r/Cursedcomments | run as fast as you can.

mall security bot knocks down toddler breaks asimov's first law of robotics well there was one more that lasted folks time for the robot uprising let's kill him did the robot not notice the toddler or was it like problem toddler obstructing path solution assert dominance [Music] welcome jack my name's back and you're watching um okay today we're going to look at the things you wish you could say or do without the ramifications of being judged for saying or thinking of these things i'm not projecting but your idea you're talking about anyway cursed comments enjoy relative dating not the alabama kind well i'm in the wrong class as an alabaman me and my wife or sister find this very offensive you know we make fun of the alabamians for having this trait but to be fair it makes them closer to royalty than the rest of us wanna play a game some of these treats are not like the others some of these treats will melt your heart russian roulette for people with peanut allergies okay but seriously if they made a saw reboot for kids i could totally see this being one of the games and we would all watch that because we like to watch children suffer no is that only me hitler is rejected from the vienna art academy 1908. uh yep still have the coffin yes boys and girls it's true e-girls did trigger world war ii yeah hitler ain't thick though you've clearly never seen his only fans oh yeah only aryan out get out get out now girlfriend zones nice guy and regrets it later and water is a gas german article denies a german artist who regrets it later ah yes it ain't cursed comments without consecutive hitler posts is it when you realize your doctor touches other patients balls too for sensor king seriously who comprehends this kind of stuff on the daily it's people making content like this that makes me wonder if i'm maybe i'm not being weird enough as a person my husband's a doctor i try not to think about how many balls butts and boobs he's seen throughout his career yeah but think about it he chose specifically to see your boobs balls and butt every day and that is really sweet he doesn't know about my balls yet now see that's why you don't wait till marriage just think of all that time you could have been practicing juggling in the bedroom with her i've been alive 20 years and still haven't found the right thing to say when someone knocks on the door of the public bathroom you're in i said come in one time and the person said yeah oh thank god reinforcements have arrived meanwhile it's star wars galaxy's edge oh no oh i can already tell i can already tell what the joke is apparently not their first lightsaber battles [Laughter] oh god oh freak it's growing now what do you think we're talking about here that's right mount everest yes it grows by nearly a meter to a new height oh good more bodies were added yeah how exactly does a mountain grow i mean isn't that just like the snow and doesn't snow melt i am the confused about this proud father dad smiling son i don't mind you borrowing my car but please bring it back clean oh jesus two jumbo jets cracking a joke and having a good laugh remember those idiots who ran into the building yeah good stuff oh it's been 20 years we can joke about it now call your parents do it camp they're dead whip out the waluigi bard i'm not gonna win you're an aries cool i'm an aquarium oh nice i'm a capri-sun i have cancer 13 year old me the effects of smoking 20 year old me ah that's why i do it because life 27 year old me my 13 year old self was smart a story about two world war ii veterans beating up an orphan kid with heart problems after one killed his parents okay yo hold up 5.8 million likes on a comment [Applause] this is and i am not joking an 1882 u.s patent for a mousetrap and it's the most american thing that i've ever seen now see don't don't say that it challenges them can i get one for human size asking for a friend oh they're called cops it's a sad state we live in oh some little kids enjoying some little public warfare there good thing they look like they come from a first world country otherwise this would be problematic oh kid shooting an rpg is considered fine but when i do it the government considers it an act of terrorism oh my gosh the society is aegis i just came out to my parents and they told me they were proud of me and bought me mcdonald's ah death row last meal did you know when two ears are put side by side it forms the shape of a heart interestingly the word ear sits right in the middle of the word heart h ear t the ear is the way to the heart so if you want someone's heart learn to listen to them wow whose ass was this logic pulled out of because it is creative speaking of creative assassin has ass ass and then in in it coincidentally most assassins do have asses in them could this mean that two rectums inside of each other could form an assassin life really is beautiful anal assassination coming soon to the next assassin's creed game fab knew his stuff got the baddest bee on the show because he knew when to shut the frick up ah i thought she was deep downing feb's nose what the frick and now i can't unsee it depression 14 year old girls after listening to a billy eilish song ah i've got it what's with his peepee fingers oh no [Laughter] fun despicable me fact time gru's spacesuit is comprised of the muscle tissue of five male minions you can't die from covert though almost three hundred thousand americans would disagree