r/Cursedcomments| oh no please

if you could see a list of every person's name and face including strangers that thought about you sexually at least once would you want to see it and why yeah my self-esteem is pretty low so it may be nice to see if someone perceived me that way unless that list is totally blank i'd totally jack off to you bro edit i did it bro yelled cliff347 just as i came the internet bringing people together to jack up about them now let us not dilly dally anymore longer my name is jack you all know that and it is time for some cursed comments a visit to the gynecologist spring 2020. huh my girlfriend must be at the gynecologist almost every night from 10 p.m to midnight if you're a junior your mom has probably moaned your name during sex oh freak yeah and i thought today was going to be a no-fap day thanks op i needed this one coconut oil is designed for cooking but makes fantastic lube what sex products are great for non-sex purposes condoms are pretty effective water balloons too bad each one takes me a week to fill this comment man accused of ejaculating in his boss's coffee every day for four years i am so glad i make my own coffee sir your frappuccino what was that cappuccino no that's a shame huh hires him back after tasting regular coffee oh god look considering you can buy beer that's made from the yeast of uh women's genitalia i wouldn't be surprised if something like this comes across one day blurst sleeping beauty [Music] she's gonna love this when she wakes up uh he could have just put the real one there no i like his rooster i like her cat all fun and games until the guy from china wears his shirt hmm if you give this to your flowers why do you give this to your children because children don't die that easily trust me i've tried hey hey buddy that's not something you're meant to admit since we can't go to any bars tell me what your pets are currently doing but refer to them as the drunk guy at the end of the bar the drunk guy at the end of the bar is licking his sister's butthole oh my god internet omg i can't believe billy eilish let a spider into her mouth who would do such a thing mary jane reminding you all again spider-man homecoming this is a really recycled joke i carved a pillow out of wood that is damn amazingly well done but why i'm bringing this to my next pillow fight oh that's why me go spear fishing for the first time everybody else at the kiddie pool you gotta be quick then little frickers are fast happy father's day hope you're celebrating up there dad i'm sorry for your loss i'm sure he's proud of you lol you're under six foot freak off so is your dad holy smack you killed her dude and now she can see your dad again hi stevie watching stars i will watch the stars with you damn she's sick maybe the sound of an enderman teleporting is their ass clapping oh no oh what if it's not them clapping it's them farting that's why he's closing his eyes because the smell is so putrid he can feel them marines battle children with toys it's all fun and games so one of the marines has a ptsd attack and pulls out a concealed pistol nothing wrong with a bit of friendly population control oh god not this thing again oh no no if she breaks her leg which head do you shoot jesus christ oh no yo and minecraft at main dragging support you might want to check this bug out they started doing that after they broke their crossbows oh wow working as intended well to be fair they are bad guys so i guess it's not too bad wholesome 100 moment thomas never understood why he didn't take return passengers leave him alone thomas was only following orders when comedy becomes offensive and disrespectful it's all fun and games until you get creampied in public that is that is not a relatable thing is it am i missing out on the latest tick tock trend or something this is and i am not joking an 1882 us patent for a mousetrap and it's the most american thing i've ever seen tom and jerry reloaded i mean hey if it ain't broke don't fix it it's soft and comfortable too oh but please help us make war crimes in the middle east for america's one percent why can i hire a hitman on the deep web to kill me and not tell him that he is killing me but then kill him when he tries to kill me if so can i claim self-defense and say he was trying to kill me but not mention that i hired him there's a simple reason behind this it's to grind experience points in plain sight superhero team it's okay they'll never find us in our secret headquarters in their headquarters do you think he has a massive skyscraper pp hiding behind that building it's designed like a mech suit of course it wouldn't have a large dong on it i mean come on girl rejects me me becomes gay and steals her boyfriend me parry this you filthy casual girl whips that dick so you like dicks eh oh god this post has so many plot twists i need to complete mario kart 150 cc dad is it okay if i bring my ds to mom's funeral in case i get bored when you try and hide it from the rest of your family but they hear mario saying bye-bye haha t-34 85 soviet medium tank go brr girlfriend might cheat on you can't protect you might not like your friends t-3485 tank always loyal protects you with its 85 millimeter cannon and 47 millimeter armor has enough room for all of your friends my girlfriend can fit all my friends too [Music] no i just wish someone would kiss me the way biden makes out with his 19 year old granddaughter oh no okay i would not have believed