r/Cursedcomments | MASS DESTRUCTION

my mosques finally came in now I can go out in public and go shopping whoa I want one put one on you're kidding you've got yourself a child predator honey you'll never believe this there was a child predator at the store today hi guys welcome to NK I'm that weird a cappella intro and today we're gonna be looking at some cursed comments yes turns out people on the Internet do you say things that you think about in public would never say out loud me watching teddy bears wondering why there is no sound siren heads somewhere in a forest I don't need teddy bears to make the siren head my own doctor are you sexually active me my mom don't lie say no but I can't lie in front of the person I did it with I feel that just makes the situation worse I baked cookies in my car today yes they're tasty yes my car smells like fresh cookies yes it's very nice you know they are done when the kids stop crying if being cute is a crime I deserve to be arrested in jail for 100 years 100 years for a crime you didn't commit for that one my late great grandmother kept the books of melted nails from a house as a memento from the Great Chicago Fire yes forbidden rice krispy treat I can taste that and it's just metallic and painful Kobe beef in Kyoto Japan's best steakhouse rest in peace Kobe you will always be the best so it was Japan who did it all along never forget the spongebob and mr. Krabs thought they killed the man and tried to hide the body but what do you want me to do with the body booze or soda bottles of soda an example that the best TV shows meant for children are the educational ones well they do say children shows are designed to prepare you for adulthood when it's career day and your mum shows up with a webcam and a laptop don't worry Jimmy you'll be called a cut for another five years even though it's your mum and technically you couldn't be touched by her in the first place it won't matter because bullying is like a honey badger it doesn't care it does what it wants the girl in the backs life was forever changed on that day look at her she's just so invested compared to him suddenly Sally realized she's not interested in little Timmy anymore Congrats you have unlocked personal awakenings woman's pockets can fit less than half of a switch light whereas men's pockets can fit a whole switch subscribe to my only fans to see how I can fit a Gamecube sure this is a Wendy's when you google the lyrics of a song and you realize you've been singing nonsense six months battalion grandmas try frozen pizza for the first time this next Americans try healthy food oh I love these rocks next African kids try food isn't just food the true joy is to see them react to something that doesn't try to run away from them people have forgotten the original original Battle Royale Judaism my college was known for having a great Japanese Studies program and one year they hired a very good anthropologist who specialized in Japanese culture Tootie in the department but she quit after a year because she found the weaves too infuriating to try and teach sensei how would you say well maybe if you want something Puritan and watch the subs you'd actually be able to translate when they say that did you know to make a sword out of the blood of your enemies you will have to kill 359 people to get enough iron from their blood to make a long sword okey-dokey Oh alternatively just keep your enemy alive and in a perpetual state of vegetative delirium fed and watered just enough to remain this side of living systematically drain a safe amount of blood from the man-woman person demon al Josh Roger lower divine being at regular intervals not only will they be begging for the sweet release of death by the end of it all you'll also have a nifty sword made from a single enemy okay pal you know way too much detail into how to do that but still very educational thank you for sharing slapping my face for 24 hours in one video exclamation point damn 20 million views nice work man I paused the video but could still hear the sound coming from my parents bedroom just kidding I join in a lovely school photo with an apparent black eye [Laughter] [Music] you have your mother's eyes this is getting too dark what would you do in this situation Oh being beaten by Megalodon I agree what the hell am I supposed to do dive into his tender throats and squirm out of his massive monsters where do people come up with these thoughts how I held my breath for 17 minutes David Blaine hmm apparently not as entertaining as a guy slapping himself for 24 hours my brother tried this now he's been there for two days so proud of him come on cheetah after lunch ah dude you got someone on you knows this better but their animal guts almost got it it's just just on the top on the top of the nose when she's on her period considering there's a chunk on the nose there I'm questioning how thorough you are when you meanwhile an interesting AF it has been four years to the day since I had my scoliosis surgery the surgery itself took 14 hours surgeons drilled metal straightening bars into my spine these are x-rays taken before and after the surgery bro that ain't a spine that's a sneaky snake there's metal plates geez man that's insane can we take a moment to appreciate how lucky we are to live in the current era with medical science they tamed your bone snake yuck now I'm imagining putting metal plates on my burned snake penis hahaha Russian weave intensifies therapist anime Putin doesn't exist he can't hurt you anime Putin [Music] maybe one of my proudest saps what can't fall asleep huh no not really what if it's because the sleep servers are full right now