r/Cursedcomments | ???

you know i've never done a chia pet but i tried really hard you know what he'd be proud of you good work that's actually what bob looks like now with all the worms eating his face why do you gotta ruin everything reddit hey everyone welcome back to easy peasy i'm cougar your weirdo with two different colored eyes of a narrator and today we're gonna be diving into cursed comments aunt be like what are you doing step vault i don't think a hand's supposed to go there man finding out your teacher is a weeb she says being a kindergarten teacher is the best yes it is i didn't find any hair on your shirt so who's that bald snitch guess shaving the dog really didn't do much i guess not pal rip feminist sobs after sexist barber refuses to cut her hair because she's a woman it's a barber shop as a rule it's meant for men and also i went to my wife's gynecologist to have him checked by the jj he was like you don't have one i was like can you just stick your finger in my butthole i was asked to leave i'm literally shaking right now my world is ending where are the man assists i don't know what a male feminist is called if my boyfriend was a worm i'd cut him in half so i could have two boyfriends why do you need him to be a worm to do that just cut him in half see what happens nothing can go bad i don't have radioactive forest fires at chernobyl or my bingo card but you know what this is about par for the course for 2020. get a puppy they said you won't be so alone during quarantine they said they were right he is looking straight at your junk um that's not a chew toy um you will address me by my husband's rank okay corpse crunchification isn't that what they did to jesus crunchify him crunch if i am the people cried eh at least the oscars will only be 30 minutes long next year or four hours with the deaths a bit when did the bully at your school do something kind that was completely unexpected died of bone cancer oh 2019 cute 2014 classic nice 2012 eats human skin i mean look at its face it's just like hey little boy come down to my basement for apothecal 2011 this might be a harmful black magic seagull eh 2012 is still worse a lot worse okay so here's the real theory if olaf is made of snow stones twigs and a carrot where did the eyeballs come from there else is xx oh no you can summon any animal or person in the world but they come out of your anus bees definitely bees like imagine you're getting mugged and you just pull down your pants and start crapping bees at them imagine getting mugged and you just pull down your pants and start crapping both are equally effective by far the black dogs taste the best unlike the marshmallow why did black ones take the best i'm so confused i think this also works for corpses i'm going to test your theory brb edit yup boiled corpse i picked up from the bottom of the river tastes really really good my favorite boiled corpse alabama husband save wise life by donating kidney after spending a year dieting and exercising to get his blood pressure low enough for surgery this is when you realize it says alabama husband and it starts to make much more sense why they have the same blood type oh i see what you did there incesty this albino squirrel comes to our door and rubs its nipples and just stares at us my neighbor does the same thing yeah i'm your neighbor kiddo would you rather listen to cardi b crap broken glass until you die i cried broken glass for pleasure broken glass my favorite it's not always love when you feel a butterfly in your stomach how beautifully poetic hold on change i'll take your firstborn as payment hey quick question how do i change someone else's username edit i wtf lol why would you want to do that gaping why suddenly you'd start hearing clapping and it won't be a round of applause boy it's gotta suck to be a like a cleaner at this theater the floor is always so sticky for some reason sometimes you just need to go for a ride to clear your head mind blowing are you a bullet cause i can't get you out of my mind why this is not okay reddit how many people have you slept with point five you cut her in half no i found her like that it was a pretty good time what if you had to have sex every day during pregnancy to keep building the baby with the same man this is a great question perhaps if you mix it up you can combine jeans like a build-a-bear mom why do i have dog ears oh god i wish i was her dog you know this is why the kid had dog ears in the last panel all three in one shampoo can be four in one if you're not afraid to use it as mouthwash it can also be five in one if you're not afraid to use it as lube it could sting just a little bit alcohol because no great story ever started with a glass of milk turns out it was just a shot of coat oh man i used to like that song like oh my god got suspended twice in school suspension five times always skipped classes had a 2.4 gpa and did nothing but [ __ ] around you can do it kids you know what too bad we can't all sleep with our teachers you did it didn't you look at the look on your face you slept with your teacher dude my mom said my eyes are gonna fall out for looking at my phone too much who wants to rock my eye sockets i know a guy i am the guy [Music] nice sockets i'll take the left you take the right oh god okay that's enough if you jump off a bridge and you yell parkour it isn't suicide it's just a failed stunt don't ever text me again they are right though fear has two meanings forget everything and run or face everything and rise the choice is yours [ __ ] everything every available rectum i like the option three option three i'm going with quarantine has given me a newfound respect for old sailors who were stuck on ships for so long they invented half women half fish to be horny about they