this at first i would have assumed oh maybe it was just bad angle and all that stuff but no no no ah this is so weird to look at what is with these old people in america and the ones that are running for presidency come on this put an itch on the roof of my mouth that only a shotgun could scratch a homeless guy came up to me while i was shooting my brother and asked for a couple of photos here's how they came out god was so deep in the cursed comments hole that i literally thought shooting was referring to a gun and not with a bloody camera oh weird that he was so nonchalant about you murdering your brother in the street yeah well yeah i'm not surprised someone took it that way why do you have so many youtubes of yourself la mao put her in the jar mom who hunts and kills animals with baby on her back says she won't stop okay but like that is kind of really super badass and one sleep-deprived day she will reach behind her to grab another arrow from the quiver but instead she will grab the baby being so tired she doesn't even notice until the kid is flying through the air at her next target have black triplets and his wife says it's because he eats too much chocolate wait a minute would that mean they taste like chocolate only one way to find out you must be distorted to ride this ride the ride wow that is not a good design oh my god it's the holocaust oh no it's bad that is real bad teachers write an essay on how curved 19 has impacted your life introverts extroverts not really impacting my life except my god damn paris won't leave i fell off the bike today and jesus came to life on my feet well there's his second coming for goodness sake took you a while mate i wish jesus came on my feet well he's here now though then again he's probably gonna need another 2 000 or so years to recharge so you may have to wait a while sorry snake a concerned old lady left this note please be aware that a baby deer is sleeping right under your tire thanks oh how did you drive home though fairly quickly so the venison wouldn't spoil oh my god on his own damn poster these plastic eating caterpillars can help fight plastic pollution plastic eating caterpillars kardashians freaking get out of here man brings a whole new meaning to eating ass does it oh my god yeah yeah okay yeah all right it's to keep the flies out of her mouth because so much poop comes out of it honey tell me what's wrong both concrete and glass are mostly made of sand which makes skyscrapers just really tall sandcastles oh no so they could have just thrown a bucket of water over the towels instead of wasting two perfectly good planes no no it i think the planes worked exactly as intended your username is a premonition of how you will die how screwed are you not a good way to go i'm with you we should make a subreddit for seniors so they feel welcome on the internet change my mind oh someone suggested one ask really really if you had to choose between these options only i would rather live in a world dominated by the chinese the americans the russians the europeans remember to visit germany before germany visits you just because your life sucks doesn't mean you can't make it fun and i still agree with it and then when it bounces off the pegs and into the crowd some nice family gets a free meal i don't think guillotines work like baseball games where if you catch the ball you get to keep it i mean then again what are they going to use their heads for preach white people twitter if i an employee can wear my mask for eight hours you as a customer can wear your mask for 30 minutes oh i thought they were gonna make fun of white people this is just straight fact if furries can freak in their suits you can breathe in your masks this is now my favorite pearl mask argument hi please tell my wife that you can't fix my phone she wants to check my whatsapp messages 50 euro is yours thanks take the 50 euro repair the phone call the wife show her the chat console her bang her call the girlfriend blackmail her about informing the wife bang her if she's not threatened pay her the 50 euros and bang her ladies and gentlemen the ultimate savage seriously you should work as a consultant for villains man watch mother shaves daughter's head after she bullies girl with cancer oh what if she bullied someone that's an amputee complete the sentence wait don't jump it's not that high get to the roof ready to see the trick yeah the new way to circumcise a child just take the whole thing off the old d grabber hey you fantastic being thanks so much for watching that does us for another bit of mk today hope you enjoyed all the cursed commentary if you liked today's video please thumb me until it's turned blue god damn it if you are new to the channel why not subscribe as well click the notification bell so you always see the newest mk content we post on the daily here so if you'd like to see some other videos feel free to check out the channel but with all that said i'm of course going to scoot off now and stop dragging this on so you all have a good day afternoon slash evening morning even as well my name's been jack you are amazing as always and i will see you next time bye bye

Channel: undefined

Views: 342,578

Rating: 4.9630418 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/cursedcomments, cursed comments, cursed comments reddit, ezpz, ez pz, best reddit posts

Id: Muw_uXb4oP0

Length: 11min 36sec (696 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 04 2020