with you ah they can't because they're dead so technically he's still right you clearly don't know how to debate what was the creepiest thing someone said on the first date mid-date he placed his hand on my stomach and said my son will grow here frick that no no don't frick that a sniper has to account for the curve and rotation of the earth when shooting a bullet over a long distance i kind of want to have a flat arthur and a nasa scientist to have a long-range sniper duel now look i don't condone massacres but frick this pandemic i miss eating out my friends [Laughter] with my friends what have i done what in the actual flippity-doopy-dah i'm 15 and i just found out i'm pregnant is it normal if i belly flop onto the concrete to eliminate the child well if you do it from high enough up you can eliminate two problems with one flop i have good and bad news we'll start with the good news your son will be allowed to park wherever he wants well that's great i'm sorry i don't get it can someone explain kid is disabled why don't they just enable him oh wait is a paid dlc or what covered cases recorded in antarctica for the first time oh boy literally nowhere is safe isolated continent reportedly registers first infections after 36 chileans full ill at research base meanwhile plague inc players at area 51 [Laughter] it's all just been a game to them now it's time to upgrade total organ failure for just 28 dna points morgue employee cremated by mistake while taking a nap how i guess two people got fired that day oh it's cursed comments i shouldn't be feeling so surprised meanwhile in our slash subnautica no spoilers a cuttlefish or something i don't know i don't play subnautica is that username fishfricker69 maybe stay the hell away from me found this work of art as my local five guys burger and fries i love five guys i knew the mayonnaise tasted wrong oh let's get our minds out of the gutter clearly this is just the child artistically interpreting how well filled up they feel after eating at five guys stalin and santa they both like bread they live in a very cold place have a mustache and have a naughty list committed multiple genocides oh oh i haven't done such a thing that's anyone knows off meet jordan foley the x factor usa yeah okay she looks like the kind of girl who acts all sweet then when gets criticism goes home and microwaves her hamster maybe we're all playable characters in a cosmic video game and the fridge is the save point which is why we all sort of open it look inside and then wander off without eating anything who are you who are so wise in the ways of science people on the african server are just playing hardcore mode and people playing in the u.s are currently on elimination mode hey am i right it it's it's a tragedy man spent 12 years in a coma i heard everything including his mother saying i hope you die oh oh that's nice my mom says that every day it's no big deal nose i typed nose with my nose lol heart john you okay oh no john is fine guys it's not his heart he typed it with hope oh no oh no human in 2019 human in 2020 i'm 14 and this is deep why is the monkey hailing hitler superior race japan's first lady made a surprise visit to pearl harbor oh japanese are big on surprise visits to pearl harbor stop stop this breaking news covert vaccine enlarges pp studies show an average length increase by 23 percent and hey look something for the ladies too also breaking news this is not surprising yeah great now karen's got a bigger dong than me first my girlfriend leaves me for my dog now this iconic og milk brandy love talking about parenting as a porn star is every bit as fascinating as it sounds oh she's probably a great mom i've seen how she is with her step kids ah stepmom not today i've got pe okay i won't have the energy our friend came over to babysit last night ten minutes after we left he sent me this pic oh you monster where's the lamb sauce imagine spending seven years in college to become a lawyer and your clan shows up to court like this that's like my school group projects all over again your honor my client deserves the death penalty but this is a parking violation hearing look at him oh how cute this place names the cows that this milk is from notice how they named all the cows traditionally girly names oh there is a deep connection between misogyny and consuming animals yeah i don't know about her but i don't want to eat yogurt from a male cow speak for yourself bro this good source of protein if beauty and the beast teaches us one thing it's that looks don't matter as long as you keep her locked up long enough stockholm syndrome better than match.com i don't want to say he's right but germs are not a real thing fox news house says he hasn't washed hands in 10 years pete exeter denies existence of germs saying i can't see them therefore they're not real his melee attacks inflict a poison damage god damn it ninja ninja did what in europe paris and shock after fire destroys notre dame ah my man finally took down tilted towers the world according to our slash history memes well that's a lot of white yeah those nukes are more powerful than i thought people have read it what was the stupidest thing your horniness made you do i may or may not have freaked a really sexy looking tree successfully and you didn't even buy me dinner first if you have any questions just go push puss and i'll come to you sir can i please give you head pats sure but how did you know my name was pat's