other words for this but they're not demonetization safe so let's just move right on what is this like the first gravity toilet or something just don't fall in aha forbidden weather slide rate my build bro there's food in your computer no you may not eat the hard drive kitten that's where all the important stuff is stored blurst baby yoda what's wrong with it that looks perfectly oh oh oh thank god it's not november um excuse me yeah i didn't need the realization that rule 34 probably applies to be to yoda too and i hate that your future sex robot could be hacked and programmed to murder you how is that any different from your wife the show when i'm watching alone the show when my mom walks in i swear every single time this used to happen it's not what it looks like bro katara could legit use blood bending to make someone continuously come what am i even reading anymore how many calories are in uranium 20 billion a gram of uranium is roughly 20 billion calories are you challenging me so you're telling me that uranium could end world hunger let's go and feed these poor kids some uranium i think the us tried to do that in japan oh no no i that's too far i'm not making that joke no first time seeing a white enderman michael jackson tick tock bell delphine and simps jake paul fortnite karen's pedophiles being hated by the entirety of reddit good thing i'm only accused of vehicular manslaughter in pakistan close call oh god oh god i'm done no no more of this and that thankfully brings us to the end of another r curse comments if you enjoyed anything you saw today i'm genuinely concerned for you if you were shocked by anything you saw today go ahead and hit that like button if for some reason you want to see more of this smack the crap out of that red subscribe button my name is the lexi kitty but you all can call me lexi i'm off to take a very long shower but i still hope you guys have an absolutely victorious day tomorrow stay safe stay awesome make more stuff and i will see you guys in the next video

Channel: EmKay

Views: 681,965

Rating: 4.9391747 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/cursedcomments, cursed comments, cursed comments reddit, ezpz, ez pz, best reddit posts

Id: 8IttMHo9dHE

Length: 11min 41sec (701 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 24 2020