definitely screwed fish first and then came up with a story later ah the fish nature's flesh light i've invented a half pillow half woman please get me out of quarantine hmm how flat could a cat be saw a really flat one yesterday on the highway was about one centimeter the guy from flextape commercial wants to see me phil swift wants to seal your cracks if you catch my drift that's a lot of damage if sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome i guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome they should call you recycle i like to call this one tiresome you bucked a tree fun fact some snipers will intentionally look off target because they believe people can feel being watched false i've been watching you sleep for a week now and i'm becoming concerned with just how unaware you really are what do you do with gecko sheddings put them in the oven and they crisp up like chips need salt though you know what you're just gross you're just disgusting no stop germaphobes have read it what did germans ever do to you worst camp experience ever why do animated characters wear gloves well i mean they can't leave fingerprints at the murders they commit that's just obvious dude dudes be trying to bend you all crazy during sex like calm down before i fart hello granddaughter fluff you oh no graham graham many cats live into their 20s my grandma's cat lived to 24 and was perfectly healthy till my mom hit her with the car by accident i know i shouldn't laugh but that last part came out of nowhere just like the car little kitty kitty didn't see him coming a california couple used a lawnmower and a gps to create a giant grass mural of kobe he would need a helicopter no we're going to die in a gulag but man it will be worth it yes it will come red yes it will no no you've ruined gummy bears for me forever this also kind of looks like what i imagine uh knuckles the akina to look like in the sonic movie before the redesign horrifying this is hannah blood a german youtuber who always dresses accordingly to the games he plays this time he played wot so he dressed as a tank i just thought people need to see this he might want to stay away from wolfenstein oh no don't call me handsome if you ain't gonna hand some of that kitty over me when my grandma calls me handsome you know you're a goner when these eyes appear i thought the bottom weapon was a centered hentai cream i thought it was two and then i realized the guy's name is harold brian sand i'm such an idiot hot dog shaped his fears rebranded to just the tips and you have my investment sir all women are queens if she breathes she's a thot whew looks like the one in my basement isn't a thought i was worried for a second after an orgasm i like to kiss and cuddle and fall asleep in each other's arms smiley face what about you eh i usually delete my brows in history and throw the tissues away what do you do after an orgasm unmute mike i'm back boys yeah they should spice it up say he got injured because of a broken duck well balls deep in a squealing hog ah yes that's the sports movie i want to see when your son is going through a phase adopted so that means stepmom can have some fun oh it's about to turn into a messed up video isn't it oh my god this is totally true my girlfriend was pregnant and the 5g radiation turned my baby's skin black we're both white it's the towers man the towers kid rock surprises fan with down syndrome for his 30th birthday down syndrome is a terrible gift to give someone for their birthday you know reddit why do you gotta ruin everything nice this is why we can't have nice things it's a super special kinder egg i bet that's a nice chalky tasting one did king kong really think he was gonna date that lady nah he was gonna use her as a condom for when he found the queen kong kitty if you know what i mean unfortunate kiwi bird imagine they trip and fall and the egg gets cracked inside their bodies and the runny egg yolk flows out sir it costs you nothing to not say that if you laugh at other people's conditions you'll be like them in the future bill gates lmao bill gates is a billiard elmer kobe bryant low oh no oh no this is not okay anymore i just realized that never is a contradiction of not ever blush is blood rush studying is student dying you're god goddamn right manslaughter man's laughter you're all so goddamn right why are there so many people in your microwave yeah you got to mix them up and separate them so they don't get all soggy people in their 30s discussing tick tock hey i'm 54 and i love the tic tacs but only the minty ones the orange can suck it europe is ready to get picked by mother russia you know what would not be the first time plus spider-man mr stark i feel so good dying was worth it man miss frizzle took the kids to chicago damn it arnold i told you not to yell the n-word when we drove down grove street how many dogs have you killed one but that was an accident the dog fell down the stairs and landed in a bathtub full of water and toasters all the way down the stairs it hit the wall and my gun fell off the shelf and shot it seven times could have happened to anyone yeah if anyone was a psycho reason to dated nation tight kitty might be tight but it's gonna be all blurry anyway someone's into those japanese adult websites gf is sleeping and a breasts are exposed young me would have lost his mind but old me is going to stand over her while eating baguette so i can pretend i'm a corner mid-autopsy in a terrible cop show the 15 stabs on her stomach make it even more realistic that's not where i thought this was going at peta if you respond i'm buying 100 cows and i'm going to boil them alive donate thanks for your support complete your donation now and we'll help you boil the cows all day long because we're peta a terrible