a baby crying on an airplane the sound of literally two jet engines i mean come on kids well the baby would be a lot quieter if it were outside the plane by how i read this meme out i'm sure you can understand how much i agree with this yeah well they can't play while they're pooping so joke's on you i poop on the sofa our slash cool guides the difference in vision between predator and prey wow learning today i learned thomas the tank engine is a predator this skeleton of conjoined twins at the mutter museum i probably pronounced that wrong but that honestly looks like something from dead space so i'm not gonna lie preferred pronouns they them oh that's dark population growth is just a formal mathematical way of saying how fast can people freak you're missing an important part of this here population growth is just a formal mathematical way of saying how fast can people freak and also die actually it's more like how much faster are people freaking than they are dying yeah frick to death ratio it was on that day finn learnt the truth about the red dot i am the darts do it sarah pull the trigger i'm done with your stuff sarah do it men are biologically hardwired to fall asleep after dvd my wife falls asleep during the dvd i've never had this problem with her that profile picture just sells it perfectly studies say farmers have more do do do do than any other profession oh yeah i'm getting kitty tonight well it's not like the sheep can say no okay no the inability to say no does not mean consent oh my god i made a roomba that shoot anything it bumps into so they pretty much just made a cop name a game that deserves a theme park like mario's silent hill no no no oh yes yes yes serial killers gamers collecting skins oh i'm sick of this kind of logic look there is no similarity between us and the gamers no wait i mean little girl sings you are my sunshine to her cat as he passes away oh that's too wholesome quick counter it with a cursed comment damn bro i mean like was the singing really that bad which barry did you feed your pokemon go buddy today i fed nothing to my slave creature forgotten but dirty day what a rotten day no one remembered it was my birthday but you didn't forget my birthday did you mr sake of course i didn't pal mr sucky you liar you totally forgot oh geez i can rely on you no you need punishment mr sucky no half ton man obesity documentary real stories and he smokes too well this man is on a mission he's speedrunning life i don't know i mean to reach half a ton at that speed time i think that's at least a 175 trillion chance i got a step sis for christmas so my dad remarried and his new wife has a daughter about my age you spelled fleshlight wrong that's the christmas spirit i was looking for they don't need to microchip you you're literally holding a tracking device right now wait my peepee's a tracking device i trusted you minnie jimmy what the frick man i already shot that chick like two times wait that would mean humans are predators yes yes we are don't tell the vegans oh they're just sexual predators this is extremely disrespectful like you might not like what we do but don't compare us to freaking vegans skill bully your mom get my dad and his husband this is kind of wholesome not really considering robin is batman's adopted son jiminy jimmykers batman i mean daddy i want to be with this boy dear santa why do all my toys say made in china i guess even you can't abstain from the allure of cheap labor like oinky capitalist pig josh it's not cheap labor if you're getting it for free wink wink master yoda would be ashamed in me ashamed i have not good taste you have yep yoda is scooby-doo confirmed 1989 2020. now this makes it look like yoda harvested george lucas's youth in order to rejuvenate why yes he sucked it out of me hmm good suck i gave well it's that time in the video that you love or hate or just don't really care much about fanarty time today's work is by an annoyed pansexual just love the name look it's them it's the narrators ah hi robin alexia wait i don't have brown hair i am a dark blonde thank you very much i'd be much more offended if i didn't find it super adorable and exciting for the fact someone actually drew something of me so i'll let you off the hook for now you annoyed pansexual as always if you want to see your future fan art in a future video be sure to post it in the mk subreddit you've heard this fifty thousand times now huli julie have made it to the end of today's video thank you for watching if you've made it this far the congrats you have achieved the status of being a spicy latte without the bad sugar intake in other words i think you're desirable and not problematic for people's health in the future so show me how good i am at complimenting people by liking this video and if you're new to the channel well about time you've come and said hi so subscribe and stick around why not click the notification bell too plenty more videos on the channel for you to check out as well anyway hope you had a fun time my name's been jack you've been a lovely smelly person to talk to today and i hope you smell as good as always that is creepy i'm gonna stop referring to people smelling nice you have a good one bye

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,213,656

Rating: 4.9529715 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, Cursedcomments

Id: 34GY1bJiUsE

Length: 17min 26sec (1046 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 09 2021