and when you fall asleep is because someone else won't come from their sleep you got to use brute force to hack into the sleep service like I sing unfortunately you will be stuck in the server forever enjoying your meat murderer can't we have just one dinner date where she doesn't mention the time I shot her in long so I'm a murderer just because I'm meeting your mom I think you are overreacting right now gone hub fence have you ever hit that share on Facebook button and why friend of mine for April Fool's shared stepmom corn to a stepmom with the text underneath this could beat us his dad found it hilarious what do you mean oh yeah yeah April Fool's yeah I gotcha together choose your separation method official Lego separator approximately 70% success rate keeps body parts intact works on multiple situations only works on small breaks may not be available in your country banned in England as a considered weapon long thumbnail approximately 50% success rate works in almost all situations most people have thumb only works with nails not clipped high risk of ruining pretty nails old reliable approximately 99% success rate considered the best loss result option some people may not have teeth if done incorrectly teeth will be reduced to atoms hahahaha weaponized Lego separator yeah we make jesuis off on his own in some freaking road man jumped him and shanked his butt up with one of them dings to get me also realizing I didn't need to read the whole thing I just had to read the first but it was still relatable dammit my face every day during the lockdown ridiculous inflatable swamp anything so if you're brave enough no no this what it's doing I don't want that to happen leave my ridiculous inflatable Swan thing alone my 8 year old brother bought me slime for the holidays I don't have the heart to tell him it looks like Thanos left testicle now you can complete the collection he could be collecting the testicles of Thanos or he's collecting the left testicle of every Marvel character there the true Infinity stones of the muffler's my fish just had a baby so we celebrating no no don't do that my mom celebrated the same way when she found out she was pregnant that's a cleanly typed out comment so I'm gonna say you turned out pretty well this is more twists than a Hollywood movie when you get cornered by the school bully so you send one last text to your Minecraft girlfriend but his phone vibrates this is a strangely specific situation bully unzips hungry likes you too in Mike Carroll vid 19 positive stupider than what they expect me what diarrhea yeah yeah that's right zebra right can I shoot it a very appropriate joke in the current climate of things [Applause] rang his hand attempts to fish with spear after watching locals dude that is so cool do not show him no oh God could you imagine when you get caught in the middle of a massive debate your mom your dad your brother your stepsister how does your entire family catch you at once stop doing it at the dinner table what the hell is this woody doll woody were three months without blinking because Andy has not left his house for quarantine yeah I'd be calling a goddamn Exorcist if my toy doll started looking like this after three months woody watching an to play with his woody during quarantine uh toys live a horrifying life what would you do she unplugged your router in the middle of your game and smiled like this no no don't ask this on the Internet I'll use the time to form a strong romantic relationship with her that'll eventually lead to marriage when we eventually grow old together and we find ourselves in the hospital and life support I'll bring up the time shared unplugged my router then I'll unplug her life support and smile like the long game alike is man breaks into a Burger King and drinks gallons of deep frying oil honestly looking at that photo I not surprised that he could we all make mistakes in the heat of passion Jimbo now with all that oil in your system your poop turns into food the deep frying process removes all the bacteria making it safe to eat oh ok can I get a scientist on this is this legit just asking for a friend who wants to save money on food you and your child are driving late at night along a deserted road you come across a van full of money with the driver dead from an apparent heart attack what lesson do you teach your child lift with your legs not your back can we take a moment to appreciate the fact that we grew up with this and not this I grew up with the knurled version wins Miss Universe for the 67th time aliens maybe next time guys that does us for the video today thank you all so much for watching please like the video if you enjoy today's content if you managed to survive being absolutely offended by everything in this video today subscribe as well we have a lot of different content on this channel for everyone's taste my name's Jack I love your face and now I'm gonna Rhea

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,073,480

Rating: 4.9406848 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/blessedimages, r/blessedimages emkay, blessedimages emkay, emkay blessedimages, emkay blessed images, cute animals, cute dogs, cute cats, animal compilation, blessed, wholesomememes, wholesomememes emkay, r/wholesomememes, r/wholesomememes emkay

Id: gIdDZFwjPxo

Length: 12min 25sec (745 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 11 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/Pamperz0]

We did it gamers

[u/PuzzarianIdeal]

Go to 10:18 btw

Also, u/VenomAhab

[u/Aids_are_fun]

What makes it better is emkay read the post

[u/Deadshot229]

If Neo was my step sister.....

Let's not go there.