organization cookie monster steals the last cookie from a starving syrian refugee girl after cookie monster has run out of cookies cookie monster will eat her syrian family too yeah that puppet looks dead on the inside just look at its sad eyes [ __ ] jar oh no that poor frog cursed entity oh now that's jimmy he sold his body for an n-word pass you know what sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do people always assume i'm dating my mom when we make out in public it's kind of awkward but i've gotten used to it fisting i honestly thought people only did that in porn had a gf who was super into it depending on how i contorted my hand in her she would oh no i'm nope next next no drugs or nuclear weapons allowed inside the restrooms kind of want to know what incident led them to making the sign a fat man and a little boy walked into a bar no i hope she believes this it took four hours to skin him completely i deserve the seat because i am a woman i gave my seat for an old lady on the bus next day i lost my job as a driver the world is cruel it's just not fair i once won a car by picking a lock it came with a dog and a baby hey man one of those things is good and then you also got a baby so you know just go to the trash can i started disease in china and started in real life let's make a threat of really stupid superpowers i'll start you can fly but only straight up you always know how many spiders are in a 20 foot radius but not where they are you can turn invisible but only while screeching at the top of your lungs you become incredibly good at public speaking whenever you jack off just realize why podiums exist nice turtle and that wait what ah that's just her ponytail from a vajayjay it is that's really gross by the way you ever just moan when you poop eh only when i put it back in so i can poop a second time felt so right i did it twice is your mom still single uh yes go and catch every pokemon out there professor oak is gonna pokey mom and get some ash if you know what i'm talking about something to put in your butt that'll teach my dog to never piss on the carpet no no not the doggo you could cosplay as winnie the pooh with just a red shirt and confidence i tried it last halloween it didn't go well a bunch of guys dressed as cops and beat the crap out of me need more confidence then retired porn stars when the person they marry has a son son mom our washing machine has a very tight door why did you buy it you wouldn't get it it's from a past life a better life star wars rise of the blood pressure but what happens when he has to pee is there a kinky patch yeah there's a kinky patch thanks for ruining this for me by the way porn stars get 18 000 for anal i don't even get a warning parents can be rude sometimes yeah i know that feeling scream powered microwave i just put a human inside in the microwave will never stop i mean that is true the idea of ghosts that moan may have been started by children that hurt their parents having sex in an adjacent room and denied having heard it not just heard but also seeing them under the bed sheet this makes so much sense now so why did scrooge see ghosts with chains oh oh no i've said it before and i'll say it again i really want to pound their neck gap because i'm a freak just wait until he raises his arm and the mesh top shears off his nipple thanks i hate this spider with hands he's coming to grab your peepee just for a little tickle with the pickle if you know what i mean over here imagine a squirrel making a nest out your window and being able to watch them sleep and grow or waiting till they're ripe i can't believe they really painted over this smfh stay at home kobe should have listened to that i mean fair what are you doing step bro oh no imagine 10 year olds look up in the sky to see airplanes but instead see my harem bdsm unscented hentai sounds like darren for a good traumatizing time finally see it wasn't necrophilia i told you mom lesbian of the pool what is your wisdom world hard and cold titty soft and warm titty can be hot and cold too if she's dead you're not wrong there buddy sure death is scary but remember the toy story 3 monkey amateurs the baby head suspended on metal spider legs on the first one was the real crap i still meet him in my nightmares you i fat to that crap man it's a great time my mom began watching videos about 5g towers causing the cough cough sniffle sniffle and she actually believes it how do i uninstall facebook without noticing it lol uninstall her this is indeed the big brain move her body is faker than most of the crap people use me for um excuse me please watch your language my son comes on here and he also comes on here wife says i'm small secretary says i'm okay girlfriend thinks i'm average and the mother-in-law says i'm massive so truck who knows who to believe maybe i should ask my sister again oh my goodness you guys i got accepted into art and design school in new york i'm going to the big apple well you know what world war iii prevented thank you so much for sharing hey uh don't take this the wrong way but you look very german how can that be taken the wrong way if she was polish i don't know what to say to this one just move on move on well thanks so much for watching feel free to subscribe to easy peasy and check out the other videos on the channel they're way funnier and a lot better because i'm not in them anyways have a great day like comment subscribe and be safe out there everyone you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 678,256

Rating: 4.9131637 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/cursedcomments, cursed comments, cursed comments reddit, ezpz, ez pz, best reddit posts

Id: 7QgoXrsfAjo

Length: 17min 8sec (1028 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 26 2020